All Comments on 'Decisions, Consequences and Tolstoy'

Dope-ass story, Mr. 1957. Write another, please. Randi.

it was the last Crusade, not Temple of Doom

"He chose poorly" is a line from The Last Crusade, not Temple of Doom.

Whew, I almost thought he would be a cuck that will take that bitch back, thank God he didn't but I'll give it a 3 because of the lack of revenge

The "She chose poorly" quote wasn't from "Temple of Doom" but from the 3rd Indiana Jones movie "The Last Crusade".

5 stars!

Yes it’s a Disney ending but one that wasn’t thoroughly one sided. People fuck up and consequences catch up as well.

Richard focused on work and took his eyes off his wife. Traci got complacent about marriage thinking she could have her cake and eat it as well.

And I liked that neither of them were involved with others. It’s hard to date when you’re in your late 30’s, early 40’s.

Great job!

Great story!

5

Home run "Pardon the pun"

A workmanlike morality play.

"she had her soon-to-be ex-husband get a vasectomy because she didn't want children"

If she hated children that much and was adamant that she would never have any, he should've insisted that she have her tubes tied. I have zero respect for any husband who agrees to neuter himself because the wife doesn't want kids.

"I gave up my chance to have children."

Putting aside him being such a spineless simp for actually going along with that in the first place, vasectomies can be reversible. He could've had it reversed, then hooked up with a broody thirty-something, and already be the father of a couple of kids by the time he bumped into Traci again.

This story wasn't up to your usual standard because the husband was such a pathetic loser. If he really wanted children and Traci refused to have any... why marry her? He should've dumped the useless crone and found himself a decent woman to give him the family he wanted.

Good but frustrating.

To me it seemed a bit disorganised as in the reading it goes from one couple to another seemlessly (different couple or one of the couple with different partner etc), Just confusing and apart from thinking "yay, go mayor" & "congratulations Evan" nothing to endear about the lead man & indeed probably the first time I can recall a feeling of couldn't care less about whether he went "all star" or had his testicles removed with a rusty pair of tin snips and died a slow death for one of your characters.

What happened to the scout? Now he had the base set down to be an excellent story!

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Not temple of doom. It was the scene where the nazi bitch drank from the wrong cup...

Liked the story btw

Yeah not a bad tale, l enjoyed it, and, she did get hers. Also the stupid baseball player got his as well. They both deserved their shit sandwiches.

Jenna was the lucky one in all this, though l really don’t know if Evan is so lucky……

Score 4/5

Another home run (pun intended).

You quoted the wrong Indiana Jones movie.

the ending was sooo sooo wimpish! might as well have taken her back and raised his kid like a good cuck!

Very good, as could be expected by Hooked.

"Richard... uh... what would be the chance... I mean... you're alone, I'm alone. I know I screwed up once with the greatest guy any woman could ever ask for. But I wouldn't make that same mistake if you would give me a second chance. I can promise you that."

/

Me: Of course she won't make the mistake of cheating...who would want to cheat to a woman who looks like 50-yr-old grandma to her own child.

/

Me again: The stupid female was trying to worm her way again for a financial security for her and hoping the ex-husband would raise and accept the financial burden of raising the child of the man she cheated her ex-husband with. Nice try stupid female.

/

Thanks Hooked1957. I am always assured that I won't get cuck stories from this author, because;

I hate cucks stories.

Another great story, H! Thanks!

It's always a good day when we get a story from Hooked in LW. Traci seems to be a slow learner, but it's fun seeing her suffer when she makes poor decisions. Good job!

A class read. Closer to real life than many other contributions.

There was nothing redeeming or even particularly interesting about this. It was well written for what it was, but formulaic and predictable. The characters never change. Anyway, it was ok if you've never read any of Hooked stories before. I wish you'd try going outside your comfort zone though.

Interesting, though predictable storyline and characters. Unfortunately too many characters some of whom were really not necessary so contributed to confusion/distraction. 3 stars at best.

A tale of two sluts. One woke up and pulled her head out of her ass and, fortunately for her, her man still would have her.

The other slut was just a deranged, self destructive and self centric piece of garbage that was well worth being rid of.

Interesting and entertaining read.

