Dewy 01

Dewy 01

So, hi there, I'm Dewy, well, my birth name is Drew, but that never worked out for me, so, hey there, I'm Dewy, I'm almost, almost, almost 22 and I fit into just about anything labeled as small and sometimes I buy things that are labeled as extra small just to fill them out completely plus some. I've been on a program for a while now, so, I'm half crazy sometimes, but my story today is more about my 'crazy all the time' friend, Chuck. And a few other people, I suppose.

In my mind, I'm very playful, not that I have anyone to be playful with or anything, I'm crafty and I love technology and social media and I've never had or been anyone's boyfriend, but that's okay since I do have some people in my life. Or for short, my playfulness is basically a waste of time, but it's what I have, so.

And I may or may not have a fan page on Chang separate from my standard homepage, but that's not what my story is about.

Anyways, a few months ago, because I'm also a little crafty, I went down to the Arts & Crafts Shop on the Strip and bought, um, one, two, three, four, four round and brown Paper Mache cardboard boxes, um, containers of different sizes, if you will, so that when I stacked them together, it resembled a tier layered cake, as my description for you, so I hope you can envision that. But I didn't just make a tan brown cardboard cake because I spray painted all of them, inside and out, with shiny gold spray paint. Which was a pain in the ass, but it worked.

And then I filled each round container with an array of small gifts, including a few gold coins in the very small top round box, wrapped 20 candles with $20 bills using extremely small rubber bands, strung it all together with shiny gold ribbon and gave it to my artist friend, G.G.J. Kayla QT for her 20th and that worked too. And nope, I did not light the candles!

And yep, tee he, I showed it off to everyone first before I presented my creation to G.G.J. Kayla QT. Well, I posted like ten photos of it on my Chang account since the word "everybody" has limitations in my life. But it was a big hit and G.G.J. Kayla QT loved it.

Well, fast forward a few months and enter stage left, my other friend, Chuck, the "crazy way of doing things" guy, right? Well, stage left meaning that he asked me to stop by his place because he thought of his own crazy way of making his own, um, painted gift box cake for his younger brother. Tee he, and don't get me wrong, Chuck can be a total hoot! And crazy, but that was not a cake. A train wreck, yes, but not a uniformly and well organized and shiny and glistening painted cake like some other person made and presented as a big hit, so.

And since being invited to someone's house is not the normal for me, well, I was all over that! And dressed to impress. In case a few of his buddies were over and just in case his roomie (Jack) was home, not that I have any interest in any of them. Well, Chuck, not so much, but Jack, um, I could playfully spider monkey jump up onto his chest and see what happens! Oh, says someone, so, don't quote me on that. But I would do it half naked, so. I think.

"Um, thanks for coming over, Dewy, um, well, before we get into my train wreck of a crafty gifting project for my younger brother, um, what's all this then, hmm? Are you modeling for the Porcelain Doll Shop on the Strip these days?"

Oh, didn't I mention that sometimes I try different things? Sometimes they work and sometimes they don't and so far, so good, not that I would hang my hat on whatever Chuck says. Unless he says nice about my visor hat.

"Oh, all this is extra time at the vanity mirror and a lot of various layers of facial concealer, but that's not important right now, Chuck. I mean, is your roomie, Jack, in his bedroom taking a little nappy poo from working so much overtime down at the factory, not that I'm asking for any reason at all, so?"

"Oh, and I'm not ignoring that, Dewy, but listen, I tried to spray paint my own gift boxes for my younger brother and um, it's not going all that well, so, a little help then, huh?"

Story pause, ahem, for the record, ahem, my golden painted perfectly stacked four tier cake box crafty gift creation was the whip, the bomb, a bag of chips, a gray CK thong and swept forward dark hair all rolled into one! Chuck's, not so much, but it's the thought that counts, right? Tee he.

I mean, first of all, his attempt at a three-tier cake box concept missed the mark for symmetry. Not that I'm judging, but a pair of new athletic shoes in a box with a new game controller in a box and a new phone case in a box just wasn't at all up to parr with, you know, someone else's whip ass concept and finely constructed concept, but it's the thought that counts and Chuck is a good older brother with a big heart. The end. Tee he.

But that wasn't his biggest failure. I mean, unlike a certain project that started out with a solid color of tan like cardboard Paper Mache boxes, someone else's project started out with multiple, multiple, multiple colored lettering and photos on the boxes, all which bled through his attempt to paint each box with holiday red spray paint. Unlike someone else's project, so.

Also, they make gift wrapping paper like every day, right? And in big rolls, right?

