All Comments on 'Double or Nothing Pt. 02'

Definitely a schoolboy fantasy, but well written! I'm hoping the next part isn't far along.

Great story. Can’t wait to read more of it. You are doing great.

I am enjoying your story telling so far. Yes the twins falling in love is very unrealistic but thus is your story and it makes fir fun fantasy. I think you are doing a good job of keeping the story interesting and allowing the reader to wonder where this is taking us. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Enjoying your story, Mr. Other1,

I do not typically read stories until they are finished, but this one is quite lengthy, so I have kept up. Nice little interlude, but I am ready for you to advance the other plot, as well. You know, the wife and daughter one. The twins are hot AF, but I'm a conflict junkie. Waiting impatiently, Randi.

as this has come up several times in pt 01 comments.

as a rule of thumb, a committed story will take 3-4 days to get published if it's over 20k words.

You should keep that in mind, readers are a grumpy lot, if you take too long they will let you know in no uncertain terms in the comments.

I won't say anything about the story until it's complete, but it reads interesting!

The next chapter is sooner not later.

augggg why did u write that stuff in the beginning ruined the whole story. when are u going to get to the scene u started in the beginning of the story? why do ppl put their ending in the beginning of their stories? this should have been in romance. but kind of a mote point for me

Its always interesting to read your own story once its posted, it always looks different. Yes, I caught the mistake where I called said Harmony when I should have said Melody. Enjoy the story everyone ;)

I don't mind the twins, honestly. I can imagine some people will, but you know, this is your story and write it how you see fit. I am looking forward to the next installment.

5-stars.

-JMFC

Worth waiting for. Just don't wait tooooo long before you upload part 3.

Hope it doesn't take you long to post the next one really like the story twins were a nice touch in your funny fansty world

him with the twins is great. i do hope he can get even with the other 3 that screwed him over in chapters to come.

It went a bit off the rails with the twins part. I feel it could have been shorter without losing anything.

I found the threesome angle highly implausible and a huge distraction from the core of the story. I also found the character make up of the twins juvenile and simple minded in there actions and thought patterns. That being said I look forward to part 3 and I hope it is more centered around Terry and his immediate family of his parents and sibling.

..and then I woke up.

What an appalling pile of shit. I call this “Disney for losers”

Think about it. The perfect husband is treated horribly by the women closest to him. He is betrayed by the evil wife/daughter/mother and runs off where his life becomes Sunshine and rainbows. He gets a great career, makes a boatload of money, marries the hottest, most faithful women on the planet and lives happily ever after while his ex family languishes in misery.

Go. Fuck. Yourself with mickey mouses cock.

I hate fucking Disney and so should you.

Fucking asswipe authors.

A great second chapter!

Ignore any complaints about it being unrealistic him hooking up with the twins. You're writing an erotic story, not a documentary.

Looking forward to chapter 3!

I do not mean to infer that I think it is like real life, as stories should never be that. THIS is a story, pure and simple and I love it and am enjoying it Take no notice of 'story-poopers' who may criticize this story. It is a breath of fresh air for which many of us (readers) will thank you for a long time to come Really great Job, Thank You I look forward to anything else you choose to write about this truly interesting situation. This is 5*****+ stuff.

Very enjoyable story. Looking forward to part 3

Now it gets baloney supersized. Ya lost me mate, unless the MC grows two dicks and a cartridge full of bollocks matching a gatling.

Captcha

Chapter 3 soon, please. Love the track of the story.

schoolboy fantasy but works for me looking forward to part 3

Obviously a bit of a fantasy but good so far. Spelling much better with only a few errors this chapter!

Series is progressing well - I did find the twins plot line a little unbelievable from my life experiences, but you're doing your best to "sell it" and I'm coming around to the idea. Our hero. Terry, is really carving a new life out, so try to mess with his new found happiness in the futre! LOL! PS - Don't hesitate to make the good doctor and his "family" suffer immensely...5*

"I’m about 80% done on part III and know where I want to take Part IV. There will likely be a part V and VI as well with how I’m feeling on this story." - It took a month and a half to get this chapter out, tell me why I should read this with FOUR more chapters to go, at this rate the story won't be done for SIX months!

