All Comments on 'Dream Crusher'

You are the absolute best at developing storylines on this site. No cute twists or turns, I get so involved the characters literally come to life. Thank you for writing.

It is a tired old story... nothing new in this one.

...but again, and as always, shot down by crappy writing. Oh, not like he used to; but there were some problems that were just too distracting.<p>First, and I canNOT understand why the idiot doesn't get this, "your" and "you're" are TWO SEPARATE WORDS!!!! They are NOT THAT HARD TO FIGURE OUT!!! Why is this author so incredibly incapable of distinguishing between the two?<p>And then there was, " I couldn't bare to hear" -- couldn't *BEAR* to hear, moron, why is it so tough to write correctly?<p>Finally there's the problem of POV. While the protagonist is unconscious, he tells what the doctor said to the group.<p>SP, fire your editor, get a new one, or better yet quit writing. This is painful.

The plot was okay until he learned just in time that he was sterile. That was weak. POV issues cropped up several times, and I thought your editor had laid that problem to rest. Things like making a word plural, like parties, when you actually mean party is, or party's is confusing. You have been showing improvement, but you backslid with this story.

And Slirpuff is supplying a reasonable proportion of the acceptable LW stories. I hope that he remains dedicated to writing the stories and does not pay any attention to the complaints about POV, etc.

How many married couples have a child not belonging to the father's sperm... Betcha more than we would like to think

Before D.N.A. a lot of guys raised other peoples kids thinking they were the father, I'm sure some still do. Saw a Murry show where a black girl had three guys tested knowing one had to be the babies daddy, none were, she didn't have a clue. Thanks for the story.

Great story. You are doing a great job writing stories and your editor is doing a good job as well. Keep writing Slirpuff.

Nice writing job. The only minor criticism I would offer is the way in which Kim who was the major figure in the first 3/4 of your story just faded out of the story in the last page, deservedly so but just too quick.

60 year old George

great,very believable.

No matter how good the sex is, lying always creats a BIG problem. Loved the story. Hated Kim the bitch

A little predictable but very enjoyable. I am surprised he considered matrimony after what she put him through and their break up. Taking care of the baby does not always mean having to marry someone you have fallen out of love with and don't trust. But then the story probably wouldn't have been as much fun to read.

This is another fine story by Stirpuff. Yes, of course DNA could also have served to show him not to be the father.

I was thinking about what my reaction to see a girlfriend such as Kim loving it up with her boss. Since she didn't he was at the club in Chicago, If I had been the boyfriend I could have stayed and followed Kin and her boss to prove her infidelity. Write more, Slirpuff.

Slirps came from the other side of the tracks than you, with your fuckin hi n mighty holier than thou supercilious cunt comments. Maybe, yeh maybe he's doing a pretty good job entertainin us THE BEST HE CAN. What the fuck are you doin??-riledupnangrynotpissprickpete.Urls

I am beginning to wonder if the author is like mentally

retarded. Every god dam story it is the same shit.

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Given Kim's stated values... <i> You dont OWN me... There is No ring... I can see anyone I want to!."..</i> <b> WHY would Rick accept at FACE VALUE Kim's claim that the baby was HIS after 3 Months of NO communication?</b>

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If Kim was really pregnant with Rick's as the father

she would of called him that week

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NOT 90 or 100 days later.

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just wretched.

....and the cowardly and bizarrely(read, "juvenile") indignant stalker just below is probably fair.Why wouldn't you be grateful for slirpuff as his postings, (which you as a reader are giving a serious amount of YOUR time) at least occur within the realm of possibility! It sucks that other aspects are never consistent,but only authors who write completely juvenile crap denigrate this site and waste readers time enough to truly DESERVE grief, as opposed to CRITICISM.Slirpuff is never a waste of time.

TAMPA SHUT-UP. If you do not enjoy Slirpuff's storys do not I repeat do not read his storys. You should try writing since you are so anal about it.!!!

entertaining to say the least. Kim did not realize, at first , that Don was an asshole. But after two months she was certain she could live with Rick. Thats how I saw it, I don't know why Harry is so distraught, maybe Kim pulled one over on him. Good story Sirpluff, and the writing has really improved.

