Destinee and Destiny Ch. 01.3-4

I just want to thank you all for hanging in there with me so far. This is the true meat of this novel, and I poured everything I could into it, so I hope you enjoy! Also, I wanted to take a second to thank everyone who has favorited and taken the time to comment on this:

Anonymous user with 'my 2 cents' -- I know the chapters took a different pace then I led up to, but that's what I was aiming for. A lot of stories on here are far too short or rather cliched so I hope you enjoyed how everything came together! UltimateHomeBody -- I'm not sure what you even meant. In the earlier chapters it's revealed that Mikayla was screwing around with her brother, deducing where she learned the 'sudden skills'. Larry74403 -- hope you enjoyed how the story leads as well. Finally, TNDRIVER -- I know there's a lot of semi-irrational guilt above the norm going on, hopefully that'll be all explained in this chapter!

Thanks for your time, without further ado, I give you the chapter you have been waiting for! (Maybe :D)

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Chapter Seven -- Destinee and Destiny

My name is Destinee Avery. If you've been reading Brandon's story in order, then you already know that it's mostly about me. Brandon was taken into FBI custody last night, so I'm taking over writing until this... mess gets figured out. Before that though, I feel the need to clue you into the larger picture since all you've read is the ramblings of Brandon's innermost thoughts so far.

First off, I'm not some emotionally stunted little girl like he made me sound during the fight between him, Zach and me. I'll get into that in a second. For now, I want to do a bit of background since he just left everyone hanging.

Our father's name is Scott. Alec and Brandon were his first kids to BJ and then the rest of us to different women. Scott disappeared on BJ and her kids a long, long time ago. She ended up with this abusive dick-hole named Rick who beat the shit out of all three of them for years. Eventually they got away and Rick was arrested. He wouldn't like that I'm bringing it up, but I feel like this information is helpful to understand why Brandon has always had such trouble dealing with his emotions.

He was the type of guy who always bottled everything up until it got so bad inside that he had to run from it. Alec was the one who lashed out and ended up in jail. I don't know how Brandon didn't, to be honest, he was just always the strong one out of the lot of us.

Anyway, Scott wasn't a total dick to the rest of us kids, for some reason it was just Brandon and Alec that he neglected. He spent years trying to keep in contact with me and Kristen, and then just when we'd get used to him being around, he'd disappear for a year or two. It gave me a serious case of abandonment issues.

Of course, I didn't know about any of my other siblings except my little sister until I met Brandon and Alec when I was around nine. Brandon and I were best friends almost instantly. We did everything together, convinced our moms to let us visit every chance possible and for as long as possible. We played pretend games together and talked all the time. He was always so good to me. Alec had bullied him a lot growing up, so when he learned he had two younger siblings he finally had someone to dote on and who looked up to him.

(I can't go into much detail on when we were kids on here. To sum it up, as wonderful as his love and attention felt on a girl with class B abandonment issues, I quickly went from viewing him as a kind, loving brother close to my age to something else entirely. I was crushing on him, hard, even if he just saw me as his younger sister. He was always so loving with me and made me feel like some kind of fairy princess instead of just a trailer park kid with daddy issues. Then he met Mikayla and every time I saw him from then on, he was never fully in the room with me anymore. I was annoyed at first and clung to him even harder, but that day he took the phone call when I was over... I just lost my shit and you know the rest. We stopped talking.)

Oh, it wasn't easy. As mad as I was, I instantly regretted screaming at him and everything I said. If he would've called me and apologized, everything would probably be very different today, but he didn't and the idealistic fantasies in my head were shattered.

I made myself hate him, fought any lingering thoughts of him until he was successfully shoved into the back of my mind. I felt empty and hollow most days, but after a few years I moved on. I rarely thought about him except for a lingering torturous dream every once in a while, and I started dating a string of guys to try to feel something close to what I had before.

Flash forward to not long after I had just turned 21. I had my own apartment now, hadn't thought about Brandon in years, and was pretty happy. I knew from talking to Alec and BJ occasionally that he was coming back from deployment overseas soon and was invited to his welcome home party. The thought of seeing him again shook me to my core, threatening to resurge years of effort of squashing down those old feelings. I just couldn't do it.

