Dreams Ch. 06

CHAPTER SIX: "PURE MAGIC"

"I just love him so very very much," said Adoria. Her face painted a picture of absolute exaltation.

Even her name suggested Romance writ large.

The occasion was rare. Never before had they received such a request. Katie, representing Dreams, looked to Jess and Susan. She knew the story they'd just heard touched them just as much as it touched herself. Helena, who they had asked to help now that she was in the beginnings of a relationship with Ron, was on the brink of tears.

Katie recalled the original email she'd received from Adoria. Not an application, but an email.

Dear Madam,

I am writing to you with a matter of the heart. I have tried in many other places, but no one seems to be able to advise me what to do. Please be patient with me.

I am a 22-year-old girl. A year ago, I met the most wonderful man you could ever imagine. He is kind, selfless, gentle and so romantic! He brings me flowers, cooks amazing dinners, loves nature and long walks in the sunsets—and he cares for other people, has patience of an angel... Oh, I could talk for hours about Carl, how he looks at me, he adores me, he really does and I feel so lucky to have found him.

There is just one thing—and you say you help people so they are fulfilled, so I thought I'd ask—you see, when he was younger, Carl - he's 25 now—had a long period of OCD and depression - to do with puberty and sexuality when he was 13 years old. It was a horrible time; he had these sexual thoughts - natural for boys that age, I suppose - but tried to repress them, get them out of his mind, as they disgusted him. I think his mum was too prude and he thought these thoughts wrong—got himself into a 3-year long battle. My heart aches when I think of this—he got mental health support and got better, but now in our relationship it's coming back to haunt him, I am afraid...

Please forgive me for being so bold—for a while now, I've been dreaming of him making love to me—I want to be his, only his, be together with him, feel him kiss me all over—but most of all, for him to feel happy—

But my poor Carl is afraid of it; somehow, he still thinks it's all crude and terrifying. Every night I dream of his touch and his tender beautiful caressing of me - oh, I am so sorry for such a candid letter... I've never done it before, but maybe you could help? I am afraid of losing him and I am aching for his embrace... making love to my Carl would be the most beautiful thing on earth... but I don't want to hurt him, either, and he's ever so fragile—

Can you help? Please help.

Adoria xox

If Helena had been the picture of innocence, charm and beauty when she first came through their doors for her meeting with Ron, then Adoria was one of absolute, pure love. Dressed in a flowing white and pale-pink summer floral dress, every feature of hers signalled 'love', 'romance' and 'sublime'. It was difficult to believe that she wore no make-up; her beauty was perfectly natural: her soft, thin lips, rosy cheeks and delicate nose of the Eastern European variety. Her eyes seemed turquoise and glimmered with affection as she talked about Carl. There was grace about her figure; she appeared to be moving her long slender arms and delicate fingers of her palms in a princess-like, romantic manner. It was the kind of refined person who you wouldn't expect to sit down without crossing her legs. When speaking about Carl, she was positively glowing and radiant. Sadness crept into her expressive eyes only when speaking of his anxieties and troubles; she seemed completely selfless, that is to say when she spoke of making love it was more about how he was unhappy rather than how she was longing it.

"Sweetie," Helena set a tone for the conversation once they'd heard the story from Adoria's own lips, "I don't think they're experts at mental health issues in relationship—"

"I know, dearie." Adoria would put in these outdated phrases into her talk from time to time. "But you do help people realise their dreams, don't you? It's just that I've tried in so many other places— I just ache for my dearest to be happy—please?" Her body trembled as though her desire for his contentedness was eating her from the inside.

She stopped to catch her breath.

"Once I pushed my beloved Carl too far—" Adoria did not shy away from openly using terms of endearment as though she was in fact a character from an 18th century romance novel, "and he sort of shrank and got scared. I'd need to think of something else—that wouldn't hurt him. You don't hurt your prince, do you?"

Katie watched Adoria intently as she was talking, utterly captivated by the girl's beauty, enthralling innocence and completely unashamed show of romantic emotions. It was like the girl completely ignored the fact that the 21st century existed. She looked at Helena, who understood this very well.

"We could set something up. Probably," Katie ventured.

Adoria looked distinctly hopeful. "Like, what?" There was practically begging present in her large pupils.

