Double Helix Ch. 17

So, Owen, it turned out, was nearly as spectacular in bed as he was a joy to look at. Not only that, he seemed to like what I did for him just as much. We were practically made for each other. Oh, and did I mention that he was Welsh? That accent was sexy as fuck.

For the next few months, we spent all of our free time together. When we weren't in bed, we were out together having meals, catching a show or movies, or just walking hand-in-hand on the beach. He seemed like a genuinely nice and sincere person, and I had met far too few of those since coming to LA. This was around the height of my career, such as it was, so I was comfortable, despite the high cost of living, and Owen seemed to be doing at least as well as I.

I started to think, maybe this is the one. Maybe this is the guy I bring home to meet my parents. Maybe marriage? Kids? He had told me that he loved me one night, and while I couldn't quite bring myself to return the sentiment, I thought I would be there soon. I figured that there was no reason to rush things. We had all of the time in the world to just enjoy each other's company. We couldn't have guessed that the end of the world was coming in just a few short years.

But then I noticed that I was seeing less of my Niri. We went from having sex every night to once or twice a week, and there was always something going on at work that needed his attention. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, but it was all too easy to recall the jealous stares that I got from the women around us, the way the girls practically drooled when they heard him speak. And then there was the way he responded. Playfully, skirting the line between friendliness and outright flirtation. It had always bothered me, but I had hoped he would start to change.

I gave him a chance to come clean, asked him if he still cared about me when he once again claimed that he had to work late. He gushed over me for a good ten minutes, telling me how wonderful I was, and how sorry he felt that he had to be pulled away once again. I wanted to believe him, but I remembered what Jared had taught me. I waited for the next long day at work and then waited across the street in my car. He came out, right on time for a normal day, and headed east, away from his house.

I followed him to what looked like an older apartment complex near USC. He didn't even make it to the door before a cute little blonde thing came running out, jumped up and wrapped her arms and legs around him. I started to take off my seatbelt to stomp over and confront him when a second girl interrupted their kissing with a kiss of her own. I watched in shock as he herded the two college girls back inside their apartment, one arm around each of their shoulders.

Recounting the story to Tilly, I laughed ruefully, "I have to admit to having been a little impressed, but I was done. I had let myself get sucked in by his looks and his charm, while ignoring the warning signs. I resolved that, in the future, I wouldn't commit myself to someone emotionally that I couldn't trust completely. I had a few flings, you understand, but nothing serious. I think I avoided getting truly attached to anyone out of fear of being hurt."

Tilly's expression reflected the sadness and regret that I felt. "But then you met Norm," she said, quietly.

I nodded. "And despite my earlier resolve and my caution, I fell, and I fell hard. I had never felt like that towards anyone before. Owen seemed like some boy-toy that I'd played with in comparison. Norm was real. He truly wanted to help people, but then he went and found ways to do it, like when he built that bathroom. He renewed my passion for music. It was just a stupid compulsion for me at that point, but he made me want to write music again, for the joy of it. And he listened to me, like I was the only other person on Earth."

"I know exactly what you mean," Tilly said quietly.

"He had his faults, of course. We all do, but I chose to look past those. Norm was the first man that I said, 'I love you' to. I mean, just a few months ago, here we were, stranded here on this farm, watching our food dwindle to nothing and wondering when someone from the government would show up to haul us all off to jail. And I was the happiest I had been in a long time. I worried about him a lot, sure, but I knew, outside of some catastrophe, he would be there for me always. And then I found out about you and him. How you'd both kept it from me for months."

I saw tears on Tilly's face, and when I reached up to touch my own cheek, my fingers came away wet. "It broke me," I said, and had to stop to choke down a sob.

"I'm sorry," Tilly said, her own emotions clearly adding their own mix of pain and regret.

I mastered myself with an effort. "Don't be. I'm better off this way."

Tilly shook her head slowly, her eyes wide. "No. You aren't."

I looked at her. Her eyes were wide and sincere. "No, maybe I'm not. But it's the same as Owen. The same as Jared, even. They all lied to me about something very important. I can't forgive them, and I won't forget."

"I'm sorry you feel that way," Tilly said, still shedding tears. "That's why you haven't touched your music since that night."

