Discord in the Rhythm of Marriage

I wanted to scream but I didn't want to wake Dawson up so I grabbed my blouse and stuffed it in my mouth to muffle the moaning. I pinched my clit as I shoved my silicone lover as deep as it would go. My eyes rolled back into my head as waves of pleasure cascaded threw my entire being like ripples on a pond after a stone has been cast. I felt my pussy pulsate as my essence squirted out with every pulse. My entire body shook and then blackness engulfed me.

When I returned to my senses I slowly got up and on wobbly legs I managed to stand and eventually exit the tub. I ran some water to rinse away the remnants of my now sated lust. Suddenly it hit me that as I pleasured myself, I imagined it was Jake giving me that intense pleasure and not my husband. I suddenly felt extremely guilty. I crawled into bed next to Dawson but I couldn't fall asleep.

I realized that I had an intense lust for Jake and I was playing with fire, a fire I knew could easily burn out of control and consume me in illicit passion; and if I wasn't careful and in complete control I would get severely burned. Could I control it? No! tonight proved that I most definitely could not! I was Icarus.

Given my wings I knew I would fly too close to the sun. I vowed to never dance with Jake again. I felt a tremendous sense of guilt for having such thoughts running through my mind. I assured myself that I would honor my solemn pledge and the peace of mind, however shaky, it brought allowed me to drift into the arms of Morpheus.

The next morning found me alone in our bed and lost in thought. It isn't as if Dawson isn't handsome, sexy and a wonderful lover who keeps me satisfied not to mention he is a great father and loving and supportive husband. Lately I have felt trapped in my life and the stress of dealing with two young children had me longing for the carefree days when Dawson and I were dating. No work, kids or responsibilities to disrupt us. I long for the passion of lovemaking when it was fresh, new, and held the thrill of the unknown.

Dancing with Jake awakened those memories and has me filled with anticipation of something that is new and exciting and the danger of something taboo just heightened the lust I felt when Jake walked onto that dance floor. How desired I felt when he came over, took my hand and led me to the dance floor. I felt single, carefree, and alive again! I was filled with passion and driven by illicit lust for another man.

Crissy was a party girl always on the lookout for a good time. I met her at the worst possible time in my life when I felt so lost and was so vulnerable. Crissy constantly told me that I deserved a chance to let my hair down, I earned it and Dawson owed it to me to let me have time to myself.

She told me that Dawson was suffocating me and that he didn't want me to be happy. He was an inconsiderate and self-centered jerk. At first, I defended him and told her how he gave me alone time away from the kids. However, her constant diatribe began to have the desired effect and I soon began to resent Dawson and the resentment bore anger. I found fault in just about anything Dawson said or did.

If I wasn't feeling resentment or anger, I felt a sense of tremendous guilt for my behavior and it caused me to push Dawson and the kids farther and farther away. It fueled my darkest desires to recapture my lost youth and the thrill that was lost with Dawson. I focused on my needs and my needs alone and it cumulated in the situation I found myself in tonight.

*******

Unfortunately, the following Friday night we went to the same club where I had met and danced with Jake and shortly after we settled in, I smelled his cologne. So, I turned toward the dance floor and watched him as he sauntered my way. He had a look of determination that steeled the gaze from those baby blues which were focused directly on me.

I felt my heart skip a beat as he neared the table. Finally, he arrived and said, "Hello Mandy! He reached down and grabbed my hand and pulled me up from my seat and simply said, "Let's dance." Next thing I knew I was being "marched" out onto the dance floor. I should've been angry but instead I was turned on by his forcefulness. The first casualty of the evening, resolve!

We spent the next hour on the dance floor. Every slow number Jake's hand's drifted farther down until he grabbed handfuls of my ass while he pulled me into his granite hard cock while he rubbed it against my pussy. I laid my head on his left shoulder and nuzzled into his neck. Shortly after he began to place butterfly kisses on my neck while he alternated between grabbing my ass and stoking the sides of my breasts.

I could feel the light dew turn into a raging river as it flowed freely from my pussy. Soon my panties were flooded with my juices and the excess ran down my inner thighs. I felt the chemistry between us and my scent was strong and grew stronger the longer we danced. I was overwhelmed by primal urges of carnal desire and the air was rife with sexual tension. When Jake suggested we step outside for a breath of fresh air all I could manage to say was, "Lead the way." I was captured behind enemy lines.

