All Comments on 'Doing The Right Thing Lasts Forever'

Great story!

5

It is absolutly true - Grandchildren are God's Gift.

5*

what a bizarre 'ending' and frankly, very fragmented writing style, constantly taking the reader out of immersion in the story. Could have been good, but somehow, you made sure it wasn't.

Very nice. The romance took off a bit too quickly after the JR announcement but other than that, well done. 5/5

A NICE story, and I like nice stories.

Especially from someone who knows about the triceps surae (Bob _was_ massaging Laura's legs, after all!)

The only thing I would have changed was them standing behind Jr fucking around and getting the side piece knocked up.

redlion75 I hear you but I was tying to convey that even though JR was a "bunch wild" his family made sure he met his fatherly duties and that Ashley had to met her motherly duties. They were to immature to procreation much less start a marriage but I am from a generation that parents worked to keep new family together after all Bob wanted to be a favorite uncle! I did have a little more on JR and Ashley journey to maturity, but I was trying to keep the length of my story in my self imposed 10,000 word limit give or take couple hundred z

lAnatomiste I had to dig deep in my "coaching" memory of muscles Its been 45 years since I coached

thank you all for your input.

It was a solid story until they professed their love for each other and then the plot lines turned to shit. I mean WTF? 3.7*

A good author listens to friendly criticism. Dave responded well.

Dave, I like 4 page stories and I like your stories.

However, you self-imposed word limit sort of took any depth out of the story, leaving the reader disappointed. Next time do the full story and don't count words. If in the end you have to break a 30,000 word story into three chapters do so. Just make sure that it is all polished and ready to go so the the chapters are ready to be posted about a week apart.

You are good story teller and have a clear understanding of what makes a good marriage.

Wishing you the best, my friend.

The Hoary Cleric

I liked the story. It did feel like something was missing and the end felt rushed. From the previous comments it seems that some story detail was deliberately left out to keep the story a certain size. For me if I had a choice between shorter story worth less detail or longer with full story I would rather read the longer one. Your a good writer; why purposely limit yourself and stunt your stories? Looking forward to reading more of your work.

Your obsession with anal and fisting runs counter to my definitions of sex in romance stories. To each their own I guess, but after reading about these acts in two of your stories, I think I'll pass from here on. I don't think I'm an outlier in Lit romance readership

it was decent. i dont think i could be that mature. even if i fell in love with the other brother. i be dammned if the other wife would be in my wedding. come sure but stand with me hell no. and no one is using my wedding day to reaffirm their love. fuck the bullshit

The wives were never enemies JR was the "Bad boy."

Ashley and Laura did not know of each other till just before the wedding JR was lucky her did not end up dead! By either one of them.

I have a two part story coming up soon over 6,000 words each part. Hope you all read it.

Thanks for the constructive criticism it is helpful, (Now if this old man can remember it while I write)