Then he shows up at my apartment. I hadn't seen him seven years, so obviously I didn't recognize the walking mountain standing in my doorway. At fifteen he had been a dork, only just starting to gain a little bit of muscle from playing football, messy dark hair, hazel eyes speckled with gray, lanky, wore thick glasses. Now he was almost 6'3", broad shouldered, ripped from the army and football and god knows what else, hair clean-cut short, his eyes were the only thing recognizable.

Until I came to the door, confused by how this stranger knew me. Still, as I asked him what he wanted, a strange sense of familiarity tickled at the back of my head. His hazel eyes were wide and afraid, like he expected me to suddenly slug him or something.

"Um, actually, never mind. Sorry to bother you."

His voice was what finally made it hit me. This was Brandon. I hadn't shown up at his party and he came back for me. A feeling of such profound longing hit me that I moaned his name without even registering it. Shit, he hadn't grown up freaking gorgeous. His body palpably flinched as he heard his name and then he is freaking running so fast out of the complex that I was left gaping stupidly at an empty hall for a full minute.

All of the last seven years had been for jack shit. Not only was I not over him but trying to smother those feelings and try to hate him for so long instead of dealing with them made it feel like my knees were about to buckle. My entire body shook with desire. Even worse, Brandon thought I hated him. I had no way to try to reach out and talk to him. And I was in love with, hard. That's why no matter how hard I tried to focus on other guys, I just never felt anything for them.

(If you're a girl, then you'll understood why my thoughts instantly took on an even darker turn.) Or did he run away because of something else? We had both changed so much, did he think I was ugly now? Objectively looking at myself, I think I'm fairly pretty. Long legs, good curves, a bit small chested, maybe my nose is a little too pointy, but my lips are easily one of my best assets.

All of my thoughts pass through my head in maybe a second. I barely turned back to the apartment before my boyfriend at the time took one look at the expression on my face and we got into it. Usually I'm good at hiding my emotions, but there were too many too fast this time. He demanded answers I couldn't give which ended up in a screaming match and I broke it off and kicked him out.

For a few days, I malingered in my apartment in a daze of self-doubt and self-loathing. All I wanted was to call BJ so I could find Brandon and talk to him. But I was too scared. It took almost a week before I finally mustered up the courage to drive over to his parent's house. By then it was too late though. BJ told me he couldn't handle being back and went down to Mexico to 'vacation' and clear his head.

I waited. And waited. And waited. But he never came back. Finally, around a year after he had ran away from my doorstep, I stopped waiting. I met Zach and he was so kind and sweet that I couldn't help but feel something for him. It wasn't anywhere near what I felt for Brandon, but it was enough. Love for him was slow in coming, but I really do. We've been happy most days and get along great. The only real complaint I have is that he doesn't like to cuddle and has issues about spending the night because of it, but that's really it.

So, when Brandon showed up injured at my doorstep almost two weeks ago, I was actually able to be near him without feeling like I was going to go insane. After all I was finally a 23-year-old grown ass adult. Then he told me everything, and I admit that I was a little scared of the person he had become. It took a few days to realize inwardly he was still the same older brother I remember. I love Zach enough that I think we can be siblings again and I can finally work through my feelings.

Then last night happened. Brandon was still watching TV when I went to go freshen up. I thought I heard a knock at the door and tried to hurry up, thinking it was Zach here already, but instead Brandon went to his room for a bit. By the time I finished shaving and showering, Zach arrived, and we talked on the couch for a while.

He was still upset from our argument earlier that day, so I told him to just go talk to Brandon. They were in his room for a while, and I almost tried to sneak around the corner to eavesdrop but managed to resist...for a bit. Just when was too curious to stop myself, the door flung open and Brandon called me over.

Flushing a bit at almost being caught, I strolled in and asked what was going on. Zach looked upset about something and Brandon looked so pale that I was sure he was about to pass out. Whatever talking they had been doing in here, they definitely weren't becoming friends, that much was instantly clear. My heart dropped in my chest.

