All Comments on 'Doing Time Ch. 02'

The style in this story is very interesting — unusual, but really quite clear. Reflects the state of mind of the main character, which is, for good reason, a bit unhinged.

Only difficult part is turning this into a 'happy ending.' <br><P>

But looking forward to one of your creative solutions!<br><P>

Of course you won't please HIV, but fer gods sake, you gotta give a writer some latitude!

You need some polish and smoothness to it. You dont love a whore you support her. This woman was a whore, totally and completely, why would he even want to be around her much less fight for her. The guy was a martial arts master, even with a vase it would have been self defense in his own home. He needed a lawyer with brains. Going looking for a whore after so many years means finding someone if still alive on drugs and most likely with HIV/AIDS. Get real here guy.

You are the man!!!!. Awesome story. Really enjoyed reading it. I just hope Jim gets what he deserves. It was great that Jim killed that bastard. Angela is a selfish women, she left Alf for Jim & then Jim for Stan. I do agree with one of the reader that Jim should try his hand on the young lady in the bank & get on in his life. Who knows what's in store tomorrow. It's "Romance" story tomorrow so I hope something better will be there. Hell, I really wish I had a time machine. Thanks for the good story.

if he is discharged from the company for an interoffice romance. Companies have a strict no-romance policy between managers and employees. They need this because of lawsuits and even though there are some hot women in my department...I don't even pay attention to their "assests" because they are my employees. The best thing for her would be to sue the company because her boss told her to put out or she's fired (even if he didn't say that) and collect the big ass money a lawyer with half a brain could get her.

Well we know how he wound up in jail, and he had the misfortune of being involved with heartless slut. Now all we need to find out as how he made his money. I hope that he can get some satisfaction or revenge on the slut who caused his trouble. Although; he was quite a little on the simple side to get involved with a married woman in the first place.A well written story and very coordinated, it reads very easy. Thanks ....Rich

Is this what you have as writers here? No wonder pay sites are so popular compared to the crap available here.

I like happy endings. At least you warned the readers that don't like happy endings.

now we knew why was he in jail. Who was his lawyer?? must be a dumb person. What he did was "Self Defence". Angela was a cheater, She's a cheater & she'll be a cheater till she dies. She cheated on her husband Alf with Jim. She's nothing but a money hungry women. I assume the money Jim has must be given by Angela or he must had made some contacts in jail. Some gangster must have helped him. I may be wrong. I'm still telling you make Jim & the young women at bank couple. Show them getting married, Angela dies from AIDS. Show romantic side of Jim but not with Angela. As the next chapter is romance I just hope Jim get a new love. New car, new life so why not new wife. What's the point in searching the cheater wife.

Is there a special team that is tasked with searching and collecting all the rejects from other sites for publishing here?

I wonder what the literotica crowd would think of William

Faulkner....... or James Joyce... if one of them made a contribution from beyond the grave!

I am looking forward to the solution to the mysteries.

Can't wait for the conclusion; really enjoy your tales.

the story but a guy who is invading the home of sombody else with 2 guards and then by accident is falling very unfortunately a judge will never with all the circumstances come to 12 years, maybe 2 to 3 maybe not even that

I enjoyed this chapter. Sometimes it seems we were jumping around a little too much. You still have my attention and I'm waiting with baited breath for the happy ending. Can they really be getting back together? Oh well, we'll see...

I like the idea the this is Jim's first story. I would expect it to be unpolished. I now expect Ch 3 to be much better since he has had some time to develop his style. I have one nit to pick and it is one that some others have noted. Once it was established that Stan was a martial arts expert, Jim has justification in using a blunt instrument to level the playing field. It falls into the "reasonableness" category. Given that Stan and his sidekick physically tried to abduct his wife from his arms,in their home, the use of a weapon against a martial artist and his sidekick is doubly justified. Finally, "I need to teach this tosser a lesson" is a clear threat.**** Since Stan is dead and Angela can have no expectation of gain from him anymore, it becomes Jim's word against the sidekick. Jim's imprisonment would not particularly advantage Angela, nor does her reaction suggest any vindictiveness that would want her to give evidence against him, despite losing her next move.****However, as already said this is Jim's first attempt at writing, so maybe we don't have the full story yet. I'm looking forward to the final chapter. Personally, after so long in prison, I'd torch the bitch.

That was one of the closing lines in the movie "Midway" said by Henry Fonda about what Charlton Heston would have said. The same applies her, it just doesn't make sense. Go back to prision and try again. However, I can see that that was a setup by the husband and wife. She was either blackmailing Stan or waiting in the wings for her hubby and the money comes from her and he will see her again, just a thought.

he said this author would screw this up... Harry was right.

Stan the 62 year old Martial arts expert ATTACK James in James home... and uses Physical force to Grab his wife away from James...

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and JAMES go to Jail? is this a fucking British Monty Python Joke???

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In chapter 1 I predict Britease would place the wife in a HUGE hole of whch it was impossible to climb out of.

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1. she cheated on James

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2. Got him a arrested

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3. Knew the TRUTH yet did nothing to help James

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4. James was innocent of the crime

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Turns out I am 4 for 4... a perfect plot deduction.

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Figuring out a Britease story is like takin candy from a baby

How many of the people reading this story are unaware that in recent years, self-defense, even in your own home, in the UK is not a defense. There are a number of well-known cases over there of people in prison for defending their lives and property. That also seems to be one of the reasons why so-called 'hot burglaries' (committed while there are people in the house) is 13 times more common in the U.K. than in the U.S. Over here, we would just pull out the ol' 1911 ACP, or a 12-gauge and be done with it.<br><P>

So much for the old English common-law, 'a man is king in his own castle.'

