Did My Heart Love Till Now?

I thought she was going to do that and parted my legs. But instead she massaged my back, not with her hands. She oiled her body and straddled me with legs either side of mine and pressed herself, breasts, belly and pubic mound, rubbing and grinding herself against me and bringing new delights.

"If this fine you, Edward. I'm not too heavy am I?"

"It's wonderful, Renate. No you are not heavy at all."

I instinctively shifted body so my movements counterstroke her own. Her nipples felt stiff on me and her cropped pubic hair scoured my lower back and buttocks either side of my cleft. I parted my legs some more, encouraging her to run in between my cheeks. I wondered if she was aroused enough herself to orgasm but as I now know she was doing it purely for my pleasure, not her own. And pleasure it was for me, I wondered how it would feel if she fucked my anus wearing a strap-on. I was wishing she would .....

Too soon my thoughts were interrupted as the dance of our bodies came to an end.

"In a minute I'll go inside and massage your prostate, if you'd like."

"Oh yes, Renate, that would be heavenly."

"Good, I thought you'd want me to. But first I'll work on the outside. And I want you raise your bum a little."

For the next minutes Renate intimately explored my entire pelvic floor, paying special attention to my perineum, that very sensitive area at the base of my crotch between my hole and my scrotum. With thumbs and fingertips she pressed and flexed, finding nooks and crannies I hardly knew I had. She pressed her palms firmly onto my pelvic concavities, massaging me inside from the outside. She didn't specifically stroke my cock or my balls, but did not make any effort to avoid them. The effect was wonderful and exciting, all the more because the little touches were incidental and unexpected.

She eased her strokes away from my private intimate area, feathering her touch rather than stopping abruptly. She kept a hand on my foot as she reached over, and I heard the sound of something, a latex glove surely, being pulled onto her hand and snapping into position. My thoughts were filled with being penetrated by her hand ....

"Please get up on your hands and knees but have your legs apart. I'm going to slowly enter you now. Tell me, Edward, if it hurts or is uncomfortable, or I am going too quickly."

"Thank you, but I'm sure it will feel good."

I got into position, aroused at the expectation of this lady pushing her fingers into my arse and stroking my prostate. From the sound I knew she was lubing her hands with more oil. For several moments she merely played at the edge of my rosebud, slowly working along my cleft and perineum, then slowly toward the centre but not touching my ring. She placed a fingertip right at my anal hole and stroked it around, gradually approaching my ring.

"Just relax and let my finger enter you. Imagine doing caca onto my hand, then you will open naturally. Don't worry if you have any inside, don't worry about being dirty."

I appreciated her acceptance of whatever state of fullness my bowels might be, although I had made sure to be as empty as possible in anticipation of what I might happen during the massage.

With her other hand she cupped my ball sac in her palm and rested her fingertips on my cock to steady me I supposed, but adding to my pleasure as well. With her fingers resting at my anus it entered without any force as my ring muscle relaxed as if drawing it in. I felt the growing presence inside me and realised she was working her digit deep into my rectum. Suddenly I felt a new sensation, my insides gave a little lurch and my cock stirred, leaking some precum onto her fingers.

She whispered in my ear, "I'm touching your prostate now Edward, I think you like it."

Gently she stroked my gland and pushed onto it, causing me stiffen harden as my arousal increased.

"Would you like me to put another finger inside?"

"Oh yes, Renate, as many as will go in."

The second finger went in so easily, and I'm sure a third as well, that my only awareness was the sense of being filled more and more. With the three she was able to manoeuvre around my rectal cavity, over the next minutes she scissors and twizzled around, stroked the inner walls and probed, pressed and teased my prostate. My breath was coming faster, almost frantically.

"Aaaah... Renate, that's .... mmmmm ....lovely, but ooooooh ......nnnnngggg ...."

I was gasping in pleasure and leaking more and more precum. I began to buck and squirm and felt as if I would ejaculate at any moment. In fact the sensations were becoming so strong, I couldn't keep control of how my core was reacting. I was clutching the towel under me and all my muscles were contracting. It was becoming difficult to keep in position on hands and knees, almost thought I'll collapse.

"Aaaarrrgghhh, please ...."

"You want more, Edward?"

I was sure her voice carried more than a hint of mischief.

"Please, another, ...."

I could feel my ring was really being stretched but the pleasure from all four fingers moving inside my rectum completely overcame the discomfort. I wondered how it would feel with her whole hand inside.

"Wow Renate! It feels wonderful having your fingers inside me. Do you think you could get your whole hand in?"

"Oh, I don't think it would go in, I wouldn't know how to do that. Wouldn't it hurt?"

