Death of a Marriage Pt. 04

Linda put an arm around Karin's shoulders. "Relax. Take a rest and I'll call you when Rick is back for lunch."

Karin went downstairs and took in her room. It was light and airy, with one big window overlooking the trees, a comfortable bed, and a shower room around the corner. She changed into jeans and a sweater to be more comfortable, and then decided to try to take a nap. It had been a long and exhausting trip.

It seemed like the next moment that she heard the soft alto from Linda. "Wake-up sleepyhead. We're waiting for you."

They went upstairs to find Eve and Fred were chatting with Rick as she entered the kitchen. Eve jumped up and hugged her mother, but Fred was a little more formal. Then Karin turned to Rick and took him in.

Rick looked fantastic, lean, flat belly, strong arms and hands, and tanned. Only his face had aged; it was weathered and lined, with eyes that sparkled, showing compassion and sorrow. Unsure how to greet him, she just stood in front of him.

Linda fixed that, giving Rick a little push. He stepped forward and put his arms around her. Karin felt the strong arms and Rick's hard body against her. She inhaled his scent and it was just as she remembered, leading her to tear up. She collapsed on a chair and cried her heart out. After a while she became aware of a pair of arms around her. She looked up to see Eve in front of her with a glass of water. Then she realized that the arms were Linda's. The men were gone.

====

Eve looked at her mother.

It was a sad sight, a strong woman almost destroyed by her own doing. Linda was sitting next to her trying to console her. Eve thought by herself, That woman is amazing. Any other, including myself, would revel in this situation and leave my mother wallowing in her misery, but Linda just tries to console her worst competition. She must love and trust my dad unconditionally.

When Karin calmed a bit and looked up, Eve said with compassion in her eyes, "Mum, I think there are three women in dad's life and they are all in this kitchen. You lost dad. And the harsh truth is: You did it yourself. Dad moved on and almost literally plucked Linda from the street. Dad still refuses to tell Linda why you two are divorced. He also swore us to silence on this subject. Maybe it's best if you tell Linda why? And Linda tells her story. The men aren't coming back before dinner and they took Thomas with them. Just know, you definitely can't have dad back. That door closed when he met Linda and Thomas. Linda, do you agree?"

Linda nodded as she continued stroking Karin's back and shoulders. She looked into Karin's eyes and asked, "Are you feeling up to it?"

Karin said, "Yes. It will be the first time I share my part of this dreadful story with others. Eve and her brother read it in Rick's dictionaries and saw it happen.

"It all started when I became Andrea's secretary. For me it was a promotion because before I was one from the pool available secretaries and I got a raise.... "

It took Karin two hours to complete. Sometimes she had to stop because the emotions were too much. When she came to the story from that romantic dinner for two Eve had to take over and tell that part of the story. When Karin finished, she felt purged. She marveled at her daughter and thought, She is so much like her father. She made me do this in the knowledge that it would help me.

Linda raided the fridge and came back with a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc, three glasses, and some cheese. She said, "I think we are going to need this," while she poured the wine.

Linda started her story over how she fell for Rick. "First I have to tell you about my upbringing. I was raised by parents which had, as Rick says, Victorian beliefs about the role of women in this world. I was taught to be submissive in everything. I learned to cook, to do household chores and so on. Reading, writing and doing calculations was taught by a priest but just enough to get by.

"I was forced to marry a man twenty years older than me when I was 22. The evening before the marriage took place, my mother took me aside and told me that my future husband would want to do things with me and touch my 'secret place' and my breasts. And he would stick his 'thing' in me. I wasn't allowed to complain. Best was to let him have his way, lay still with my legs spread."

Karin and Eve looked at Linda, unable to believe her tale.

Linda continued, "Really I don't lie and I don't exaggerate. Five years later I finally became pregnant. But when I was in my seventh month the man had a stroke while he was in a stripjoint and died on the spot. The costs of the funeral left me destitute and the only way out was going back to my parents. They soon found Frank. Frank took me in and promised my parents to marry me. Well, we moved to Midville and he never married me.

