Deliver Us From Evil Ch. 01

Dwight: "But here's the new wrinkle: we think that while one car is being used to hit a store, the other is being used to make a drug transaction. The robbery gets the attention, and the drug deal is not noticed."

"Asking the obvious question," I said, "why do they need to bother with the robberies at all, if they're doing so well with drug operations?"

"Spending money, maybe?" Dwight asked. "And I'm not being facetious when I say that. But to answer your question, we don't know much of anything about this gang."

Claire Michaels asked "Are these the same guys as the ones up here? Or are there three separate gangs at work?"

"We don't know that yet, either." said Stevens.

I said "We can make an 'edumacated' guess, though. The gang up here disappears from time to time... so maybe they're in one of your two districts down there. And it may not be the exact same people, but they all may be part of one criminal organization."

"That would explain why they disappear for stretches at a time." Claire said agreeably, practicing good asskissing skills.

"Having said that," I said pensively, shaking my head a bit, "this whole drug narrative just... doesn't fit right. Maybe it's not drugs. Maybe contraband, such as guns."

Jack Muscone groaned. "I would really hate to get the ATF involved in this. They still have a few too many Swamp Frogs embedded within them."

I said "It's just a thought. We can call it 'drugs' until we find proof it's not. And we could probably use the Federales's help, such as with their advanced Kaleidoscope algorithms that can spot stolen car tags in live time."

"Okayyyy, if there's nothing else," said the Chief, "I'll leave you guys to work out the dee-tails."

"I need to do something, also." I said.

"Before you go, Don," said Jack Muscone, "I wanted to ask you something. Ashton Cardigan told me you'd accessed the Louella Hopper files recently. What was that all about?"

Tanya's eyes widened in surprise, and I heard Teresa quietly groan. My gray eyes locked onto Muscone's beady black peepers as I said menacingly "How did you know about that?"

Jack tried to be undeterred: "Like I said, Ashton Cardigan's group noticed the access of our files, and asked me about it, so I'm asking you."

"So you're spying on me? The FBI is spying on me?" I said, and the room was suddenly totally quiet as everyone seemingly forgot to breathe.

"No." Jack said. "Like I said---"

I didn't let him finish. My voice rose considerably as I near-yelled "Police access millions of FBI records, but you notice what *I* am doing? And then you claim you're not spying on me? Really?"

Jack said "I'm just asking to see if I can help with whatever you're doing---"

"I DIDN'T ASK FOR YOUR HELP! AND I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP!" I thundered. "Mind your own goddamned business! And stop spying on me!"

With that, I stalked out of the room. When I got to the anteroom of my office, I told my assistant Helena French "Hold all my calls. And no visitors except the Sheriff, Chief, Cindy, and Teresa." And with that, I went into my office. It is possible that I used a wee bit too much force in slamming the door shut...

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

7:30pm, Tuesday, July 12th. The Council meeting was sparsely attended. Mayor Allgood led the Pledge of Allegiance, which Councilpersons Carnes, Silas, and Adams made a point to sit down and not recite. Councilman J.P. Goldman made a motion, seconded by Edward R. Steele, to censure the Democrats that refused to stand for the Pledge.

The censure motion passed 6-5 on a straight Party-line vote. In a short comment afterwards, Edgar Silas said that such Republican shenanigans were the reason why 'fair representation' needed to be implemented with regards to the Council.

The reason why there was no audience? Because the Council went into Executive Session to discuss the promotions and medals package submitted by Our Sheriff for August 1st implementation. The motion passed by voice vote, and the Council Members went upstairs to the private Council Chamber. Also in attendance were Sheriff Griswold, Chief Moynahan, Fire Chief Davies, Acting Public Health Officer Gupta, and Your Iron Crowbar.

Mayor Daniel Allgood tapped his gavel and said "Let's begin. We're in Executive Session to discuss the Public Safety promotions and medals package. And this one is bigger than some in the past. Sheriff, would you brief us on the package?"

"Thank you, Mr. Mayor." said Sheriff Griswold as he came up to the podium at the end of the table. "Medals-wise, we don't have a lot. The Fire Department has three Achievement Medals. We also have Police medals for the winners of the Triathlon and the Police Boxing Matches---"

"Giving medals away like candy again." Susan Weston said, rudely interrupting on purpose.

