All Comments on 'Dissertation Offense/Defense'

people say it all the time but i would like to see a sequel to this. The meeting of opposites, the overcoming of past in the meeting of present, as well as the depth you gave to the story with the area of study and how you wrote it were all fantastic. there is still a lot to overcome for these two and i want to see how they end up.

great work, keep writing

I reluctantly gave you a 4, and I will tell you why. I loved your character development. There were a few minor holes, but in a short story that is to be expected. I really think you could expand this to a novel and flesh out the characters more completely. Well done on your decision to start slow.

I enjoyed the time-line of the story, the way you allowed it to develop itself, with the interesting interludes, i.e. the elevator. You gave the feel of real people, not just two fictitious characters that jump in the sack and make animal noises. Good job. Again, I think this could well be fleshed out more completely in a novel form, but you work with the format you have.

Where I docked your score was on your editing, of lack thereof. There were several gender changes, and grammatical errors that are easy to make, and easy to overlook on a cursory proof-read when one jumps right to it following the writing of the tale. I know. I've done it myself, and have had to resort to letting the story sit a couple of days to allow me to read it without it being fresh in my mind. It is much easier to pick them up in that manner. An outside editor will pick up on them much more quickly, because he/she will not be reading it with the story line in mind.

Overall, a good story, and I look forward to reading more of your writing in the future.

I gave it 3* purely because it needs a lot of editing.

My favorite line: Sex, when done well, requires clean up.

Great story!

5

but being native to the DC area, GW's Business School is in Foggy Bottom, not Georgetown. I went to grade school about a block or two from GW.

Thank you.