Hoo, that ending had me worried for a second. But otherwise, 5-stars! Hooked is starting to become another one of my go-to authors behind Saddletramp and qhml.

-JMFC

Traci don't want kids, so her husband have to get vasectomy? Why not her? Because if it's her, you can't show that that she messed up by getting pregnant from cheating. Unfortunately at the same time, it made the husband look pathetically stupid. Unless it's irreversible, he should have been able to move on properly.

That ending too, it made him look wimpy rather than kindly.

And that Evan and Jenna side story is distracting. Would work if it's longer.

Good one Hooked. You had my blood pressure going up fast at the end but you had Richard hit a grandslam and win the game.

I did enjoy the story and all of the baseball stuff. 24 is kind of old for a hot prospect and I don't really think the Jenna and Evan stuff enhanced the story much. But thanks for another good story.

Good story over all. Compared to most of what we get in this genre? This IS Tolstoy. Life and karma have a way of doling out ample punishment and justice to those deserving of it. And this story did a good job describing that. The wife and despicable ball player got theirs.

She'll be a single mom for 15 more years...having to live in the city where her ex-husband is the successful mayor and attorney/power broker. She'll never have much. Especially once the ex-husband stops paying her alimony. Child support and whatever she can make out of a career.

The ball player's career is over at the hands of the construction worker. If he is lucky then he'll accept it without depression and substance abuse...and he'll find work as a hitting coach somewhere and make a decent living. But nothing like the contract he would have signed after his rookie deal. Even a .275 average player who hits for power (30 plus home runs per year) and who can play defense...would be locked in for at least 7 to 10 million a year plus incentives with a multi year deal. He blew it big time all to get some married pussy. He'll have to live with that. And if he is coaching? He'll have to watch less gifted players come and go, living the dream he never got to fully realize. That's torture.

And the ex-husband/mayor? He's single 3 years after. But c'mon. That's because he doesn't trust yet. My guess is...within another 2 or 3 years...as many meetings. Lunches. Dinners. Mixers. Catered affairs. Conferences. That he is required to attend? As a successful and relatively handsome man? He comes into contact with literally dozens of potential single women every single month. Between the ages of 30 and 50. The larger Pensacola Meteo area has to have hundreds of thousands of people living there. He's the mayor of a the largest city in the metro area. His photo is in the newspapers probably at least 3 times a month. He IS well known and highly respected. Women notice this. He'll meet the right woman sooner or later in his social circle. She'll have her own history and they'll work out their trust issues together. He won't be single forever. That's just the way it is with successful, attractive people. He'll be happy again.

Especially after his encounter with his ex-wife. It was probably the closure he needed. She oozed regret and unhappiness. And he he confronted the option of being with her again...stared at her right in the face and said "nope" and walked away. Closure and moving on.

Good story.

Well written as always. Good honest realistic story, thank you.

Great, well-written, plot- and character-driven story! LOVED the hard right turn at the end! 5++/5!!

Mac - you and others like you are what is stupid. What is wrong with enjoying a story simply because you enjoy reading. You act like a teenager 'tagging' a story, opinions are like assholes and few would care to see either.

Again Hooked, you are one of the writers that people love to read. Thank you for your tales.

somewhere east of Omaha

Sorry gave up after the second page. To much moving around maybe page breaks are needed. Just not my cup of tea

A great day, Hooked AND JPB stories. Loved them both but a slight edge to you Hooked, you had Randi editing. Thanks to all three - you made our Sunday!

somewhere east of Omaha

Jenna and Evan contributed nothing to the story why write them in. Still a good story.

Hooked, I really like seeing a submission from you, but this time it was a fail.

Boyd oozed confidence as he swaggered up to the plate as the third batter of the inning for Pensacola.

With the bases empty and one out, Boyd ran the count full, then took a 96 mile-per-hour fastball over the wall in left field.

How can he be the third batter if there is one out and no one on base?

His short brown here showed no sign of graying, and his regular time spent at the gym gave him a toned and somewhat muscular physique.

Did you mean short brown hair?

Traci was the well-kept wife of a successful attorney for the first 11 years of the couple's marriage, before the lawyer decided a little more than two years ago he needed to become mayor of the small city in which they resided.

