All Comments on 'Destruction and Rebirth'

A bit different from the usual Soul stories but still utterly great, a sweet story with an interesting cast of characters and a happy ending. Loved it, 5 stars.

A long enjoyable read. Thanks.

Was the wife based on the personality of Donald Trump? Just asking.

Interminable story. He is an ass and not worthy to be a father; to abandon your children for seven years because they were teenagers acting like teenagers shows his utter lack of character. And trying to buy their love back with cars and houses is sad.

Decent Story. Good writing. I would have liked to see it much shorter. Half the length and it would score higher. I skipped number of paragraphs.

This was one of the best stories I’ve ever read on this site. Bravo!

Love it! Well done.

Great story! I'm so glad that I can get updates when you've posted new work.

This story was just brilliant. Thank you

This is way better than Cagivagurl's "Not a Chance in Hell" story posted yesterday(?).

Though it is I admit sometimes way too many scenes that isn't necessary but heck, I still held my interest to the end. Good work soul71.

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17 years with a despicable female like that I wonder how it feels like the story never delve on that. And I could probably understand what Nathan did when he dropped his children from his life for seven years even though I do think it was wrong. There are many ways one can make people understand all the hurt Nathan is coping but....it is what it is. Except for the ex-wife it all turned out well for the rest of the family.

Good story but the middle was just waffle.

Half a dozen pages would be about right, I ended up skimming the last 6 pages, nothing happened.

Not feeling it. After 17 years together the wife turns evil overnight? You made her a cartoon character and it hurts the story.

Excellent!!!! One of my top 3 favorite stories here on this site.

Like "From the Ashes" a great story that does not have to have graphic sex every second paragraph. I don't care what others may say or criticize. I like a good story and I got one. I still think "Ashes" was better, but this was dang good for My tastes. Thank you for writing and keep it coming My friend.

Brilliant story

very nice story and very good effort.5⭐

voluntarily separating from your own children, when they are mere manipulated adolescents is inconceivable to me, and does not do the main character honor.

very beautiful interracial romance, where you describe the respect, acceptance and understanding of others and their culture.

Thanks for sharing your talent.

A good effort, but it felt a bit like a 750 word story with a 10 page epilogue.

I can't help thinking that the break up of the marriage and Nathan's romance with Catalina should've been the main focus of the story. Reconciling with the two estranged kids was nice, but the final confrontation with the ex-wife felt a bit anti-climactic.

Good story and mostly well written. Towards the end, it got a little sloppy but I figured there was a little fatigue by that point. The story was about 4 or 5 pages too long. After the 4th page, it was like the same information being communicated in about 10 different ways. Some of it actually lessened your feeling about getting the kids from his first marriage back in their lives. If you're looking at this to decide if you should read the story, please do! But, when things seem to be a rerun of earlier scenarios, feel free to skim read!

Excellent story. At first I thought I was reading my life story just different nationalities. 5 stars from someone who has done this.

Half as long, twice as good…

Good story. Just a story with a happy ending and the good Guy definitely wins. Thanks for the story.

great story. Thank you for sharing it.

Good story, very entertaining read.

Good. Very good. Superb writing. Great characters. Couldn’t put it down. But…..

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The “Bitch” was a cartoon character. The total lack of any background info to help explain how and why she cheated made trying to explain her being nuts at the end impossible.

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Frankly, we waded thru 10 pages waiting for the confrontation to take place…and when it did it was superficial and trite. That stole a star from my ranking.

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4 very strong ****

Nice story liked it. The part with the ex was a little over the top and the end to short.

Just loved it...thank you.

A lot of words

Coming from you; yet, as with what ever you write, very enjoyable. This is what makes you so different from other writers on this webpage. I'm patiently waiting on more. Can I ask when we may hear more from the following stories; Akeldama, Broken, Maleficus, Mutation, Outrage, Separated at Ten, The Antisocial One, The Lover Camper, or The Tales of the Silver Wind?? All great stories. Thank you. Grouch6977

I think this could have been a four page story.

Excellent story! I have to mention, I've never known you to frequent this genre. You did excellent. Thank you. 25 BIG fucking STARS!

