by luvjuice43
One hot erotic story. I thought they might have Debbie move in with them, but I guess that would be a story for another time. But seeing it has been over 8 years since this was published, I doubt we will ever see another chapter. Well done 5-stars.
Really enjoyed the story ...hit and erotic... loved it... five stars... I encourage a chapter 2
This ended with a cliffhanger between Debbie, Marlene and Will. After Marlene and Will finishes making love again, we need to know what Debbie is going to do. It will be great if Debbie comes and moves in with Marlene and Will along with her son Josh. Please write another chapter.
I am another 77 year old and I am so jealous.
You just are not fair to your brother septuagenarians
Since you asked...
Literotica has a list of authors who will read over & edit your story.
I am also an author who publishes here & I have found (like you)
that authors do not make the best editors of their own stories.
My theory is that even if you read the story over after you think it's 'finished'
you will subconsciously read it as you intended to write it, not as you actually
wrote it. An extra set of eyes looking at it, without preconceptions cannot hurt.
I publish here as: Sharky_R & if you want to contact me, I'd be happy to
give you more information / suggestions, but I'm not an 'editor' per-se.
All that being said, yes you have some gramatical issues that could be fixed,
but the story is very good & I encourage you to keep writing.
Sharky_R
Sorry for my blunders. My brain and fingers do not always work together and sometimes my brain and eyes do not work together when I'm trying to proof read my stories. Also I do not know how to make corrections after a story has been posted. But thanks for the help.
but I've never come across an arse that giggled. Many that wiggled though...
Debbie and her son needs to move in with Marlene and Will while she is going through her divorce, and perhaps the two of them can convince Debbie that she is better off living with them permanently, and become Will's second wife and Will could be a father to her son.
It would be a sexy household to read about.
Thanks for the read
A good story that needs at least one more chapter! Hope more is cumming. Thanks.
What a wonderful story. It does need a follow-up, please. I can see Debbie moving in and having a wonderful 3-some relationship with perhaps other men and/or women visiting them upon occasions.
thank you again