All Comments on 'Despair to Light'

It all worked out in the end!

5

Good story. 5stars

You've given us the outline.

This could be a very good story with a bit more character development and more detail and background.

My big question is why you've published it under novels and novellas? It would be better suited as a flash story (in its current form) under loving wives.

Please accept my comments as constructive criticism as I believe you have a writing talent.

It had all the elements of a good story without any type of soul.

3 stars - your writing is getting more 'serial romance style', where you change the setting and a few details, but use the same characters over and over and over again.

I'm glad I found this story, although you didn't exactly make it easy. I agree with BlackJackSteele that this belongs in Loving Wives (where I definitely would have found it). You did a fairly decent job with tags, but including at least "divorce" would have helped the people who enjoy this type of story to find it.

The story would also benefit from an editor, proofreader, or even just a beta reader. I can overlook most grammatical errors, but there were a few things that just left me pondering what you meant. One was this line: 'She walks away saying, "She's hurt I don't want her."' I can ignore the run-on sentence aspect, but it doesn't really make sense to me, especially in the context of the paragraph you included it in.

Another one that made me stop and puzzle out what you meant was 'Theresa's dad asked, "What did I propose to do?"' This didn't make any sense as written. Since it was supposed to be a direct quote, you had her dad asking what her dad had proposed. The (presumably) correct quote would have been, "What did he propose to do?" since I'm pretty sure he was curious what her soon to be ex-husband had proposed.

So, I encourage you to keep writing, but to also put the necessary effort into the polishing it deserves.

Good story, could use more detail, emotions , fatten it up a bit, don’t you think? Overall, not bad. Many folks like to see karma in action, consequences, just a suggestion for next time.

Novels are usually more than two pages. This should have just been put in the Loving Wives category.

LW story outline. Not your usual effort.

I feel like something missing to covet the start and ending of this story.

Nice story.

This was hardly a novel. More like a short short story. 3*s

Third person narrative boring.

Yeah, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but she is a rebounder, I mean like Sir Charles Barkley. Not that there's anything wrong with that, no just be prepared

Author, although I’ve only read a few of your stories, it seems that all the women are stubborn to their husbands but weak to seduction from others. There is always some excuse for their actions and never a real empathetic regret. I give this three stars only because there is nothing between lower other than disliking it.

Wow, that was just kind of stupid. And generally just kind of poorly written. How does the "counsellor" change from a 'he' to 'she's in the space of two sentences?

Nylon these anonymous comments are from stupid readers or worse... I gave you five stars ....yes this one was short but the MC was what most men want... the wife was over the top crazy but they are always fun when they act that way.