All Comments on 'Deep Dive Ch. 03 - Working in Pairs'

Awesome job once again. From my POV stands above most stories in terms of potential. Only feedback I can think of: I feel like the story vs smut scales could benefit from being tipped a bit more in the story direction.

Honestly this story is amazing so far. It's a shame there is not a lot more comments or views because as a previous commentor has expressed this stands so above other stories in terms of potential. I would encourage the author to continue. If the author is feeling off-put by a lack of engagement I ask they reconsider this stance. A lot of the tags this story covers may not be the most popular but definitely for myself at least, it hits the right spot in terms of the kinks I like to see in a gender bender story. So please continue hope to read from you soon again.

For this being your first story you made some very smart choices for your setting. A virtual reality game by design has its own nice structured plot points which many new authors fail at.

It was funny, I actually wanted to know what if any easter eggs were found in the game. The fact the main character is progressing in the game also manages to keep the character grounded which is hard for writers who just throw away the original character because they're more interested in what the character has become.

Seeing him react to being actively seduced is a great cultural observation and hits a fantastic tone in the story. And having Veronica describe what she saw as she actively aroused the main character was extremely hot.

I'm interested to see how the game evolves as well as what choices are made once the main character can change things.

Also, for a long term plot, what happens when he can no longer afford to play the game? Will she invite him to play other games? Will this game get him addicted to a certain level of pleasure?

Lots to explore and found this to be an enjoyable read.

While this chapter doesn't do much storytelling, it certainly has some deep character development. I am loving the submissive/dominant vibes you are putting out there.

It is subtle enough to not really overwhelm the story, but just enough to really get me interested. Good story.