All Comments on 'Dream Cum True'

Nice story but the changes in person from he to you were a little distracting. Maybe an editor is in order or perhaps just more proof reading?

An OK story. But there are some odd things: how many women have both a husband and a roommate? Why does the man have a son and a girlfriend, and if he does, what is he doing here? I think the story would make more sense, or be more satisfactory, if it were just two people strongly drawn to one another without those other relationships.

I agree that you could use an editor. There is at least one missing word: "invading my personal" — what? Space? There are a number of contractions that lack apostrophes (I'll, I'm). In the last paragraph, three sentences in a row have the word "cock" — that gets repetitive; add some more variety, like "My hole clenches around you. I explode on your cock. I writhe and scream in pleasure." (Note that I also changed the order: "explode" is big, the highlight; build up to it rather than leading with it. I can see "writhe and scream" after exploding, but wouldn't the clenching come first?) There is some awkward wording, like "I have accomplished to fuck you" — that's just not an English sentence.

You have a strong imagination and paint a vivid picture of wanting/desire. If you can get some help polishing your English style and grammar, you could become a very good writer.

Thank you for the feedback. Though I did not get to fuck my coworker, the rest is true. I do have a husband and we had a roommate which is more common than you think. I will be more careful in my proof reading and try to use different adjectives.

A guy can dream, too...

I can only imagine your state as you were writing this. I know what mine was as I was reading...

You're a strong writer, nearly as strong as the hard-on you gave me as I read. Can't wait to be moved by your next story.

-Dandan