All Comments on 'Dreams Ch. 04'

you know you're wrong for this little teaser, right? lol! anyway, great as always and update sooner!!!!!

,,,,,good job ! Ana now has Natalia's new job ready as the beach bar's erotic masseuse at Hilton's Africans swingers resort near Miami..she is popular and averages 18 half hour "sessions" per day and she is live on the internet 24/7.she loves the massively hung huge basketball players...what fun..the ladie fan pay her $300. to assist her basketball "massages",,,,,,,

Continue please.

Love this heart wrenching story. The two characters seriously need some time apart to figure out what's wrong with their marriage. Natalia needs to build up her self esteem and backbone otherwise she will still end up constantly worrying about how to please Jason and how to keep him wanting her. For heaven sake, that guy not only cheated on her once but twice. As for Jason, he should not take Natalia for granted and think that he can stay married and still fool around. Make him pay and suffer for his mistakes and realise that Natalia is no longer an easy lay.

I'm really not pushing for Jason. He seems to be ripe to be an abusive husband with the grabbing her and the intense jealousy and the need to control her. She can't just go back for the sake of the child. that won't end well. Reality is he won't stop cheating and if he does for a time she's always gonna wonder when he next will. Sadly, I don't think there is much of a chance of this working. She has to stay strong and show him she's not just gonna roll over and accept his pathetic attempt at an apology or use sex to get her back. I don't like that he seems to blame everyone else for his actions. 'Don't make me make a scene'. You have quite a job ahead of you to bring myself and I'm sure other readers around to believe he could possibly be any good for her.

You have me wanting to read more! Your grammar has improved so much from the first chapter, I think you are paying more attention and putting more effort it. Your true skills are showing. Please update like you said you would, in a week or so, as I am patiently waiting to read more. Natalia has captured my attention because of the impeccable humane qualities you have given her. You do not make her some strong, amazing character. Instead, she is weak, yet agile. She is not one-dimensional like most characters you read her. She has depth -- she feels pain, but she wants him; she realizes what he has done, but cannot forgive him. This makes for an interesting story because I don't know her next move. Will she show up for dinner? Will she stay home? Will he go find her if she does not show up? Geez-I am just spilling my thoughts here! Once again, thanks for updating, even if it is a tease. I am genuinely interested in this story!!

Why is it in White on White romance, the female character gets to spunky, angry, tough, resourceful, and generally someone we can admire. Yet in interracial stories, the White males are all always these alpha-types and the Black females are noting but a sexual being who can't resist or is still in love with some mistreating "White guy". I have yet to meet a Black woman who would be swooning at some guy's cologne after he cheated on her twice. Most of my girls would be trying to wipe this man's "cologne" off with a MACHETE. I'm very disappointed about how Black female characters are depicted in these stories. Are we saying you can't be a strong Black female and be with a White man? Or is it that White men are not attracted to strong Black women? Why do we have to be written as this compromise between a stereotypical White woman and an Asian woman (i.e. subservient/acquiescent super slut). I'm just tired of this theme.

I hope this would not be another let's kiss and make up for the sake of the baby and forgive and forget the past story. Perhaps flashback base on Jason's perspective might provide us with hindsights as to why he kept cheating on his wife. After all, it takes two to make or break a marriage. I also agree with some of the readers that while I could not resist an alpha white male in any IR romance, I would love to see an equally strong and capable African American lady who would be able to match the wits of the opposite sex.

The plot is weak, the story is too slow and it needs major editing. And why is everything on this page in italics...it is not a dream sequence or thoughts or telepathy so it should not be in italics.

Please don't listen to that last person who made that comment, WHO GIVES A SHIT IF IT'S IN ITALICS! Damn, lol I love this story, yes Natalias a fool for still being in love with Jason, but honestly when your in that deep love you can't help it, I know people who love to hard and they can't help it even when their partners are ass's but don't listen to haters its a good story just needs to be developed. Thanks, Olivia :)

I'd like to say I don't know why this chapter is italicized, I did not request it to be in that format. No, it is not a dream.

Moving on, thank you for all the positive feedback and the critiques. I'm working on the next chapter so that it will be long and fully edited.

A side note: To those who do not enjoy the story, the plot, the characters, or any other minor details in the story, please don't burden yourself by reading. Don't even bother wasting your energy and time to flame the story, it's not worth it. Fortunately, Literotica provides thousands of other stories for you to enjoy. Lovely, isn't it? :)

Thanks again for the reviews - So encouraging!

For someone new to story writing, you have actually done a fine job so far. Bear with the feedbacks as they will certainly help you develop your plot and make you a better writer. After all, constructive or critical feedbacks are better than no feedback at all! That said, this story focus on adultery in a marriage and it would be interesting to see how Jason and Natalia overcome their problems to enable them a second chance at love. Do not rush the story as it is definately NOT moving at a slow pace. If one were to look at Literotica IR Hall of Fame, most of the hot favorites average about 10 chapters. So keep it up sweetheart as I hope to add you as one of my favorite IR author. A tiny request though, please do not disappoint your readers by giving up on the story. Do complete it, tks.

I want to tell you again that you clearly have the talent to write a good story. What you need to do is spend more time on it, and it wouldn't hurt to get a good editor to look things over for you. There's a reason for this saying:

[i]Two heads are better than one[/i].

Five.

things are heating up as ur plot thickens. continue soon plz

Hi gal, we're all dying to know more and need you to update your story soon!