Richard knew his wife was a major flirt and had the goods to back it up, but he also trusted that her flirting was just that and nothing more. From time to time during his 10 years of marriage, he had his doubts, but every time he did some checking, Traci had come up innocent.

Richard was 31 when the two married.

OK, first it was 11+2 or 13 years. Then it was ten, which was it?

Evan wasn't born yesterday, and he knew what he was looking at. He was unsettled, but as she sat in the stands thinking about it, he realized that neither he nor Jenna had ever made a commitment to being exclusive. When Davie exited the ballpark, Jenna practically jumped into his strong arms and the two got into Davie's new Porsche.

They came out of the restaurant holding hands, then each got into their own cars and drove to Davie's house. When did Traci enter the picture?

I like the ending

Well written but so overflowing with cliches it was a struggle to force myself to see if you actually went with anything original but you didn't.

That is really too bad, because clearly you have writing skills but you seem stuck in the same box with the majority of writers here.

His wife was written in such a way that A) No one could give the slightest shit about her and B) making her such a self centered twat hoping to manipulate the reader to get where you wanted them to be, but couldnt by using your writing skill.

This gem proves my point ""I'm going to head back to Miami for a few weeks, stay with Davie. We'll be back in October. That should give you time to figure things out," Traci said.

Im 100% correct in my assessment of this story. The husband was written well but the rest was tired old cliches and manipulation. The easily amused BTB crowd will see this as a great story, but they have set a low bar.

Dang! Yet another 5 for Hooked1957. Well written, good story flow, and a bittersweet ending. Here's hoping for a vasectomy reversal and a good, fertile woman for the Mayor. Traci's situation, her fate, is reminiscent of another Traci's in another Hooked1957 story, his classic "The Thunderbolt."

"Two weeks later Traci was sure she had missed her period." - I agree with Powersworder. When BOTH partners are sure they never want children, yes, a vasectomy is less invasive and makes sense. But when it's the woman, she should get her tubes tied, for exactly the situation we see here - if she gets a new partner, she still can't have any children, where if he gets a new partner, he'll still be able to have children.

P.S. I love Tolstoy and I obviously got the parallel.

I really appreciate your efforts. Thank you!

Very interesting to have a story told on several levels. For me it was well designed, the protagonists and their behavior was understandable and the stark contrasts of how the lives of several people develop when the wrong or right decisions are made. Entertained me very well. Thanks for that!

Liked it, kind of odd, the girl that just wanted to jump Davie's bones because the sex was great found true love with Evan and saw Davie was a dead end. Traci went into the affair thinking it was harmless flirting and lost everything because she wanted to trade 'DOWN' from Richard to a flash in the pan ball player who hadn't yet made it to the majors. And why if the sex was only a few notches better with Davie didn't she see it was because it forbidden, forbidden only last just so long. I could see Richard taking Traci back but only as a FWB. Never as a wife. He might even get attached to the kid who was innocent in all this. Besides it would be poetic justice if the kid thought of Richard as the father figure and Davie as just the guy who paid the child support. All that money for child support and still rejected by his son because he wasn't there. Even better if the kid made it to the majors and gave all the credit to Richard because it was Richard that took him to his little league games and played pitch for hours with him and was his biggest fan, rooting at his school games and college games as he grew up. Karma baby.

Tired of the bs by women, the men who break up marriages never get what they deserve. Couldn't stand to finish it.

Helluva story

About Jenna, if a girl is fucking more than one guy at a time, she’s not wife material.

About Traci, if a woman asks you to have a vasectomy, run.

Bases loaded......WITH KARMA! Sweet!

Karma's other name life's a bitch as another author (s) said. Good story and I enjoyed jtwheels

Excellent story Hooked. Well written and very believable.

"She chose poorly," he thought to himself as he slightly changed a remembered line from the movie "Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom."

Umm...actuallly...that was Last Crusade.

Sorry, couldn't resist the impulse.

Good story. Well told. Different, and enjoyable.

Thank you

Whew! For a minute there, I thought Richard was gonna let me down! On a hopeful note, in these modern times, many vasectomies are reversible. I’ll never understand it though, kids or no kids is one of the most important discussions a couple can have BEFORE they get married. I’d like to see Richard shake this off and meet that younger woman who must be out there given his station in life. He gets the reversal, or sperm harvesting at the very least. Who cares if he’s 55 and she’s 30? He still has a realistic shot at meeting his grand children, the first one anyway.