"So, Dewy, can you help me out with this so it's a little more like what you did for your artist friend, A.B.C.D. Dee Dot QT, huh? And why don't you just refer to her as just G. then?"

"Oh, just G. belongs to the music industry, Chuck. And her name is G.G.J. Kayla QT."

"Well, why not just G.G. then? That's modern, right, Dewy?"

"Oh, um, G.G. belongs to the movie industry, Check, well, Gigi does, so?"

"OMG, fine, can we work with what I have then or not, huh? And I already know that it will never look anything like you made for, ahem, and showed off more than plenty on your Chang page, for your friend, D.E.G.H. Hips McGee QT, so?"

"(Giggles) Chuck, this has to be one of your craziest ideas to date! Tee he, and your bathrobe is totally dated. I mean, is that 2012 state park picnic table brown, tee he? And just where is your roomie, Jack, hmm? Not that I'm asking for any reason at all, so? Is he working overtime still? Or is he just behind that bedroom door up the steps, hmm?"

I mean, nobody looks good in picnic table brown, right? Brown and brownish tones, yes, but state park brown? No.

"Well, I was covered with red overspray and my arms felt like cotton candy, so, I was going to jump in the shower before any of the dudes stop by, so?"

"Oh, Chuck, most people would wake their roomie when another person is asking about him, but then again, tee he, most people would fully close their state park road sign brown bathrobe too!"

[An embarrassed Chuck, who really has nothing to be embarrassed about, glances down and quickly cover wrap's the state park brown robe up]

"Sorry, Dewy, but officially, you peeked, so, what's the verdict here? And just exactly why you look like a porcelain doll tonight, huh?"

"Oh, the box verdict is not good, but it can be salvaged. And maybe I went a little crazy with the facial concealers this evening, so, what? Do you and your roomie, Jack, just text each other, even when you're both at home, hmm?"

I mean, the verdict wasn't all that good, right? The bleed through could have been prevented with a coat of black paint first before the red paint, right? I mean, the logos and words printed in black on the cardboard boxes just bled through the red.

Or you know, wrap the three boxes in wrapping paper and be done with it! But nah, Chuck just had to copy the cool ass idea that his sweet ass acquaintance pulled off a few months ago, right? Oh, and a friend who just found out on his Chang account that his butt is better than even he thought, so. Not that I put a lot of stock in lurkers, but I read the comments.

Also, I mentioned that they make wrapping paper every day, right?

And that he totally ruined the original packing boxes? And made a mess of his garage with overspray.

But none of that was as bad as the stacking sizes and symmetry of three poorly painted gift boxes. Which were not definitely not up to parr with a certain someone's previously trending project. Ahem.

"Well, it all has to be gift paper wrapped or spray painted black first and then red, Chuck. Those are your two best choices right now, so. Also, just what time does your bachelor man cave pad open for business the, Chuck? Not that I'm interested in figuring out something before a crowd of "dudes" pop in. And by the way, you're still popping out!"

I mean, fine, wear a bathrobe in the comfort of your own, but read the rules! Which must say to wear boxer shorts until you're completely alone behind the closed bathroom door, right?

[Boink, throb, senses sex, boing, throb]

"Well, Dewy, if you're waiting for me to stand here and symbolically close my eyes while you sneak upstairs to visit with the roomie, I mean, I hope you have all night, Dewy, so?"

[Boink, boing, throb, thump]

"Hmm, have fun in the shower then, Chuck."

[Makes those infamous empty hand fap, fap, fap motions]

"Hah, I wish you would, wait, hah, you wish I would do that over you, wait, hah, um, hah, I lurked your latest video post, Dewy, so, um, hah then????"

"Oh, so, Chuck, then you've already had a little fun in the shower for the past few days then, hmm?"

Well, just because it was Chuck's house, I mean, I didn't need his permission to sneak up the steps anyways. And it's not like I did that to point my booty at him as I did softly walk up the steps, so.

[Knock, knock, if the door is unlocked, then it's open, right?]

"Psst, Jack, Jack, psst!"

"(Moan, one sheep, two sheep, three sheep, snooze.)"

Well, Jack's bedroom door didn't have a lock on it anyways, so, I had to think about that since Chuck's house was a bit of a bachelor's man cave pad. I mean, I wiggled out of my skinny jeans anyway, but you know, quietly and on the other side of his bed. In case anyone opened the door. And with "quiet" being the key word.

"PSST! PSST! Jack!"