Once outside Jake took me into his strong arms and looked deeply into my eyes. I could see all the passion and lust he had for me; it was as if he was staring directly into my entire being. He leaned in and kissed me hard and passionately. His hands began to wander across my body. As he caressed my breasts in earnest, I let him. I realized that I longed to have him sucking and twisting my nipples.

He took my hand and led me to his car that was parked in a dark and secluded area of the parking lot. I thought of how scared I would be if I was alone in the dimly lit area but with Jake, I felt no fear at all. What I did feel was a combination of extremely lust and a small amount of trepidation. I knew why we were going to his car and why he chose to park in this section. It was away from prying eyes. The second casualty of the evening, surrender without resistance!

He unlocked the door and we climbed into the back seat of his car. Once inside we sat there kissing, my tongue probed the inside of his mouth and his did battle with mine and it seemed he was trying to reach my tonsils as he pushed it deep into my anxious mouth.

I mentioned the trepidation and it was due to the thought of my husband who sat alone at home with my children who by now are fast asleep with their dreams for company. Dawson alone in front of the television or perhaps at work in his home office. Dutiful, predictable, and in my mind at the time, dull Dawson. Here I was in tow of a man I hardly knew. Yet I know what he expected, I knew what I wanted to happen and I knew that it would indeed happen once we reached our destination. Once Jake kissed me trepidation was gone and only white-hot lust existed.

It didn't take Jake long to remove my blouse and bra. As he freed my tits my desire to have him twist and suck my nipples became a self-fulling prophesy. As he reached up my skirt to remove my panties, I simultaneously started to unbuckle his belt and unfasten and unzip his pants. I was amazed and delighted that Jake was going commando and his beautiful hard cock popped free of its prison.

I began stroking its length while I admired its girth and the fact that he was uncut. I had never seen little lone been with a man who had a foreskin. I wanted to taste this exotic specimen of manhood in all its uncut glory I longed to have his wonderful and excited member inside me. I sat up and took him into my hungry mouth and as my lips pushed the foreskin back, I wrapped my tongue around the glans. I licked the soft sensitive head Then I licked up and down the turgid shaft.

Jake moaned with ecstasy and it didn't take long for him to reach the point of no return. When I felt the head swell, I knew his load was coming so I took him into my throat as deep as I could. I flicked my tongue along the sensitive underside of his crown and he flooded the back of my throat with his cum.

He literally and figuratively 'painted my tonsils' and I began swallowing as fast as I could but I couldn't keep up with the sheer volume of his ejaculate and some began leaking from the corners of my mouth running down my chin as it dripped onto my tits. Jake responded with an "Ahhhhhhhhhieeeeeeeeee I'm cummmmming!"

As he vocalized his pleasure, pleasure I had provided him I felt a small orgasm hit as my juices flowed freely from my wanton pussy. A pussy enflamed by carnal desire, puffy, swollen and extremely wet.

When he finished cumming I applied pressure with my mouth while I carefully licked his sensitive cock. I worked hard to coax a second erection from him and soon I was rewarded for my effort. When he was sufficiently hard, I slid him from my mouth slowly and sensually as I savored every inch. When he popped from my mouth, I took my finger and scooped up the remnants from my chin and tits and I devoured it as if it was manna from heaven above. Jake said, "Mandy, you're fantastic! That was the best blow job I ever received."

My reward was next as Jake went down on my damp and drenched pussy. Jake had a talented tongue and he lapped up my juices while he licked my wanton slit and when he finally hit and sucked on my clit sent me into a state of frenzy as I was nearly drowning in the continual tsunami of pleasure in an orgasm that was electric and nearly painful in both its duration and intensity.

I nearly passed out. As my orgasm subsided Jake rubbed the head of his cock up and down the extreme wetness of my slit. He thrusted at me but only penetrated with his head. He continued to tease me as he drew his hips back and thrusted only to stop short of penetration time and again. My ravenous lust hit me like a sledgehammer. I not only wanted it but I needed it and felt that I would most assuredly die if my wanton desire wasn't sated soon!