"We could?" Jess said it; others just looked at Katie curiously.

"Darling," Katie reached out to hold Adoria's hands in hers, "we're not relationship counsellors, psychologists or sex therapists." Adoria virtually shrank at the term 'sex therapists', evidently repelled by the very unromantic and technical notion that it carried. "We can't help you in that way. However—" she paused, eager to get as much satisfaction from prolonging the silence as long as she could, "we could provide you with context."

Adoria frowned. Susan thought this was the most gorgeous frown she'd ever seen in her life.

"We could provide you with a romantic getaway, a place to go where things might go a bit more smoothly." Adoria, on hearing this, clapped her hands delightedly like a small child getting a long-desired present. "Haven't you thought of that yourself before?"

"I cannot afford such things." Adoria's face fell. The clash between her romantic inclinations and the realities of life was written all over her face, all too obvious for all to see.

"Well, we can. We have a cabin in a wood in Cotswolds. It's in Castlett Wood. Very romantic interiors, lovely woodland with lovely beech trees and riverside walks opportunities nearby." She paused, catching Adoria's quizzical look.

"Darling," she explained. "We can provide the place, but it'd be up to you to make it happen. And—"

"Yes-?" Adoria was already biting her lip nervously.

"You'll need to make it all about how beautiful it is. I don't think you think of it in any other way, but with Carl, it has to feel safe, romantic and wonderful. Take care that things happen only when he wants them."

"Oh, I know!"

"Take him on a riverside walk, hold hands, look at the countryside, have a meal together - with no strings attached - make him breakfast in bed. Lots of flowers, lots of embracing, lots of care." Adoria was already beaming at the prospect of treating Carl in such a dreamy way. "Then, maybe—"

"Oh, this just sounds so sweet. I love him so much, you know." Her body jerked as if jolted by a thrill. It was incredibly sweet, particularly when chances of this bizarre scheme actually working were so distant. Surely, you can't just delete years of a man's anxiety in one holiday? But, Helena thought, if anyone can do it, Adoria can. This young fairy was truly love embodied! Besides, this young man must have been quite someone, despite his anxieties, to have grasped her attention as much as he clearly had; Helena wondered what the man looked like...

"And if it doesn't work, so be it. And if Carl doesn't want to, I'd be happy to stay with him and for him forever anyway." Every time Adoria said his name, it was in a tone that made one think it was engraved in pink. "He is more important to me than what I want." Helena's eyes watered thinking about this level of love - herself, she was a very affectionate young woman, but even she could not think like this, sacrifice herself for her love so selflessly. Every word of Adoria's betrayed that the making love she was dreaming about was at least as much about making Carl happy as it was about her own fulfilment.

Helena wiped off her cheek the tears that rolled down. "You're so beautiful, Adoria," she said. It came out in a shaky, emotional voice. "I'll call you Astraea."

The others looked at her questioningly. "The Greek goddess of innocence and purity," she explained calmly before taking a step towards Adoria and placing a very gentle kiss on her cheek. 'Astraea' blushed and smiled rather meekly. There was silence in the room for a good few seconds. Normally, they dealt with physical desires; now, faced with utter purity of love, they all felt their hearts beating again. Had they lost something that this tender-hearted muse retained?

"I say we do what Katie says," Helena said firmly, turning to the other women. "I don't know how or why you were asked to help with this," she chuckled, "but since you were, we need to do this." She found Adoria's hand and slipped it into her own. "In the name of love."

Jess and Susan nodded vigorously. Katie smiled. "I don't know how or where you've found a man who is anxious about sex - that is certainly not my experience! - but we'll do our best to bring you into a union together."

Adoria tore herself apart from Helena and, theatrically, in Shakespearian kind of way, threw herself on her knees in front of Katie. "Oh, thank you! How can I ever repay you?"

Katie laughed at this ancient display of emotions. "Getting up from your knees, you silly and beautiful girl, would be a good start!"

Adoria smiled back, a shy and thankful smile that said it all. She'd drop to her knees again if the opportunity presented itself: her heart and kindness ruled her actions.

"Oh," Katie added after a quick consideration, "as to repaying, all of this is on us. Don't even think of trying to pay us. We will not tarnish this one with pounds and credit cards."