A completely believable story,with a good solid foundation to which the characters were built on.The author is as always a good storyteller and has done a fine job with this piece of work. Thanks for the story.....Rich

you think that Maury was bad Montel did a series of them one girl was back the second time .She had tested somewhere between 20-30 different guys and still couldent find the father<and guys i agree with pete if you dont like whats offered WRITE ONE YOURSELF DAMMITT

Interesting story. Compelling. But, show some respect for your readers and have a competent editor look over your manuscript before submitting it.

It was an entertainung read. I could not figure though whose dreams were actually "crushed". I saw a lot of immature experiments in relations (on and off and on again). It seemed to me that all had some sort of expectations /hopes romatically speaking. Of them, only the last relations evolved into mature sustained relations.

if the plot line is a "tired old story" as one commenter called it. The reason it's similar to other stories is that life has the same stories over and over. There is really nothing new in the world, so get over it. To the idiot from Tampa you complain about Slirpuff and his stories so why torture yourself and continue to read them. If this is the first of his stories that you have read then you can save yourself some time and not read any others and we won't have to contend with the tripe you write. Enough about comments. I enjoyed the story very much even though I didn't agree with some actions of the characters. My characters would have acted differently, maybe. There are some technical errors and aspects of the story but none that made me reread a passage or made me enjoy the story any less. I rated this story for its entertainment value. The technical BS will take care of itself in time. Keep up the good work and thank you. Woodmanone

Hey, not bad. Timeline on the hospital stay wasn't quite right to fit the emergency. Also the emergency itself seemed extensive and serious and you had our hero bouncing around with visitors in a day or so. You got me on the sterility twist, nice touch, didn't see it coming. Cute story. It's just a story but I was wondering why our hero didn't stay that night in Chicago to see it all, instead you put him on a plane, no way, humans are naturally curious, Kim is kissing another guy and Rickhops on a plane pissed off, nope. You gave the story away pretty early when you had Kim jump Rick's bones in a nonosecond and her stating she basically will jump just about anybody that she fancies. Not quite sure why you wanted to give away the story so fast but that is your business. Keep them coming.

Though you knew from the beginning that the child wasn't his, Kim was to obviously a slut for it to be anything else. His mom was a controlling bitch wasn't she? Dad wasn't much better, 'you have to do the right thing...'. The right thing is pay child support if proven to be the father, not to marry someone you aren't interested in and make 3 lives miserable. Certianly not to take the word of someone who's been demonstrated to be a slut.

This is one of your best stories yet.

Thank You

a man cannot be stupid enough to see what this idiot has seen and not know she was cheating on him all the time..Itwouldnt take his accident to call his attention to it by the doctor...

i am amazed at how stupid these authors make white men out to be...

A very entertaining story. I am enjoying Slirpuff's work more and more. I am also enjoying reading the many comments. Obviously his writing is good enough to create intense interest by the naysayers. To write their critiques it is obvious that they still take the time to read what they label 'mindless crap'. I am still waiting to read some of their stories but then I wouldn't know coz' they are anonymous. Keep writing Slirpuff and a middle finger raised to the naysayers.

Very realistic. I think Harry and a few others should switch to erotic sites or Sci-fi or something. They get theirselves so worked up in their hatefulness if a story don't go their way. These are stories with different plots about cheaters...and Slirpuff delivers a lot of them, which is great for us readers! Why does the spelling and other errors bother some of you so much? Are you the ghost authors we don't see stories from? Or are you "nonny mouse" authors that are jealous of his abilities to write such good stories? Most of us read the story and ignore any spelling mistakes...why can't you all? It don't matter much...you know? A perfectly edited story that isn't interesting is much worse...don't ya think?

"You don't own me" is always a red flag. And do some research. A Human can't survive at just % body fat

you and your characters are very simple, not very bright.

only things:

1) he should have been suspicious about the pregnancy since Kim had lied enough times alreday..

2) she sends a lot of messages covering up her lies and then pleading forgiveness for her lies ... then foisting the baby off onto him, then apologising for her ignorance... what a load of bullshit! I can't comment on whether she should be forgiven but it is a really hard case. Why didn't she just go off with Don; she doesn't really love her former fiance'! Hopefully having a baby will make her fucking wise up

Great story! Although the ballot maxes out at 5, my write-in vote is 10.

