All Comments on 'Discovering Amy'

Looking forward to you continuing this story.

More please

Me too

Part 2 is on its way, pending moderator approval

I really enjoyed your story. Looking for more.

Nicely done!!

Nice premise.

Good buildup. But once the sex got going, it went too fast. Not enough details -- particularly when he got close to cumming. At least he could have told her to slow down a but so he wouldn't cum too soon. And the agony of delaying his orgasm needed to be explored in depth.

And he got to see and pay with her naked breasts. Lovely. Glad they weren't humungous. But there was nothing much about how she liked it. How did it make her feel? No asking him if he liked playing with them. No instructions an what he should do. Harder? Softer? Nipples?

Four stars.

A wonderful sexy story, simple plot but very arrosing. Looking forward to more sneaking away adventures.

Good start, could use a bit of build up and character development but a good start... please continue, love to see where this goes.

Hurry up moderator! Got to see when is Amy gonna go back to her praying favorite spot ! Hey I wouldn't pay much atrention to any negative criticism . Just be yourself and let your writings get edited .I bet Amy is gonna love sucking that big cock of his and eventually losing her virginity with pleasurable pain.

Five Stars! Favorite Author!

Pay no attention to the person standing behind the curtain of Anonymous. Excellent story, well told and very beiievable. Love your writing and the way to tell a story. Can't wait for the sequels to each and every one.

Part 2 is now up. You can find it here :

https://www.literotica.com/s/discovering-amy-pt-02

Very nice premise.

Good buildup. But once sex starts it moves along too fast. What was the rush to have him cum tight away? Not enough playing with her boobs once they were bare. And no real description of boobs or nipples.

Four stars.

This is well-written and enjoyable. My only quibble is you don't say when this story took place. If you want us to believe an 18-year-old woman, even a virgin, has only seen a (flaccid) penis in a textbook or a drawing you should have set it before the advent of the internet. If this is supposed to be fairly recent, her utter innocence is unbelievable.

For the person squawking about "Anonymous" - I guess your real name is Bottom_up?

Ah, discovery can be so much fun. A well thought out and written story. I look forward to reading more. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination (memory?) and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.

I found a couple of problems. The first being that these two teenagers are supposedly being raised by extremely conservative and devout parents. But their dialog doesn't really reflect such an upbringing. I grew up with a lot of exposure to other teens who had parents such as this. They would curse when they were in a rebellious mood and far away from the adults. However they were careful not to break the Third Commandment in the process.

They didn't use "Holy", "God", or "Jesus" in connection with any expletives. They even stayed away from Robin, The Boy Wonder style things like "Holy Bank Trucks, Batman!" So a lot of Amy's dialog seemed out of place to me.

Speaking of which, there's a continuity error of sorts when Amy stumbles on repeating the word "cock". She had just finished exclaiming "Holy Crap" and then a few lines later she can't say "cock". The narrator then explains:

"She flinched at the word, not used to using or hearing the "dirty" words too often I suppose."

Not more than a paragraph or two later she's cursing some more. 🤔

You should rewrite the line to indicate that she has difficulty using descriptive words or slang for genitalia instead so that it makes more sense. In case you don't know, it is very easy to submit edits for your already published stories. Feel free to email me if you need any help with it.

It's a pretty good little yarn, but because of the above issues, I voted 4/5.