"And—" Helena sat next to Adoria and cupped her cheeks in her hands, "I am treating you to dinner tonight. I want to know more about you."

They were now sleeping in separate bedrooms. Stuart had hoped Jill would ease up on the anger with time, but the opposite seemed to be happening: she was becoming more indignant, suspicious, accusing him of even more infidelity, "toxic masculinity" and "destroying their relationship". That morning, she slammed the door hard after yet another fuming tirade. He sighed a deep sigh of relief when he heard the car starting and then watched Jill drive away for work into the streets. It was his day off today, so he was planning to relax today. Although thinking of Lily would likely not give him a moment's peace, he knew that much... There was a sudden peace and quiet after Jill had left that had him almost overwhelmed.

He sat on the sofa and stretched his arms behind his head lazily. All of a sudden, he froze, noticing something just to the left of his foot on the floor. In her outrage, she left her handbag back home! Stuart's eyebrows went up, realising with both mischief and delight the opportunity this presented. Was there not a chance she'd have some way of contacting her family if she really needed to, even though she'd estranged them? What if - please please! - there is some phone number or address for where Lily lives in there?

Without thinking and without much remorse, he snatched the cream leather bag up from the floor and put it onto his lap. He knew full well Jill might realise the lack of her things very quickly and come back for it, so he'd better hurry.

The astonishing state of women's handbags - there seemed to be everything here that he'd never need - tissues, lipsticks, shop receipts, her purse with credit cards and cash in... No phone - she did have it her pocket when she left, but per-haps—The address book there? An odd thing to keep in the 21st century, and even more so in a bag such as this, but there it was.

Frantically, he pulled it out and scanned it once for her family surname... P... Q... R... S... His pulse was faster with wild anticipation and dread of failure and the notion that the hell she'd give him if she knew what he was doing would dwarf anything that'd just happened before she left or earlier in the street in front of her sister...

The 'S' section of the address book had quite a few names... Sands... Satchel... Sears... Sedgwick... Sewell... (he wondered who on earth all those people were - he never heard of them, not one of them... She might have been more of a closed book than he thought.)... Sinclair... Sitaray... Sorkin... Sowerby... Spades... He was getting close - come on!... SPENCER!

Spencer, Amy. Never heard of her.

Spencer, Belinda. This was Jill's and Lily's mother.

Spencer, Charles. He'd heard of him before. One of the uncles.

Spencer, Gemma. Jill had mentioned Gemma the grandma before. Very Catholic. Ran Alpha groups, apparently - Bible study groups. One of those in the family who'd condemn any fornication—Jill hated the woman.

Spencer, George. Another uncle if Stuart's memory didn't fail him.

Spencer, Jillian.

Jillian! Jill!

"Yes!" Stuart gave a quick shout. There was a home address and two phone numbers. One for something called "Buckley's" and another which looked like a personal mobile. Stuart snatched his mobile phone out of his pocket and snapped a photo of the page as soon as he could before pushing the address book back into the handbag and replacing it on the floor where it started.

No one knocked on the door. At least not yet. Stuart was not thinking - certain that he had a way to contact his girl, he had to text her now. He felt like a schoolboy thinking about her, shivering and shaking, like she was his first crush or something. His text was a reaction, not a plan. Her fingertips were sweaty typing his first message. It wasn't really the stuff of romance.

"If this is Jill, can we talk? I'd love to. Stuart."

He stared at his phone. What if "Jillian" is not the girl? Or if she is, he just read her wrong? And anyhow, why wait on the phone—it could be ages before she, or anyone!, responds...

It wasn't ages. It wasn't even a minute.

"Oh, how lovely that it's you! How did you have my number? Glad that you do! Oh, let's meet, yes. Do you have an idea where? Love, Jill."

Stuart left the house and headed for the garden outside. He was getting dizzy and needed some air. Only here did he manage to type his text back. "Can you meet me tomorrow?" - he thought quickly for a second. It couldn't be here - that just felt too outrageous and Lily would be terrified to meet here anyhow - "...outside the Embankment Station?" He hit send.

It was now seconds only before the answer came back. She must've been watching her phone like a hawk. "Yes, wonderful! What time?"

"11 o'clock?"

"Lovely! I'll be there!"

