Do It or Lose It

She reached up and touched my chest, running her hands over it, brushing her fingers through the light hair in the narrow channel between my abs. Carissa seemed as enthralled by my nipples as I was with hers. They hardened against my palms as I helped myself to those soft, jostling mounds of warm flesh. From time to time, Carissa craned her head to glance at our hips, moving with urgency, as if keen to glimpse the thick appendage that she could feel gliding through her depths. She seemed startled and perhaps a little amused at how generously her body coated it with a viscid film.

After a while, a change of positions was sorely needed. As she flipped over, I kneeled down behind her and felt something damp against my knees. Looking down I saw that she had left a huge, dark wet stain on the futon, still fragrant and a little slippery. I scooted us a few inches to the left, enjoying the view of the deeply swinging boobs hanging beneath her chest as she shimmied over. The large mounds of her buttocks wavered as she moved her legs further apart and pressed her hips back, expanding the sopping flesh of her wet pussy in my direction. I was so anxious to slip smoothly back inside her that I grabbed hold of her bum before she even finished settling into place. With a groan I sunk myself back into the slick canal that awaited me, then resumed thrusting, driving deeper and deeper into the humid interior of her body and watching myself glide back outward again, further coated in her warm emissions.

Carissa began moaning loudly, pressing her face down into the soft cushion beneath us, her face twisted into a wonderful crisis. "Oh god! Evan..." she whimpered suddenly.

Those were the first words she had spoken out of lust. Any shred of shyness that remained could no longer compete with the raw experience of pleasure seizing her body at that moment.

"Carissa..." I moaned, wanting to return the favor of saying her name in a fit of erotic crisis.

The moment I said it, she squealed into the mattress, then she emerged again, gasping for breath. She turned her head slightly, glancing back at me. Her expression had completely changed. She no longer looked like herself. Her hair was plastered to her forehead. She was sweaty. Unraveled. Lost.

"Ngh..." she muttered. "Fff-fuck me," she continued, quietly, her voice briefly quaking.

"Mmgh! Carissa..." I groaned. I felt myself letting go of all inhibitions. I threw my head back, dizzy from the shower of sparks raining down my spine. "Your pussy feels so good..." Indeed it did. Her inner walls, viscous and warm, squeezed me from all sides, milking me with her deepest muscles.

"Yes!" she cried out before taking another gasp of air. "Mmmmh," she moaned again, before flirting with her continued desire to vocalize her passions. "I love your c- I love your hard cock!"

Her words were so charged, so flecked with self-indulgent taboo that the futon could barely muffle her words. High on adrenaline and driven wild by the thrill of her own pleasure I pumped inside her as fast and hard as I could, listening to the slap of my body against her soft flesh and the flopping of her loose breasts.

As the scent of her cum grew stronger and stronger, her body seeming to turn to liquid, I realized that I could also hear sounds of the other couples around the room. There was a chorus of unfamiliar cries and moans. The sounds of bodies smacking together. Occasionally, a barely decipherable fragment of dirty talk emerged as someone begged to be fucked or frantically remarked about how wet or hard their partner was.

The image of Leah being fucked briefly flashed into my head and I found myself searching for her cries but the sounds were so indistinct, so interwoven, that we just sounded like one single act of carnality, spreading across the room through multiple bodies. So we just went on fucking, moaning, begging, reeking of sex until I could see that neither of us had much left to give.

Carissa didn't have to tell me when she was about to have an orgasm. She couldn't have told me if she tried. Her body quaked with such an intensity that I saw all her faculties shut down until all that was left was the limp shell of a body. It thundered back and forth, having lost all sense of anchoring, rippling with the force of my thrusts, our shared lust, until I felt myself nearing the end.

I briefly thought of Leah, somewhere else in the space, breathless, sweaty, cupping some guy's face as he fucked her mercilessly. I could see the look of desperation in her eyes so clearly. A powerful sensation welled up inside me. I almost felt like it was me she was gazing at. That was all I needed for the dam to burst.

"I'm gonna come!" I growled.