A slightly different twist involving a baseball star in the story. It was well done from start to finish. not much to add other than thanking you for your submission.

Another good one from Hooked. A bit uneven at times…like the Jenna sideshow an$ tne lack of any real insight into the person David was.

.

But Traci got what she deserved in tne end….and praise Zeus that Richard did NOT take the bitch back in the end.

.

4 ****

What a great story! Hooked has punished the cheaters completely, and given a realistic outcome for the betrayed husband. The irony of the punishment was that Davie lost his bright baseball career cheating on the cheater. The bitch Traci lost her husband, her lover, her looks, and got stuck with the last thing she never wanted. A child. One of the best Hooked has done in a while.

Was it really necessary to include so much of the Evan and Jenna romance?

Hooked has a fabulous imagination and writing. Five stars

Not a bad effort. It feels like you made changes after Randi edited the story, there are simple mistakes she doesn't make. Always run the final draft past your editor if you are going to use her name

Decent overall, but Richard's character was a contrived sham. How is he this dynamic far sighted self sacrificing successful politician, but he can't find a decent woman to share his life with? Do you know that politicians are as appealing as jocks to many women? Do you know vasectomies can be reversed? Do you know how many virtuous single mothers are available to a decent man who wants a real family?

Richard was a putz when he agreed to the vasectomy. Knowing she had that kind of power over the dumb shit, why not fuck around with a Greek God boy toy? The only thing surprising is that Richard was surprised. Traci was a shallow selfish arrogant bitch from the moment he met her. Richard got exactly what he married, and deserved.

You can type whatever words you want, but it doesn't make sense for Richard to be so forlorn and lonely. That ruined an otherwise excellent story.

Thanks for the effort.

WOW! Never would have expected that ending, lol. I was setting here listening by my TextAloud text reader and was saying, "Noooooooo"! Then? The happy ending. "Fuck off and die bitch"! hahahahaha EXCELLENT! 150 BIG STARS!

Well written and I liked that he had a subplot going with the other couple. You don't see that often in LW stories. 5 stars from me.

Superb story and all very real and believable, beautifully written. Thank you.

Good story, sort of a slice of life. Are the other couple, Evan and Jenna, going to feature in another story sometimes?

.

I notice that someone else also caught the "Chose Poorly" mistake, definitely from "Last Crusade". Didn't disrupt the story at all, nor mar my enjoyment of it.

I always read Mr 1957's stories, just to see what a new Traci has done.

Just for Mr Brooks: tubal ligation is easy in some cases, but a vasectomy is a simpler, easier and cheaper procedure.

Some commenters said that, right up to the end, they were afraid Richard would take Traci back, but Mr 1957's male characters never do that.

Good plot, nice writing, good conclusion. But for some reason the style did not engage me.

Good story!

Thanks for sharing.

Don't really understand what Evan and Jenna had to do with this story, their sub plot went nowhere. And that line is from Last Crusade, not Temple of Doom.

Well done; 5*. Good characters, well developed. Pensacola isn't that big, and Traci is a semi-public person. Does Jenna find out what happened to Traci and get a clue?

Nice. 5 stars

One thing I thought dumb was why Traci did not get her tubes tied to make sure she did not have kids. Instead she had her husband get a vasectomy. I know it is supposed to be less traumatic for a vasectomy but still it WAS her choice... Words of wisdom for any young man out there whose wife says she never wants kids but wants him to get snipped instead of her.

Good story. I'm glad he didn't take Tracy back. No self respecting man can overcome such a betrayal. 5* (signed ML)

I believe that's what I said, that a vasectomy is easier. My more pertinent point is that when it's the woman who is more definite in never having children, then a tubal ligation ensures that barring a reversal, she won't have children even if she is in a new relationship, while a vasectomy prevents him from having children if he's ever in a new relationship.

Great story, but sad

Saw one comment where the person seemed more involved in the math than the story WTF! Must be a retired math teacher. Great story.