I begged him to give me what I wanted and what I needed to survive. Suddenly, without any warning he thrusted abruptly and was instantaneously balls deep inside my velvet glove. He held it there as a second orgasm overtook my body and I experienced sensory overload for the first time in my life. It felt so good it actually hurt. If the ardency of my first orgasm was TNT the second was nuclear in its intensity and this time, I briefly lost consciousness. At the apex I screamed, "Jake, oh baby, oh my fucking Goddddddddd!!" then it was lights out.

I was brought to consciousness by the speed and fanatical ferociousness of the penis that thrusted in and out of my pussy with rapidity and reckless abandon as Jake sought his second orgasm while mine was continual gaining momentum with each thrust of its savage assault of my pussy. Jake began to perspire and I could taste the saltiness of his sweat as it dripped onto my lips.

Then as matter and anti-matter collided, our universe imploded with one final thrust of his manhood. I felt him as he sent rope after rope of molten hot cum deep within my womb and as it splashed my cervix and coated the walls of my pussy it clenched and milked every drop draining his balls in the process. The intensity, the bliss I felt at the finality of our coupling is indescribable.

He kissed me as he achieved the end of his climax. It seemed hours had evaporated before our post-coital bliss began to ebb and wane into the darkness of a cool early spring night. As I laid there, I wasn't certain if it was evening or early morning. In reality, only an hour and twenty minutes had passed in real time. Neither of us had the strength to speak so in stone silence we began the task of finding our assorted garments strewn about the confines of our four wheeled love-nest. I dressed as best I could in the back seat of the car before exiting the vehicle.

I took a breath of cool night air and made my way back inside. I stopped in the ladies' room and once one was free and clear, I immediately entered a stall. I had purposely stuck my panties into my handbag and Jake's copious amount of cum was running in a stream down the insides of both my thighs.

I began the arduous task of trying to clean up the mess. I took out a couple of wet naps I had leftover from our last visit to Bubba's Best BBQ. I cleaned the dried cum from my tits and chin while stuffing toilet paper up my slit to try and absorb some of the flow of Jake's deposit. I pulled it out and then urinated while I pushed even more of the residuum from deep within me into the toilet. I placed a panty liner into the gusset of my panties and after a final push and thorough wipe I put my panties back on.

I flushed and left the stall. I stopped to wash my hands and face. Then I reapplied my makeup, brushed my hair and joined Crissy and the rest at the table. I arrived as last call was announced. I ordered a rum and Coke and drank it down. Crissy wanted all the dirty details and I gave her some but not all. I had her stop at an all-night drugstore where I bought two disposable douches and I flushed myself out in their restroom.

With that act the guilt began to creep in. I had violated my sacred trust and broke my wedding vows to Dawson. I wanted to swear by everything I held dear that this was a one-off mistake. I desperately wanted to but I knew that I couldn't. The third casualty of the evening, fidelity!

Thus, my affair with Jake began. Soon it graduated from the backseat to the bed in his apartment. From a one-off mistake in judgment to twice and on occasion thrice weekly encounters. However, we never matched the intensity or the pleasure we experienced that first time. A great deal of time passed before I realized the fourth casualty of the evening was self-respect and the fifth, most likely, my marriage and family.

It was as if my mind had been altered. I was racked with guilt yet powerless to stop. I couldn't look Dawson in the eye let alone make love with him. Eventually I couldn't even bring myself to have sex with him in order to meet his basic needs. My frustration with my inability to stop sleeping with Jake and the overwhelming sense of guilt I felt made homelife unbearable. I soon began spending more and more time away from home. Some with Crissy and the girls and some with Jake.

I was spending less and less precious time at home. Even when I was there the angst brought about by my affair left me short-tempered, cross and surly with the ones I loved. I gave that which rightfully belonged to my husband to another man, a virtual stranger. The irony was that the more I did the more intense my guilt and didn't give my husband what was rightfully his, my love, loyalty and fidelity! Yet I couldn't or wouldn't stop.

The past six weeks have led me to the brink of disaster where I found myself this evening; and I wondered if I had already gone over the edge, freefalling and soon to be swallowed up by the depths of my own handcrafted personal hell.

I was thrown out of my home because I was unwilling to give up a weekend with my lover for my husband. My party hearty lifestyle was more important than my marriage and my family. I can't believe I actually got so angry I told him, "Fine, the hell with my life. I'll call and cancel so you can have your precious weekend!" How narcissistic and condescending was that!