Brandon shrugged with a massive sigh. "Zach apparently thinks that you never got over your feelings and are still 'obsessed' with me. I want to put this to bed and get everything out in the open so we can all be on good terms. I think the best way to do that is just to lay all of our cards on the table, all three of us."

I fucking froze in panic like I was surrounded by live vipers. I always thought I hid my emotions so well, but apparently, I was an idiot. Zach knew, his sudden hanging head and guilty expression spoke volumes. I love Zach, but yes, I have been in love with my older brother since I was a little girl. "Zach—" I wanted so bad to reach out and hug him, but I was too afraid to move.

"You know what? Brandon, that's a great idea. We all need to find the truth. I want you to be honest with yourself for once Destinee." Fuck. Can't he see how much pain he's causing me? I've been trying so hard to deal with my emotions. This was not the right way to do this. My anxiety was quickly turning to a full-blown panic attack. It was getting hard to draw a breath; my vision was starting to swim with black dots.

"She's not the only one who needs to be honest with themselves. Zach was right about one thing, at least." Brandon turned to the wall as he blushed intensely. His words hit me like a fucking freight train at full speed. "Destinee, when I came to the apartment the first time, I told you I ran because I thought it had been too long and that you hated me and stuff. That was only partly true. I realized- I realized that even after years of not seeing you, I had strong feelings for you. Ever since I got back, it's only gotten worse. I've been trying everything I can to get them out of my head because I know those kinds of feelings could only hurt you again. I just got you back, I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize that no matter what I feel."

My panic attack still in take-no-prisoners mode, I had no control of the tears beginning to spill down my cheeks. He feels the same way about me? Even as devastated as I am, the thought fills me with a terrifying sense of warmth that sends a pleasant chill all the way down to my toes. The warm thrill also brings more guilt than I've ever felt in my life as I turn back to Zach. "I- I can't. Please don't make me do this. If either of you care about me. I love you, Zach. Don't ruin this, please."

"No, baby. Bottling everything up because you're too afraid to let yourself feel is unhealthy. I love you and want to be with you, but I refuse to always be second to a childish memory."

My heart was being ripped out of my chest and turned into dust before me. I was hurting him, and he was the one doing it. We had been going along great until he had to open this can of worms. I have no idea what to do. I finally manage to draw in a needed breath, and a sob ensues.

Thank god Brandon came to my rescue in that moment, or I really don't know what would've happened. He wrapped his arms around me, dwarfing me in his massive chest almost like I was a child again. Just as simple as that, my vision cleared, and I could breath slightly once more. The effect he had on me was inconceivable. Nothing had ever gotten me out of a panic attack that fast before. The gravity of what that meant made my body shake.

"Destinee, it's okay. I told you, I just want you to be happy. This all started because of me, and I'm sorry I made things so complicated for you. I won't ever force you to do something you don't want to, answers or whatever else... Give me a few minutes to get my stuff, I'll find somewhere else to stay for a little while."

While I was still sorting out my flood of emotions, Brandon suddenly let me go and led me into the hallway. Zach followed and the door closed. We stood staring at it in awkward, tension packed silence for a long moment before he finally emerged with a massive duffel. My sobbing intensified as what was happening finally broke through the muddled cloud in my head. Another panic attack almost hit.

He was leaving. He was leaving because he knew Zach and I loved each other, and he didn't want to get in the way. Brandon paused to threaten Zach to be good to me and walked towards the door. I was absolutely torn. I wanted to go after him. I wanted to stay with Zach and make it work.

My heart leapt when Brandon hesitated before turning back to me. His face was flush and full of determined and purpose, and love. The intensity of it washes over me. Before I can process what's happening though, the front door behind him bursts open. Wood splinters fly everywhere as six federal agents in body armor and terrifying looking weapons flood into the living room. Every weapon is pointed at my brother as one of the woman agents screams, "FBI, don't move!"

(So now you're all caught up. I told you, it makes a lot more sense when you know everything, not just his side.)