Stuart did not see Lily's response to this text conversation: wrapping her arms around her body, pressing them against her chest, and sliding down a wall in utter bliss. She even withstood Bryony's scolding. In Stuart's world, it all looked pretty good. The idea that he might've been cheating on his girlfriend while she would be at work and he would go to Zone 1 to meet with her sister—well, it didn't occur him as anything untoward or wrong. All he saw in his mind was her pretty smile and her youthful innocence and him melting under it. He wasn't even aware of the age difference between them. It was now just a matter of meeting her and not letting anything get in his way. No, now that he found her, he's not losing her again—

From the breezy sunlit garden, he heard the front door opening. Stepping back into the house, he saw Jill and her defiant hostile face. "I knew I bloody forgot it!" she barked and picked up her handbag and instantly returned to the car. She forgot to say goodbye, but not to slam the door on her way out.

Friday, 15 July, 2018

Berkhamsted, Herts

Dear Helena,

Oh it was divine! I am still crying tears of emotion. I did not know how beautiful it can be! Oh darling Helena, it was so scandalously delicious! I simply have to tell you everything!

This language! The expressions! Helena, on her own in her studio flat, with a cup of coffee, already needed to wipe her own tears of affection or they'd drop on this handwritten virtually calligraphed letter on its dainty floral stationery. "Oh sweetie—" she whispered, already taken in by the outpouring of the heart of the other girl. She'd been waiting for two days now to receive this letter that was promised her and her own heart jumped for joy. Clearly, the trip to the Chiltern Hills did work. Helena felt she could not possibly read this letter in her jeans and a t-shirt! She owed Adoria this much! She looked into her wardrobe in the corner—the burgundy dress with the cute bow should do it. She felt silly dressing just for reading a letter - there was nobody here! - but somehow, it just felt proper.

She read on... Who ever writes handwritten, calligraphed letters on floral stationery anymore??

The cabin is in a truly beautiful place. When we arrived, the sun was setting and the rays were streaming through the leaves illuminating this beautiful log cabin that had been so graciously given to us. Carl and I held hands - oh I so love the touch of his fingers intertwined with mine! - when we were walking towards it. It's painted beige and it seems to be a part of the wood. The birds tweeted and the forest sang.

But the house itself - oh, He-le-na! It is so cute and romantic! There are sofas with white and pink floral throws on them, delicate muslin curtains in the windows and flowers in vases everywhere! Carl squeezed my hand gently when we entered and we both gasped in astonishment. Whatever I had expected and would've told Carl before of, it was so much more than this!

There were two bedrooms that look like they were made for a prince and princess, too! The wallpaper was so scrumptiously vintage, all in light browns with gorgeous Victorian patterns and the beds were covered with duvets in similar colours and of course there were red roses in vases on the bedside tables—I stood up on my little toes to kiss Carl - he's so much taller than me and it's like in a real romance story, isn't it - and he blushed, he really did, Helena, and them embraced me real close and whispered "I love you" in my ear. Isn't that just the most beautiful thing you can imagine?

Oh, my. Helena sucked air sharply. This read like utopia realised. She had thought such things only happened in books.

There was so much food in the kitchen that we didn't quite know what to do with it! There was still more than an hour left of daylight, so we packed a little picnic basket - there was even a basket! - and took via the woods to the little stream nearby. Can you imagine, the two of us, in the sunset, our arms wrapped around each other, just walking and basking in the light? Oh, what felicity!

Carl is so caring, you know? I feel so safe with him. He took the basket and laid everything in the meadow near the stream and I just watched him. He felt safe, too, I could tell. When we sat down and started our food - salad with strawberries and feta! - he looked so lovingly at me and I thought my heart would literally leap out of my chest. Then he leaned over and kissed me ever so gently. There is no one like Carl in the world - we are made for each other.

Reading this, Helena had no doubt this was true.

Then we just walked along the stream holding hands. No talking about work or anything to do with the outside world. He turned to me, looked me in the eye and then said in his tender, deep voice, "You complete me, Adoria." It was SO romantic and so poignant! I wanted to say something, but only found flowers in my heart and just hugged him and kissed him. And then my tears came - I knew they would. I sobbed and sobbed and he held me close and stroked my hair and kissed my temples.