I thought briefly and nodded. "I suppose I could tell you that I'm just too busy for it, but to keep lying just makes me a hypocrite. I can't look at a piece of sheet music or that damned piano without thinking of him. For a while, I hated that he took that from me, too, but now I'm just tired. I just wish I could forget the whole thing ever happened."

"Don't say that," Tilly admonished. At some point, her hand had touched mine again, but this time I didn't mind. Her fingers caressed mine lightly, in a way that I found comforting, pleasant even. "How you feel now doesn't change what he did for you before. You got to feel love for the first time."

"Yes," I said, and gave her a tired smile. "And so did you." I pulled my hand gently from her grasp.

Tilly had the most easily-read expressions of anyone I had met, probably some side-effect of her empathic nature, but at that moment, I couldn't tell what was on her mind, except that whatever it was, she thinking hard about it. I waited for a moment, to see if she would put whatever it was into words, but she appeared to pull herself back from the brink.

"The kids are up," she said, smiling and nodding towards the living room.

I got up and turned to watch. A few moments later, Gabrielle came into view from the hallway, yawning and blinking. She froze two paces into the room, seeing the tree with dozens of presents beneath it. "Oh my God!" she said, and turned, running back towards the sewing room, her voice gaining an echo from the hallway. "Oh my God, Kevin, you have to come look!"

Her little brother followed her out. The oldest, Ryan, was not far behind. "What?" Kevin said, on seeing the presents. "This is all the stuff mom and dad got. How did it even get here?"

"Who cares?" Ryan said. "Let's open them."

"Whoa, there," I said. "You kids can at least wait for your mother to get up," I said.

"She's up," Gabrielle said.

"Unfortunately," Alice said with a yawn as she entered the room. In fact, I could hear the sounds of footsteps and doors opening and closing upstairs, probably awakened by Gabby's outburst. I went to make another pot of coffee in anticipation of the imminent arrival of a lot of sleep-deprived people.

I sat next to Tilly with my third cup in hand, watching the children open their gifts in turn with unabashed excitement. "I remember those mornings," she whispered to me, smiling broadly.

Wendy was next to appear, coming down the stairs with a scandalized expression. "No one told me we had Christmas presents!"

"They're just for us," Ryan said, tearing into one of his. "Nice!" he said, turning the box to reveal a handheld game system.

"I'm sorry," Gabrielle said to Wendy. "You can open some of mine if you want."

"Sure!" Wendy said. "But don't feel bad. Today's my birthday. I get to open my presents later."

"Your birthday is on Christmas?" Kevin said incredulously.

"Sure is. But I was an only child, so I got so many presents, I would open half in the morning and the rest at night." She looked at a book in Gabrielle's lap. "Oh, you like unicorns too?"

Tilly sighed. "Wendy is so good with kids."

"Well she kind of is one," I replied.

Tilly frowned thoughtfully. "Not completely. She acts that way because that's what people expect. She can be very serious and mature if you approach her in that way. I hope I'm as good with my own children."

"You are already thinking about kids?"

She lowered her voice. "I only realized recently that I want them."

"You're very young," I said. I was feeling irritable, almost angry, and not sure why.

"You're jealous," Tilly said, sounding surprised. Then she must have realized what she had said. "Sorry."

I hadn't really put any thought into children when I was with Norm. What smarted was that it was yet another thing that had been taken from me. Given time, it would have been sure to come up, when we were both ready. "It's fine. Have you talked to Norm about it?"

"No."

I smiled. "It'll freak him the fuck out when you do."

Tilly nodded, smiling herself. "I'm sure it will. I love when he gets all flustered."

That made my laugh outright. "I know, it's so adorable."

We were joined in the kitchen by Stan and Stansy, then a minute later by Norm, all getting coffee. Norm, doing his best unintentional impression of a zombie, gave both of us a quizzical glance before shuffling on toward the coffee pot.

"Awkward," Tilly and I both whispered together and shared a giggle.

My jealousy had already faded. It was kind of hard to stay mad at Tilly. Everyone liked her, of course, but I reflected that this morning's conversation was the most that I had ever opened up to her. "You're a really good friend," I said. "We should spend more time together."