Nearly pissing myself in shock, I just happen to look over Zach and notice he's grinning so hard he may as well have just won an Oscar or something. I can't even begin to process why he would be grinning. Two of the agents grab Brandon as he drops the duffel and puts his hands on the back of his head. One pins his arms back and he's cuffed. Everything is happening so fast I can't even process what they're saying, and then they're suddenly dragging Brandon away and disappear outside.

It's like a light was suddenly clicked on inside my head as I turn back toward Zach, my stupefied expression fading as my entire body is flooded with a rage that I've never felt the like of. "You mother fucker." I swore I could see red as I darted towards him and slammed him against the wall. "What did you do?"

He paled at witnessing my rage for the first time in person, actually looking scared. He was only an inch taller than me and maybe fifty more pounds, but there was no stopping me right now. "Baby, let me explain—"

I cut him off, my words dripping with venom. "You felt so threatened by him that you called the cops on him? I trusted you! You turned in my older brother for something that wasn't even his fault!"

He finally found his balls, shoving my arms off his shirt to glare back at me. "Your brother is a sick fuck for taking advantage of your feelings when you were kids, but whatever. That alone would've been forgivable, but he's a wanted criminal, baby! The crackdown on the Mexican cartel is all over the news. They were even offering a reward for names. Just because he's your family doesn't make it right that he spent two years smuggling drugs and god knows what else for the fucking cartel. You weren't safe with him here."

I spat at his chest. "So not even just because you were jealous I may or may not have, but because they were offering money? He's my brother!" It took everything in my power not to hit him. My voice lowered into a flat warning. "You aren't safe here. Get the fuck out of my apartment."

His glare quickly faded to fear. "Destinee, you don't mean that. I love you. I know you love me. I'm sorry for hurting you by trying to make you face your feelings, but you needed to do it. Now that you have and Brandon is gone, we can really do this. I'll start spending the night, cuddling, anything you want. I—"

He had five seconds left before I lost my mind. I wanted to scream. I wanted to break down crying. I have no idea whatsoever what I want, but I know one thing at least. "Get. The. Fuck. Out. Right. Now."

Zach sighed before shaking his head. "You know what. Fuck you, Destinee. You're such a self-righteous bitch. Guys get blamed all the time for using girls, but all you do is use people because you're too afraid to admit to yourself how you really feel. Well, boo-hoo. You want to be with your brother so bad? Fine. I hope both of you freaks can make it work while he is getting ass-raped in prison."

For a 5'8" girl, I have always kept myself in the best shape I could. I ran a few miles once every other day, used to do track and volleyball in high school, and even did light weights once in a while. I wasn't a muscle-machine or anything, but pure rage can do something to a person. I was a bit scared of myself as my fist flew at him on its own accord, smashing his nose with every ounce of strength I had. There was a satisfying crunch as he squealed in pain like a girl, a torrent of blood quick to start flowing down his face.

The pain that hit my knuckles and fingers was muted by adrenaline or else I probably would've screamed louder than him. I definitely dislocated a finger, but it was worth it. His hands shot up to his broken nose as he cried out. "You fucking bitch!" He took one last look at me before finally wising up enough to leave.

Thinking he was gone, my other emotions finally won out over my anger. Overwhelmed, I sank back into the wall and dropped to hug my knees. Zach paused at the doorway to turn back one last time though, "you know what? You aren't worth this shit. I've been screwing your best friend Kyleigh since we started dating."

On the ground next to me, I just so happened to see a decently medium chunk of what used to be the front door. I picked it up and threw it at him, satisfied slightly as he squealed again, and it smacked against his chest. It wasn't enough to do any damage, but I was definitely sure he was gone for good this time.

I rocked against my knees and the wall for a while, while I tried to get myself back under control. My life had gone to shit so fast that I didn't even fully understand how it happened. I was in love with Brandon, and apparently, he had just as strong feelings for me after all this time. He was trying to fight his feelings because I was with Zach, but now Zach was gone and had gotten Brandon arrested. I wasn't sure whether to cry or laugh hysterically. Two weeks ago, I was just a normal girl living a boring life, just trying to make do.