Thank you. At last someone has noticed that this story takes place in the UK, where, incredible though it may seem, we do not have the same laws and practices as you do in the USA. Despite what you may think, a custodial sentence of this length would not be out of order in recent legal cases. Remember, Jim used a weapon, and was seen attacking Stan the night before as well. I did make a big point of emphasising that, but some of you seem to have missed the point.

Oh well, it's only a bit of fun anyway.

Fabulous Cant wait to read the next bit. Spent half the night reading your stories and love them all.

I ended up hating the story. Nothing sexy; too unpleasant; and the guy is just too damn stupid.

I'm not really understanding why he'd want her back. I don't like this story, she cheated & left her husband (Alf) when she met Jim, yet Jim was too fucking stupid to realize he should've left the bitch where he found her, than she leaves Jim for her boss.... How stupid can a man be? So I must again ask. "why would he want her back"?! She has no sense of loyalty , respect or love for any of these stupid men, but at least alf moved on with his life instead of dwelling about a bitch who didn't give two fucks about him.... I think I'm going to stop reading at this point because the husband is just a pussy wimp (like in all of your stories) ! I'm sure the pussy will take the bitch back ... I have no sympathy for Jim he deserve everything the bitch did & will continue to do in the foreseeable future..:

Angela and the bodyguards committed perjury, it is unlikely Jim would have been charged let alone convicted at trial. He was attacked inside his own house by a man whom he knew to be a martial arts expert and was defending himself. All three witnesses would have had to testify that Jim started an unprovoked attack resulting in the accidental death of Stan.

But let's not let reality get in the way of a good story.

before reading the previous comments on self defence and Britease 's comments on British law. Use of reasonable force is justified in self defence even in British law. Jim didn't use a gun and the death was accidental.

I stand by the previous comment that unless (false) testimony was provided that Jim ATTACKED Stan, he could not have been convicted of manslaughter or even GBH (assuming Stan had been severely hurt rather than killed).

I am looking forward to the happy ending you have promised in the next chapter. Too many stories recently with out a happy ending.

Why a happy ending? Unless the happy ending is Angela (what is it with women named Angela seem to turn out to be cheating whores) seeing him and dying of a heart attack? To me that's a happy ending! I guess we'll see..

I don't see how a man, in his own house, fighting for his wife against a bigger man that was highly trained in martial arts, EVER gets convicted of murder. Did his wife testify against him? Otherwise Stan's threats and his skill would have been all a jury needed to find him not guilty. Well written, but highly improbable.

"The Law Sir. Is an ass, Sir!"

A conviction in a Court of Law is not always proven guilt.

I for one, will NOT consider reuniting with Angela a happy ending!

She was an ambitious cunt (sorry for the insult to cunts everywhere!) who betrayed him.

She deserves nothing but misery.

Thanks for sharing.

or as the Brits say the game is afoot,.TK U MLJ LV NV

really guys out there who wouldn't have walked away after they found out about Alf? Really?

not.

Next time you smack old Stan, make sure he doesn't fall in the hearth. He went to prison, but he sent Stan to hell. Not a bad trade. Now let's do for the wife.

never happen in Britain, manslaughter yes but murder is BS. TK

Why didn't Angela speak up for him at trial,saying he was protecting her,it was self defence not manslaughter.

Why would he want a lunatic like that for a wife? The wife is a selfish witch.

A lot of this authors stories use the premise that love is blind. It isn’t.

Ergo these stories whilst well written will always fall flat until you approach them as what they truly are, comedies.

Where the Keystone Cops and Laurel and Hardy are fine exemplars of physical slapstick, these stories are the equivalent of emotional slapstick with the main protagonist comparable to a Mr Bean caricature, dropped into a situation he has no control over and no idea what’s going on.

Read in that way you really don’t care what happens it’s just funny reading how it all unfolds.

Cuck Alf, kill big Stan, your a fool. LOVE. Slap hapy papy #9

Quit reading. Let little head overrule big head. Lust not love. Finds out lied married and still living with husband and!!! Stupid pills included in diet also? No more

Too many authors write in beginning clearly lust and then try to change completely around.

what an idiot but a well written moron though i am betting he earns nothing

Bravo! Well written in the first person. Many questions are left unanswered. It holds the readers attention. There is always animosity towards the cheating wife but this woman was leading two lives and it is a fascinating story.

He packs a pretty good punch!

5

He took many many stupid pills.

Knew a lot and disregarded for the little head

Whore certainly wasn't worth it by any stretch of the imagination. Hoping by the time he gets out the STD's will have done her in.

Husband was an idiot. Once he learned about Alf, he should have run away...

"Still loved her"? What a waste of everyone's time. 1 star, for what COULD have been an OKish story.

Could have done without all the speculating. The MC appears to be a snowflake.

Wow. That is messed up justice system. I suppose Ted and even the Bitch lied about the altercation. But murder? Does the UK not have manslaughter? He has already been punched once by this guy in a crowded restaurant. Thr asshole has a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. The sidekick he threw would cause a wound that was pretty clear upon examination. It would also be clear that he got hit by an uppercut. The falling down and cracking his head was the cause of death. Clearly it was not with malicious intent to murder the asshole. No amount of witness lies would force a murder charge with that forensic evidence. Or does the UK not have a manslaughter charge? That wasn't even third degree murder in the US. It was a fistfight where the other guy was a martial artist. Yes he does jail time for some level of manslaughter, especially with no camera footage and the lies of the witnesses. But murder? Umm nope.