Dear Diary, I Have a Confession

Dear Diary.

It's been a long while since I've written in here. I'm all grown up now with a wonderful husband but I have to get something off of my chest. Maybe if I write this down I can understand what went wrong and figure out why I did what I did and why I let it continue for so long.

I'm so confused as to how I could violate my husband's trust so thoroughly and so willingly. I've always prided myself in being a strong and a pure woman but for some reason, I couldn't stop myself.

If Mike, my husband ever found out, he would be devastated and I can't let that happen. My life has changed because if my one indiscretion. HA! One, that's a laugh

I still don't know how "IT" happened to begin with. We had been married for not even a year. Mike and I were both paying our way through college so I took a job at a shoe store at night while he dove head first into finishing his degree while also holding down a full time job. Maybe if Mike wasn't so focused, he would have noticed the change in me. Maybe not. I mean, it's weird. We really didn't change much. I was always very sexual every since we tied the knot.

Mike on the other hand was so focused on getting us on the fast track with a good paying job and a great start to our future, let the gas off the pedel when it came to making love to me. I don't blame him in the least. I respect what he did. And what did I do? I repaid him back by violating his trust.

Robert, a coworker and I both worked together, almost exclusively. Those nights happen to be where my naive innocence and purity was lost forever and where my sexual awakening began.

Robert is fairly attractive but certainly not the buff athlete you hear so much about in those fantasy books or romance novels. You know, the ones that give me a gag reflex.

I was brought up in a very conservative household and believed a woman should save herself for marriage, and I did just that. My husband, Mike, was my first lover and I thought he would be my last. Yeah, when you least expect it, life changes.

In reality, Mike was enough for me. Ha! I said "was". Even though I did what I did, Mike and I still enjoyed a great sex life, even with his schedule. As I hinted to before. It wasn't quite as often as before but what did I expect? Actually, I think that after carrying on for as long as I did, my indiscretions made sex with my husband even better. Oh who am I kidding. It was still wrong.

Maybe it was because of the guilt I felt after coming home from work three nights a week and sometimes four. Okay, there were a few fives thrown in there. Anyways, coming home with the feel of another man's hands all over my body not to mention that I was still throbbing from the lashing I had just taken. But still, I have no explanation for doing what I'm about to confess.

Why am I telling you this, diary? Because the secret is eating at me and I have to tell someone and that someone can't be able to tell anyone else.

I wish I could say it just happened once and that it was just a one time slip but that would be a bold face lie.

But I'm procrastinating. I'm just trying to think of how to put this. Yes, I know. I've hinted at what I've done.

Jeez, I'll just say it. I CHEATED on Mike. Thats right, I committed the worst sin that I can imagine. I committed adultery against my best friend and husband and became so seduced by the feel and touch of another man and the mystique of having extramarital sex that I couldn't bring myself to stop no matter how guilty I felt after each encounter.

I had an affair! Oh god I hate that word but that's what it turned out to be. It wasn't a fling or a casual rendezvous. It was a full blown affair. Anyways, my affair lasted for a good while before situations forced it to end. Thank goodness.

For months, I actually had another man's big, fat cock, ramming balls deep inside of my married, cheating pussy.

When I say it, and I see it here in print, it disgusts me. Men have affairs, not women. Women were usually the victims of a lecherous seduction, weren't they? Apparently not. I used to think of a woman having an affair as a slut or a whore. How does it feel to be on the receiving end of your own wrath, Kara?

I don't know why I let it continue. I must have went to work to tell Robert a half a dozen times that we have to stop. Every single time I did, I would find myself on my back with my feet facing the ceiling or bending over a shelf or desk with my ass sticking up, taking his bare cock into me while I begged him to fuck me like an obsessed little slut. Somehow it all became a morbid need.

I admit it. I did become obsessed with the feel of the raw sex so much that I would volunteer to pull more shifts just so I could get fucked again and again and again. Remember those five nights in a row? Yeah, I was definitely obsessed.

I even made up stories to my husband just so I could work more nights. How honorable and what a good employee I was. HAHA! Robert on the other hand thought he had died and gone to heaven.