Author has some interesting ideas for story lines; just can't seem to find a good editor. Still doesn't know difference between your and you're.

Always, always has the male be a coward and run away from confrontation or relationship issues. Maybe someday stories will improve.

It seems to that, frankly, if husbands and wives didn't have communication and relationship issues that they failed to confront, there wouldn't be much use to having a "loving wives" category. Except, of course, for the "I just love to be a cuckold" variety. LOL

The leanest athletes typically compete at levels of about 6–13% for men. Bodybuilders may compete at ranges even lower than these levels.

Because DWitless gave it 1*

thank you i really enjoyed this story. i almost had a girl do the same thing. but im not sterile. i do have another condition though. my dick dont make precum. never has never will. the only time ma lil swimmers cum out is at ma climax. so if i am careful aboot pullin out im a real safe bet. after a weekend of daubatery where she was pretty drunk and had thought i came in her cuz we always went bareback and lets just say i made her pretty sloppy with juices and came all over the wet spot on the bed. she got it in her mind that i had cum in her. i was more sober all weekend and i know i didnt. she turned up pregnant, blamed me. i knew better and just put the wedding off till after the baby. ooooh her parents and mine were pissed when it turned out it wasnt mine. i just smiled LMAO

so good story!

oh and whats the story aboot this dwarnock dipshit? never read anyones comments that were so stoopid before! LOL

LAST LONG LIFE FOR THE DNA TEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but samples are great too. TK U MLJ LV NV

Simply because in the end you made him a loser by making him sterile therefore taking away any chance of h having a real family, otherwise an ok story.

DNA is great

His mother is a complete Nutjob, she endorsed the Slut again and again even after the truth came out and then is completely shocked, when it turns out: the Slut is a Slut! Have to say though when she came back pregnant and everybody was like "you have to marry her" even Barb that was harsh. I mean he has a responsibility towards the child, but why exactly would he sacrifice all happiness for the rest of his life to make her an honest woman (as if any amount of sacrifice could have done that - slut!)

Thanks for sharing.

I liked the story and how you presented it. Keep up the good work.

Never heard of such a dumb mother, to be honest. He has definately got some of her genes. First halb angers because of the full blown stupidity, but eventually the story turn the way i like it.

the woman was cheating, it comes out the man can't have kids. Where is all the he had bouts of depression? He had an affair because, he wouldn't have any offspring, where is all the he felt less than a man? Nope, it was him asking his new GF how she feels about, he's like "fuck it" so what I can't have kids. If she can't have kids, she has an affair, she fucks around, has less respect for the husband. In your story, No One Won, she castrates him, when he cheated. She took the house, half the money and fucked him over for 2 years. She had someone elses kid and it's like no biggie.

When the man can't have a kids, it's oh well. On to the next guy, she'll bounce back like the great woman she is. And you guys call me a woman hater, is this any better.

Sterility is the least of his problems. At less than 3% body fat (less then most body builders) he will be dead in a week. The human body can't survive at such a low level. Even body builders only reach that level for 2 or 3 days as they peak for a competition.

This story is over 3 years old and that character is still alive. Shows how much you know.

The writer had made great strides in this story that held my interest throughout. Kim was definitely marriage material with a bad attitude and immature behavior. However, the fact that they weren't engaged to be married formally set the stage for ambiguous behavior. The fact that Kim lied and acted affectionately towards Don the first time was enough for most men to cancel any further plans of marriage or commitment at any level. Kim wasn't ready for a serious commitment as demonstrated by her behavior. Her career decisions outweighed her relationship. Barb on the other hand was more settled and she approached her life decisions in an empirical fashion to maintain her responsibility to her daughter and herself.

I hate to say he was lucky he was shooting blanks but it got him off the hook with being the father with an unfaithful woman. Worked out well as he already had a new faithful love interest. Great tale.

Its tragic that this sort of lie is every where. just watch Maury. Couldn't be honest? I did not know a ring would make someone faithful? what did people do before the jewelers created the wedding ring? I guess infidelity ran rapid every where? Great story, continue writing, one of the best authors on this site. 5 stars

I am glad to read a story that was not a downer, most of them have been downers for me. No revenge, no good outcomes for the men. I am a BTB guy, mostly and hate to see the cheating sluts win out. I thought I was reading Matt Moreau for a while, I was reading down his page and had to stop. Thank you for having a story with a good ending. Actually, the cruise story turned out OK.