"It's years-long custom to make those awards for those accomplishments." growled Griswold.

"Doesn't mean you have to keep that custom." said Weston. "Why don't you award them a more appropriate recognition, such as a Certificate of Achievement?"

I raised my hand and the Sheriff called on me. I said "We used to award the full Commendation Medal, but in deference to your complaints, we've had to reduce it to Achievement Medals. I'll also remind you that since I rewrote the Charter, Achievement Medals no longer need Council approval."

That earned me a massively dark look from Susan Weston. The Mayor asked the Sheriff to move on.

Griswold: "The current structure calls for a Superintendent at each Fire Station, and Battalion Chiefs for the Fire Battalions that are deployed amongst those Stations. We're not intending to fill the positions just now, but we want to double the allotment of Superintendents as well as Battalion Chiefs."

"Why?" asked Edward R. Steele warily. "You don't have the equipment to go along with those allocations, nor the money budgeted for them."

"True." said the Sheriff. "It's a structural change, to allow for potential expansion in the future. They can be allocated and budgeted as needed in future Budgets."

"Chief Davies," Sheila Sorrells said, "the Sheriff is not adequately explaining the need for these positions. Would you try to explain why they're needed? And why now?"

Chief Davies said "We are anticipating future expansion, and we want to be ready. By having the increased number of positions approved, we can move quickly to fill them when the time comes to do so. It will also create their positions in the Official Inventory List, so we can make submissions to the Assembly in future Budget cycles."

"I'm not seeing this at all." said Susan Weston.

John Colby spoke up: "I'd like to make a motion to separate this from the Promotions and Medals bill, which needs to be passed now. We can study this Fire Department structure over time, that being the next few weeks and months before the Budget battles heat up."


"I second that motion." said Edward R. Steele. "Just to keep the Promotions and Medals from being held up." The vote to separate the bill and send it to 'Committee' for study passed 9-1. Kelly Carnes reiterated her promise to never vote for a positive action involving the Police Force as long as I was part of that Police Force.

"At least it's in the hopper." I said to Fire Chief Davies, who nodded in spite of not being happy about it.

"What else, Sheriff?" asked Mayor Allgood.

Griswold replied "Just one more thing, as Steve Jobs liked to say. We have four Senior Detectives in the Police Force, the last relic of the old Merger structure. I want to do away with the Senior Detective position, and promote those four officers to Lieutenant."

"Oh my God." Susan Weston exclaimed. "First you want to give away medals like candy, and now you want to give away promotions like candy."

"Why, Sheriff?" asked Malinda Adams. "And will women be filling these new positions?"

"They're not really new positions." growled the Sheriff. "Crowbar, would you come up here and explain this to them?"

"Yes, Sheriff." I said, getting up and coming to the lectern. "As background, when the Town and County were merged, the Public Safety ranks, at least the Police, were structured more like the Military than most civilian Police Forces. In the Army, CID investigators are Warrant Officers, with Officers above and Enlisted below. When the TCPD was first established, Detectives were made to be like Warrant Officers and outranked Sergeants, which is not how it is in many Police Departments."

Me: "When we restructured the Police Force, we put the new Detective ranks amongst the ranks at Sergeant and below. But we did not demote anyone, and the four Detectives that were already above Sergeant were kept there, as Senior Detectives. In order to clear out the Senior Detective rank, we'll promote those four to Lieutenant and give them duties commensurate with their grade and position. It also gives us, the Police Force, some flexibility for potential expansion and other changes."

Susan Weston: "So you're doing away with the Senior Detective rank? It will no longer exist?"

I said "It'll be on the books, but no one will be at that position anymore, and it's likely it will never be filled again. We have a rank of 'Major' in the TCPD, but it's not used, either."

Kelly Carnes said cattily: "The Police used to have an unfilled rank called 'Commander'. And then, in the worst decision in TCPD history, then-Chief Griswold filled it, and it's been a disaster since."

"Disaster for the criminals, fer sure." growled the Sheriff.

"Disaster for your ex-husband, too, Mrs. Carnes." I said as a reminder to Kelly Carnes of who she was up against.

Susan Weston said "Why don't you just put those four Detectives back to the current highest Detective rank...Detective Sergeant, I believe?"

