Dreaded Days

I sat there on the road until her front porch light came on. She waved and I waved as I drove off, hoping her parents didn't recognize me or my Mom's car.

***

Vickie had used the "I wasn't feeling well and someone brought me home" excuse, and her parents didn't question her since she was safely home. Vickie called one of the girls who had a cell phone to have a matching cover story on that end for Mrs. Wood.

She called me the next afternoon and we talked for a while until she said, "Grant, Mom and Dad are leaving for a movie now. I'm still 'not feeling too well' so I'm staying home. You have ten minutes to get over here if you want to make love to me today."

I made it in eight and we retired to the comfort and safety of her bedroom, where we removed our clothes and enjoyed looking at each other in the buff for a minute or two before we realized we were getting goosebumps. I think it was from the temperature of her bedroom, but in my case, it might have been from the initial embarrassment of Vickie staring at my dick straining to reach for the ceiling. We quickly climbed in bed under her covers and snuggled to warm ourselves as our hands roamed, each of us exploring our lover.

I kissed Vickie's sweet titties, not nearly enough, I realized later, while she excited me for a bit similar to the night before—stopping well before blast-off this time—but I was so excited massaging her sweet pussy for the first time that I almost came even without her hands on me at the time. She'd shaved herself bare for me for the night before, but there was barely any stubble, so I reveled in her softness and her velvety opening when I finally dipped a finger inside.

Alex had shown me a book that said to focus on the woman's clit, so I tried to find it there under the covers, but considering she didn't melt down like Chernobyl as I expected, I wasn't sure if I ever found the right spot. Vickie looked like she was enjoying the overall experience, though, squirming against my hand as we kissed until she finally said, "Grant, put on the condom and make love to me."

When it was on like the book and the box said, I got between Vickie's legs and she guided me into her opening. I tried to be gentle as I moved forward, but I must have gone a little too far or a little too fast since a few tears slipped out the sides of her eyes.

"Do I need to stop?" I asked, pulling out a bit, worried that I'd hurt her.

"No, it's okay. Just don't move for a minute, okay?"

I held her, putting one hand on her head, patting very gently, trying to make her feel better. She hugged me back and we lay there for a bit before she moved again and said, "Okay, slow and easy, okay?"

I did and she seemed to relax then, her breathing matching my own and her moans slowly building.

The feel of her vagina and her arms around me were a wonder I'd never experienced and never really expected, at least not quite like this. Being with her, in her, I felt it building quickly, making me want to give her my all. As I built up a bit more speed and a little more force, she was biting her lower lip and nodding to me through her moans.

And then it happened, a tsunami sweeping over me. I buried myself deep within her and stopped as I pumped my seed into the condom. While I'd ejaculated any number of times under my own power, this was, without a doubt, the best ever, even better than through Vickie's efforts the night before. I closed my eyes, reveling in the feeling and in her arms around me.

She was stroking my hair then, kissing my head, but I suddenly realized she was breathing normally again and wasn't feeling anything like what I'd just experienced. It was then that the realization and disappointment hit; I hadn't done enough for her. I needed to hold out or keep going until she was ready, too, but this time it was already too late; however close she was to going over her own edge was lost.

I quickly stripped off the condom and saw a tinge of pinkish-red on it, before tying it off and tossing it. So much for virginity, abandoned as easily as the rubber. But....

"Vickie, are you okay?"

"It hurt just a little at first, but then it felt better but it never felt great like I was expecting based on what some of the girls have said."

I could hear the disappointment in her voice even if she didn't come right out and say it.

"I'm sorry, Sweetheart. It surprised me and I couldn't keep going. I'll do better next time and we'll get you there."

We lay together for a while, each of us a little happy and a little sad, until a look at the clock told us that our time was up and her parents would be returning home soon. We finished cleaning up, dressing, making her bed, and emptying her trashcan so I could kiss her goodbye and be on my way at least ten minutes before her parents were expected home.