Carissa suddenly seized control of her body again and slid off me. Flipping quickly back onto her butt, she grasped my glistening cock and gazed up at me as if to ask permission. Of course, she didn't have to ask permission! I nodded frantically at her and watched as she took me completely inside her mouth, surprised at the taste of her own body mixed with mine.

She sucked forcefully, even more thrillingly than when we started. I closed my eyes and released all sense of control. I could feel myself about to detonate. Without warning, I exploded into her mouth. I felt her jerk in response to my first spasm, then recover immediately and work greedily for more. Spurt after spurt doused her tongue and filled her mouth completely as I had been pushed to the absolute limits. She seemed to want to laugh.

Carissa managed to swallow everything I had and even polished me off with her tongue until I was as clean as I had been when I arrived. I gazed down at her, with those wild eyes, that unhinged expression, that experience of having shattered all our boundaries together.

She was completely different than the girl that walked into that room. We were both changed.

Afterward, we lay there on the futon staring upward at the ceiling, panting rapidly and listening to the last audible frenzies of lust raging all around us. We didn't speak much. I didn't quite know what to say, but it was fine. Our smiles said everything we could possibly have wanted to communicate.

As the activity around the room began to die down and fall silent, my mind drifted back to Leah again. As good as I felt, as satisfied as my body was, having purged itself of all physical impulse and need, I still felt emotionally lost. I missed her. She was somewhere nearby. Perhaps in the room just next to me. Where was she? Who were we to each other, really?

Pin drop silence was Jenna's cue to summon the women from our rooms. She must have been listening to the whole thing; picturing each of us in there, engaged with each other in so many spirited ways. Carissa got up and we exchanged a brief kiss, shared a quiet smile, and then simply said "bye."

It was odd. Such a simple, brief word after all that we'd just experienced together.

I listened to the girls getting dressed again outside, stretching out wide on the futon and watching my hand rise and fall as it lay across my warm, clammy stomach. The scent of Carissa's body was still soaked into the mattress, it still hung in the air all around me, as did mine.

When it was our turn, I joined the men wandering out of their rooms, each of us quite a bit more amused and excited than we were going in. A huge weight had been lifted from our shoulders. There was a newfound, bold confidence in our steps.

Fully clothed again, we returned to the room we had started in. The girls were already there, seated in the same chairs. Their eyes were all over us. Everyone's gears were turning. No one said a word. I thought about how funny it was that we were instantly back to being mute again after we had just listened to each other begging to be sucked, licked, fucked, or simply screaming out in pleasure.

As soon as I took my seat, I made immediate eye contact with Leah. She sat there staring at me with a look of incredulous amusement. I smirked and her face broke out into a wide grin. She was turning red again. We sat there busily trying to read each other's thoughts and emotions after what we just experienced together, hard as it was to believe. I could feel her grabbing my shoulders and giving me a hard stare as she often did when excited. I could hear her repeating the words, "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god," over and over.

Jenna led a brief group discussion with optional participation where we had a chance to share our feelings about what just happened, after revealing whom we had interacted with. It felt so surreal. I guess I hadn't anticipated how much like a workshop the event would be.

Aubrey, the artist girl, proudly announced that she had sex with the muscular guy, Fred. I badly wanted to know who Leah had been with having thusly realized that she hadn't received her top pick, given the eyes she had for Fred. He smiled suddenly at Aubrey from across the circle. She smiled back and talked about how good it felt to lose all inhibitions with a stranger and to not have the pressure of a serious relationship hanging over their intimacy.

Only a handful of people chimed in. Leah stayed silent. Jenna asked around to see if anyone else wanted to say something. Most people passed.

When she got to me I just spoke aimlessly about how fascinating it was to wonder who I'd be paired with after meeting everyone, and the anticipation of not knowing. Then I accidentally let slip that I also wondered if I'd end up with the person who brought me. I didn't mention Leah by name but I saw her perk up, surprised that I even mentioned this.

Jenna explained that when she randomly assigns partners she avoids pairing anyone up with their plus-one since the spirit of the activity is to interact with a complete stranger. Upon learning this, I felt bad that, in fact, I could never have been paired with Leah for this reason. Then I felt relieved as this pressure was released and sank into the comfortable bliss of what I shared with Carissa, without having to suffer any guilt about what I'd missed out on. Next, I felt bad again, imagining Jenna casting some dice, picking Leah as my partner and then having to forcibly re-pair us because those were the rules.

