All Comments on 'Dragon Clans Bk. 01 Pt. 08'

Quite difficult to rate this story. As a story, I like it. However, as a finished product, it REALLY needs someone with a knowledge of punctuation to review and edit the final draft prior to publication. Others have commented on this aspect of your writing--and commented and commented. Quite a shame, really, as the incomplete sentences, run on sentences, sentence fragments, etc., really take away from the enjoyment of the story itself. Both WordPerfect and Word have grammar checkers as well as spelling checkers. It would only help for you to get familiar with those functions if you can not get access to a live editor. Good luck! Oops. I see I am required to rate the submission. Well, giving it a 0. Don't know what else to do. If I were a teacher, I would say it shows promise and send the student home with it with the same advice. Changed my mind to a 50 on the basis that if a lousy story but the writer had least had the spelling and grammar correct he should get some credit, then one who has a nice story but lousy spelling and grammar should at least get the same.

So I rate this chapter on its content and the feelings it evokes rather than on the amount of comma's or full stops etc. I respect that it's different strokes for different folks in terms of what we look for in a story.

It's good that you're taking time to unravel the agitations and driving energy behind Nicolas' character. He is written as an evolving counterpoint to Michael. I appreciate the time you take to build emotional detail and history to this character rather than just presenting him as a baddy.