Diagnosing a Fetish Ch. 05

"I guess. She seemed a little upset, maybe, and she was looking for you. Came in asking if you were here earlier. I told her that you were... I guess I maybe shouldn't have. Sorry if I was the reason she followed you home or something; I don't want to be the one responsible for making you feel unsafe."

"No, it's not your fault. She didn't follow me either, just used my address on file at her office." Resting my head in the palm of my head, I tried to figure out what I should do next. As I feared, the letter did little to help me move on from this mess.

"Are you going to call her?"

"No, I don't think so," I sighed, staring into empty space.

"So, what then? You don't haven't to do anything if you don't want to, obviously," she quickly added, "But it seems like this is really bothering you. If I'm being honest, I don't know if it's exactly... healthy just to keep living like this either."

I couldn't argue with her. Since the truth came out about Dr. Morse, I had been feeling more emotionally drained than usual. "Are you going to be here tomorrow afternoon?" I asked Lucy, turning to look at the blonde.

"I'm going to be around; I don't know if I'll be here specifically."

"Can you be?"

"I don't know," she shrugged, "I guess? Why?"

"And RAE isn't open?"

"Not until 9 o'clock."

Chewing on my fingernail, I could feel the letter burning a hole in my jacket as I attempted to come to a decision. "I think I'm going to meet her," I explained, "I'll tell her to come here so that we can talk about everything, and I can finally stop all this stupidity. But I need you here. I can't do this alone, and the only other friend I have is away right now."

Lucy frowned, "Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean, it just feels like there is a strong possibility that things will only get worse."

"Don't say that, Lucy," a voice came from over my shoulder, causing me to jump. Feeling a hand on my shoulder, I turned to find Eve standing behind me. "She made a decision, and I think it's only fair we help her if possible," she continued.

"And where did all this compassion suddenly come from?" Lucy asked, not looking convinced.

"Look, I know what it feels like to be used by someone else. Frankly, it feels shitty. If Mallory is experiencing that now, I want to do everything I can to help. I can vouch for what happens when no one steps in. Plus, my bar played a part in this. Maybe not a big one, but a part, nonetheless. That makes me somewhat responsible for this situation."

"We'll be even more liable if this makes it worse," Lucy retorted.

Eve said something after that, and they continued to bicker, but I tuned it out. Mindlessly, I clutched my phone, my hand shaking as I typed in the numbers. I didn't need to look at the letter to remember them; they were burned in my mind. Maybe Lucy was right; maybe this was a bad idea. I didn't know what to think, so I just didn't. I turned off my brain and pressed the phone up to my ear, the rigging deafening as I waited.

"Hello? Mallory? Thank God you called. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

"Stop. I don't want to hear it," my tone was cold, unfeeling, "Meet me at RAE tomorrow, twelve o'clock."

"OK. But please, I-"

I hung up the phone, cutting her off. Tucking the device back in my pocket, I stood up from the bar and walked outside, my ears ringing. I took a seat on the closest bench and let the realization of what I had just done wash over me. My chest compressed with fear, my breathing becoming labored as I was hit with a sudden panic attack. Making the phone call needed to be done, but it didn't make it easier.

"Are you OK?" Lucy asked, following me outside.

"Yeah. Just needed to get some air."

"And? What did she say?"

"She's going to meet me. I didn't let her say anything more than that," I leaned forward, resting my head in my hands, "You're going to be here tomorrow, right? During the meeting, I mean."

"Yeah, of course."

"Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then," I stood from the bench, zipping up my jacket as I began towards my car.

"Mallory, you're sure you're good? I can drive you home if you want."

"No, it's OK." I did my best to act brave, careful not to turn around and show her how unsure I really was. Truthfully, I was nowhere near ready to face Dr. Morse. I just hoped that Eve and Lucy being present would be enough to get me through it.