Leah and I left that place and walked out to the car. For a while, the ride was a little awkward as we both seemed to be dwelling on the event in silence. She broke it by saying, "So... you got that busty bundle of nerves, did you?" Her mouth broke into a wry grin.

I chuckled. "Yeah, why?"

"Nothing... Just interesting."

"Who did you get?"

"David," she said abruptly.

I pictured the shy, slightly nerdy guy in the flannel-print shirt that I had observed earlier that evening. I pictured the two of them fucking each other and sucked the air in through my teeth. He had to have come into that evening a virgin and subsequently left it behind there, right on that futon. I didn't want to admit it but I couldn't help but imagine he was strangely desirable to women, having that Clark Kent kind of nerdy handsomeness that he was probably completely oblivious to.

I wasn't prepared for how jealous and angry I felt at that moment. It took over me like a storm. Here I was desiring Leah for years and years and then all of a sudden this guy comes along, whom she doesn't even know, who probably could barely speak a word to a girl, and she gives him what was probably the best sex he'll ever have in his life.

I felt myself struggling to get words out. "What was it like?" I finally replied.

Leah was quiet for a few moments. "It was kinda funny and kinda amazing," was her reply.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I mean, he wasn't experienced or anything, but that's what made it interesting. I could tell he was super attracted to me. I think what got me was seeing how badly he wanted me. And how determined he was to pleasure me, even if he was a little awkward. It was cool knowing that we'll probably never see each other again and just feeling free to follow whatever urges we had at that moment and not have to even address them later. It was very liberating!" She began laughing.

I forced a smile. "So you finally made good on your fantasy!"

"Yeah!" She was grinning ear to ear and seemed lost in thought. Finally, she snapped out of it. "Thanks to you!"

"You're welcome," I chuckled.

"But you know..." she continued. "It was so different. Like... there were so many things that were great about it. But there are also so many things that were absent, which you have with a romantic partner. You know? I don't know what else to say but... just that they're a lot different. Good in different ways."

I understood what she was trying to say and based on her earlier comment, I began to think that what Leah really wanted to get from sex with a stranger was positive validation without any strings attached. After a spate of failed relationships, she must have wanted to separate out what made her feel good from what somehow always seemed to sour things. I supposed it made sense and I couldn't blame her. However, that didn't change the fact that I thought we could offer each other much more.

"Anyway," she blurted, abruptly shaking her head. "What was Carissa like?"

I laughed. "Really, really shy! Like your guy. It was awkward at first. I guess we both were. But it was fun to see her transform and open up and want to get down and dirty!"

Leah snickered. "Oooh, sounds hot!" She cast me a wicked grin.

"Ha-ha, yeah. It was..." I smiled and stared at the road in front of us.

I could feel Leah's eyes occasionally on me but I couldn't get myself to look at her.

***

A week passed and Leah and I didn't say one word to each other.

That was unusual for us. It felt strange. I wasn't exactly sure the reason why it was happening. I wondered if we were both waiting for the other to send a random text and reopen the comfortable line of communication we had always had, which had never suffered a break like that before.

Finally, I texted her. I said, "Hey, how's it going? I'm almost fully recovered from our little event. You?" Then I added a winking face emoji.

After fifteen minutes or so of biting my nails, she finally replied. I felt relieved to see her greet me excitedly. She even said she'd been thinking about me. I said likewise. We chatted for a bit and then she asked, "Oh! Hey, you wanna hang out this weekend? I ran into April and Matt. They've been having people over at their new apartment and they told me to bring you."

I readily accepted. I badly wanted to spend time with Leah and make sure that nothing we did caused any complications between us. Even if it had to be in a social setting, I jumped at the opportunity to make sure we were still good.

***

"No one's weird about sexy dares, right?" Matt said with a wry grin. He emerged from the adjacent room with a second bottle of Côtes du Rhône and a small red and black box. The question reverberated around the room for a few moments.