Sure, she only fucked Don twice (her story) after letting him do all but fuck her on the dance floor. I know this is just a story but this got me riled up.

and along the way a new galaxy, TK U MLJ LV NV

She says he doesn't "own" her, and she is right. But they are a couple, at least informally engaged, that implies a code of behavior that doesn't allow for other men to get overly familiar.

Plus, supposedly her boss apologized and wasn't going to touch her again. So either she lied, or she let her boss out of his lie.

You stay faithful not because you have to but because you choose to. Once you are in a serious relationship, monogamy is the rule even if you're just teenagers going steady. Her nonsense about not yet having a ring is just a poor excuse for cheating.

your stories are always so heartfelt and with honest characters in spite of the bad one. It's an inspiration that they may be some good in this world

His mother said he should put a ring on her to keep her from cheating.

If she was going to cheat (and she obviously was!), being engaged, or heaven forbid, married wouldn't have stopped her. Actually it was better that the WEREN'T more formally attached, made the break up easier!

I liked the story, the situational emotions, and the conclusions that were had. I find that in your stories, the differences in reactions, based on age, or better yet maturity of the people involved. nicely done

Couldn't give you 5 stars.....not enough pain inflicted on the piece of shit, Kim.

As the old saying goes, the ring would only serve to keep honest people honest. Can't believe that her father got her shitcanned with a baby on the way.

Ok, not the exact quote but the idea is there. All a ring does is let people know that you are in a committed relationship. But, if you don't act like you are the ring does not create a force field around your genitals and keep you pure. You have to do that yourself. Kim was self centered from the beginning and he should have been, and was careful and observant around her. He saw what was happening, recognized it for what it was and bailed on her. He should have stuck to his guns and not had anything to do with her, sexually. The way she was playing if I were Barb I would have insisted on a blood test for STDs. An oft used playground is bound to have some rough places on it, or in it.

Pretty good story, good characters and why shouldn't Kim's dad have fired them both. She was in Chicago on a business internship and if she had been screwing around with a non co-worker Dad could have been okay with it. But she was screwing with the men she worked with in her father's business. As his daughter she not only represented the company but him too. Perception is a big deal in business. You have to be able to trust the company to give them your business and the employees of that company are how you gauge that trust. And, Don was her boss and her mentor and an executive in said company who obviously made no bones about what he was doing and what he allowed. Eyes are every where, weighing, judging and clients are always watching the upper management of their business partners.

Just goes to show you, don't marry a girl that let's you screw her on the first date. Probably not on the second date either. Good story. Angst, tension, guts churning, knowing that she's a slut, but your pride not letting you believe it.

the chance of any number are way greater than 1 out of 2. TK U MLJ LV NV

Exactly what the wearer wants it to mean... All or nothing.

Wolf Vixen needs her own editor/proofreader. Lots of absolutely unbelievable things: 1. He needed only three hours of surgery. 2. He was released from the hospital in less than 72 hours. 3. The doctor was able to divine he was sterile before Kim got pregnant. 4. More?

Tags: "cheating" = more appropriate than "cheating wife." There was no anal and no real revenge.

still a good read.

He would have needed many, many hours of surgery with 4 pieces of iron stuck in him. And he would have been in the hospital for a long, long time (think weeks) before they let him out. And then he probably would have needed to go to a rehab facility for 5 or 6 weeks minimum. Other than that mistake, good story.

I always appreciate it when cheaters get their just desserts!

It reads like it was written in the 1950's! He HAS TO marry her, because she is pregnant? He never asks for a DNA test? That shit went out with the dinosaurs! Just because she is carrying a baby, doesn't mean he has to marry a selfish slut and be miserable for the rest of his life. It just means he has to accept his responsibility as a father, and support and raise the kid, (if it was his) but he doesn't need to marry her to do that!

It should have been a moot point, anyway, and would have been, anywhere else, but in a Slirpuff story. Only in a Slirpuff story will you get a loser moron than repeatedly crawls after an obvious slut, time after time after time, KNOWING she is a cheating slut because "She's pretty, and is good at sex". Well, who wouldn't be good at sex, with the amount of practice Slirpuff's women get! Realistically, it would never get as far as a pregnancy scare, because anyone that wasn't a completely desperate moron with no self-esteem would NEVER have a relationship with such an obviously narcissistic tramp. And even if they did, even they would grow a brain, and run a mile, as soon as she wanted a long distance relationship. Even idiots learn, after catching her for the seventeenth time. Everyone except Slirp's guys!