I said I wanted to try and described how if she arranged her fingers in a ring and put her thumb inside them it should work. I said perhaps she'd need to come out first and use some more KY jelly.

She was a bit hesitant but did as I suggested and tentatively pushed and twisted round. I gasped as her hand went in almost to where the line of knuckles came to my sphincter, and then it seemed not to go further. I was sure it would go but she didn't want to hurt me. I exhorted her to keep pushing and slowly twist as he did. I could feel it was right at the point of passing through past my ring where it was at the maximum stretch, and was getting really painful. I did my best to control my breathing and not tense up, also to avoid gasping in pain. I was sweating and panting in short breaths, almost about to say it was too much .... then suddenly it slipped in past my sphincter and the pain disappeared. Her whole hand was inside!

"Renate, it's in, it's in! That's wonderful. Now you can touch and feel me inside and play with what you find."

"It's OK, Edward? Doesn't hurt?"

"It feels wonderful. Tell me what you are doing. What does it feel like in there? Can you feel my prostate?" I asked, mischievously. I knew from my reaction that she was stroking my prostate.

"I'm touching it now. I can see what that's doing to your lingam!

There is some caca inside you as well."

My face must have been red with embarrassment and I was glad she would be able to see. Despite that, the thought of such a lovely lady pushing her fingers into my caca was excitingly naughty.

"Oh Renate, are you're OK with that, don't you find it nasty. I thought I had emptied."

"Not at all, Edward. Don't worry."

I told her I'd like her to do that, feel for any lumps and squish them in her fingers. "Tell me what your hand is doing in there."

"I'm feeling all around, there's a bulge where your prostate is and I'm stroking it. You lingam is very stiff now. As I touch the tip I feel some wetness oozing out, I think you must be enjoying that! ..... And now I've found a big piece of caca, and I'm playing with it inside you. Mmmmm. it's all squishy in my fingers ....."

"Aaaaarrrhhh .... Renate, I think .... Aaaaahh ..... that's enough for now."

"OK, I could feel something happening inside you. I'll ease out."

Slowly she withdrew, leaving me with a sensation of lost contact on my prostate and emptiness in my rectum. I felt deprived of her fingers in me but I needed the respite and the chance for my breathing to recover. I collapsed on the mat, as though without strength in my arms and legs. Renate lay against my side, resting an arm on my back, as if to comfort me.

"We'll just stay like this for a minute if you like."

"Mmmmmm, that was wonderful but any more would have been too much. And this is so lovely, feeling you lie next to me ...."

"When you're ready you can turn over again and I'll do your front ..... and of course your lingam."

As I began to turn I realised I needed to go to the bathroom.

"Yes of course, it's usual after that to have to do pipi."

Both of us naked, she took my hand and led me to where I had showered even though she knew I could find my way. I needed a while to compose myself and to be able to release the flow. Once it started I was surprised how much there was and I needed a good few minutes to finish and freshen. Those moments were good to clear my head and provide a respite from the intense feelings that were flooding my senses.

I lay on my back, on the lunghi which Renate had placed over the towel. I liked that she had done that as it felt good to feel it under me, as it felt good to be on display. She sat behind me, reached forward and took my hands in hers, then pulled them up and back and placed them on her breast.

"Let your hands rest on my body, feel my breast as I touch yours."

Again, her words and sent a thrill through me and I was aware of its message, she was affirming the contact as part of the exchange of energy and emotion between us. She leaned forward again and placed her hands flat on my chest pushing forward and passing to the sides going on the way down as they pressed and then inward onto my lower belly to return up with delicate strokes of her fingers as they passed over my nipples. I felt them become erect and felt Renate's nipples harden as well. She repeated several times and started pinching them playfully on the last few.

Renate again escalated the excitement level. She shifted to her knees with her legs either side of me I looked straight up as her to see all her front, her breast, her stomach her pubic mound and her sex. I could smell her delicious aroma as well ....

She worked now with the full flat of her hands, making strong parallel strokes starting at my chest and running the full length of my body, her hands coming closer together over my belly then splaying out my genitals to continue down over my pelvis and thighs. Then more slowly and softly on the return, when her fingers glided over my balls and cock. The contact with my genitals was highly arousing, but in addition I was treated to the delight of Renate's sex passing just a few inches from my face. Did I imagine it, her vagina now looked open and her labia flared out, as if she herself were excited. And could I have been mistaken about the wonderful aroma of a sexy woman's arousal. It was as if she was transferring her own sexual energy to me, or maybe amplifying my own and feeding it back. Whatever, it was incredibly arousing. I began to groan and gasp, my hands were clenching at the covering of mat. All my muscles were contracting, almost on the point of spasm, and my cock swelled and stiffened. I was about to orgasm .....

