by sidarth_pandey
Can't you write anything else,this is becoming so boring
fukin lame ... indian chick /women fucking around ... ???? this is like next to impossible... .. thay are so tstuck up with the moral issues.... and loads of other stuffs .. so fukin lame .... LMAO OTF ....
But it is NOT as good as it could be! First, most of the readers will not know a 'holi' from a 'holiday!' Or a 'desi' from a 'design!' There is probably some significance to 'colors' but what?
Then, Sweety's sister drives Sweety's six-year old a hour away to spend the night at one of the Sister's friend's house ??? because he comes in and asks - what is that (on several counts!)???
The 'seduction' is a curious dance (makes one wonder why India has such a large population!) of stop and go!
Indian females are never easy to achieve. In such cases they'll start shoutin for help. Ur story was as if she was only a fuck toy. Grow up man. Write somethin which will feel as if it'll happen in reality...
I put my mouth on her boobies and smelled them
What kind of sentence is that?
Dear Sid,
You are a good writer smooth and short. Business like. I am a bit verbose and round about type. Well we Indians are generally vague and go in a round about way. Of course, objective is the same. You know what I mean.
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Malini is a KEEPER. Period. Malini is a KEEPER. Period. Malini is a KEEPER. Period.