I looked over at Leah. She sat there as beautiful as ever; her long brown hair curled back behind one ear, those penetrating blue eyes staring straight into my soul, her soft, easy smile making my knees go weak. Knowing how mischievous Matt and April were, Leah and I soon exchanged a worried look. The two of them could be even more dangerous together.

I then glanced over at Nathan and Samantha, mutual friends of ours who had also come to check out the new apartment as well. They were the perfect couple; both attractive, perfect chemistry, outgoing, fun to be around. I felt a little awkward on account of the fact that Leah and I were the only non-couple in the room.

Samatha shared the same worried look with Nathan and uttered, "Um... what kind of dares are we talking about, exactly?"

"Adult party game," April chimed in. "It's preeetty raunchy. But you can always chicken out and let everyone shame you for it."

Samantha laughed. "Okay..." she said cautiously, before looking at Leah and me. I saw Leah gulp and nod knowingly at her.

As we approached the long coffee table around which April instructed us all to sit, Leah meekly added, "Do any, uh, clothes have to come off?" She seemed genuinely nervous. I found that interesting, given the event we had recently attended. However, the idea of playing a sexy adult game with her already had me brimming with nervous excitement.

April whistled.

"That depends on what cards you draw," laughed Matt. "But who cares, we're all close friends here. What difference does it make if we just get to know each other a little bit more intimately?" A huge grin continued to stretch across his face as he took a seat and opened the cardboard box.

The title on the box read, "Naughty Neighbors: After Dark Edition."

I couldn't help but feel a sense of disbelief about our hosts. Leah had once told me that April confided in her about going to some kind of sexual play party with Matt a couple of years prior. It was anyone's guess what kind of shenanigans they'd gotten themselves involved with since then. They were the only people I knew that would ever do something like that. - Well, at least up until what Leah and I did together. I immediately wondered if Leah had told April about what we had done. Maybe she had? Perhaps that was why April and Matt assumed we'd play along with the evening entertainment?

April's eyes flashed at me and appeared to be trying to read my thoughts. She smirked. I quickly looked away.

"So what are the rules?" asked Nathan, settling into a cross-legged position next to his girlfriend.

"I mean..." Matt mused, "We don't necessarily have to play by the rules. Basically, you get dare cards, confession cards, and mystery cards. You start with five cards and then just draw one and discard one. You'll get the idea. Most people try to avoid doing the dares and just decide to answer one of the revealing questions. But that's what the mystery cards are for... You might be forced to do a dare."

"And what if we refuse?" asked Samantha, still full of reluctance.

April rolled her eyes. "Don't be such a fucking prude, Samantha!" she laughed.

Matt was already well on his way with the eager distribution of each of our hands, issuing the five little cards that would soon determine our fates. Each of us stared at them as they turned into small piles and then cautiously took them up into our hands. There was silence as we stared in shock at the hands we were dealt, the wildly revealing things we'd have to answer, and the unthinkable dares that we were sure to discard as quickly as possible.

"Yeah... no..." mumbled Samantha. "That card's got to go. I wouldn't even do that with Nathan in the privacy of our own bedroom." Leah and I burst into laughter while watching Nathan lean over curiously to take a peek at the card she was referring to. He just chuckled and shook his head.

"Uh, what does it mean by 'opposing team'?" Nathan asked, returning attention to his own cards and peering at them curiously.

"Fuck teams. Everyone is on their own team," April said decisively.

We started off simple, tolerating the least distressing of the confession cards and quickly discarding as many dares as we could so as to not get caught with them. Each of the dares came complete with a whimsical illustration designed to titillate and to demonstrate what was to be executed. As I tried to fill my hand with confession cards and prioritize the rejection of the worst of the dares, I found myself intrigued by a "fingering" dare. It sported a line drawing of a wide-open vagina penetrated by someone's finger, somehow both terrifying and yet offering relief from the more intimidating alternatives.

As the game ensued, I had to reveal how many sexual partners I'd had. Matt had to share whether or not he'd ever tried anal sex. Samantha was required to describe the loss of her virginity, which she detailed as awkwardly as the act itself apparently had been. Poor Nathan had to explain who he most wanted to have sex with at work and describe how. - Needless to say, Samantha was not amused.