For the first time in a long time I realized what a huge mistake I have made in my relationship with Crissy and Jake. I had forgotten and forsaken my husband and children for a bit of tawdry fun. Having come to that sad and disgusting revelation the spell Jake had on me was finally broken. I've acted like a juvenile and I only hoped it wasn't too late. Dawson suspected but I'm sure he had no direct concrete evidence regarding my liaison with Jake. That gave me a brief glimmer of hope that I could salvage my marriage if I acted immediately. So, I suddenly yelled at Crissy, "Get me to the rental car place at the airport right now!"

Crissy was shocked and she said, "What! We're supposed to meet Ron and Jake at the Marriott for a weekend of fun and debauchery. Big comfortable beds, champagne, getting laid and room service for an entire weekend! Even an in-room massage all paid for by the guys!"

"Crissy, my marriage is in trouble and I could lose my kids! I've fucked up big time and I need to fix it. In bed with Jake? No way, not ever again. How could I be so stupid Crissy! If your truly my friend take me to Sawbuck Rentals or drop me here and call me a cab."

"Okay Mandy. I'm sorry and I hope you can smooth things over with Dawson. It was supposed to be some innocent fun and never meant to get so out of hand it would jeopardize your marriage and family." So, she drove me to the airport rental where I grabbed the bag Dawson packed for me from Crissy's trunk, threw away the chocolates (thank God it was cool and they didn't melt all over) and rented a car with on-board GPS. With keys in hand I grabbed my bag opened the trunk and threw my bag inside. I got in the car, started it, and programed the address for the B&B into the GPS before I pulled out.

Then I started out to try and salvage the rest of my life. I had to pull over several times during the hour long drive due to the tears that filled my eyes to the point where I couldn't see the road. I knew with certainty that what drove me to the addictive and destructive relationship with Jake died on the vine in the hour plus drive to what I hoped would be a future that included Dawson, Bobby, Jenny and me together as a family. Yet once I confess what he knew to be true in his deepest and darkest suspicions is indeed substantiated fact, how could he find it in his heart to forgive me and why would he want to in the first place?

Dawson

The drive to the inn was tedious and somewhat perilous as I couldn't seem to stem the flow of tears. Several times I had to pull over to avoid running off the road. When I realized that I could harm innocent people I finally pulled myself together before I got back on the road. It took me and additional forty-five minutes but I finally arrived in town.

I realized that I had lost my appetite so I decided to skip dinner and head straight to the inn. Driving down the main street of town I spied a liquor store. I pulled into the parking lot got out of my car and headed inside. I found the whiskey and I grabbed two bottles of Mr. John Daniel's Old No. 7. I also grabbed a twelve pack Yuengling's Amber Lager and made my way to the counter.

I showed the clerk my ID when asked. I threw in a couple of bags of chips and other junk food. The clerk totaled up my order and bagged it as I inserted my card into the chip reader. I signed the screen and grabbed my bags and headed to the inn. I arrived, checked in and grabbed my bags from the car. I locked the doors and headed inside and up to my room.

I got inside and saw the large Jacuzzi tub. I decided to fill it up and the hot water and jets work. As the tub filled, I lit the gas fireplace and I started to cry as the romantic ambiance got to me. I thought fuck it. I grabbed the two of the wastebaskets and filled them full of ice from the ice maker. I took them back to the room and used them as makeshift coolers and I put the beer into one and the bottles of Jack into the other.

I shut the water off as the tub was filled. I grabbed a glass from the counter and set it on the edge of the tub. I stripped down naked turned on Pandora and as the music wafted throughout my room, I grabbed a bag of peanuts and climbed into the tub. I set the bag of peanuts next to my glass and started the jets. I could feel the strong jets of water as they started to work their magic.

I downed the peanuts, opened a beer and put some ice in my glass. After I took a healthy swig of beer from the bottle, I channeled Pacino's Lt. Col. Frank Slade and said to myself, "Mr. John Daniels is preferred." So, I opened a bottle and poured it over the ice in my glass. I closed my eyes took a sip of the charcoal filtered and mellowed nectar and took a second generous pull on my beer. A process I continued to repeat while the hot water and the pulse of the jets synced in harmony with the music. It didn't take long for my two liquid companions, combined with the soothing sounds and the relaxing heat and pressure of the water had me feeling numb.