I still can't explain why I couldn't stop him from fucking me. Alright, let me rephrase that so I'm honest. I can't explain why I didn't want him to stop fucking me. Eventually, I was the one begging for it. Do you believe it, diary? I BEGGED another man to fuck me! I don't know how many times I let him dump his load inside of my bare pussy. Yes, that's right. We never used a condom.

Good job, Kara. For some reason I wanted to feel the raw flesh of his cock sliding inside of my unprotected pussy as his cock massaged his sperm deeper into the walls of my canal. Oh my, that made me twitch. Oh and not to mention that I wanted to feel his cum in my panties after he had pulled out of me.

Robert didn't have the biggest cock but it was thicker than I'm used to. That's funny! "What I'm used to." I think Robert fucked me so many times that I did get used to him to the point to where he felt, well, normal.

Did I mention how much he came? No? WOW. He would push so deep into me that our bodies became molded together. I could actually feel his cock expand and surge each time a rope of his sperm pushed through his shaft to soak the insides of my pussy. Each surge made my eyes roll to the back of my head until his big, full balls had completely emptied inside of me. My birth control pills were working overtime for sure trying to fight off all of the sperm that was no doubt being shot directly against my cervix.

The mental image that he was literally painting my uterus with his sperm, oh my goodness. Sometimes, even a few hours after he had used me, I could still feel his cum running out of my pussy while I lied in my own bed next to my sweet, sleeping husband who was exhausted from a long day of securing our future. The feeling of it running down my ass was, what can I say, mind altering.

Thank goodness that Mike isn't a big fan of him eating me out. That would have been bad. Or maybe it would have kept me honest. Oh, I don't know. As my sexual dishonesty continued, so did my urge for make love to my husband.

There were so many times when Mike would shoot his cum inside of me after I had just cheated on him not knowing that his own sperm was competing with the cum of another man. I would always clean up before Mike got to me but I knew that Robert was still there. It felt as if the love of my life was reclaiming me which made me feel a lot better.

Sorry, sorry. Focus. I'll continue.

Oh, by the way, I swallow now. HA! Mike wasn't even the first. How's that for being a loyal spouse. I actually gave my oral virginity to another man before my own husband! That's fucked up in so many ways.

I felt so guilty though that I really did try to fix it. You should have seen the look on Mike's face when I told him I wanted to swallow his cum. I, of course, never told him that it was because of the extreme guilty I felt for giving a blowjob to, and swallowing another man's cum for the very first time just an hour before and many, many times after.

Wow, well I said it. I cheated and did things with another man that I had never, ever let my husband do with me. At least Mike took my vaginal virginity. Even though I gave my mouth away and yes, I'm ashamed to say it...I even considered giving my anal virginity to my coworker. Why? I guess I like being used like a whore. Hell, I don't know.

Ok, I better write this or I won't finish it.

Robert and I had worked together for only around 6 months before, well, IT happened. We would flirt off and on during our time together but nothing too serious ever came out of it. I mean, he was harmless, until he wasn't.

One night, when everyone else had finished their shift, Robert started the flirting as expected. He must have been extra horny because he kept saying things more and more sexual and we became quite personal with our comments. I guess I felt comfortable with him. In hindsight, too comfortable. He mostly told me how hot I looked and how my husband must be a very lucky man to have me naked in his bed every night. He said he liked the way my slacks fell into my ass. You know, innocent stuff like that. Whatever...

You think that another man mentioning my nudity and the sexual connotations would have made me feel uncomfortable and the red alerts would have sounded in my head. Nope, nothing. In fact. Now that I knew that he looked at my ass, I wiggled a little more and wore more thin slacks to elicit even more comments.

There were a lot of nights where my small chest size, which is a B-cup was his main focus. Apparently he has a thing for small breasts. "They stayed on the woman's chest and never fell into the drawers" he would say. I thought that was pretty clever.

He wanted to know if it was true that the nipples on small chested gals were more sensitive to arousal than big chested women. Then he asked if I had ever had a nipple orgasm. Honestly I didn't even know there was such a thing and told him so. He then said, "let me show you."