Very nice LW story. Thanks

Damn man..

Completely different to your usual stuff, brilliantly written, good flow.

Other than being a bit too padded, this was an excellent story. Im fairly certain you bitch slapped 99% of the "writers" here with this.

A good plot, nice story, good writing but way too long!

A little over the top with the Hispanic wife/mother/ family culture cliché. The plot just couldn't carry the way to long minutiae you made the read wade through to get to the end.

Gave you 5 stars, but some of the scenes could have be edited better.. I love a well developed story but sometimes I felt you just went on and on. The scenes with the ex-bitch were confusing. I knew what was going on, but it lacked the something you were trying to convey. All that being said. still a good story.

Not a bad story but could've been shorter. I enjoyed the beginning but not the 2nd half

I really want to like your writing. Unfortunately you spend inordinate amounts of words on minutiae that does not move the story forward while packing important items between lines. Like constant repeating of man hugs while packing the story of the daughter's abuse to..... well nothing. Just a gap followed by how angry he felt having heard what you are not writer enough to articulate.

11 pages of mostly repetitive detail with maybe, if one is generous, 3 pages of actual story.

2*

Enjoyed every word - well done! 5*

Hugs and kisses my friend

-Andi

Great story!

5

So good! Loved it from start to finish. Was nervous when the reconciliation started on page 5, didn't want anything bad to happen to anyone and I am so glad nothing did. 5*

Great job, as always!

Never been a fan of this genre, but I read it because you wrote it. I loved it as I thought I would. I felt like Nat was a better version of me.... same personality type, sense of humor, and beliefs. So I really connected with that character. While I would love to read more about the characters in this tale I believe this to be a stand alone. So, I'll just say thanks for sharing and I can't wait for the next story you write.

Short & Sweet "I loved it"

5 Stars🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟😁

Great job. I really like the longer stories, as the shorter ones always leave me wanting more. Can't wait for the next one.

latinx is a massive slur, went and found out why. Thank you! 5 stars just for explaining that alone.

I love your style of storytelling! It’s alluring and suspenseful, and in the end it’s satisfying . The eroticism is a major factor yet your able to weave it into a complex, full-bodied, spell binding experience! Kudos!!! 5 well deserved

Got to "seven years later" and had to comment. I'm supposed to sympathize with a sack of shit who abandoned his 14 and 16 year old kids because they were stupid kids? If you expected that, you shouldn't have included the bit where they went to his freaking apartment looking for him. the boy was in 7th grade. And his father threw him in the trash after one idiotic interaction. And if the explanation is "they knew she was cheating!!1!"

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Well, 1: how does he know that? When the final interaction occurred, they'd been separated for some time. The "boyfriend" could've entered their lives in the interim. And they could've been bullied into saying what they did by their clearly crazy and abusive mother. 2: I get that it sucks, but...what could they do? Their mother is crazy, and their father barely struggled with telling them to FOADIAF after one conversation. Sounds like a recipe for a seriously toxic childhood.

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But I'll keep reading. I just think this was way too abrupt and... could've been handled better. No rating yet, because I might be critical, but I'm not stupid enough to rate a story without finishing it... and I'm not a dick.

Okay, read further, then went back to reread. His son was "almost 14" and his daughter was "sixteen" ...I guess the "six years of child support" is his young son's four years to 18, plus his "beloved" little girl's two years to 18? That's still just four years, but I guess it makes sense.

But...yeah, after reading his heartbroken daughter's pleading conversation with him...and his incredibly hypocritical "worry" about the young boy he threw in the trash for seven years despite both his kids' efforts to contact the father they desperately missed...and reading his smug determination to reject and dodge all such attempts... it's going to take a lot to convince me this guy isn't just a piece of shit of a different kind than his wife. I suspect better editing (for instance to make the moments where he feels guilt or sorrow feel less mechanical and cold) might help.

Going to keep reading.

Sorry about the stream-of-consciousness chain of comments, but I read further, especially the conversation between the kids he froze out (Amber, Carson) and Alondra... and yeah, editing of the earlier sections for better empathy and less rote-feeling snippets of guilt and pain. Also editing to make the avoidance of their attempts to contact him seem less smug and cold, acknowledging the weakness he's demonstrating in doing so, even years later, when they were independent.