I said "For the same reason we didn't demote them before... because we can always give more, but to take away creates enmity. Demotions should only come as punishment, and we're not going to punish those four excellent Officers for no reason."

"I really wish Reginald Lewis were here." said Edgar Silas. "So you'll be dispersing these new Lieutenants to the Precincts?"

My reply stunned them: "Not at this particular time." As all of them, even the Mayor and the Republicans, gasped as they looked at me, I said "Having them as Lieutenants does give us flexibility for future expansion, which was in the back of my mind when I proposed it. And it's the right time to clean some stuff up."

"We've been having to clean up your messes for a long time, Troy." Kelly Carnes said hatefully.

Malinda Adams said "I never got an answer to my question, Commander. Will women be filling these new positions?"

"Like the Sheriff said, they're not really new." I replied. "And Joanne Warner is a female... at least my wife said so when she delivered Joanne's baby." Not even a chuckle at that; everyone was too stunned.

Susan Weston said "Won't those four have to take the Lieutenant's Exam, and pass it? Can that even be done by August 1st?"

"They've already taken the Lieutenant's Exam." I said. "And they all passed."

Oh yes, those four 'experimental' exams I gave them were anything but. They were the real thing. And all four of my Detectives passed. I held up a file folder that contained their exams.

"Well, this is certainly going to be a very interesting discussion." said Mayor Allgood. "If you guys want to go, we'll begin debate."

"Before you go, Commander Troy," said Susan Weston witheringly, "would you tell us why you haven't filled the Internal Affairs leader position? Especially since Commander Orosco had been filling in as the EMT and Public Health IA, as well as that of the Police?"

If she expected me to be taken aback by the question, she was going to be disappointed, I thought to myself. Out loud I said "We're still looking. It's not easy finding the right person for it. We are---"

"In other words," Kelly Carnes rudely interrupted, "you haven't found a yes-man to do your bidding."

"Watch yourself, Carnes, or I will sue the living shit out of you for slander." I replied. "As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted and falsely accused, we can use now-SBI-Director Wes Masters as someone of the integrity of the candidate we are seeking. And since we have the Inspector General's Office to handle any pressing issues that come up, we have the luxury of taking our time to find the right I.A. person."

Susan Weston said "Then you need a fire lit under your ass." To the others she said "I'm going to move that we lay these promotions on the table until the I.A. leader spot is filled... and approved by this Council..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

It was nearly midnight when Edward R. Steele called me, and gave me the rundown: "Susan Weston's motion to lay it on the table was defeated by a 6-5 vote. But let me tell you now, Don, I think that's something you guys need to get resolved quickly. Even my fellow Republicans and especially the Mayor think that's something you should not be letting the grass grow under your feet about."

I said "And considering that the Mayor once was our Internal Affairs leader, I can understand that. So what about the promotions?"

Edward said "There was surprisingly little debate about it. The Democrats knew they couldn't get past the tiebreakers, so they didn't try very much. As to the vote, Kelly Carnes voted against because she's fulfilling her stated promise that she will never vote for a positive Police action while you're on the Force. Susan Weston whined about giving out promotions like candy, and also voted against due to the I.A. issue."

Edward: "Sheila Sorrells voted against, but didn't give a reason other than vaguely saying she didn't really understand why you were doing this. We, meaning me, J.P., and John Colby, think it's because Sheila and D.A. Miriam Walters are friends, and this is tit-for-tat over Miriam's lawsuit against you."

Edward: "Malinda Adams voted against, because she said three men to one woman being promoted was sexist and possibly illegal. Dagmar Schoen said they were promoting the existing Senior Detectives, not new ones, but Adams said they should promote at least as many women as men. I then said if it were an even number, Malinda would gripe that it wasn't all women being promoted, and that's when the fight started... well, not really."

Edward: "But the shocker is that the vote was 6-4 in favor of the promotions. Edgar Silas voted with the five Republicans. The other Democrats were shocked and demanded he explain himself, and he said that he thought it would lead to dispersing the Detectives to the Precincts. You and I, Don, know that's not the case, but I think Silas has worked out the real reasons you are doing this..."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

11:00am, Wednesday, July 21st. The second reading of the bill had occurred at the previous evening's Council session, with the same 6-4 vote to approve. So I convened a meeting of Captain Michaels and all her Detectives and their leadership in Classroom 'E'. Also attending were Chief Moynahan, Commander Tanya P. Muscone, Lt. Commander Teresa Croyle, Sheriff Griswold, and Chief Deputy Cindy Ross.