Robert told me about a gal that loved it when he would suck her nipples and wanted me to experience his technique. I'm pretty sure that he knew that he was getting me wet.

"I'll start out gentle, kissing your breasts all over, especially the underside. Then I'll move up to your areola and gently lick around it making sure to leave your perfect, and I'm sure pink, nipples alone. But only at first. Your nips will get nice and firm wanting to jump right off of your sweet little titties. Then I will suddenly take your nipples into my mouth and suck them really gentle like."

I was just standing there staring at the audacity of his words. Yep, I got a nipple erection alright. Thank goodness for bra padding.

"Then I'll suck them really hard, almost sucking your little buds right off of the caps. Then I'll let up and then go hard again. Sooner or later, you'll be grinding your legs together until you explode in your first nipple orgasm. Who knows, maybe you'll be turned on enough to get off completely. Let me ask you, are your nipples connected directly to your clit?"

I can't believe he just stood there and smiled after saying all of this. How inappropriate! And how turned on I was...

After he got me all hot and bothered, not that I told him that, he changed the subject so we could do some actual work, for the moment at least. Oh he knew what he was doing. He was getting me to think about it until I wanted it for myself. Oh, I wanted it. I wasn't going to tell him that though.

As the night wore on, Robert gradually ramped up his sexy talk but being the naive barely married 20 year old college girl I apparently am, I never saw what he was doing. He of course, was trying to and successfully seducing me. It was working in a big way. I mean, he seriously got me going for goodness sake. My pants were even uncomfortable at the seam, digging into my clitoris. My freaking nipples were hard as ever and refused to go down. Damn him.

He asked if my nipples were wired to my clit?? YES THEY WERE. And right now they were ready to go off any minute. No, of course I didn't actually say that.

I would usually just go home after a night of flirting and attack my husband. We would fuck like rabbits and that would be the end of it.

Then when all the customers were gone, he asked me to follow him into the back room. He obviously knew that I was aroused enough that I wouldn't scream, sexual harassment. He knew that this was the night that he had been working for.

Robert looked right at my breasts and even though he couldn't see them, he told me.

"I bet your nipples are aching to be sucked."

I just starred at him with my mouth open, breathing harder than necessary.

"Pull up your shirt and bra and let me see your nipples. Or better yet, just take them off and I'll suck your little gum drops until you have your first nipple orgasm."

Gum drops? I of course asked him why in the world I would I do such a bold thing.

"I know that at the least, your nipples are pushing at your bra and in some desperate need of some room and some air. I'm sure that they are begging to be sucked at this very moment. Prove me wrong, Kara."

Oh crap, he was good and so right. My nipples were in fact throbbing as he spoke. It had started to rain outside and we probably wouldn't be having any more customers for the rest of the night. Again, dammit. He probably even looked at the weather forecast before work. Everything was going his way.

I just looked at him and stared back in pure amusement. All he saw was the lust in my eyes and how flushed my neck and chest were along with my cheeks. Oh I was hot alright.

Since this is a confession, I guess I should tell you that I was glad that I was wearing panties. I have a feeling that if I wasn't, my arousal would have been running down my legs. Yeah, real lady like.

I don't know why I didn't just laugh and walk out to the front but I was frozen as we made eye contact. For no other reason other than I was aroused beyond comprehension, I reached up and slowly unbuttoned my blouse and unclasped my bra just waiting for him to say, Kidding. But no, he didn't do that.

Robert was focused on his prize which happened to be a naive, married woman with very little sexual experience. Of course I knew it was wrong. I may be naive but i'm not stupid, I just couldn't help myself.

So there I was. A good, loyal, happily married woman giving a full frontal to a man who wasn't my husband. I figured I would show him that I was brave enough to call his bluff and then cover right up again.

When my bra came away from my nipples, they were as hard and as big as they had ever been. They were actually poking out so hard that they hurt. Robert was right, the release of my breasts felt so good. Not to mention that baring my tits to my coworker also heightened my arousal ten fold. I swear my legs were shaking.

Robert sat down on the chair by the desk. "Closer" he said. As a puppet on an imaginary string, I stepped to only a foot away from him. As I stepped closer I actually heard myself say to myself, "What are you doing, Stop!