But he's not a piece of shit. He's just seriously not right in the head. (Said in Scottish accent from braveheart. Possibly best scene in that film)

El Yucateco Black Label Reserve Chili Habanero Hot Sauce must be the bomb. On Amazon it had 5 stars completely covered with over 1000 comments. Do not ever recall anything with so many hits that highly recommended. Not really into super hot but had to order a bottle. Just a slight dash I hope. Not getting the XXXtra hot just the regular.

Great Story as always thanks

That was a very, very well told story that really took me away. Sensitively told with believable characters and exactly the required amount of drama that really makes this work stand out. Would have fit in romance as well. Thanks for the work and sharing! N 5 * !!!!

That was a very, very well told story that really took me away. Sensitively told with believable characters and exactly the required amount of drama that really makes this work stand out. Would have fit in romance as well. Thanks for the work and sharing! N 5 * !!!!

A wonderful,well-written story. Althiugh long, the story read the s w csmoothly, without padding. 5 stars.

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Some minor.editing items: it is not "the Discovery Place", but "Discovery Place". You used the word "palette " instead of the correct word "palate" when referring to food.

I did get Nat going off and abandoning his kids, because that’s a common LW trope. But there was way too much middle, and at times it seemed that he was using his money to try to buy his kids back.

I skimmed several pages, and was still able to keep up; that’s a sure sign that the story is just too long.

Wonderful story! The slut finally got her payback when Nat married his REAL wife and his older children call her MOM. She also is their mother now, and don't try to hurt them, because mama bear will kick your ass. A continuation would be fitting, to show Carson and Rosa's future and Catalina and Amber ( her daughter)s new babies. Maybe the bitch would drink herself to death or Catalina will hurt her badly for abusing her new son and daughter...

Good story for a young man to see what kind of woman he wants and what kind he doesn’t

You are one of my favorite writers. Occasionally a little dark but always enjoyable.

Nice!

Really enjoyed this story

it feels like real life, and great story.

At least 2/3 of this story was filler.

Great story always your the goat !!!

Tell WAA01 were waiting those last two stories are great work!!!

You two are my favorite writers on this site

It was a good story at the start, but after the smoke cleared from the original drama, the last 9 pages felt like an extended epilogue. The climax to the action should be at or near the end of your story. You need to either shorten your story or inject more fireworks into, or around, the wedding. Thank you for sharing with us, I look forward to your next story.

2 stars. Could easily been 4 or 5, if the protagonist would have been given some self worth and pride.

Honestly this story was 8 or 9 pages too long, there was simply no depth to it which negated the need for it to be as long as it was.

This was a great story. I loved it and gave it 5 stars.

This was a very long story, I’m sure you could have done it with 6 pages. 7 years to see the light and not give his child a chance to explain.to stubborn for his own good. The bitch wife should have been put away after trying to get the daughter to spread her legs for her boy toys. This wife never should have been allowed to come to any wedding . That is why you do not get @5 th star.

I cannot understand the limp dicks who score it so low.

great story soul really enjoyed it

Wow. I hope the whiney commenters know this is fiction. Some of their reviews read like they are talking about a real MC. This was a good first story with a strong MC instead of a MC that just forgives everything and reads like a wimp. (Really not trying to insult you.) Unfortunately, there was quite a bit of filler in this story. Although the MC locked out his kids for 7 yrs, he did let them back into his life. Please write another story with a strong MC. Maybe with revenge to the characters that mainly deserves it.

P.S.: Please finish the story about The Silver Wind. That's my favorite story of your writing. Thank you for your time on it.

enjoyed this story but there again i enjoy stories that are a little longer than 1 or 2 pages well written 5+ stars for me

This needed an editor to clean out all the filler and keep it on track.

A dime a dozen story.

jesus another martian slut ray wife, another husband who finds a perfect woman afterwards.

Just a quick note to let you know I really enjoy your writing.

Also Ithank you for mentioning El Yucateco Black Label Reserve Chili Habanero Hot Sauce. I liked it so much I bought a case.

