All Comments on 'Deep-fried'

The story line itself was actually pretty good but it was rather hard to follow. It wasn't clear who the girl was talking to at first and at one point you switched from uncle to cousin.

You kinda wrote the main sex scene itself well and drew a vivid picture when you got into your grove but again your writing is just a little all over the place. A translator and/or an editor could help you tremendously, so I can only give you a 2. Otherwise, you might have gotten a four from me instead.