"(Grump, grumble, mumble) what? OMG, Chuck, get out of here with that sex doll (grump, roll over, mumble) I gave up on those like two years ago (roll over, snore, one sheep, two sheep, snooze)."

Well, I didn't hear Jack grumble to crawl under his covers and lay still, but I didn't hear him mumble to remove my skinny jeans first and I did that, so, that's what I did. In just my undies and my porcelain doll top.

But that's all of the moves that I was making because there was no way in hell that I was making the official first official move.

And that was the only move made since he went all "grump, grumble, mumble" as he woke up about 30 minutes later, ran his hands through his hair for a moment, grumbled a little more and then stumbled out of his bedroom and down the stairs without even noticing that I was on the right side of his bed. Which does sound very good for me, for sure, but nowhere will it be written that I made the official first official move, so.

[Muffled mumblings and grumblings from downstairs]

Well, I don't know what Jack and Chuck were talking about since I was still up the steps, so. And rummaging around a little in Jack's bedroom.

[Muffled grumblings, WHAT? Muffled mumblings, RIGHT NOW?]

Well, then I knew that Chuck must have mentioned to Jack that I was upstairs in his bed, so. Well, upstairs in his bedroom anyways.

[Bedroom doors flings open!]

And I was already redressed and freshening my lip gloss using his Dresser mirror by then anyways.

"Okay, hi, Jack, bye, Jack."

[Swish out the door, oops, a movie arm snatch and pull back then?]

"Oh no, no, Dewy, you're not going anywhere just yet!"

[Oh, a movie tough guy attitude too!]

"And that's all I got, so, you say something then, Dewy. And start with did I get lucky without knowing it just a few moments ago, so?"

"Oh, absolutely not, Jack, since that would have made my move an official move, but I peeked, so? And I'm out of here before I get busted up in your bedroom by your visiting "dudes", which will be worse for you than it will be for me, so?"

"Did we hump at least, Dewy?"

"Absolutely not, Jack! But I did remove my shirt for a quick minute and pressed my titties, well, my bump impressions into back, so?"

Well, the program, right? I mean, they are not much, but they are there. Only, um, maybe it's just me, but the formation is not the same since they're just raised impressions, I guess. But that's what a bra is for, am I right? To shape and form, OMG, thank goodness!

"Let me see those titties, Dewy! We have a minute, so."

"Oh, did you want a top down POV view then, Jack? I was already almost bottomless in your bed and now you want me to whip my shirt off again, right? What's next? To put your perfectly sized hard cock between my porcelain doll painted lips, hmm?"

You see, folks, sometimes I don't know when to shut it!

But he got what he wanted anyways. Well, almost all that he wanted. I did not get undressed again. LOL, because it's written that you don't need too! Just kneel down. And squint your eyes a lot the first time, but I did not hesitate.

And I read ahead in the book and already knew that the moment was about to get awkward, so I beat the rush and skedaddled out of Jack's bedroom and down the carpet covered steps. Straight into the Lion's den! Well, the bachelor's den anyways.

Which was 50 times more awkward than what I had just walked away from.

"Shut it, all of you! All that happened was that I adjusted his window curtains, so, shut it!"

[Bachelor Lions giggle????]

"Well, at least give us a quick peek, I mean, a quick preview of that crazy post you made on Chang Market then, Dewy and you know, purse your porcelain lips a lot while you do that, tee he. I mean, explaining what a super, super, duper, duper, top secret ad means is going to take a minute, right?"

"Oh, ha, ha, Jacob! But there is project in the works that a certain someone needs a little side for, so?"

"Ahem, to do what, Dewy? Just what does side muscle do then, huh?"

"Well, a certain someone needs side muscle for helping with her painting trays, protective latex gloves and safety by crisscrossing flashlight beams since some people might still live in the south end of the old abandoned train tunnel and because some animals might use the north end of the tunnel for shelter, so?"

"Wait, Dewy, fluorescent paint, latex gloves and a bikini? OMG, don't tell us, your foxy little artist friend, B.C.D. Eyebrows Queen QT is going to paint sex hands prints inside of the train tunnel, right? We're in! And I call flashlight beam crisscross since tee he, that's your thing, so, called it!"

Um, I said nothing about fluorescent paint or painting in a bikini, did I?

"Oh, I'm not at liberty to release that type of project information, Jacob, but trust me, Jack just now called flashlight beam crisscrossing with me and I earned it, um, he earned it, well, somebody just now earned something and I cannot release any further of the details and um, good bye guys!"

And with that, LOL, I ran my butt out of the front door.

End Dewy 01