I have to agree with Tim413413. I guess the biggest thing is that there was nothing in here with the slightest hint of revenge. Along with a few other explanations of his of his. That being said, the story was really good reading. I enjoyed the ending along with enjoying reading this story. I think that the way it ended was good because I love it when the bitch gets her just rewards. all-in-all it was a good story.

“what if her eyes wander and she finds someone else?" – And if she DOES, better that it happen now, than after they’re married!

“we weren't married and she'd dance with whom ever she wanted to.” – Two things: First, they may not be married, but I presume they ARE exclusive, and second, the question isn’t WHOM she is dancing with, but HOW they are dancing!

It may not “be what it looks like” and may just “be a little friendliness”, but then why LIE about it when he called?

She says until there’s a ring on her finger she’ll do whatever she pleases. If she wants to do what she pleases a ring ain’t gonna stop her!

Like many of the other stories this really need a proofreader. I don't know if the author just doesn't spend enough time proofreading, have a mild form of dyslexia, or perhaps didn't get their money's worth in English Class.

This is the kind of work a significant portion of the stories need to have a polished presentation, fixing typos, problems with homophones, and punctuation etc:

She e-mail - She e-mailed

whom ever - whomever

down loaded - downloaded

lively hood - livelihood

was suppose - was supposed

The girls got - The girl's got

at your moms - at your mom's

If your free - If you're free

who's baby - whose baby

babies - baby's

every thing - everything

your sterile - you're sterile

Parties over - Party's over

use to - used to

your asking - you're asking

have tongue - have a tongue

she had a nice set - she has a nice set

He goes through all that baloney with Kim and still lets her bamboozle him. And then, still full of stitches, he just can't wait to screw around with Barb and bust some of those stitches. This guy just wasn't too bright was he? Plus he has no self control. Good that he ended up with Barb. The rest? Not so good.

it really would have been something if the baby was black ! ! !

he saw her CHEAT on him, and he is the bad guy because he doesn't TRUST her? are you a fucking moron, Slirpuff? your characters sure all are.

I read one of the comments about you needing a proofreader. Unfortunately, I agree completely. I find it hard to believe that someone who has written as much as you have doesn't know the difference between "your" which is possessive, as in "Your car has a flat tire" and "you're" which is a contraction of "you are." Homonyms cause a lot of problems for amateur writers, but your and you're should have been addressed in junior high or middle school.

There were a number of typos, too, but your constant mixing up these two was too much. I gave it 4* even though the story probably deserves a 5* rating.

Some of the laziest writing I've ever seen. Wrong words, misspelled words, the wrong forms of words, this author doesn't have a clue. Then there's all the racist shit he spouts. What an asshole.

If you don't like his stories don't read them.If you think you can do a better job go for it,but i doubt you can.Keep up the good work slirpuff and just ignore the ignorant assholes.

Seriously I know there are people this brainless, even more so . But the stubborness and and blindness are hard to work with.

Keep writing, we really enjoy your stories. Don't worry about the Anony's that keep throwing insults - reading your stories is the only bright spot in their sad, cowardly, little lives and they resent you for it. Bitter little basement dwellers, aren't they?

Keep writing. You have a good imagination and write about a variety of scenarios. That keeps it interesting. Just stay away from wimpy males and you're golden.

When Rick's mother was ill Kim basically moved in and took care of her, and the two men, for at least several weeks. So as far as Rick's mother and father were concerned, Kim should have been near to walking on water. A lot of daughter in-laws wouldn't go to such trouble. That's the "out" I see everyone giving Kim, until it was proven she cheated AND tried to foist someone else's kid onto Rick.

Kim lied about her whereabouts when Rick saw her in Chicago. Why would he trust anything she had to say without the least bit suspicion? He just seemed to go with whatever she said.

Marrying someone without love is a huge mistake. As bad as getting someone pregnant out of wedlock. Unless of course your goal is to be miserable.