Why is it that these women so often have no trouble betraying their husbands but getting an abortion is out of the question? Or even adoption? They clearly lack morals regarding their marriage. I'm surprised it wouldn't apply to children as well.

I really like this author. But I wish the husband could have been happy in the end. Maybe remarried. The vasectomy reversed. A couple kids. I get that this is more realistic but it's sad to me. I also don't understand how Traci would feel no guilt for what she was doing. I mean none? Finally, he knew she was cheating and allowed it to continue! I NEVER understand that in these stories. Why not try to stop it right away and save the marriage? I could never sit back and let an affair continue. I don't get it.

Not temple of doom the line is from the Last Crusade

5-stars & Favorite.

Yes, Tolstoy.

This was a very well written story.

With a good solid plot.

But ...

We can't change the cards we're delt.

But we can do the best with those we have.

Richard didn't.

He was brought down to his knees by a slut.

Nothing in this story suggests he tried to get back on his feet.

In his personal life.

And that's what I don't like in this story.

4 out of 5 from me.

Just have to comment:

On page 3 Indiana Jones quote is from Last Crusade not Temple of Doom; as stated in this story....

I thought that was going RAAC at the last minute there...

Good story, enjoyed it and the mirroring of Davie's conquests.

A couple of nitpicks:

She chose poorly - I thought that was from The Last Crusade. (I never liked Temple of Doom so couldn't quote anything from it)

Richard was still paying her alimony - I thought there was a clause that he would stop paying if she shacked up with Davie... obviously he didn't get that through and retain that shred of dignity even.

Just goes to show, flirting is harmless until it isn't. Especially when it's done by an entitled woman who thinks she can have her marriage and a boy toy on the side.

Liked the story.

Tolstoy? Really?

Good story line. Trying to write the emotions of the opposite gender is difficult, , but for the most part, you did it well. I was worried you were going to make the kid Richard’s, glad that didn’t happen. David was well written as an immature, conceited jock who ended up getting just what he deserved, as did Traci!

enjoyed it, 5 stars. creative changing perspectives, it was disorienting at times but pretty good.

Richard and Traci ending was fantastic.

Need a bit more on Davie's ending, he flew under the radar a bit after his career derailed. At one point you made him excited about the baby and the next, Traci is a single mother. It was a bit of a discrepancy.

I liked Jenna and her response to Davie but I wanted to see Jenna make a bit more effort for Evan. He didn't extend an olive branch, he just have her the whole tree. That was probably the weaker part of their story.

The fact that Richard was dumb enough to get snipped dropped this to 4 stars for me tbh.

Other than that, this is a great story.

yes yes yes the self entitled bitch got what she deserved karma is a bitch well written story enjoyed it 5* for me well done

Hooked would seem to be impudent and foolhardy to invite comparison with the writer whom many believe to be the greatest novelist of all time. Surprisingly, Hooked survives the exchange.

I was relieved at the end that Traci had not thrown herself under the wheels of a train, like poor Anna Karenina.

In fact, Hooked has done Tolstoy one better in his portrayal of the MC, Richard. Tolstoy portrays his MC, Karenin, as a cold fish. But if Karenin is doomed to lose Anna, at least he gets to keep his beloved son. Here, Hooked ups the pathos quotient by making Richard deeper and more sympathetic than Karenin, while denying him offspring and leaving him a bleak ending.

Should we start referring to Hooked as Lev?

8 weeks later Richard received a check and a letter: "Dear Richard, what you said to me the last time we met got me thinking. Until then I didn't fully realize what I did to you and seeing your hollow look made it even worse. I know saying sorry doesn't help anyone but I want you to know that I never stopped loving you. Unfortunatly my love was overlapped by selfishness and lust and some other not so good characteristics. But I want you to do something, not for me but for you. I want you to take a vasectomy reversal and I hope for you it will be successful. Then I want you to find a woman you can love and loves you equally and start a family. I hope that will bring back the shine in your eyes. Enclosed is a check. I know it won't cover the full expenses but I want you to take it as part of my penance. I saved this money for my own expenses, not from my sons. I hope you will be happy again soon. With all my love, Traci"

*** romantic kitsch off ***

I gave it 5* specifically because he didn't take her back. I've known three different men who got snipped because their wives didn't want children, while I was in the military. All three wives eventually cheated and got knocked by their bf, the divorces were swift but really painful for one guy because she got part of his retirement (married 16 yrs). The two younger ones got it reversed but only one was.sucessful. So yeah guys do a lot of "dumb" things for love. I got snipped after my third kid was born. One of the best decisions I ever made. I was divorced after 21 hrs of marriage (only 19 yrs 7 mo in the service) coz the ex had a mid-life crisis and she got 35% of my retirement. Turns out she's bipolar :-D Karma is a bitch!

