All Comments on 'Death of a Marriage'

Your writing is very good with fewer grammatical errors then I would have made if I tried to write in a language I could speak but do not think in so the writing would not flow smoothly.

Reminds me of a call I made to a friend in England. The owner of the house where she rented an apartment answered the phone. I asked for my friend and she called to her saying that she had a call. Then in a quiet voice she said; "It sounds like a foreigner ." I loved it! Although we spoke the same language I was a foreigner.

While I agree that the English is good for a non-English speaker, it still needed polishing by a more fluent speaker. Writing is different from speaking. When speaking, you get immediate feedback when the listener doesn't get what you're saying, you have to be more careful when writing because by the time you get that feedback it's too late.

You should reach out to stev2244, he has a lot of experience and success writing in English as a second language.

she hires a p.i and finds him

Not a bad start but I'm giving a 4 just because the story needs an edit with all the sentence breaks make it a bit tough to read. I also wish there was more fleshing out, the break up of a marriage happening in one page at breakneck speed left a lot of things unwritten.

Noop. I like that

Not bad for your first, a little choppy and too brief a statements not being sentences. But the start is good. You left out much like phone call specifics, the kids and their attitude but we will see how you develop the story.

4.5*, Hooyah, Salute

I've read this series several times so I could get all the characters aligned in my head and I finally found one small, tiny, unimportant spelling mistake in the first chapter. Want to know what I found? I'm not gonna tell, I'm not gonna tell, nope not gonna tell all the other picky people who can't enjoy a well written story without complaining about their idea of a writing weakness from a non-English speaking author. Look forward to reading all your stories. Glad to see a new writer who is still submitting.

pretty straight forward and simple. No sneaking around and getting pictures. No exposing her infidelity to friends and family. He was pretty easy on her. She wanted to explain??? It didn't really look like was?? Could have been better but it's ok but I do love a BTB story especially when the guy messing with the married woman gets his....

Very good start. Looking forward to reading the next chapters. Thanks for sharing 👍. *****

Great job!!! Can't wait for the rest!!!

Why mention recording the conversation and not tell us what he recorded?🤨... I also would've liked to hear her explanation... it tickles me when a cheater thinks they can explain fucking around and everything will go back to normal.. so, yes, I enjoy hearing the bullshit🤭🤣🤣.. the story was OK.. it felt a little rushed.. the wife reaction puzzles me. From what the hubby is saying she's been treating him like shit on the bottom of her shoes for a year. they no longer kissed, hug, or talked.. sooooo, why is she crying?🤭🤭... he really couldn't see she was cheating? I mean the shitty attitude towards ones spouse is usually the first clue you have a cheating spouse on your hand. Ehhh. I just felt it was a little rushed with very little back story.. I hope there's a part time that puts things in context.. this ain't it... I want to hear what the slut has to say

Ho Hum, yep, hmmpf.

Good start

Nice story, I don't think you have to make the story like writing bullet points unless you that the format you wanted. Going to read the series before grading

I like it so far.

Not a bad story. Your english is OK but you're have Syntax issues as well as colloquial background and connection.

I suggest you ask either a British or an American writer to proof your stories and you edit them.

Again, good story so please don't give up!

Highcountryrider

I've read this before and still enjoy it, except for the sad part.

Whoever I see a series on here, I wait to rate it until I can find out how it ends. If the author ruins the ending then I come back and rate the entire series accordingly.

5* please see part 4 for my overall comments.

Give her the pink slip. Start a harem.

I take it you are from one of those countries that lacks paragraphs.

Hey JoshFrom53! Thank you for writing and sharing. Much appreciated.

A couple of comments for you about the story. Maybe it was the way it was published (who can control how a story is finally formatted) but with the simple single sentence/paragraph format, it seemed more like an outline than a finished story. I "get" that sometimes a single sentence is better than a paragraph, but usually no. I wish there were more context and substance to the characters, and the progression to the point of breaking. I guess it all goes back to me thinking this was an outline more than a completed story.

bobareenoabout 2 months ago

I take it you are from one of those countries that lacks paragraphs

Maybe it should be read from right to left?

Quizas se debe leer de derecha a izquierda?

thanks, If I need a story intro. I'll call you. In the meantime, this story is not good. The paragraph spacing makes reading it not fun. The story is incomplete; the story doesn't really go anywhere. The story doesn't present any characters worth writing about.

Pretty abrupt writing style, but not bad.

Direct and to the point. You could explain things a bit more thoroughly but, all in all, a good start.

Why didn't he kick the bitch in the cunt on his way out the door?????