Finally another part! Nice sequel and the twin twist doesnt bother me at all. Like you said, its a fantasy, but why shouldnt you indulge ;)

Really like the twins part of the story. Hope McKensie grows up.

I just want to urge to keep writing, and thank you for what you've done already.

5 stars

The story is OK but your spelling and grammar are still below par!

This is a fun read.

Really enjoying the story and am ok with the twins being in love Terry, please don't ruin that great plot line with a tragedy or incident that separates one or both of them from him. As far as the former family goes, it seems they are doing fine, so I could care less if Terry gives them a second thought. The doctor doesn't know his mother and all the other 2 want is money. Terry does not have to tell them bitches jack shit. Can't wait for next chapter

Really enjoyable. Looking forward to ch.03.

If you live in Loving Wives World, your children will be twins, and the MC's love interest (ex or new, sometimes both) will have red hair.

In this story, we get two cliches rolled into one.

Enjoyable read. Would like to be able to read the entire story Aton time.

Thanks for the story! Have to say, I can do without the twins' part, but the notes at the end un-twisted my knickers, so to say.

Please don’t wait so long to post the next one. After a month and a half, most people tend to forget about the story.

Nice fantasy story, beautiful twins, rich and powerful potential in-laws , who are accepting this arrangement. 3 lovers all intertwined together. What’s next?

fun in a way but twins? Really?

I have read all of your stories so far. I’m glad that you are having your stories edited but I would love to see you have them proofread again. You’re content has really improved. But like all of us nitpickers there are still a couple of things that slip through. I highly commend you for having your stories finished at least to the editing stage. I have read to many stories that leave you hanging never to be finished. Keep up the great writing!

I don't rate the individual parts of multi-chapter stories, I rate the whole story at the end. That being said, your comments about readers not liking the twins aspect of the story. You should read some of Just Plain Bob's work. He has literally written hundreds of stories. He makes no bones about his writing philosophy; he writes exclusively for an audience of one - himself. He has been writing since well before the internet. Back in the Dark Ages, if you wanted your story read, you had to get it 'published' on one of the available bulletin boards. Problem was, most of them reflected a particular topic like cuckolding or interracial sex. If you wanted to get your story published, you had to include that topic. Now, he has been able to consolidate most (maybe all) of his stories in one place. However, the bulletin board situation pretty much guaranteed that the people reading your stories would be people who were into that particular kink and thus would not complain about it. That is no longer the case and Bob often receives comments that complain about what he was presenting them. Occasionally he will reply, reveal the target audience he writes for and gently suggest that if they don't like his stories, they should probably stop reading them. I can't see much evidence that very many are taking his advice, but I do believe you should follow his example. Write the story YOU want. If people are unhappy with that, offer to refund the price they paid for it. Meanwhile, keep working at it, you're getting better. I look forward to the rest of your story.

Will be waiting for the next chapter and I do agree with Cito22, please don't ruin that great plot line, it maybe a cliche fantasy but it goes smoothly with the plot and circumstance. Keep up the good work :)

Bravo! Very good read!

What a great story, well written and great character interaction. Can't wait till the next chapter is published. Well done 5 stars

You did that with the first chapter, first few paragraphs, when the ex-family showed up, then said nothing more, no explanation, no further develeopment of that story curve, which is what I'm sure your readers were hoping for. And now, in this chapter, after keeping us waiting for ages for this next part, it was completely ignored yet again, and yet another cliffhanger; tell me, is this one also not going to be addressed in part 3? Because this chapter was just a long drone about what an all-round super guy he is, there's no tension, no attempt to tell a coherent story with the breakup of his family and the actions and culpability of cardboard Dr. Dickhead taking center stage, instead he's just endlessly romping with gorgeous identical twins while their parents look on approvingly. Cliche or what?

You can’t stop now. You have plenty of material for at least one more story. Don’t split up the twins. They are spectacular. Teach them a little bisexual curiosity. You have to have some great threesomes.

Enjoyable story, really good read.

Im glad some folks liked this but once I remembered how ridiculously absurd the first part was I stopped.

You can write, just not with your feet on the ground.