I also made sure the four Senior Detectives sat together. So when the meeting got going, Claire Michaels and I stood up to face them, keeping our faces solemn.

"I have an announcement." Claire said loudly. "We are doing away with the Senior Detective position. And that means that the four of you who are Senior Detectives now... will no longer be."

The room grew silent as everyone looked at us in shock, especially the four Senior Detectives. But one sharp-eyed person in the room noticed Sheriff Griswold's mustaches twitching merrily, and made the correct deduction.

"Fee! Fi! Fo! Far!" said Lt. Micah Rudistan with great joviality. "I smell a sneaky Iron Crow-bar!"

I couldn't hold it. I laughed out loud for several seconds. Claire grinned, as did the Chief. Then I said "Mr. Rudistan is correct. You will no longer be Senior Detectives... because on August 1st, all four of you will be promoted to Lieutenant!"

Joanne squealed loudly, and all four of them leapt to their feet and high-fived and hugged each other as everyone else in the room applauded... some more vigorously than others, I noted.

Then Teddy Parker said "But... don't we have to take the Lieutenant's Exam? And be interviewed?"

I said "You've been interviewing with me every day you've come to work, for years. And yes, I am a sneaky Iron Crowbar. Those experimental Lieutenant's Exams I had you take... weren't. They were the real deal. And you all passed."

Roark Coleman raised his hand and said "Sir, what does this mean for MCD? And for the rest of us?"

I said "It means you should not aspire to become Senior Detectives, because it is my intent that we never have any more of those. In fact, that position existed only because these four were grandfathered in when the rank structure was changed."

Me: "But I understand what you're asking, and this doesn't really change anything for the rest of you. Okay, I need to see everyone ranked Lieutenant-to-be and higher in the Main Conference Room. Sheriff, Chief Deputy, and Chief Moynahan, you're welcome to stay, as well. The rest of you, get back to work."

"We'll stay here." said the Sheriff, meaning himself and Cindy.

Everyone cleared Classroom 'E'. Once we were in the Main Conference Room, the four Senior Detectives (P) sat down on the near side of the table (their backs to the wall with the door, facing the wall with the windows), the Chief at his end of the table, Commander Muscone between them, Captain Michaels at the other end, and the rest of us on the far side of the table.

"Congratulations again." I said after we all sat down. "I need to talk to you about a few thing relating to your promotions. First of all... for most of you, and you that are already Lieutenants, this is likely the last promotion you will ever get in the TCPD."

"Unless you run for Sheriff, and win." Teresa said. Everyone laughed politely.

"True." I said. "And that's not a negative on any of you. We only have six official Captain positions in the TCPD: Captain of Detectives; two Precinct Captains; Personnel & Records, which is currently unfilled; Captain of Physical Properties, which is currently unfilled; and our senior Chaplain."

Me: "You won't qualify for the Chaplain spot unless you go to Seminary. You'd probably need to do what Commander Ross did and go to Graduate School in Accounting in order to get the Personnel & Records job, which may be getting filled soon, anyway. I'll be shocked, shocked! if you want to go from being part of the best Detective group anywhere to being in charge of Physical Properties. Captain Michaels is a young whippersnapper that I don't think is going anywhere, anytime soon; and your three Detective Division leaders will be remaining in place as well, at least while I'm here."

"Until I go on maternity leave." Mary Milton said.

I quickly replied "Yes, but you'll have your place when you get back, so don't any of the rest of you get your hopes up." Everyone laughed, then I said: "Additionally, Chief Moynahan is a young whippersnapper, and none of us named 'Commander' will likely leave soon, touch wood."

As I touched the table, Chief Moynahan said "You did learn good asskissing skills from the Sheriff, Mr. Crowbarrr." Everyone burst out laughing.

When that calmed down, I said "I just want you to be aware that as things currently are, you're probably... where you are. And that ain't a bad place to be. Having said that, there are possibly going to be opportunities in the future, and we'll talk about those as they come along. The 1st Precinct Lieutenant slot is open, for example."