All Comments on 'Did I Make The Cut? Ch. 01'

I like the story. It is kinda nice to know that they end up together from the start. Takes the stress off and then you can enjoy the story. I think you should have someone correct it for you since there are many mistakes that and editor could catch for you. Great first chapter.

Im lovin this story so far it seems like it mite b a really good

It mite b a good one

Things are going to be interesting!!! Can't wait to see the next chapter!

Im not real big into all the Fairytale gay romancy stuff, and for not having a lot of fucking and sucking, seems to have plenty of fucky-sucky and everyone has a big gay cock. Cuming from the MWM angle I like this character taking his lovers cum in his mouth, that is hot, waste of good man juice, when you pump it up his ass......certainly anticipate him giving and receiving a hot rim job....

Some of the dialogue is a little stilted though (I don't think anyone would say "I am coming!" rather than "I'm coming!"). You may want to use contractions a little more, to help it flow, and read it to yourself to check the punctuation.

Liked your intro, but the story seemed to end abruptly.

thanks for all your comments and suggestions... i'll do my best to submit the next chapter as soon as i can :) spraying more love!

-the naked llama

like this so far think its a really good start looking forward to reading more:)

I like how realistic you've started this. Most times in the euphoria of a new relationship, we tend not to see the same as the others around us. You humor is really there and I like how it adds spice and realism to not only your characters but the flow of the story as well. Keep up the good work... *grins* now with that said, moving on to Chapter 2.

~EnchantedGreen~

lost intrest and lost the plot.?

Please get an editor the grammar & sentance structure hurt my eyes.