Keep goin'... you're on a ROLL! Great, imaginative, fun story!

well done. excellent. 5⭐

I really liked this part which takes place very smoothly and all in love, and all in respect.

I also liked the fact that you did not orient the story towards bisexual sisters and thus limited it to just touching and declarations of love.

waiting for a follow-up, I subscribed.

Thanks for sharing your talent.

The story is really not bad at all (if not terribly original), but GET AN EDITOR!

There are so many grammatical errors and so many homophone mistakes that it becomes farcical.

An interesting fantasy , but believeable, However you should have stopped part 2 half way down page 3, just after he returned to work and then made the rest part 3, posted 1 or 2 days later. As part 2 was 6 pages long, I found I started to loose concentration. I do know tht readers are funny people and it it not hard to end up with nothing but negative comments. I will refrain from commenting onl the whole story until it is posted. PLEASE bear in mind readers do not like waiting more than 2 to 3 days between parts.

Sorry but I couldn't commit to 22k words after the 1st few when I learn that in this fantasy world someone can adopt a child who already has a father who objects to it. You seem to have a large following of Followers so good luck to you.

It's a great story thanks for part 2 can't wait for 4

Nice fantasy and looking forward to the next chapter.

I loved part one. This part was a little to Cinderella for my taste. However I accept Mr. Other's explanation that this part was setting up the next parts. So I am anxiously awaiting part 3. Four stars

I love the story and I love the twins. I can't imagine yet where it will go in the long run, but eagerly looking to find out.

Mackenzie made it clear she wanted a different father, so it does come across that she is strictly a material girl with her ex-father.

Also sounds like the ex-wife thinks she traded up, but is in for a surprise and ultimately regret. I sure hope that ship has sailed.

Not bad at all. The twin thing is a bit much, but hey, its your world.

Long, dragged out, tedious journey to an all-too-obvious end. Please ask your editor to be more aggressive: at least half the paragraphs in this could have been cut, to the story's improvement. And the speeches! When your central character's speeches in dialog are longer than Hamlet's soliloquies, you know there's a problem.

Agree with the last comment. Too long for what happened in the story.

Love It (:

Usually I rant about the story line not being believable, but the red headed twins checks my fantasy box so 5* from me!

I liked it, even though it's long, it has a nice buildup, no rushing, I wish somewhat that the ex-fam wouldn't pop up suddenly here and there since we already know how the story began, but otherwise it's all good imo.

Five stars so far.

I really liked this part with the twins. I was lucky enough to casually know and go to school with some very good looking twins when I was in my early teens. They gave me quite a few fantasies like everything that happened between Terry and them, including the tests to see if he could tell them apart. This, however is the first time I've read a story that pretty much covered all those things that went through my mind all those {60} years ago.

As for the ex daughter, wife and her current husband I would just as soon they were just distant memories in this story. I can see running into them on occasion when visiting his home town but don't see the need in any more deep involvement with them just to continue the story. But it is your story to tell so I'll read it and rate it as I see fit.

Thank you for the entertaining read. Please continue this story and, if at all possible, in shorter intervals.

BTW thank you for answering my message.

Of course life doesn’t work that way…but it damn sure should. 😁

Excellent storey and the relationship with the twins adds an extra twist to the storey, well done, ignore the negative comments below, keep writing as you are. I’m really looking forward to the next chapters. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Good story. A bit verbose but not bad. Hopefully, the next parts will be coming faster. I'm old and forget quickly.

I love the twins part. Good story so far. Looking forward to more.

Absolute fantasy.

No right-minded morally upright father would permit a guy having both his daughters at once. Not in real life. I've heard of a single mom and daughter tandems one guy but a father of twins? No way. Unless the guy has a twin too.

awesome keep up the good work and the mystory

Part one was realistic, raw, and emotional. I gave it 5 stars. This part slipped into fantasy, as if we were reading somebody's daydream. It did not have the power or the realism of part 1. 2 stars. I hope the next part goes back to the quality of the first

Thank you first of all for putting in all the hard working of writing and sharing your fantasy with us i for one enjoyed it. Sorry I have to add a small but yes some of the dialog was a bit long. To end I enjoy longer stories and this was one i enjoyed. Next chapter please.

