by brunorivera
and i said: learn how to write this style is just shitty i dont usually rip on others but this was horrable. i mean the she said: lets dance then he said: ok . it just dosnt work.
Boy, that's a hellova office environment you created there!
I really wanted to like your story, but it just didn't have the flow that most stories had. Next, get an editor and see if that helps a little. But great effort, though!