Then suddenly she closed the door on the flow and let the energy subside. She got up and put pillows under my head so I was not quite lying down and moved round to sit between my feet with her legs parted and slight bent at the knees. She raised my legs and placed them so my calves were resting on her thighs either side of her hips. The position was intimate and very comfortable for me, and I hope also for Renate. We were facing and could see each other's naked bodies. I could see her breasts and her prominent nipples, her flat belly, her nearly shaven mons and her yoni. She could see my lingam and ball sac, and I hoped she enjoyed seeing my body as much as I enjoyed seeing hers. For some moments we gazed at each other in tranquil contentment, then looked straight at each other's gaze, making eye contact.

"I enjoy looking as you, Renate." She smiled and so did I.

"I am very happy with this time with you, Edward. But before I continue I ask if you are happy for me to massage your lingam and if you wish to orgasm. You don't have to if you prefer not."

"Yes Renate, please massage my lingam and bring me to orgasm."

I was aware that orgasm is not the primary goal of tantra, more exactly preparation for orgasm that is the goal. Traditionally the (male) receiver would not orgasm, but keep the sexual energy at a very high level for his partner.

She gave an amused smiled. "Thank you, I am glad you'd say that."

She placed a hand low down on my belly, just below my navel, then with her other hand liberally poured warm oil over my entire genital region. She massaged all around at first, with fluid strokes and firm enough with her fingers to stimulate the nerves at the periphery of my sex, including my perineum. Without a break in her routine she circled in to my ball sac, fondling it and working her fingers around and between the twin eggs inside. Continuing to work one hand that way her other hand went to my cock and wrapped around it. As she drew it out along its length towards the tip she spiralled around twisting it gently, then let her hand losing its grip and ease back the root before repeating. Each time she extended and twisted it I felt a stirring and when she eased back the sensation would subside. The waves of arousal got progressively stronger and my member grew and became harder, so within a minute I was on the point of orgasm and thought I would in a moment explode in a crescendo of ejaculation. But as before she controlled my arousal and dissipated the energy by moving her hands away to run her hands in light stroking of my chest. And then she would repeat the cycle, at times adding a little more oil, and would bring me a little bit closer to the cusp. This outwardly conservative and modest lady had complete power over me.

The pressure of her stroking and twisting became stronger and each time and after several minutes I realised this time she was going to take me all the way. I looked into her face and saw her eyes closed in concentration. My eyes started to close and for a while I felt as if I was hanging in space, as if about to fall but being held secure. My whole world shrank to this small part of the room and the contact with my tantrica. It was as if the pent up sexual energy was being gathered from every part of me and directed to one spot. I gasped, groaned and bucked - my body no longer directed by my brain. My hands gripped the cloth underneath me, the muscles of my limbs and stomach tensed and everything seems to become fluid inside me and race toward my lingam. It was as if I was being turned inside out. My breath was coming frantically fast .....

"Mmmmmm! Renate .... Oh .... I'm going ..... to lose .... control ..... Uurrhhh ..... lose con ..... Aaarrghhh! ........."

She managed to maintain her hold on me and stop me from flying up to the ceiling. I now spurted in what seemed like all directions. The jerks and spasms went on a long time I was drained. I had never experienced such a climax before.

Gradually the convulsions weakened and my breathing became more even, though I was still breathing heavily. For a little while I felt as if I really was on the ceiling but I slowly descended to rest my body again on the mat. I felt her soft warm body against mine and loving hands cradling my head.

Presently she got up and spread the lunghi over me.

"Take a little rest now and stay with your thoughts about our time together."

I remained semi-awake, reflecting on our session and my feelings about it. In the quiet I heard the shower and a few minutes later she returned wearing her lunghi. I remained naked as she led me to the shower room and said for me to relax and not hurry. Cleansed and refreshed in mind and body, I went back to the room and dressed. Thoughtfully Renate let me have the space to myself before she returned, fully clothed.

We talked for a while talking, asking about each other and each other's worlds. She told me more about tantra, about the institute, and about herself, while I talked about my background and work, what it was like to live in Germany, and how I felt about tantra. After a while we settled.

At the door we parted with a warm embrace and kiss. "This has been wonderful time for me. I love tantric massage but yours was very special. I hope I'll see you again, Renate."

What I didn't say, what I don't think I knew at the time was that I needed to see her again. Renate had reached deep into my soul.

I slept well that night. The emotional release must have exhausted me more than I realised. My thoughts the rest of my day and evening were filled with our time together, and as I settled into bed I was already thinking of the next visit to Institute Tantra.