"I was already ill when Frank, half drunk, demanded a blowjob. Normally I gave in after I cleaned him up a bit. 'Hygiene was for pussies,' he always said. I was nauseous and felt sick. He refused to allow me to clean him up, so I refused to suck him. Frank got angry and started beating me. When he saw me lying on the ground, vomiting, he threw us out of the house. He locked it up, took his stuff and disappeared.

Eve looked in the refrigerator for another bottle. She said grinning at the other two women, "I think we are going to order dinner because we need this to keep calm and there will be no cooking when this is gone."

Linda continued. "The next day we left, but Thomas kept nagging me about saying goodbye to Rick. I didn't want to, because Rick was pushing me to take a job as a housekeeper. I didn't want another man using me to his advantage, but I was too sick and tired, so I told Thomas to go up alone. The next thing was Rick taking me to the house and Stephan was examining me."

Linda took a sip of her wine and looked at Karin. "Four days later I met Eve. When she told me that I was 'out of it' for four days, I panicked. I only could think about Thomas and how I was going to pay all this back. Eve tried to put me at ease." She took another sip and said, "God this is so hard."

This time it was Karin who tried to comfort Linda. "Go on dear, you're doing good, be brave."

Linda sighed deeply and went on, "Sorry. Anyway, I've never met anyone like Rick. My thinking was warped to the max. Nobody ever did something, for me, just out of compassion. Eve, when you told me that Rick took Thomas to school and provided for everything he needed and I was to stay for another three weeks, I couldn't believe my ears. I just plain panicked. Out of sheer despair, I took the job. I would give in to everything Rick demanded of me, just because of Thomas. It took a while before I saw how much Thomas and Rick liked each other. Even when Eve told me differently numerous times, I started to steel myself for the demands. I wondered when he wanted me to 'service' him, but it never came. I couldn't understand! I'm not that bad looking."

Both other women assured her she wasn't.

"After a few weeks I finally noticed how Thomas and Rick were interacting and I could see that Thomas was happy for the first time in years, but I was becoming desperate. I was convinced that Rick didn't notice me and thought me ugly. I now wanted to do everything to keep Thomas happy and at school. One day Rick caught me having trouble adding up a few figures. I thought I'd die. I also thought, "Now he is going to fire me and send me away." The opposite happened. He asked Melanie to teach me. She was a teacher before she married Stephan, you know. After that, I started to see Rick differently. During my lessons with Melanie, we talked a lot and finally it dawned on me. My father and those two other men were the assholes. Rick was almost on the other side of that spectrum."

Linda stopped for a moment, gathering her thoughts before doggedly going on. "Eve, you already told me so many times. I always blamed that on Rick being your father, but you really meant it. You meant it all and I didn't believe you. I'm so sorry."

Eve laughed out loud. "Linda, you went through hell and back. With your past I wouldn't even believe myself. Don't worry about it. Go on. It's getting more interesting by the minute. "

Linda looked up and saw Eve smiling at her. She went on, "That's where I started to have feelings for him. I wouldn't only let Rick have his way with me, I wanted it. My talks with Melanie weren't only about men in general, but also about sexuality, specifically the female kind, and I started to wonder. I masturbated myself for the first time in an erotic way, dreaming about Rick, not just quickly scratching an itch.

"Then, that afternoon, you came running down the stairs telling me to eavesdrop. We both heard Rick telling Thomas that he loved me. I was so angry, so terribly angry at him. He sat there telling my son that he loves me instead of telling me. My anger subsided a little when we heard his reasoning. Eve took Thomas with her, for a pizza. While they went downstairs to the garage I cornered Rick and forced him to kiss me. The rest is history. Oh yes, I almost forgot. That first night was everything I dreamed of and more. I never had an orgasm brought on by a man, let alone three in a row."

Karin had tears in her eyes. "You found happiness because I threw it away. I don't begrudge you; I did it to myself. And I won't try to take your man, I promise, for two reasons. I'm far too impressed by you and I want Rick to be as happy as he can be. You can give him that. If I interfere, he will become unhappy. Next is pragmatic. If I try something with your husband, my children will kill me. Figure of speech, of course. But I'd like to see my ex-husband sometimes. When he hugged me, I felt a bit healed."

Linda looked at the lonely woman and recognized the pain she must feel, for she, too, had experienced two sides of life. She had two men without being loved, while Karin had love and threw it away. Linda still recalled the emptiness she felt, and knew that Karin must feel that now. To make this worse, she did it to herself.