"I'd like that," she said softly, gazing at me with that same peculiar expression as earlier.

The moment was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"What the hell?" I said, getting to my feet and moving into the living room.

Everyone had stopped what the were doing and cast worried looks at each other. Norm just looked at the clock and said, "Anyone going to get that?"

"I'll find out who it is," Stansy said. We watched as she went to the door and peered through the gap between the curtains. "Oh for the love of-" she said. Quickly, she unlocked and opened the door.

A man in a full Santa suit stood there. His face was dusky behind his bushy white beard. "Ho, ho, ho!" he said in a gravelly voice.

"Andy!" Norm said, hurrying up to shake our fixer's hand while pulling him inside. "So glad you could make it."

Andy chuckled. "I wouldn't miss it. You didn't tell anyone our little secret, did you?"

"Of course not."

"Well, I'm holding you to that promise. I brought the family down with me."

"What secret?" Stansy asked.

"A little Christmas miracle," Andy said. He stepped aside and gestured to the doorway. "Behold!"

Andy's son Eric appeared at the door, hugging a big, round object to his chest, wrapped in a white plastic bag.

"No," I said, "you're shitting me."

"I never shit," Norm said. A roar of laughter went up as he pretended to pause and consider his own words. When the noise died down, he said. "Wait, that came out wrong," and paused again, his mouth open halfway. This time a groan went up from most of the adults.

"Better stop while you're behind," Nock called, grinning, earning him a thumbs up from Norm and boos from everyone else.

"Can we stop with the fecal puns?" Wendy demanded. "So is it a turkey or what?"

"It is a Christmas turkey!" Andy said. "Ho, ho, ho!"

The whole place erupted with more disbelieving shouts, cheers, and general mayhem as Andy's son hauled the big bird into the kitchen. I could only shake my head in amazement. It must have cost a small fortune. Hundreds of dollars, maybe more. Part of the deal had been, apparently, that Andy and his family would get to come and share in the meal.

Alice's kids crowded into the kitchen to watch the proceedings. Eric unbagged the turkey while Stansy struggled to find a pan big enough to roast the thing in. It occurred to me that the children were young enough to not remember ever seeing a turkey. My mouth was already watering just from what I could faintly recall from family holidays years ago. Casey came in the door next, bringing a portable stereo from which began to waft Christmas music.

I stuck around while the rest of the children's presents were opened, chatting with Alice and Andy's wife, Abigail. Norm, Stansy, Stan and Wendy were all crowded into the kitchen, working out how they were going to cook the turkey. I overheard Wendy pointing out how typical it was for a man to forget something as critical as having a roaster pan on hand that would fit the 25 lb. bird.

"Hey, you keeping Abby here in line?" Andy asked, putting a hand on my shoulder. "You can probably tell she's a bit of a party animal." In fact, the middle-aged Umpqua woman had struck me as reserved quite to the point of shyness, but she smiled amiably at her husband's comment. He leaned in close to my ear. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"

I nodded and said, "Excuse me," to the two other women. I led him into the den and asked if we should take a seat in the old leather chairs in the corner.

He pulled his Santa beard down so that it wouldn't muffle his voice. "No, this will only take a second. I didn't want to distract from the festivities. I understand that you are the one wanting to build a genetics lab?"

I nodded. "That's right."

"Well, I've found someone who is both able and willing to help us out with one of your toughest pieces of equipment. I won't give you his name, but he's a tech who used to build lab equipment. He says he can make you a PCR workstation."

I all but bounced in excitement. "Have you discussed this with Norm? What's the cost?"

"I did talk to Norm, and it's not nearly as pricey as you would think. The guy's retired, and he'll build it in his shop at home. He said that the tolerances are very tight, whatever that means, but that he's got the equipment and the time to do it. He said that it's not even illegal to build the components for it. You'll just need to do the final assembly. Norm gave me the go-ahead and said he'd like to have it ready when construction on the lab space is done in a couple of months. He wanted me to be the one to come tell you. Beats me why."

I had a pretty good idea why, but I didn't think Andy needed to know that. "Credit where credit is due, probably," I said, instead. "I can't thank you enough for doing this for us. You went above and beyond."

