Deep Guilt: I'm Not a Lesbian

To my readers,

This audio contains 5 previously unpublished stories detailing Lesbian encounters between Nikki and Candie. The start times are: 0- 9:11- 19:54- 28:21- 37:55 Enjoy!



The purpose of todays article is to connect my wife's lesbian relationship at the beginning of our marriage with her most cherished lesbian partner in this series. These fantasies revolve around the character of "Nikki", a blonde sexual dynamo, who is in fact a surrogate for "Kathy". In real life, Kathy was Candies first and longest adult lesbian love. Their relationship together lasted at least 7 1/2 years. She says they only had sex 3 or 4 times but that is wildly inaccurate. Their first time together occurred in the weeks before we were married, but she claims to have been with Kathy the Saturday of the finger fucking / licking episode 2 1/2 years later. How could anyone believe this accounting of 3 times in 2 1/2 years? In Candies own words, "we were together every Saturday". I would put the number of sexual encounters at closer to 80 during that 2 1/2 year period.

It is remarkable how closely her sexual episodes with Kathy follow Candies fantasies of the lesbian sex she relates in her stories. In real life the sessions always began at Kathy's apartment with a glass of wine, or some other form of alcohol. The wine freed Candie of her inhibitions and made her feel guiltless in doing what she wanted and needed to do. The wine was a prerequisite then and is still required before sex to this very day. Before the activities began they would freshen up, put perfume on their private areas and don kimonos that were worn before and in between the different sex acts performed. The sex always started with the girls making out and French kissing. This is very interesting because before she met Kathy, Candie did not French kiss believing it to be unsanitary. Her lust for Kathy quickly changed her mind about this. She now loves the erotic sharing of pussy juice.

The make out session quickly led to the fondling of breasts, the sucking of nipples and slow intimate caresses of their pussies. As their passion built, they moved to the bedroom, where they took turns eating each other out. Once their vaginas were sufficiently lubricated they would get in the 69 position and lick and finger each other until both achieved orgasm. The crowning moment of this first act was a deep French kiss during which their sexual juices would be orally exchanged and savored.

After a brief intermission to freshen up, have a little more wine and watch some girl-girl porn the second act would begin. The girls were always tender and caring with each other. The kissing and caressing always gentle and sprinkled with erotic talk. Kathy was drawn to Candies asshole and would intimately lick and finger her. An act to which Candie responded by pulling her knees up to her chest to give Kathy better access to her ass. Candie at this point could not yet bring herself to reciprocate in licking Kathy's ass but would use a dildo on her instead. Kathy had a variety of dildos available which they both put to good use. A dildo up their asses while they ate each other's cunts to another massive orgasm, followed by a cum swapping kiss was the grand finale of the day.

That was their typical Saturday together and I'm sure you can see how deeply these memories are imprinted on her psyche. Candie has been fondly reliving them for the past 15 years every time she creates a fantasy involving her and another woman, especially Nikki. I don't know what is preventing her from admitting that she is bisexual but she was clearly in love with Kathy for many years. I do not fault her for having these feelings for her best friend. If her mindset requires her to find pleasure and emotional security with a woman then let it be so. I do not feel threatened by her desires. However, her denial of any such feelings is beyond my capability to understand.

As you listen to the audios there are a few items you should be aware of. The making out, breast caressing, nipple sucking, genital fondling, eating out, 69 and post orgasm cum sharing kiss should all be obvious from the beginning. This was how her normal lesbian encounter progressed. The final audio, which is her most confessional to date, includes some interesting statements which Candie has never made before. It was recorded in the beginning of June 2021. In the audio Candie and Nikki are having a session while watching a video of Carter Cruise.

Let me take a moment to sing the praises of the remarkable talents of Miss Cruise. She is pure perfection. Gorgeous breasts with pierced nipples, a beautiful pink clit, pussy lips and hole. And a mesmerizing asshole that she can gape open and quickly close at will. The moment Candie saw her ass in action she was overwhelmed with lust for her gaping asshole. She said it was the hottest thing she had ever seen.

In this latest audio the girls are actively engaged in foreplay and Candie states, "Nikki says you've gotta have an orgasm a day, to keep it nice and moist and then it comes real good. Experimenting with different things..... We take turns trying to perfect the orgasm". I was amazed at this statement. It has been 15 years since I have heard those opinions expressed, and those words were said by Kathy. It was her personal mantra on how to keep herself sexually satisfied and she said it often. And here that opinion still exists in Candies memory. Sometimes truth can be stranger than fiction.

The next new ground covered is Candie saying that she and Nikki "were like best friends. Because we could do things on the outside too. Like going out to dinner or shopping. We like shopping." This is the first time the relationship has gone from the porn set or an apartment to a public place. the reality of being with Kathy creeping into the fantasy. And finally, at the end of the audio, when I ask her to tell Nikki she loves her Candie says, "I don't love her I just like having sex with her!.....I love to fuck her and she loves to fuck me." The perfect place to end this discussion, with Candie being unable to profess her love for Kathy despite all the evidence to the contrary.

Denial rules her life and she is powerless to overcome it.

Enjoy the audios,

Steve