Didn't You Want This?

I can't believe I'm here. In this situation. I thought I'd planned everything. I thought I knew what he was going to do.

I lay on the couch, all curled up, feeling filthy as he ran his fingers through my hair. "You really are beautiful." His voice barely above a whisper, gentle and loving. I should be shrinking from his touch but I found myself seeking it instead. His caress strays down my cheek and to my shoulders, which he grips firmly. "Such a sweet, ripe fruit. Juicy." I shudder.

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Meeting him he seemed so sweet and unassuming. Standard white guy. We'd formed a gentle, easy rapport when we'd met. He remarked how beautiful he found black women, using my features as example. The gold sheen of my brown skin in the sun. The smooth, almost velvet texture. The wet fullness of my bottom lip, the sparkle in my almond shaped eyes. "You broke my concentration the minute I glanced at you. Your innocence is almost doe eyed. I'm sorry, I probably sound like a weirdo. My name is Richard. I just had to introduce myself, but you're so beautiful all I can do is ramble."

"Hi Richard, My name is Gianna. No need to apologize, it's cute. Do you have a favorite?" I saw his eyes go blank. "The sidewalk art. The event we are at is sidewalk art..."

"I'm so sorry, yes, I know. I like this one over here" He gently but firmly took me by the arm and lead me to a scene of a sea turtle emerging from kelp, surrounded by fish. The blues really were mesmerizing. I stared for a moment, losing myself in the waves as though I'd actually dove in and while I admired the blend in the transitions between colors i felt his eye bore into me. Something about him felt predatory, but nothing about his behavior matched. He really just seemed like a starry eyed admirer. Harmless.

I took a step closer to him. Something in his eyes seemed to be calculating something, as if he were studying me and pleased that he'd been right about something. Then, suddenly as if never there at all, it melted into a soft loving gaze. He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me into him. His cologne was mesmerizing. A faint woody scent that reminded me of campfire. I allowed myself to relax into him. Something about his breath changed, just slightly, but I couldn't place my finger on why there were tiny alarm bells going off in my head.

"May I take you to dinner?" He asked, breaking my thoughts. I know the protocol is to ask for your number and schedule and..."

"Yes, I happen to be free this evening. What are you in the mood for?" The alarm bells were slightly louder now. He squeezed my arm, just a little too tight, but it was so quick I almost doubted it had happened.

"There's a steakhouse in walking distance if you're cool with it" I followed him, thinking it was amazing he had suggested what happened to be my favorite restaurant. When we got there he ordered a bottle of my favorite red, with my favorite appetizer, then turned to me and asked what I'd like.

"Um, well i may have some of your wine, but is it ok if I-"

"Whatever you want is ok. Just go ahead and order, gorgeous." I ordered a tiramisu martini, and thanked the waiter, then looked down at my menu. I had a taste for steak, but the one I really wanted was quite pricey. "I think you should get the porterhouse" he said matter of factly reading my mind.

"It's a little expensive, but how did you know that was my favorite cut of-"

"It's an amazing cut!" His hand found my knee and I scooted closer in the booth, laying my head on his shoulder. Something in the back of my mind shuddered, but the waiter returned with our drinks.

"I have to powder my nose, I'll be right back" I slipped from the booth, grabbing my bag and heading toward the restroom. I touched up my makeup, taking extra time to gloss my lips. I imagined him helpless at the table, thinking about the way my lips would look wrapped around his cock. That's what it always seemed to mean when men complimented my lips. He was fresh on the hook, reeling in with ease. So easy. Too easy. Images swam in my head of leading my new puppy around. How he'd adore me. I smiled to myself in the mirror and turned to head back out. I peeked from behind the partition that separates the restroom from the dining area. It looked as though he had his hand over my drink. Was he covering it until I returned? So sweet. Tiny alarm bells again. I walked over and retook my seat, cozying up close. He removed his hand from my drink.

"Just keeping it fresh. Speaking of, you look absolutely effervescent in this light." We ate between laughs and easy conversation. It was as if he knew me. When the check came he put his card into the sleeve without even looking. "I know you're not a one night kinda girl, you just don't feel like that to me, but I still really want to invite you over. I just don't want the night to end."

"That sounds fun! Maybe we can watch a movie and I can head home after" His eyes got that glint again, then just as suddenly it was gone.

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"You were so easy. I've been watching for a while and you didn't once get that uneasy glance over your shoulder the way they normally do. The instinctive feeling that you were being followed. So defenseless and open, I'm actually questioning whether it's love and not just desire. You are the perfect victim. I almost expected you to be a virgin. So tight...are you? Were you?" That hard glint I'd noticed earlier was back but this time it didn't flit away. I shuddered again, but felt my own wetness. "Little bunny. And I might feel guilty if you didnt get so fucking wet for me. I wasn't planning on it initially, but you are not leaving here without my baby in your belly. I need you to be mine completely." Tears welled in my eyes and as I considered whether I could jump up and make a dash for the door before he caught me and overpowered me, I felt his cock thicken and pulse against my leg. Something in me snapped at the idea that my tears were this exciting to him and a part of me I didn't even know was there spoke.

"I will fight you as long as I have breath" but even as I spoke my body spoke a different truth, ever so slightly brushing my thigh against his hard cock. I glanced at the door again, thinking about running.