When I become aroused I become extremely weak, or is it submissive... Whatever I am, I've always wondered if I had a hint of slut in me. I don't remember how many times that I masturbated to the picture all of these guys surrounding me and taking turns with me. Maybe deep down, that's just who I am... Or want to be.

Back to my confession. His eyes feasted on my aching, bare nipples. Roberts hands slowly roamed up my thighs, up around my hips and finally touched the flesh of my waist with his hands.

"Look at me," He said. Of course I had no choice. Our eyes locked as the back of his fingers finally touched the underside of my breasts making me jump and making my nipples hurt even more. His hands then roamed up the sides of my breast and without touching the areola or the nipple, he gently returned to my waist.

"Closer." I stepped even closer to his mouth knowing what was going to happen.

"I'm going to enjoy every bit of you."

I don't know where it came from but I heard a little moan escape my throat. I'm pretty sure that, at that moment, he knew he was going to fuck me.

My mouth just hung open as I moaned in exquisite pleasure as his mouth closed onto my left tit. My arms fell and my bra hit the floor with my shirt. My whole left breast was sucked into his mouth, B-cup remember? OMG it felt SO good. He could have done anything to me at that moment.

I seriously think he gave me a sudden mini-orgasm the first time I entered his mouth. I know for sure that my clitoris surged. What a rush!

Robert's tongue was doing things and making me feel like no man should ever make another man's wife feel. He went back and forth between my tits, licking and sucking my areola before taking my nipples into his mouth again. I was so gone.

Then I said what I guess women are supposed to say in these situations.

"I'm married."

Seriously? Is that all I had? My husband was going to be there to pick me up soon and my coworker was expertly sucking my nipples and all I could muster up was, "I'm married?" At least he did come back with a definitive response.

"I don't care." Wow, what a guy.

With that, Robert pulled off of my tits and left me standing there as he hurriedly walked out of the back room. He went to the sales floor and I heard the front door lock. I checked my watch and noticed that he had closed early.

Any self respecting woman would have come to her senses and fixed herself back up to cover her modesty. Nope, not me. I didn't know if I couldn't move or didn't want to. I looked down to the floor and saw my blouse and my bra. How did this happen? I still didn't do anything about it, just stared. Way to stand up to your morals, girl!

When Robert came back, I was still standing in the same spot with my back to the desk. My white skin and pink, very erect nipples still fully on display.

"Is your husband picking you up as usual tonight?"

Robert knew without a doubt that of course, Mike was picking me up. I think he just wanted me to remember that I was married and that for the next half hour or so, I was his slut, not someone else's wife.

I gave Robert a worried look and nodded in the affirmative. You would think that mentioning my husband would bring me back to my senses. Think again, that's not what happened.

"Don't worry, Kara. We have time."

In his arrogance, Robert probably thought that I was worried we wouldn't have time to do what we or should I say, he wanted.

"Turn around, face the desk."

I felt as if I was dreaming as I submissively turned and faced the desk. Robert walked up behind me and I won't pretend I didn't know what was going to happen. Why else would a man tell a half dressed woman to turn around and bend over.

"Pull your pants down, I've always wanted to see your ass."

I was sure that it wasn't my ass that he wanted to see. I did what I was told and dropped my pants to my knees, bearing my panty clad ass to only the second man ever, knowing full well what was next. What a slut! Was this really me?

By the way, have you noticed that I pretty much hadn't said anything? Yeah...Me too.

Robert didn't even bother taking my panties down and had no intention of wasting any time with foreplay. All I heard next was his buckle and zipper along with the rustling of his own pants dropping before he gave me his next command. He was a man of few words.

"Pull them to the side."

I never looked back yet I knew exactly what he wanted. I acted as if this was the most natural thing to do. I reached around and pulled my panties to the side like I was told, exposing my swollen and very, very wet and married pussy to only the second man of my life. I must have been dripping and yes I could feel the dampness on my panties. They were soaked through.

"Fuck that's hot, Kara. Your pussy is perfect. I'm going to enjoy fucking you."