In the end, I don't think our first time was quite what either of us expected, but it had been quite an adventure getting to that point. As I drove home that afternoon, I was quite happy and all I could think about was how much more I wanted to do for her next time, being with her forever, and how much I'd enjoyed our Valentine's Day weekend.

Even though the actual day itself still sucked!

***

Chapter 3--Monday, February 14, 2005--1st Year of College

The prom and graduation came and went, and things went well for Vickie and me. We were extremely close, spending as much time together as possible and we made love as much and as often as we could when I wasn't working.

Things changed a little when her mother found out about our liaisons, but, to our surprise, she didn't kill me or yell at Vickie. Having been something of a free spirit herself before meeting Mr. Selkirk, Mrs. Selkirk got Vickie on birth control pills and personally told me that I had to keep using a condom if I wanted to make love to her daughter...if I wanted to keep living. In the end, she made sure we were careful and that we had a safe place to do it, while never mentioning a word of our discussions or activities to Mr. Selkirk.

Vickie and I got much better at making love with practice, and she was soon getting off as much as I was. After talking about her apprehensions with her mother, Vickie finally let me eat her out, too, and we both wondered why the fuck we hadn't been doing it from the start.

Except for Neville the night manager, the ever-grumpy Corrie Thompson, and that damn deep fryer at work, it was practically a perfect summer.

However, a sense of sadness settled over me as the summer turned toward fall. Vickie and I were going to colleges several hours apart that fall, so I began to be concerned and to even miss her as our departure dates neared. In addition, Mr. Westphal, Alex's stepdad, took a new job in Arizona, so they moved late that summer. With Alex going to college out west, our lifetime of adventures and video game battles were over.

"Hey, write to me sometime when you get a break from bopping Vickie."

"Right, like I'm going to ever take a break from that! I'll send you a text between bouts if I ever get a cell phone." We laughed and shook hands with sadness on both of our faces. Moments later, I waved as their car pulled out of the driveway.

School went fairly well that fall, but it was hard on my relationship with Vickie. We got together when we could, but since neither of us had a car on campus, that was generally only every few weeks. We made the most of our time together when we were home, but our parents seemed to expect us to spend time with them, too, so our sex life suffered even more, and while Vickie was a good letter writer, I tried but wasn't. We made up for it over the break and then it was back to school for another semester.

Valentine's Day was on a Monday in 2005 and I had a big test but I dreaded going through Valentine's weekend without seeing Vickie. Despite the upcoming test, I skipped classes on Friday, caught a bus, and traveled for several hours to her small college town, doing what studying I could while on the way.

We had a great time on Friday night talking and holding each other before falling asleep in each other's arms. Most of the day on Saturday was similar, but Vickie seemed distracted.

"So much studying to do," she said, leading me to nod in agreement. We sat down and studied together for a while that afternoon before going out for dinner and a few tunes at a college-oriented place with a live band. We slipped out on the dance floor for a few dances together, mostly holding each other close as we swayed together.

With her roommate out of town for the weekend, we returned to Vickie's room, locked the door, and stripped in seconds before holding each other and making gentle love. With all of the stress she was under, I was afraid she'd just go to sleep afterward, but it had gotten her engine going and, after a few soft kisses, she went down on me and quickly had me ready for part two.

When I was ready, she got on her hands and knees, naked as a jaybird, and started swaying in front of me as she looked back over her shoulder at me temptingly. The condom was in place in near record time and then, with a little lube, I started running it over her swollen labia. A couple of passes and I pushed in, causing her to moan as I filled her.

She pulled away then, just a few inches, before leaning back into me, and then she started doing it again. I grabbed her hips and helped, pulling her back as she thrust back against me, causing her to grin as we did it until we lost our rhythm and I slipped out.

"Your turn," she said as I got back into position and reentered. "Hold onto me and do it hard and fast, okay?"

With a much better grip, I pushed in and slid out a couple of times before I skipped several gears and started doing it as she asked.

"Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!" she moaned as I did it, as hard and as fast as I could. Vickie's iPod speakers were turned up just loud enough to cover the sound of our bodies slamming together.

