Destinee and Destiny Ch. 01.2

Relieved, a took a deep breath before nodding. "Thanks. Did Joey say anything about... um," I lowered my voice. "About the suits that tailed me? Were they all feds?"

He glanced around the empty complex hall before shaking his head. "Only two. He's still looking into it, but I wouldn't concern yourself." He walked off and I slipped back inside, locking the door behind me. The tension in my body left in a whoosh as I darted for my room. Destinee was done in the shower, so I paused briefly. "Hey, I'll be in my room for a bit. I'll be back out in like half an hour."

She grunted in acknowledgement through the door and I closed myself in my room. Feeling more nervous than I'm comfortable with, I eyed the package for a minute before steeling my nerves to pull open the packaging. In my shock as the contents hit the bed I nearly shouted, forgetting how thin the walls were, "Jesus fuck."

Romanov's gift was a bottle of the very same Oval vodka we had drank together. Out of curiosity I had done a google search on the stuff at some point, the bottle itself is covered in 7k Swarovski crystals glittering at every inch and angle. The price -- around seven thousand dollars too. To me it was ludicrous, paying seven thousand for something you'd get to drink a few times and then feel guilty about for years, but to each their own, I guess.

The other part of the package, the severance, had been wrapped around the bottle like bubble wrap. Except instead of fun, cheap plastic that pops, it was actually another million or so in various bills. Sure, it didn't pop, but it was definitely way more fun. I really needed to open a bank account or something, carrying this much money around or even trying to keep it hidden in my room was just plain stupid.

Another idea occurred to me. My mom was still paying off student loans from her master's degree, credit cards, etc. maybe I could 'waste' some of my reserve and make their lives more comfortable. If I didn't do something it was eventually going to get to my head, there's only so long that one can resist growing too flashy for their own safety.

For now, I could at least keep to my makeshift safes. I just had to be careful when accessing them so that I didn't piss off Destinee if she found out I drilled a hole in the top of the door. Really it was a genius idea, thank you internet, drill a hole in a door, get a metal tube, stuff your shit in said tube, and just make sure you install a lid you can grab.

I had dozens of other hidey holes too, but it was getting so excessive. The Oval vodka was another issue entirely though. I mostly understood the significance behind his gesture, but there was just no way to explain that one away to the wrong eyes.

I sighed as my conscience decided to remind me that I wouldn't be having any of these issues if I kept to the straight and narrow and hadn't consorted with drug dealers, cartel, and worse.

*****

I hadn't realized just how exhausted I was from all the excitement today. I only hit the bed for what felt like a minute, when a knock at my door suddenly startled me awake. Groggy and disoriented as only brief naps can masterfully achieve, I jumped up and unlocked the door.

I realized I was getting way to comfortable for my own safety as I was caught off-guard for yet another time. I had expected to find Destinee, but instead found Zach's mess of blonde hair covering one of his blue eyes. The other eye was glaring at me in annoyance for some reason.

"Oh, hey Zach, what's up?" I tried to sound friendly, but half-asleep I'm not entirely sure how successful I was.

He glanced back down the hall to the living room briefly. "Destinee wanted us to talk. Sorry if I woke you up. Can I come in?"

I nodded and stepped away to take a seat on my bed. He was slow to follow, an anxious chill hitting me as he closed the door behind him. My fight response kicked into overdrive before my mind could catch up, reaching for the gun on my hip that wasn't there anymore. Luckily, he missed my reflexive action and stepped a few feet away to face me.

"So, Brandon, I want you to just listen for a minute. Destinee told me all the stuff about you two as kids and whatever. I tried to keep my cool with her, but honestly it makes me sick to my fucking stomach -- not that I blame her for any of it. You were two years older, taking advantage of your own little sister's crush on you. That's why I don't hold anything against her, she was just confused, you should have known better though. That being said, it was also like nine years ago."

I kept my face passive as I listened, but my blood instantly began to boil. Who the fuck does this guy think he is? It went far beyond a passive effort just to keep myself under control and not interrupt. The real issue was, was he even wrong? In the idiocy of youth, I had only seen it as teaching her whatever about boys she wanted to know -- within limits -- but I was her older brother. It was my job to protect her. Had I been taking advantage of her somehow?

He had no idea of the mental war he suddenly inflicted on me. Especially given the current feelings I was struggling with. He continued, not missing a beat. "I don't like you. I don't like you being near my girlfriend. However, she's so thrilled that you're back in her life that there's nothing I can do about it without hurting her. So, I want you to leave and act like it was your idea. I can't stop you two from talking and hanging out occasionally, but at least if you live somewhere else, I won't have to worry about you trying to sink your sick, perverted claws back into her."

Wow. Just wow. I was at a loss for words. He ended the mental debate at least. Now I just realized he was a freaking judgmental douchebag. I didn't even realize I was off the bed until I was suddenly towering over him, meeting his glare. I didn't swing at him or anything violent, I had better control over myself than that. Even as tempting as it was. I had to talk through gritted teeth.