@Indigoblue99 Re: "I highly commend you for having your stories finished at least to the editing stage." - But they're not! Ch 3 isn't even finished, and there's only an "idea" of where Ch 4 will go.

I enjoyed this epic story, which really pushes Terry's story. Excellent! 5 stars)

/

Good editing. I did note some minor errors. On PAGE 3, the worrd is folklore, not folk law

/

On PAGE 6, in this quote, .

"...our poor man has been oking after us, and what does her get"  her should be he (Terry).

Good story, although I agree with your own comments; I could have lived without the "twins" stuff, and I'm following this because I'm interested to see what will happen involving the bitch ex-wife and daughter. I must say, it is refreshing to see a story on Literotica in which the disloyal child is disowned. Usually, the MC is all about "the only thing that matters is the children! I'll throw myself on my sword, if that's what it takes to ensure their happiness!", which I think is BS. Please keep going with this thread.

graet... wait for the next chapter.

How about a third installment?

The wet dream of rescuing two beautiful chicks and rocking it with both of them ... and a super job living in a mansion... ok, you had your orgasm... now bring it back down to earth a little.

Don’t apologize for the twins. Would it happen? No. But I’m literally reading erotica, it doesn’t have to be true, it just has to entertain and be hot. And the stuff with the twins is incredibly hot. So yeah, write for yourself, not for others.

Well done, looking forward to the next installment. I am curious though, if Terry got on so well with William and his wife why didn't he know the names and particulars of their daughters? You'd think when Terry pulled them out of the Rover, saw they were redheaded twins, that he'd immediately realize who they were. Just seems odd that he can be such good friends with the twins parents but not know about them. And vice versa for that matter. Anyway, just a minor thing, perhaps you did address this and I missed it somewhere. Thank you for sharing!

LOL- you got to love the comments. They're all over the place, with many still moaning about the length and timely manner of posting. You got quite the fantasy author, two beautiful red heads in love with you, every man's dream, eh. Remember, readers, this is the author's fantasy, not yours. Good read, so far, beats the willing cuck shit that dominates this category.

This story went off the rails when you had him save a set of twins, that both fall in love with him. Oh yeah they just happen to be his bosses daughters, and now this guy in his late thirties scores a virgin. On top of all this mom and dad completely approve off their daughters having a three way relationship, sure. I know this is a fantasy, but come on let’s keep it a little bit realistic. I liked your original concept, of a guy that gets horribly wronged by his wife, and daughter. I was interested to see how Terry would work through his trauma, but then you decided to take the story into never never land. I’m very disappointed.

Thank you for your effort. KS

Keep writing

Keep writing for yourself and you'll do just fine. As for the twins...every man's dream.

Thank you.

@sbrooks103

"....tell me why I should read this with FOUR more chapters to go...." at this rate the story won't be done for SIX months!

No one held a gun to your head to make you read this, or any other story you whine about.

I know it took you longer to write some of your stories....even though it really didn't show.

@iamaweasel,

and what is your excuse

Another author who shows CONTEMPT to their readers. If you cannot post all the parts in 1 or 2 days intervals, you are confirming that you have no idea as to where the story leads. PLEASE DO NOT post anymore parts until they are all completed and can be posted on consecutive days. I WILL not be reading any further posting from you until I know that that the story is complete. As I am getting old, I do not want to have to keep going back to read previous parts to find out what happened. Get a grip and stop pissing of your readers.

Didn’t understand the reference to double or nothing until the twins turned up, loved that lol.

This is one of the few multi chapter submissions where I’m looking forward to where the next three chapters (according to the author already written awaiting edit) will lead our hero.

I’m digging the story and looking forward to learning more about the wife and daughter. My only criticism is that it’s running longer than I’m usually interested in investing in. But I’ll chalk that up to “Each to their own”.

That being said, I appreciate you writing and posting it here. Thank you!