When we were done, we collapsed together on the bed, barely big enough for one person, much less two, but we slept snuggled close like the night before and once again succeeded in getting through the night without either of us hitting the floor.

When we woke up on Sunday morning, we took a few moments to hit the restroom before climbing back in bed to hold each other for a while. I'd have to be heading to the bus stop all too soon; however, it was then that Vickie rolled over, looked at me, and said, "Grant, we need to talk."

"What's up, Sweetheart?" I asked, a bit concerned about her tone but not too worried considering how close we'd been and how much fun we'd had with our carnal activities of the evening before.

Once again, I found that it's when I don't worry that I really should.

"Grant, you know I love you, but it's not working, this long-distance relationship."

"I don't know, Vickie. Last night was the best."

She grinned and poked me playfully. "Yeah, it's great when we get together and have some privacy, like this weekend, but what if Jennifer hadn't decided to go home? Where would we have been then? In a hotel neither of us can afford? And what about next weekend, or the one after that? I need more, Grant. One weekend a month isn't enough, but that's all we've averaged since school started, except over Christmas."

Suddenly, I didn't like where this was headed, so I became more serious as I stepped back in. "Vickie, I'll start visiting more. I'll do every other weekend, okay? Come here, just like this weekend."

"Grant, Jennifer doesn't go home that much and that puts us back in the same shape, with a hotel room neither of us can afford very often, if someone will even rent us one. No, I think we need to take a break, to see other people, and see how life, and perhaps even love someday when we find it again, can be with someone closer on a more regular basis. We'll never know if we can make this work if we only see each other so rarely."

I could see it pained her to say it; there were tears on her cheeks, but she wasn't alone. There was a stabbing pain in my heart at her words. I wasn't ready to give in, to give up.

"Vickie, I love you and we can make this work if we try harder, if we work together on it."

"Grant, sometimes love alone isn't enough. Being together, day in, day out, is a big part of learning whether we can make it long term and we're growing and maturing but not getting that. Don't you see? The only difference might be if we were to, say, go to the same college."

"Vickie, your college doesn't offer my degree, remember? And I don't think mine offers yours. Do you want to try to find somewhere else that has both of them?"

"No, Grant. I'm sorry, I've thought about it a lot and last night was trying to convince myself that I was wrong, but, as good as it was, as much fun as we had, I don't think I'm wrong. We have to end this now, at least for now. Maybe after college, if we end up in the same place, maybe we'll be able to try again then."

"Unless we end up back at home, which we've both said we'd never do, or we decide together where we're going, which would limit our job opportunities, you know the chance of ending up in the same place is small to infinitesimal."

"I know, Grant, small but not impossible. For now, though, I'm sorry, but this is the end."

I nodded, realizing the truth of her words and her determination to go this route. We gave one last hug, long and tight, for old time's sake, before we gathered up my things and she drove me to the bus stop.

She didn't get out of her car when we arrived, but sat behind the wheel looking straight ahead while trying to keep from crying. I got out and pulled my duffel bag out of her back seat before leaning in the passenger door one last time.

"Bye, Vick. Best wishes to you."

"Bye, Grant. Be safe."

I wasn't sure but it looked like I saw tears on her cheek as I closed the door and watched her go. She looked straight ahead the whole time, as if knowing if she looked at me, her courage might fail and she would get back together with me. At least that's what I kept telling myself on the long bus ride back to school instead of the studying that I was trying to do.

That night, back on campus, my mind still wasn't into it and my studies weren't much better.

The next day, Monday, February 14, I flunked my exam, hating Valentine's Day the whole day long.

***

Chapter 4--Tuesday, February 14, 2006--College, Year 2

Vickie was gone from my life so after a period of hating on the luck of Valentine's Day, of personal reflection, and of generally feeling sorry for myself, I got back in the groove and started dating again.

There were, I eventually discovered, a lot of girls out there, and some could be just as much fun as Vickie Selkirk. While I struck out a number of times, there were still a number of dates over the next year, with a couple turning into several more dates before we finally acknowledged that we weren't forever material. Happily for me, those two and several of the single dates turned physical and I got to explore those coeds in particular and the college experience in general in more sensual detail.