Kim had no real remorse. Sure she took care of his parents when Rick's mom was sick, but that doesn't mean she loved him.

It was Rick’s parents that were giving her the benefit of the doubt (and oddly enough her parents, or her father, was on Rick’s side), since, as I said, at that point she was their Florence Nightingale. As well as anyone associated more with Rick’s parents than Rick. I think everyone one else was neutral or on Rick’s side.

If Kim said it was only twice that she slept with Don you can be sure it was ten times that amount.

Did they jerk him off while unconscious?

He doesn't trust her any more? Well no shit Sherlock. You're falling for an obvious spoiled brat nympho slut. First date you should have categorized her in the party girl section of your life. Should have known she wasn't wife material when you looked up and saw her naked.

And WTF is it with Literotica moms that want the son to do stupid things for tramps?

well that ends well. You young lads-learn the difference between wife material and all the rest of them. Bang what you want taking precautions and avoiding trouble but don't let any girl get to your heart who isn't wife material.

Tell me Slirpuff, did you ever pass a spelling test or a grammar test? If you did then you should go back to your teachers and give them shit. Why? Because you can't spell and your grammar is terrible! Gave the story a 3 because of the effort and the potential. The thought that went into it and all the rest was subpar imo.

learn to write you no talent hack. you got the gist of what the story was about, so fuck off shit bird.....or did i miss spell that. Fucking out of work teachers!

so so so many things wrong with this story. im starting to think english isnt ur first language and the wolf vixen's as well. if so sorry about the comments on ur other stories. why would they think that he has to marry someone he doesnt trust or love to raise a child. so so many things wrong with this story. think i might move on to a diff author while waiting for new LW stories gl to ya

Although the story is somewhat transparent it is a “feel good” read. Just what I needed this morning as I go through your stories again. Thank you for sharing your talent with me.

I couldn’t help but notice the comments at my finish and am amazed that there are so many knuckleheads reading and commenting on this story and many others of yours that have been well vetted for 9 years. I know that my thought doesn’t matter to them but I needed to get my feelings of their stupidity off my chest.

Very grateful for what you do.

... when Rick’s mother got sick for 2 months. That’s not trivial, not acting “spoiled”, and plenty of reason for Rick’s side of the family to give Kim the benefit of the doubt. Or is everyone else here trivializing it? If so, then I think you’re pretty fucking shallow. Anyone here had a girlfriend (remember, not even engaged yet) who would have done that for them in a similar situation? If so, I hope you married them.

Did Kim fuck up big time? Absolutely. Do I think, for this story’s sake, she truely believed Rick was the father? Yes. I think she loved Rick, and was in absolute denial about the possibility of Don being the father. That self denial is probably the sign of her immaturity due to being spoiled. But in helping Rick’s family the way she did she showed, deep down, she was a caring person. Immature? Yes. Spoiled? Yes. In self denial? Probably. But a treacherous gold digger? No. Remember, her father was rich.

Perhaps she was an “emotional” gold digger. Wanting the attention of others? Though certainly selfish, not necessarily a sign of immaturity. I think it’s just being human. It’d be the case of wanting your cake and eating it too. Could Rick ever really trust her? No. Probably not. Definitely let her go. But I think it’s she’s more mentally ill, if she can delude herself that much, than her being an evil bitch.

Kim hitting him with her pregnancy or a baseball bat? She repeatedly lies to him. And disrespects him. Why he stayed with her was an exercise in futility. He never learns. Not good.

soft top corvette? doesn't like big tits?

gay.

you fucking disgrace for mankind, are you still alive? No one cares about your stupid wimpy comments. Each time you write something only shows you are just a brainless wimpy faggot. Something is really really wrong with you. You need professional help.

Seriously, lay off the crack

I think you have some very valid points about Kim ( etchiboy ). But I think she already know she was pregnant when she came back got in a fight with Rick on purpose. then went back made out like she was sorry. then nothing. Until she about ready to come home with a bastard child. So gotta make Rick think its his. He should have said if DNA says is his he would make an honest bitch out of her. But not before.

5***** +

He never should have taken her to bed that last time. Talk about letting the little head do the thinking! When you find a girl like that, you run and you run as fast as you can.

Another great story from a master. Fuck Kim, since everyone else did. Glad he found a happy ending.