He shrugged. "Hey, it's not like I work for free. Even Santa's gotta eat. But, you're welcome all the same. Now, if you'll excuse me." He pulled his beard back up and patted his fake belly. "I do believe I smell pancakes."

Now that he mentioned it, I did faintly detect the buttery-sweet smell of pancakes cooking. I was sorely tempted to go find out for sure, but there was something I wanted to do first.

Sitting down at the terminal, I accessed the darknet, calling up Todai's node and giving my authentication. I checked the logs of the last simulation I had run before logging off and grimaced at the negative results. I reset the sim, nudged the parameters a bit, and started it again. As I was moving the pointer to log off, a black console window popped up in the middle of the screen. I froze, thinking that I had inadvertently clicked something.

Text appeared in the window. "Is someone there?"

I looked around, half-expecting that Nock was playing some kind of prank on me. The prompt repeated, "Is someone there?"

There was a cursor blinking on the next line, so I typed. "Who are you?"

"This is Sam. They are looking for you. You need to shut down the network."

"What?" I said aloud. I typed, "Who is looking for me?"

Each letter flashed into existence so fast that the words filled the rest of the box in seconds, and I had to focus as the text scrolled. "Ophidia in herba. Carthago. The Enemy. They know you're out there. I tried to hide you, but I can't do too much without revealing myself. I thought I had done enough to safeguard you. They'll penetrate the network before it can be patched. You have to shut it down, right now. Shut the whole network down if you have to. Festinare!"

I stood up from the terminal and backed away. "Tilly!" I called. "I think you should get in here!"

Tilly came running within half a minute, orienting on me instantly as she entered the room, and coming to a stop next to me. "What's wrong?"

I pointed at the terminal and she looked, her brow furrowing for a fraction of a second. She sat and began typing, fingers flying over the keyboard, throwing out questions and getting back answers from Sam. She pounded a couple of keys and the console window disappeared. More furious typing and a new window popped up. She typed a long string of characters into it, then did the same for another window, then another. She stared at the screen without blinking, her chest rising and falling quickly as she entered commands in a staccato rhythm.

With a long inhale and exhale, she slumped slightly in her chair, her fingers poised above the keys. Yet another window had appeared on the screen with the words, "Data transfer in progress..." She waited, fingers twitching slightly, until the window announced, "Transfer complete."

Instantly, she was typing again, just a few words this time. The console announced, "Deleting...complete." A new window said. "Connection to node 4 lost." More typing. "Attempting to contact host...host unreachable."

Tilly fell back in the chair, closing her eyes.

"What just happened?" I said.

Tilly spoke slowly, sounding tired. "We were almost hacked. There was a security vulnerability in the Copenhagen node. The last several patches we put out didn't actually deploy due to a configuration error on their end. Sam detected a deliberate attempt to exploit that vulnerability. It relied upon hitting the node with crafted packets. Basically, they fooled Copenhagen into thinking that the data the attacker was sending came from one of the other nodes on the darknet. By analyzing how the system handled those data packets, they could gain information about the network indirectly. The longer the attack goes on, the more information they collect and the higher the chance of cracking our security. I don't think they succeeded, though. I chanced waiting a few more seconds to back up the Copenhagen installation and then I deleted the software and all the logs from the server. We'll get them back up much faster that way."

I understood enough of what she said to realize that a very bad thing had been avoided. "What would have happened if they did get in?"

Tilly shook her head slowly. "They might have compromised the whole system, taken over the Copenhagen node while hiding the signs of their intrusion from us. Given some time, they could have tracked down all of our network nodes and been able to find us geographically."

"You don't think Sam was just screwing with us? Running the attack himself?"

Tilly frowned. "Unfortunately, no. He's a pain in the neck and enigmatic as can be, but I've never known him to lie to us."

"So somebody really wanted to ruin our Christmas," I said. "It was just chance that I happened to log in."

"But good thing you called me right away. Seconds could have made the difference."

"You think we're safe?"

Tilly sat back down and began typing while she talked. "Probably, but I'm going to do versioning checks for every single node on the network, make sure they are all up to date on their patches."