Linda carefully chose her words. "Karin, we can try to be friends. When you visit Eve, you can come over to visit me. That gives you a chance to see Rick as well.

====

Time passes by.

Life is good in Midville, Rick thought. In the seven years he had now lived here, he had found happiness again. Rick saw Thomas grow in the role of 'uncle' for Eve and Fred's three children. Marc and Elisa's two children stayed in Rick's house as much as possible. All his grandchildren used The Woods as their personal playground.

To his initial astonishment, Linda and Karin became very good friends. The three women never told him what happened between them that afternoon. But who was he to complain?

Karin now lived a two-and-a-half-hours drive away. Stephan arranged a job interview for her as a medical secretary at the hospital there. Even though she'd resigned her old job and created a scandal, her former employer provided a glowing reference. She was hired and moved to live near her work. Karin dated a few men, but it never became serious enough to last long.

Karin and Linda spent a lot of time together. When Karin stayed in Midville, it always was in the room downstairs. Rick maintained his distance though. He was friendly, he hugged Karin at her arrival and departure. They had an occasional friendly chat and they talked a lot about their children and grandchildren.

====

One day Rick came home and found Stephan and Linda at the kitchen table. Rick was surprised to see his friend at that hour. He said, "Morning, Stephan. What brings you here at this time of the day?"

Linda's eyes were red and she said the much dreaded words, "Rick, sit down please. We have to talk."

"You scare me. Is there something going on that I should know about between the two of you?" joked Rick while he sat down at the kitchen table.

Linda looked at Rick with a worried face and replied, "No. But we do have bad news. You remember I told you about my headaches?"

"Yes, but that was a while ago. Why?"

"Because they wouldn't go away, so I went to Stephan. He sent me to the hospital. There they did some tests, took blood samples, and examined me in detail. The bad news is that I have a tumor in my brain. And it's a very aggressive grade 4 tumor."

Rick paled at this news. He almost mumbled, "I don't know what to say. Can they do something about it? Surgery, radiation or whatever?"

Stephan looked at Linda and asked her, "ShalI I explain?"

Linda nodded, so Stephan started, "Rick there is no treatment for this. Surgery is out of the question unless Linda wants to live like a vegetable. The remaining treatments are only life prolonging. What we need to do now is to look at the pros and cons and decide how to go further."

Linda said almost emotionlessly, "Without treatment I have six, maybe eight months left. Treatment can, at best, add three months. But the treatment will severely reduce the quality of my life, right from the moment I start it, so my preference is that I will not be treated, but for pain medication and palliative care. Before I decide for sure, though, I need you, Rick, and you, too, Stephan, on board."

Rick was paralyzed. He couldn't move and he couldn't think anything but Linda, my love! over and over again. Stephan observed Rick and said to Linda, "I'll call Melanie to bring dinner over for the four of us; we can talk about it over dinner. Rick needs some time to process the bad news and your wish." He added, "When do you want to tell the children?"

Linda thought for a moment and asked, "I hope that you agree with my wish. As for the children, I think tomorrow morning will be for Thomas and Eve and in the afternoon Marc. And of course Karin. But first, I need to bring Rick back to his senses."

Linda's last words snapped Rick back to reality. He said, "My love, whatever you decide, I'll have your back. It's your life and your decision. I cannot and will not interfere in that, and I'll take care of you until the end."

Stephan took a deep breath, looked at both and told them, "I think you are very brave, both of you. I'll help you and stand by you with everything I have."

====

Eight months later.

The room was silent, but for the soft hiss of the oxygen generator and Linda's labored breathing. Her body had withered away from the cancer. The two men were alternately looking at the heart rate monitor and at her lined and sallow face.

She sighted and at last the monitor flatlined. Rick closed Linda's eyes, kissed her forehead and said softly, "Rest my love. The suffering has ended."

Rick and Thomas stood beside the bed for a while, each with their own thoughts. Then Thomas went out to inform the others.

The last three months of Linda's life were harsh. Eve, with help of her mother, nursed Linda. Stephan tried to alleviate Linda's pain until there wasn't anything helpful left but morphine and anesthetics. Rick was amazed at how close Linda and Karin had become and the care Karin showed for Linda.