However, as Valentine's Day 2006 approached, it reminded me of the anniversary of the breakup with Vickie and that weighed heavily on me. Remembering all the Valentine's Days past, I had my mom mail me the "I HATE VALENTINE'S DAY" t-shirt I'd bought with Alex several years before. I hadn't seen Alex since they moved, so I wondered if our hatred of the day was still mutual.

That Valentine's Day itself wasn't particularly memorable, though several people got a kick out of my shirt and I received high fives from a couple of guys I didn't even know. That evening, though, I was studying in the student center when I heard voices a short distance away. They weren't exactly loud but were definitely louder than usual and the two speakers were arguing. While I couldn't understand what was being said, the female voice was obviously upset while the male was seemingly persistent, and to me, irritating.

With his voice creeping louder over time, it was when he told her what she could do to herself and the high horse she'd ridden in on that he drew angry shushes from several of us nearby. He went slamming out moments later, battering everything in his path, before the usual peace and quiet returned. I looked back in my book then, trying to resume my studies only to have my concentration broken once more by a gentle sobbing sound.

I tried refocusing on my work, but the mournful sound continued, preventing me from accomplishing a thing. With a frustrated sigh, I rose and walked over to a nearby carrel where a young lady sat with her elbows on the desk and her head buried between them, her fingers laced together behind her long dark hair.

"Excuse me, miss? Are you okay?"

She raised up to look, revealing a sad, tear-stained but beautiful face the color of a creamy coffee before she swept her index fingers just below her eyes. With dark hair and dark eyes made cloudy from the tears, I guessed she was either Hispanic, of Mediterranean or Arabic extraction, or one of the world's best tanners.

"No, I'm not okay...but," she added, staring at the words on my red t-shirt, "I'd give you a hundred dollars for that shirt if I had a hundred dollars to give you for that shirt."

I didn't mean to do it but I chuckled at the incongruity of her statement, leading her to break a hint of a smile as well.

"Sorry, but this is my theme for the day," I said, "and besides, I don't have another shirt to put on if you had a hundred dollars to give me for it."

She looked at me for a moment before nodding. "Well, anyway, it sums up my perfectly shitty day quite well."

"I'm sorry. It sounded like you had a fight with someone."

Nodding, she replied, "My boyfriend—no, make that, ex-boyfriend. We broke up earlier today and he came over to find me, supposedly to try to make up, but it felt like he was just rubbing it in my face. I thought we had something special..."

"I'm sorry," I repeated. Sticking out my hand, I added, "I'm Grant Norwell."

She finally smiled when she took my hand and replied, "Hi, Grant, I'm Cassie Ortiz, and now a firm member of your club."

"Club?"

"The 'I hate Valentine's Day' club. Want to go somewhere and swap stories?"

I thought about all the work I had to do but I nodded. "I think I'd like that very much."

***

We found a seat in the Grill after I bought us a couple of their special Valentine's Day milkshakes. It wasn't really any better than their regular strawberry milkshake to me, but I was enjoying it as I sat across the booth from Cassie.

She was a junior, almost five months older than me but a year ahead in school, and she was from San Juan, Puerto Rico. Like many of the islanders, she spoke English and Spanish equally well, and she said she hoped to stay and work on the mainland after graduation. Just three or maybe four inches less than my own 6-feet, I could only imagine the attention her beauty would attract on the beaches of her island since she had my rapt attention in our booth.

"You said you broke up; did you want to talk about it?" I asked softly after she went silent and seemed to be dwelling on something which I guessed were the events of the day. "If not, I understand, and we can talk about something else...or maybe just sit here together and talk about nothing at all?"

Swirling the straw in her milkshake, she watched it before audibly sighing and giving a nod. "I thought this was going to be such a good day. Bill and I have, ah, had, been together since Freshman year and the way things had been going, I thought today might be the day that he'd pop the question. You know, get engaged now, get married right after graduation next year? It was a perfect little scenario I'd cooked up in my mind, but Dr. Kroft had something else to say about it."