Thanks!

One of the best stories on this page. Excellent dialogue and fantastic humor written into the plot. 5* +

Decent story.

It’s like a hallmark story, but for guys 😬 5⭐️

Good story. But the guy is a prick. I'm surprised anyone would marry him and want to have kids with him. Your teenage kids said something stupid and hurt you? Uh, that's what every teenager does. Catalina should have had a conversation with him before marrying him about if he'd treat their kids the same way. I'm sure there are people like him out there but it's still sad that he missed out on 7 years of his kids because he took to heart what a teenager said.

I tried reading this, but couldn't get past page one. What kind of father would treat his kids that way? Clearly, the daughter reaching out is the only adult present.

And yet you clearly had time to comment on something you didn't even finish, weird.

3 pages in, I have some thoughts. Let's say these are my options and you, the Author, are very much welcome to disagree.

I was actually intrigued when MC's daughter treated her mom's infidelity like it was nothing. It's just sex, according to the siblings. Up until now we've seen everything that happened through MC's POV. That's the first time we get another character's view. Even if that character is a teenager. And that little conversation tells us that while MC did love his children, he never really had an active role in their upbringing. Because that would have instilled a moral code in the children that reflects their father's value. Then we see MC leaving his offspring, without second glance. This can be interpreted as his outrage or lack of care. But we know it's outrage. We also learn how he was always present in their lives, going to school functions and whatnot. This makes things more interesting as this means MC thinks he was a good parent, but he clearly isn't. He didn't work on his parenting. Maybe he also wasn't that much of husband? But we see MC leaving everything behind and starting a new life, went on to have no contact with his children for 7 years. All those potential I was talking about? Thrown out of the window. This character is so hurt that he couldn't talk to his children, but can supposedly marry AND ANOTHER child? And 7 years later when he talks to his children, they literally grovel for HIS apology? 7 years, no adults, let alone a father, would hold something a teenager said in a difficult life situation over their heads.

Skimmed through the rest of the story, all these problems MC has never gets resolved. And I'm not even talking about the felony he committed by that fund transferring. That's a legit criminal offence and any lawyer worth his salt would have figured that shit out. As I said before, this was my take on the MC. Either all of these were intentional on the author's part, which I sincerely doubt, or this story needed some serious editing, which it never got.

soul71

It's almost like they started it, didn't enjoy it, and thought you would like to know why. Crazy.

Started out as crap but got quite a bit better.

A great story of very believable flawed characters.

RE anon's comment how could a father leave his children.

Easily. You simply need to love them so much that when they betray you the hurt is unbearable. The more you love someone, the deeper the pain from their betrayal.

Also remember that hurt people do hurtful things.

So a switch flicks on inside him that turns his love into pain, so he can easily leave them.

Then over time, his resultant behaviour becomes a habit. So his first reaction when he thinks of his kids is to continue protecting himself by rejecting any thought at all about them. After all, in his mind, they are still a part of Team Bitch.

Love and hate are both merely different expressions of deep emotional feelings. They are not opposites.

Indifference is the opposite of love.

Apathy is the nemesis of love.

Just not caring about your loved one will kill a marriage as surely as adultery will.

Enjoyed the story, took about 1/4 way in to really get into it. In a few places I thought I was reading the "Marlboro Man", no offense. As it got to the end, I thought it dropped rather quickly and a few more paragraphs would have been good. Gave it 5 stars.

Great story. love it. AAAAAA++++++

<pedantry>

The heat in chilli peppers is contained mostly in the flesh and is most concentrated on the pithy, white connective tissue.

Just saying'

</pedantry>

PS have the story five stars - loved it.

Wow, this is one angry author.

A truly great story.

A long light weight story.

It’s a nice story. Hated the bitch but loved the new extended family. You obviously put in a lot of time writing your story.

good, interesting but way too long

Still a great story, the 2nd time I read it! DerMtMan

Great story but the continued interference by the bitch and her emotional abuse of her kids was fucking annoying!

Nice story but way to long with minutiae.

Loved it,

Very nice tale, especially the last few chapters.