For her final three weeks, Linda was bedridden, so Rick arranged a hospital bed in the room overlooking The Woods and a bed next to her where he, Eve, or Karin could sleep. During that time, they watched Linda's life slowly trickle away.

The day of the funeral was cool but sunny. The leaves started to yellow and fall was announcing itself. The church was filled to capacity and some people even had to stay outside. The service itself was sober but filled with love. After the service, people had time to say their farewells and offer their condolences.

The funeral itself was held in The Woods, attended only by Rick, their children, grandchildren, Karin, and their best friends. That day ended with dinner, talking about memories, and silent reminiscing.

After a week, life cautiously took its course. Karin had stayed that week with Eve and Fred, and she regularly checked on Rick and how he was coping. Then she said her goodbyes to Midville because she had to go to work again.

====

A year after the funeral.

One afternoon, a very nervous Karin found herself before the door of the big house in The Woods. She'd left her luggage with Eve and Fred, but in her hand she clutched a white envelope. She had a promise to fulfill.

When Linda became ill, she had long, difficult, and intense talks with Karin. Finally one evening and night culminated in that promise and the letter in the white envelope.

Now, Karin knocked on the door and waited. She heard Rick coming down the stairs and turning the lock. The door opened and a very surprised Rick said, "Karin, what a surprise. Come in."

Rick had aged considerably during Linda's sickness and was still looking tired, noted Karin.

Through Eve and Melanie, she knew that he took good care of himself physically but lived almost as a recluse, only coming out of the house when he was driving the bus or forced by Eve or Stephan.

"When did you arrive.? How long are you staying? Where is your bag?" Rick asked in one breath.

Karin asked, "Can I have something to drink first? I arrived minutes ago."

"Of course. But where is your bag? You're not going to drive back, I hope. You know that you can always stay here, don't you?" Rick replied when he gave Karin a mug of tea.

Karin blew over the hot tea, pushed the envelope to Rick, and said softly, "That's for you."

Rick looked confused at the envelope. He recognized the handwriting immediately. Linda addressed it to him. He took out his pocket knife, slit the envelope open, and carefully took the letter out. He started to read.

My dearest Rick,

A year after my funeral you are still alone otherwise Karin never would have given this letter. By the way; she is not aware of its contents.

As you know Karin and I bonded over the love we had for you. For me that was. For Karin you are still the love of her life. She still hurts over her 'bout of the stupids'. To be absolutely clear. I forced her to do this. So don't hold it against her.

I have to reach out to you from beyond the grave because you're selling yourself short.

Karin and I made a pact. I assume that she is sitting in front of you and is very nervous.

With all the love I hold for you both I Implore you to find it in your heart to take Karin back and let her take care of you. Both your lives will be so much better.

I know you so well that I am certain that you can do what I ask of you.

Please my love, listen very carefully to what she has to say. Take her very seriously and be gentle with her. Also take your time to consider all what she has to tell you.

With all my love,

Linda

Rick's eyes were wet. His shoulders hunched and he was very still. Karin almost didn't dare to drink her tea lest to disturb him. Finally, with a voice full of emotion, Rick asked Karin, "What is it you two women contrived? I know you have the best at heart for me so I won't explode or get angry."

Karin exhaled. She didn't even realize that she had held her breath all that time. She took a deep breath and she thought, That went better than we expected, In for a penny, in for a pound. She started, "Since Linda was diagnosed, she always worried about you. Not that you can't take care of yourself but that you might lose interest in life. And that shows if you lack interest in a new relationship. Linda and I made a deal, that I would talk to you after you read this letter. Karin took another deep breath and said, "Dear Rick, I'm here to stay. I sold my apartment and resigned from my job in the hope that you will take me in and let me care for you. I burned all my bridges. My luggage is with Eve. If you turn me down, I can stay with her.

"Rick, I beg you. Please let me take care of you. You need a companion in your life and I desperately want to be that companion. I love you so much and I still deeply regret what I did to you. I regret it because of the pain I caused you, not for the divorce. Linda and I told each other everything. We even talked about our sex lives with you and I told her what turns you on. She told me that you still hold me dear, but your polite distance tore at my soul.