All Comments on 'Dragons of Fraidel Ch. 06 Pt. 01'

Its been an interesting read so far, but I think more drama, plot twists, and not immediately revealing certain things about major and minor characters would make it better.

For example, Meridian love for the Fire Prince. It really think you could have waited on that one. Although this might be an interesting scene where the Fire Prince storms in suddenly trying to see Meridian ^^; .

Also Cliffhangers are never a bad thing, I think personally. Keeps the reader on their toes, and looking forward to the next chapter. ^_-

Still I do think the whole prepreation for the wedding thing was cute as was the painting stuff.

And you do have a couple of plot twists. Like what did heroine's granny mean by "not having enough energy".... and what she said about her grandfather living very far away? Or who killed the Fire and Water Princes parents? Could they be trying to create animosity between the factions?

^Since the answer to these question are kind of obvious I would intentially add thing to your story to throw us off.

Some of the dragon personalities have been interesting too. I think you should give them more dialog. Like do dragon of other factions cross-bred? How do they decide who to mate? Since they are so big where do they sleep?

P.S. Seriously MORE Cliffhangers ^^;

Your dialog needs some work. It's stilted and unnatural. Also, you might want to consider searching "punctuating dialog" on Google to see how to do it properly.

You make a short sentence. Then you make another one. You make too many short sentences. You should make longer sentences. You should add more depth to them.

Lets take what I wrote and change it.

You make too many short sentences. You need to make longer sentences with more depth to them.

See how that works?

OMG ui loved this storiefrom ch to chand im woundering tell me if im right the missing spical dragon and rider is our new pair like her granma was

I really appreciate the comments everyone. It means alot. And don't expect me to tell you anything on what is going to happen next either lol. You'll find out eventually hehe. Also, I am having a hard time finding editors because I am pretty picky. Any suggestions would be recommended.

First off, I really really like Verdius! Although I fear that might be because he has been given more character, whereas the other dragons seem to be lacking. You don't need to give too much too soon, but a little bit would definitely bring the other dragons to life. Cerulos, mainly, I feel is woefully void of personality, seeing as he's Torrence's dragon.

Keep up the good work though. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Your story is a little rough around the edges, but the plot is interesting and hints at intriguing things to come. Keep writing!

Any idea when you are going to add more chapters?

Verdius he is such a hassle

Hey just wanted to say good work so far also I was kinda expecting galeena to be the purple dragoon lol.