Thanks for the story. For those that are complaining about this FREE fiction. if you want him to go faster, pay him so he can quit work and write. If you want the story to only include what you want it to, hire him and give him a contract and an outline. Writing is hard work even if paid - I know. If you think an idea is ridiculous, just say so, spare us the vitriol. Twins is a little far fetched, however I know there are women willing, even eager to share in the right circumstances - best friends, girl friends with friends that are hard up - weird, I know. Best friends can be very good if you like to be reduced to a boneless heap on the floor. Rescuing your girlfriends hard up friends from making tragic mistakes can be quite rewarding. One plain looking BFF of my girlfriend was ready to give it up to anyone. Shy, no social skills no idea but go out, get drunk and — whatever. My girlfriend did not want her friend to be used, maybe painfully traumatized or end up with a disease or pregnant by some anonymous stranger, or gang raped or worse. And the friend, a heavily freckled redhead had a crush on me. Guess what out of her perpetual coveralls and oversized mans shirt and with a different hairstyle - a bombshell (which I suspected all along). Narrow waist, perfect flat tummy, a real D, a great ass and hips (normally all concealed under coveralls, thick oversized long sleeve flannel shirt and the granniest granny panties of all time) turned out to be witty, innovative, responsive and ultimately aggressive. Best summer ever.

I love that everyone is so passionate about this story, so many different comments, I love that your all engaged regardless of you liking of hating the story.

Just to let you know, I now have the initial edit for Part III back from edit, All going well I should be able to post Part III over the weekend or early next week. I've also finished the draft for Part IV and should have that off to edit next week.

Part V is written, but I need to read through it.

Anonymous haters, if you don't like the twins angle, then I suggest that you don't read the upcoming parts of the story. But seriously, Anonymous, if you want to complain then I challenge you to take up the pen and write stories yourself, If you don't like the content help us make it better by joining in.

And yes this story is a fantasy, I'm having fun writing the twins and thinking about their different personalities, while trying to think of how Terry would be conflicted yet wanting to love them both. I know I work a little sex into the story, but for me its more about the relationship.

And yes, coming up both Carol and Mackenzie are going to be trouble.

tralala, brooks isn't saying that anyone is being forced to read this, but the author posted it, presumably wants it to be read, and the question is still valid: Why should we read this when we have no idea when the story will be finished?

~~

At least brooks is taking his own advice, not posting a story until it's complete.

we are excitelly waiting for part 3

I gave it a 5. I only had one comment.

The twins and he talk about their blossoming relationship. They even state he will introduce them as his girlfriendS when his family visits.

He also discuss the relationship with the twins father. It all seems to be settled.

But the one on one conversation with his sister is fraught with self doubt. It is as if the prior scenes never occurred.

And as the author states the twins are a cliché but he likes them in the story. Cliché or not it has been a fun read. I will gladly wait for more chapters.

Damnt it was getting good

I see other 2other1 has stated that part 3 is back from edit, so why does it take another week before it is posted.

JUST remember that there are at least 100 stories posted daily and I like many others read a fair few of them. So why should I have to keep reading previous parts to know what has happened, as other commentators have said "If you cannot post the parts 1 to 3 days apart, DO NOT post until it is finished. Finally when the author posts any further part or new story, the first thing I will do is go to the last page and read the last paragraph to be certain the story has ended. If there is not a 'Finished' or it is obviously no finished I will not read it until I am sure it is. While you plot lines are good, you are anoying many people by keeping us hanging for the next part.

Chapter 2 begins exactly like Chapter 1. It only populates thru page two. Where is Chapter 2?

You have me hooked. I like the twist of the twins, and how you used them to separate him from the rejection of his old life. It was a little convenient that they were William and Martha’s daughters, but you’re making it work. Bring on ch. 3! And thanks for writing!

Great so far, but somehow the next Chapter will be rough.

Part III has just been submitted to publishing.

It will be a few days before I can get Part IV published due to scheduling edits as this next Part there is a lot happening. But it is coming.

I hope you really enjoy part III as it was one of the most fun to write in this series :)

I love it. It's so sweet and cathartic in a way. I mean, theres no way this would ever happen in real life but man if this doesn't warm my heart and fill it with hope, that maybe somewhere a good man like Terry is getting his pie and eating it to.

I loved it and can't wait for part III, to me it's definitely a 5 star story!