"My turn to talk, Zach. I'm not even going to talk about what happened nine years ago, me and Destinee both made mistakes -- together, not just one of us. Yeah, I screwed up, but I've owned up to my shit and am trying to make it up to my little sister. She loves you. Therefore, I don't want there to be any animosity between the two of us. I don't care if you hate my guts, if you love Destinee, we need to find a way to get on or act like it for her sake if nothing else. Dude, she hasn't had those feelings for nearly ten years. Don't you think it's a bit late to start playing the douchey-jealous-boyfriend card?"

He matched my glare just as fiercely, not backing down despite the half foot and double width I had on him. "Are you seriously that stupid, man?"

Both my fists flexed on pure reflex. Anybody who knew me knew that I hated being called stupid. It was worse than a pet-peeve. Kind of like how calling some people a coward just pushed them over an edge they couldn't come back from. "Be very careful what you say next," I warned through a clenched jaw.

Much to my surprise, he suddenly lost all bluster with a deep sigh as he finally backed down. He took a step back and shook his head. "You both grew older, but in some ways neither of you grew up. Since you got back Destinee has been walking around on cloud-nine, picking fights about things with me that she would've laughed off before, talks about you every other minute... Not to mention how you look at her."

Shit. His words hit me all at once, even though what he was saying was hard to swallow. It couldn't be? I was fighting those feelings, partly because she was with Zach and partly because I knew how wrong those feelings were -- and equally as impossible that she still felt the same way.

"You're wrong." My voice sounded pathetic even to me though. All my puff was gone, I sunk back to my head, rubbing my forehead in my palms.

"No, I'm not. I know Destinee. She hid behind her anger for a long time and convinced herself with lies, but I don't think she ever really got over it. Over you. What you did to her, or what you allowed to happen, however you want to see it... Now do you see why you need to go? Nothing good can ever come out of it. You'll both just end up hurt. I'm good for her though and I love her. Sure, we're not perfect, but nothing ever is. With a little more time, I think she'll realize she's in love with me and finally be able to get over her unhealthy obsession with you."

Wait, unhealthy obsession? Sure, she had a crush on me, maybe thought she loved me once, but even she had said she was past it. Something about this just wasn't adding up. For a brief moment I tried to push down the feeling sorry for myself, the confusion, the guilt, and look at this from a different angle. Destinee was only just starting to get comfortable around me again, I'd always been able to read her like a book. If she still felt those things, I would recognize it, I think.

Maybe this was some ploy, some test. If he wasn't just being honest and was actually being a manipulative jealous boyfriend, what would be his angle? "Zach, maybe you're right. Honestly, I don't know. You're wrong though, I would never try anything on Destinee no matter how I felt. I even think I met someone. Besides, even if you were right, it wouldn't matter. Have you actually tried talking to Destinee to see what she thinks about all of this and what she wants?"

He flailed for a moment and I was awash in a newfound sense of purpose. I slipped past him and opened the door before he could say anything, "hey Destinee? Can you come in here?"

"Sure." She quickly bounded down the hall to join us, slipping past me. She took one look at Zach's upset grimace and then turned back to me questioningly. "Uh, what's going on?"

I shrugged. "Zach apparently thinks that you never got over your feelings and are still 'obsessed' with me. I want to put this to bed and get everything out in the open so we can all be on good terms. I think the best way to do that is just to lay all of our cards on the table, all three of us."

Destinee's face froze with confusion, her gaze darting back to her beau who hung his head sheepishly at being exposed. "Zach—" she said softly but didn't move from her position between us.

After a long, pregnant silence he finally lifted his head with a steely expression. "You know what? Brandon, that's a great idea. We all need to find the truth. I want you to be honest with yourself for once Destinee."

She turned back to me pleadingly. I didn't want to put her through this, but I knew this was the only tangible way to get everyone to find peace. No matter what she felt or didn't feel, it wouldn't be fair to her to be the only one singled out. I sighed, turning my gaze to the wall so I wouldn't have to meet her gorgeous, pleading gaze.

It was time for honesty. God, facing your feelings sucks. At least as a runner I had all the power, occasionally I was scared but the rest was just fun and constant uncomplicated sex with strangers. "She's not the only one who needs to be honest with themselves. Zach was right about one thing, at least."

I could feel the scarlet creeping into my cheeks as I spoke to the wall. Both their gazes were burning holes in the side of my head. "Destinee, when I came to the apartment the first time, I told you I ran because I thought it had been too long and that you hated me and stuff. That was only partly true. I realized- I realized that even after years of not seeing you, I had strong feelings for you. Ever since I got back, it's only gotten worse. I've been trying everything I can to get them out of my head because I know those kinds of feelings could only hurt you again. I just got you back, I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that no matter what I feel."

The room went dead silent and I'm pretty sure the fucker got a major ego boost from the fact that he was right. I glanced his way to check, but instead he was pale and staring at Destinee. Feeling absolutely vulnerable, my stomach twisting sickeningly, I followed his gaze to her face. She was almost as pale as he looked, tears fighting their way out of the corners of her eyes. I couldn't tell for the life of me what feeling was behind those tears though, it looked hopeful, afraid, devastated, happy, sad, and everything in-between all at once.

