All Comments on 'Down at the Twist and Shout Ch. 01'

Keep it up. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Loving the flashbacks, they happen naturally and don't interfere with the flow of the story, I hope they continue in future chapters. But then again I have always been a fan of stories that take time to tell a story rather than a two page "strip off get down to it" story

As always great character development and believable plot.

Thank you

First, Coo’yon is used by an uncle or godfather when addressing a young nephew who is acting in an ungentlemanly manner. This is unique to the Cajun culture. If used on the streets of Paris a knuckle sandwich would be the result.

Second point, I can’t fathom how Carlos could get into the apartment unnoticed. If he followed Justine, he was there for awhile as she spent some time in the apartment going through John’s stuff then entertaining herself. So we haveCarlos lurking outside and John does not see him when he comes home? This is an especially curious point considering what John does for a living where situational awareness is crucial.

No knocking the story, I like it.

I love how you set your stories up. Carlo makes for a fantastic bad guy, and I cannot wait to see how he gets his comeuppance. Eagerly awaiting the next installment. Keep up the good work

I know it may seem weird considering I’m fine with incest lol but the age difference to me is just too much. But I still like the story

Justine's 23, Johnny was 7 when she was born, so he's 30; how is that a problematic age difference? Or can you only deal with a year or two differential? Smh

"I know it may seem weird considering I’m fine with incest lol but the age difference to me is just too much. But I still like the story"

There is seven years' difference in their ages. So what??!! My parents were six years difference, and a friend and his wife were 18 years apart. What's your point?

New York, Cajun, NOLA, England, celebrity, wealthy, street smart, ivy league, criminal, LEO, and those are just the major groups.

I don't think it would be in his character to send his sister off on her own to gather her possessions.

Big fan of your work and like always an awesome story to read. And I loved the references to GrandTeton’s Moonbeam! So does that mean Cold Cock or any other GT story and your next hit are going to continue this expanded universe? If so... you keep writing and I’ll keep reading!

In answer to your question, GrandTeton's Moonbeam, Tommy, Angie, and Cassie are all playing roles in the ongoing story, with GT's help and full permission; there's even a proposed reciprocal vignette from GrandTeton potentially in the pipeline giving some of Johnny's back-story and interactions with Jerome, Moonbeam, Kelly, and Baxter-Harkoff, and the finale will have guest appearances from Tommy, Angel, and Robin a-plenty, as well as some of their friends who've helped and supported Angel Graves over the years, all overseen by and congruent with what GT has already revealed about his characters' quirks and personalities.

My work is much more than just GT editing for me; his sense of story and narrative completeness, his urge to teach me the niceties of punctuation and calm, unhurried storytelling, and his restraint when he tells me I can't do something makes all my stories very much collaborative works, even if GT tries to step back and let me take any bows going. Any success my work has on this site would not have happened without his close input from synopsis stage all the way through to the version that appears on the site, helped along by the occasional pained sigh and discreet rap on the knuckles from him.

Thank you for the timely response! And as I said before you keep writing and I’ll keep reading!

First principle in a movie or a book or a story, the language should be simple and clear and easy. I can't understand it. If I want to comment,first I have to understand. So first write a story in understandable way.

Maybe you should take a little more time to check your spelling and grammar before running-down those who don't have to; everyone else who commented and liked obviously didn't have a problem understanding anyything, so you're in a minority of 1. If you don't like a story, any story, why read it to the end then be a dick about it? If you don't like, move on, nothing and no-one's forcing you to read anything on this site.

Go away, dick-breath, BB, please delete this ignorant clown.

Loved it

Thanks for letting me know you had published the last chapter - i started reading from chapter 1. WOW. great opening chapter. well-written, like the cajun dialogue. well done for someone i think is a brit!!

Hi, you're right, I am English, but my wife isn't; she identifies as 'Cajun', her family live up and down through the Atchafalaya, but mostly in Houma and Thibodaux, with some as far South as Dulac, and some 'East Texians' around Ghost Lake in the west of the state. The places I've mentioned, with some minor name changes to aid the story, are real, the names I've used throughout are her cousins, aunts, and uncles (tantes and noncles) names, and when she comes home after a holiday with her family, it's usually a week before she starts speaking English that I can understand and stops talking and cussing in that unique Cajun Creole, loses that 'bayou' accent Johnny likes to use when he's being playful, and stops using both my first names when she addresses me.

LOVE IT! It’s like reading James Lee Burke with a sexy overlay. Love Louisiana, even though, as the saying goes, half of it’s underwater and the other half is under indictment…! But, I WAS born in Barksdale AFB hospital, so, I can pick a little fun from the inside!