A fitting outcome for all. It’s a good story, would be helped by getting inside the characters’ heads and playing more with emotions.

One thing nags at me: if the man doesn’t want children, he can get a vasectomy. It’s on him to ensure his preferences. If a wife doesn’t want children, it’s on her to have her tubes tied. Richard was a fool for getting a vasectomy at her request.

It was a good read. And how much better Traci's life would have been if she'd had an abortion-you don't love the children you don't have.

Pretty good, until the end. What a wimp, sissy Richard was... He must wanted to taste a man's cum out of his wife's cunt.

The closing line was just the right touch.

...but am scratching my head over the inclusion of the parallel story of Evan and Jenna. This substory adds nothing to the basic plot other than confirming the immaturity of the studmuffin ballplayer. I don't think Stella growing up and getting her new groove with Evan is contributes anything. Did the near simultaneous birth of the Evan/Stella baby and the Traci/Davie baby have some significance that I am not smart enough to glean? Why is this filler in a tale written by an author known for a concise, tight plot? Oh well, nice story, Hooker.

Keep 'em comin'.

Ok story, but why are the Richard and Ewan so passive? What kind of man watches his wife walk into a restaurant with another man and do absolutely nothing about it, flirt or not? At least walked over and introduce yourself and see whats going on. And when Ewan saw Jenna at the game alone flirting with Davie, why didn't he confront her? Yes, they hadn't talked about being exclusive but this might have been the time. No, instead he just folds and walk away...

Why didn't anyone tell Richard vasectomies are REVERSIBLE?. Also, did she know he always wanted children? If so, why did she marry him knowing she didn't want kids? And why did he marry her knowing she didn't want kids? I'm just a little lost. I'm not sure if the writer spoke on this. If this wife was fully aware of her future husband wanting kids, deceived him into believing she wanted them also. Waited until they've been married a few year's to demand he gets a vasectomy. He shouldve divorced her then cause it proved her to be a deceitful conniving bitch. And he's an idiot for getting it down. Marriage isn't built on just making one spouse happy. Marriage is about making EACH OTHER happy. They could've used condoms or she could've gotten on birth control if she didn't want kids. Or she could've just gave that man a child. She claim she love him and want him to be happy. 🤭🤭🤭...She loves that he loves her. She loves herself. Her actions throughout their whole marriage, leading all the way up to the divorce says it all. She's a selfish, self centered slut. Don't marry someone who likes to flirt and thinks flirting is OK. Flirting ALWAYS leads to other things. It's disrespectful to your mate. It was only a matter of time before this wife started going beyond flirting... he's a fool for not seeing her flirting as a red flag. Why didn't the writer make Richard move on? His life sounded sad and depressing.

I don't feel the emotions here at all. It looks like a summary of a story, reporting the hard facts and that's all. 2

Ok. This story could have been titled”;A tale of two sluts!”.

The only thing we don’t know, is if slut #2, ever cheated on her boyfriend, once she became exclusive. I remember a couple years ago, I was taking my 4 runner and boat, to get gas after being detailed. They were both red, and shined like they were new. Two different woman, one on the way in, one on the way out, gave me the “ look” . They were both in cars, with their guys. I am thinking both in committed relationships, and both were ready to cheat, at the drop of a pin. And neither one of them, would have given me a second look, if I was driving my 2009 Fit. It is unfortunate, that so many “ modern woman”, are only a life support system for their pussy. As outlandish as this story was, I am sure it happens to married women, every day.

5 stars.

Sorry but I think he is a very insecure guy almost if not a wimp.

He did the right thing walking away from that woman. She is misery, infidelity and selfishness rolled into one.