Thank god guys generally have the emotional range of a teaspoon compared to girls. Whether that's due to a one-track mind or whatever. I think that many emotions at once would make my head explode.

"I- I can't. Please don't make me do this. If either of you care about me. I love you, Zach. Don't ruin this, please."

His gaze was still iron-clad though. "No, baby. Bottling everything up because you're too afraid to let yourself feel is unhealthy. I love you and want to be with you, but I refuse to always be second to a childish memory."

I suddenly wanted to hit him again, but this time it wasn't for me. Destinee looked like her heart was breaking right before my eyes. I don't know what kind of emotions she was battling or bottling or whatever, but she looked like she was genuinely about to pass out from the stress or something. Pushing someone to their breaking point was beyond a dick-ish move, it was cruel.

He shrank under my glower as I stepped up to her, wrapping my arm around her shoulders. He was smart enough to shut up, or I really would've hurt him. She was an unmoving statue in my embrace, except for her body shaking slightly. "Destinee, it's okay. I told you, I just want you to be happy. This all started because of me, and I'm sorry I made things so complicated for you. I won't ever force you to do something you don't want to, answers or whatever else... Give me a few minutes to get my stuff, I'll find somewhere else to stay for a little while."

As gently as possible, I eased her out into the hallway and shot a look at Zach. He nearly sprinted out of my room and I closed and locked my door. Everything important like clothes and toiletries were packed within five minutes, but unfortunately it took a lot longer to go around un-hiding all of my stashes. When I finally opened the door and freed the last of it, Destinee and Zach were still the hallway.

The fucker was just standing there looking annoyed, not bothering to comfort her or anything else as she sobbed into herself and tried not to break down. I paused just long enough to kiss her forehead. "I love you, Destinee. No matter what you'll always be my little sister. I'm not running anywhere this time. You have my phone number if you need anything or want to talk."

I spun around to Zach, puffing out my chest and putting everything I had into looking intimidating. It worked this time as he tried to shrink against the wall. "This is your fucking mess. All I wanted was for us to find a way to get along to make Destinee happy, that's it. We've both had fucked up childhoods because of our dad and it left a lot of emotional issues. You claim you know my sis so well, then you should know you can't just bully answers out of people just because. You got what you want, I'm going. You be good to her or I will fucking end you."

I slung my massive duffel over my shoulders and headed for the front door, feeling rather hollow. I was in love with Destinee, my little sister, my best friend. Zach was right though, nothing could ever come from that. It would only hurt her in the end, and that was the last thing I ever wanted to do. Zach had been treating her fine before I came along and ruined it, so hopefully they'd be okay now.

It didn't matter how I felt or what I wanted. I was a big boy. Eventually I'd learn to live with whatever happens next. With a drawn-out exhale though, I'm still seriously debating running back and taking Destinee into my arms and kissing her. I pause at the doorknob, feeling the momentous weight of a significant choice in my life.

There's an expression about standing at a fork in the roads that everyone knows but people rarely grasp the full extent of the meaning. Well, I can literally see the fucking fork spread out around me. A life with Destinee as my friend and sister, a life with Destinee as two people in love, a life with Destinee and Zach that I'm barely part of, and a life without her entirely.

Suddenly, I've never been so sure of something or seen anything so clearly in my life. Zach is a dick. He doesn't deserve her. I'm in love with her. Hell, maybe I always have been. I just know I want her, no fuck that -- I need her like I've never needed anything in my life. I start to turn back around. I at least have to tell her before I go. I won't force her to decide, but she can know there's another option at the very least.

Her and Zach are both watching me as I spin back around. Zach's face drops as he sees the determined expression that I know is painted all over my face. Even Destinee seems to perk up the slightest bit. I can't help the sudden smile that hits my lips at finally doing what every girl has complained to me about my entire life -- I'm truly owning my emotions for the first time ever.

And then all hell fucking breaks loose.

*****

(If you've been reading my story and been thinking to yourself this whole time, 'yeah, right. A guy goes from being engaged, catching his fiancée with her brother, to the army and still acts like a simpering little girl emotionally. Then runs off to Mexico and joins the cartel after realizing he too has feelings for a sibling, only to basically get rich and have nothing bad happen to him except struggle with feelings for his sister.' I can't really blame you. Up until this moment, nothing truly horrible has happened to me and karma seems to be miraculously lacking from my story.

Thing is though, one cannot simply avoid karma forever. And some things, you don't just break free of without some serious repercussions. Well let me tell you, the next few days of my life, are an absolute fucking hellhole.

My karma starts with three utterly terrifying words when put together.

*****

In an emotional high from my epiphany, I'm too busy striding towards Destinee to hear the brutally violent cracking noise that sounds behind me. I don't hear it, but I feel the impact as the door splinters and slams into the wall, splinters flying in every direction -- some slicing against my arms and legs. I do see Destinee's face contort to a look of pure horror at the same time that a victorious grin emerges on Zach.

Someone shouts behind me, but I can already feel the guns aimed at the back of my head. Like I said, three fucking terrifying words screamed at the back of my head as destiny gives me exactly what I probably deserve. "FBI, don't move!"