All Comments on 'Don't!!!'

Unbearable and

childish ostentation

Humorous and very hot

I enjoyed the story immensely. The anonymous (put your name on your comment if you dare!) commenter says it is ostentatious. It's a fictional fantasy, so of course much of it is not realistic. Go read a documentary if you want something real. For me, the slow build up and interaction between Susan and Jake make for enjoyable reading. I hope the author produces more like this.

Not a billionaire, so couldn't relate to Jake. IRL, I was lucky enough to find my own auburn-haired beauty with tits bigger than Susan's. Where you really blew it was the shower scene. If he's that big a tit man, she takes his soapy dick between her slippery tits in the shower and blows his mind right out the door. My wife did that for me! Susan is arm candy and will realize it in two weeks. She'll sue Jake for 10% of his net worth and win it. The most appealing character in the story was Rex. And you could use an editor / proofreader. Not bad, but not good.

Could have been an awesome story, but got really dumb about halfway in.

More time and effort went into describing the various meaningless trappings of wealth the story was constructed around than on the feelings of the two characters that were ostensibly the focus of the narrative. The result was a 4 page declaration of love to the gaudy use of money.

I don't know why people who don't know anything about food and wine insist on putting it in their stories. I was uncomfortable with the pinot noir (a dry red with lox???) and lox and bagels, but I went along until we got to the potato chips and lox and bagels. Yuchhh!. A nice touch might have been capers with the lox - maybe a slice of tomato on top. I assume Marcus and Gould were supposed to be Jewish, but NYBoss is not worth staying with. I quit after the potato chips appeared, but apparently others slogged their way through although i saw one person who quit after it got too awful half way through. I do have to make a point of remembering this author's name and avoiding it in the future. (He'll probably have wine coolers with his brisket next.) 2* to be polite

Let's see, Jake completes a BS from Brown at 22, an MBA from Harvard at 24, becomes a Navy SEAL typically requiring a 3-5 year enlistment commitment AFTER completing 2 1/2 years of BUDS and advanced training. Then in the ensuing 3-5 years to the time of this tale, he becomes a multi-billionaire tech icon.

And the things that wealth brings. Like the world's only Porsche Taycan 4S with a "stick" shift. The Taycan is an EV.

This could have been a good story with a bit more realism.

Good story!

5

Weary and boringly over the top,

You were lucky. Usually such a lousy story gets a 1* from him. I would have given this a 2*, but since he was so nice, I’ll give you the 1* to make it even.

Oh boy. So unrealistic

Wow, thought I had seen some tough clouds in the past but these comments are unreal. Seems the National Geographic Documentary crowd showed up tonight. Anonymously of course!

Don’t know where I went wrong, folks, but I enjoyed it. This is fantasyland and I come here looking for erotic fantasies and this author didn’t disappoint.

5 stars for my first time read by this writer and plan to sample more of his wares.

Cheers

SAGE

I'm on page 2 and almost ready to give up. Her brown shorts suddenly became jeans. Then Rex was re-named Max (or his uncle grew a tail).

I agree with most of critical comments above on the overuse of trappings of wealth.

The story began with a reasonable premise that was appealing but it quickly deteriorated.

Good story, however a Porsche TayCan (4S or otherwise) is an electric car. It does NOT have a stick shift.

He shared his wealth so give him a LOT of leeway...

You painted a very attractive picture of her...LOVE women that keep things natural, and also attracted to women that go commando...she's a 10.....