by Xantu
You write well, your story is well told, your editing is very good for this venue, you are consistent and do not lose your story to tangents. I am glad to have started reading you, and I will 'till I run out of your stories. Then, I will check back in on occasion to read anything new. Thank you for your quality work and I wish along with my great enjoyment that you could find some monetary reimbursement! Thanks again, Lynn
Blah blah blah, not much sex. Who cares?
This story is fantastic. It's at the same level as Slave to the Servants, with the richness and depth of the people and culture you've created. I have nothing bad to say about it. You're a wonderful storyteller.
Very slow story development. Not much sex. Although the precision of rituals and behavior of the tribesmen, enriched with odd language is very inspiring. I get lost in this weird world, because the writing is very good. So thanks, I liked it very much.
Good work,
With a little work, your story is good enough to get a publisher for printing. Of course it is a little graphic, but with your creative fictional culture/language your work can still find a good shelf in a B. Dalton or a Barns & Noble. Hell, I've read more risky material in a romance novel(don't ask). In any case, finish your work with this, get it proofed and find a good publisher.
Ha'ak Bai Tak Twisted dagger. Twisted dagger, broken arrow, what next? Straightened bow?
How do you manage to come up with such novel ideas? Still a mystrey. Maybe you have a magic of your own.
A simply brilliant peice of work. Keep going.