"Do it, whore. Try it. You're going to be mine but I need to break you first" I almost came, but put my face in my arms to hide it. He couldn't have that. It didn't matter. He dipped a finger inside me and I realized my leggings were tatters between my legs. The memory of them being ripped and shredded with scissors flashed through my mind like a fever dream. I lept from the couch and made my dash for the door, and some sick fucking part of me begged him to be fast enough. I wasn't disappointed as I heard his footsteps behind me, gaining faster than I expected. Just as I reached the door he got his hands on me, wrenched me back, and spun me to face him.

"You stupid fucking cunt. You dizzy fucking gash. Even if you'd reached the handle the door locks on the inside by key, as well." He reached into the valley between my thighs again, dipping into my wetness. "Didn't you want this, bitch? Didn't you ask for it? The signs were all there. I know for a fact you saw me drug your drink, there's a mirror up, I saw you peek at me. You still decided to go home with me. You still put yourself in this situation. You knew nothing about me but you were willing to, without telling anyone where you were, to come into my home with perfect trust that you would be allowed to leave. That alone deserves this" he withdrew his finger and I shuddered as he tasted it. He gripped my arm again, the same overly firm grip as earlier, and led me into his bedroom, throwing me onto the bed

"Did you..."

"I don't do it while they're sleeping. Especially not you. I needed that betrayal in your eyes that you are giving me to drink right now. I did, however, need time to prepare for our time. Especially you. The mother of my child. I needed it to be perfect. I needed you to know you would never escape me even if I let you leave." I looked at him puzzled as he glanced at my wrist and smiled the sweetest, dreamiest smile and my stomach turned. I looked down and saw a name and my blood ran cold. He'd tattooed his name on my wrist over my suicide attempt scar. I swallowed and looked back up at him, utter defeat all over my face.

"You...Did you know about these?"

"You don't look people in the eyes when you meet them, Gianna. Some broken part of you avoids eye contact. I was the EMT who found you." I went rigid and froze as I thought back. It had been...

"You've been following me for three months."

"As the snow melted, so did my heart. Such a beautiful woman almost lost forever. I couldn't get you out of my mind. Not only did I bring your warmth back, I'm going to create another life as well. I never thought I'd have children. Then again, you inspire so many actual feelings in me it's terrifying. Have you ever thought about being a mom?"

My mind flashed to what I had always imagined would be the circumstance when I had children. A loving devoted father. I supposed in his own sick way... What was I thinking. This is not what I wanted. I tried to lean into my disgust and ignore the throbbing in my clit at the idea something so intimate was about to be taken. "You don't have to do this. You haven't done anything so far...I'm going to choose to believe you about that. But please let me leave."

"You'll never call me if I don't break you. Just relax. You'll come to enjoy it. You already did in your sleep. You taste amazing" I shuddered again fighting back a dry heave, ignoring the growing discomfort of my need. At least I knew what happened to my pants, but I refused to give him my orgasm. He lovingly, quickly, deftly, clicked a restraint on my left wrist. I didn't even realize he had one, where had it come from? While I was trying to determine that he clicked one on my other wrist. "You'll need this to...you'll figure it out" he said gently as he slipped a thick pillow under my hips, kissing from my belly to my thigh. My knees shook as he bent them, placing my feet flat on the bed, and hooked his arms underneath then and around the back of my waist, pulling me closer like a plate of dinner.

He ate me expertly, like a starving man. Just enough sucking, just enough licking. My orgasm rose and I fought it, tears streaming down my face. How could I possibly enjoy this so much? I knew I wouldn't last much longer, but I also knew instinctively that he needed my orgasm. That it was permission. In his mind this was a love story and in some sick corner of mine my defenses were melting. I took my concentration off fighting my orgasm for just a moment, and lost the battle so spectacularly. A warm flush started in the core of my being, but also in the core of the place my womanhood grows from and just as it started to spread I heard my name. I looked at him, he caught my eye, and the world exploded. I'd never cum like that before.

I sobbed openly as he slipped up next to me and whispered encouragement. "Yes, baby. Let it go. Let go for daddy. Such a good girl, look at you squirt. Yes...." He kissed my neck as I shuddered and cried. "Daddy loves you" he whispered, before mounting me. My legs were noodles, I couldn't move them if I tried, but he took them and placed my ankles on his shoulders, holding them there gently as he slipped inside me. Dreamily I felt another orgasm rise. "I thought I'd last longer. Don't worry, I will make love to you many more times before you leave. I can't..you're so deliciously tight. I cant...AHHH" He screamed as what was obviously a very powerful orgasm overtook him and God help me I closed my eyes and came with him.

"You're going to marry me." he whispered in my ear before repositioning the pillow under my hips, kissing my cheek, and rolling over to fall asleep.

Had I heard him right? What planet was he from? I wanted him so badly and could not pinpoint exactly why. I knew, however, that I did not inspire this in him. This was there when he'd first met me. Something about me at the lowest point in my life connected with him and while I understood the alarm bells initially, they were quiet now, which scared me. I could see myself getting lost in him, bearing his children, taking care of these needs regularly and my excitement at the latter scared me. What was happening to me? What inside me connected so readily? As I drifted off to sleep one final alarming detail he must have known occurred to me. I was ovulating.