Dreams of a Hot Day

Few days ago, I experienced a great pain. My heart was biting as a crazy, my ribs were aching, every of my move only added to pain. Happily, I found a good position when I laid on my bed and experienced less suffering. But it wasn't a life I wanted. Especially in summer. Summer vacations, summer holidays, one can't stay at home during this time of a year.

I'm not old, I'm not even 30. But inside I feel like an old grumpy man. I don't like this feeling but I can't overcome it because I really think that I've been missing something all my life.

Spending those few days at bed really made me wish to move, though every time I got up from my bed, pain returned. Painkillers didn't help me much, instead lying for few hours gave me impression that I'm already healthy and ready to move. But every time I went out of my house and walked even for few minutes, my pain returned even stronger, than it was before. Still, I had my wish and while ignoring the pain, I decided to take a ride by bus to a local park on Sunday.

My walkout on Sunday happened as every of my walking before that. My pain rose again, not rapidly, but in small steps. I didn't feel much pain when I got to a bus stop. Sitting in a bus almost relaxed me and I again believed in myself. But I really shouldn't do it. Before I got to a park, my heart was biting too much to bear and I desperately need some sort of a bench.

Sitting at a bench, I begin to watch people around. Well, not all people but women.

Why I love summer is that during this period of the year women don't wear too much clothes. Well, they have enough clothes to leave something for imagination but it's much easier to imagine when you see their bare hand and legs. And nowadays, they (women) don't make much attention to transparency of their shirts. You can easily see their bra and they aren't shy about that. Or when they incline, their jeans (or shorts, or skirts) get low and you can definitely see some part of their buttocks. It's lovely.

Of course, not every woman is a candy for your eyes. Some of them weight too much, others have disgusting make-up. Recently too many girls dye up their nails into bizarre colors. I've never liked that. The most beautiful nail color is its natural color.

And their cloth choice maybe be too hard to understand like why some women wear a sort of slippers with fur. It looks like they've been at home but later decided to go outside. If there are clothes that look sexy, then these clothes are one of the most unsexy. But better let's pay attention to more interesting subjects than discussing one man likes and dislikes.

Sitting on the bench, I'm looking at girls, trying not to gaze but at the same time trying to catch their image if I'm interested in the way they look. I wanted to say "like" but then, I think, "like" isn't the best word to describe my feelings. Because there can have look which is definitely not in my like but at the same time it really catches my attention and makes me to want to see them more.

There she goes. A girl with red hair. Her hair is short, almost boyish but she's not a tomboy. Her clothes are screaming: "Just take me right here". She wears top bra (which is actually more like bra without any shirt), ripped jeans (even denim shorts cover more) and flip-flops. She has good skin, it's quite bright, she's not sunbathed a lot. I close my eyes for a moment. If I were her boyfriend, I would like to hug her and take off her bra with one move. Her breasts aren't big but being topless is so good for her look. I see a number of her freckles and funny small sharp red nipples. She looks like her character is rebellious and then it's interested to tame such girl. No, I'm not a woman hater. When I say "tame", I just mean flirtatious way. Not a man dominated.

Taking off her jeans, there are just very thin pants. They don't cover much her pussy (which is definitely waxed) and her buttocks are clearly seen. When I touch her buttocks, I feel how much elastic they are. I slap her buttocks, she's giggling, take off her pants thus being completely nude, kneel down and begin to unzip my jeans. I have put my hand into her hair. It's short but it's so funny feeling to touch it.

We are in a room with white walls and a big bed. I'm standing at the wall, preparing for her to suck me and then have a cowboy sex. Such girls really like to be on top. They just want to take all up and downs on your dick. They also really like to grab dicks wishing them to be very solid.

Another wave of pain made me to stop my dreaming sequences. Pain mixed with hot summer sun -- what could be worse?

Then I see another woman. She's not alone, there's her husband. How do I know that the man, with whom she holds hand, who is more than a boyfriend? Because they are holding hands and she's deeply pregnant.

They look like they are 25 and wear quite the same way, both are in T-shirts, short denim shorts and flip-flops. Both have good body shapes. But his face doesn't show much of intelligence. I think that he really fucks her in a way of just moving his penis in and out using maximum acceleration. Surely, he can't be creative. But do we need to be creative? He has a girl and I don't. But who knows what that girl really wants? Maybe she really wants just to be bareback and do it like some animals?

Her face also doesn't look much intelligent for me. She has dyed blonde hair, a bit below her shoulders, but I've never connected someone's hair color to intelligence. For me, she just wanted to loo glamorous, having a contrast of her dyed blonde hair and deeply tanned body mixed with polished nails in light pink. And while I still prefer her nails not to be colored, this color isn't so bad choice.

Do you like how pregnant women look like? For me, they are beautiful. Of course, pregnancy could be hard. But if she keeps herself good, then she looks lovely with her so unusually big belly and other parts of her body being fit.

I would like to take photos of her. When I say photos, I mean "nude photos", watching her bare body but without something explicit. What's the real beauty? It's when you can imagine a beautiful girl walking nude. She doesn't have to open her legs, normally girls don't do that. Just imagine how she does casual thing without clothes.

But there are nude couples' photos, of course. What am I thinking? "Abort, abort", I tell myself smiling. This pain and heat really make me sick. That's the joke.

Then I see a mother with a boy. Boy looks like he's five and his mother is around thirty. She was standing behind a bush. That was a cute woman. She had a small nose, big green eyes, a black bob cut hair. She was wearing a baseball cap and a T-shirt. I was interested to see what was below T-shirt because it was covered by a growing bush behind which she was talking something to her boy.

Interesting if she's a single mother. Or maybe she's disappointed in her husband. Mothers can be really good at sex. I see that her breasts are really large. She's one of those women whose breasts grow because of pregnancy. And no, it's not a rule for them to grow because of it.

I would really like to suck her breast, especially nipples. Interesting, how do women react on such thing after breastfeeding? Do some of them have not so good parallels between breastfeeding and grown men who copy at some point the same moves.

Finally, she got from that bush, so now I can clearly see her look. And that made me feel bad. No, she didn't look bad. It's just that her look reminded me of one Girl. The Girl I loved once. The Girl whom I really loved. The only real love in my life. Well, I think that we all have only one real love in our lives. If we have more, then some of them aren't a real love.

That mother had another face and hair, she wasn't so high as my Beloved One. But that mother dressed the same way: sport sandals, jeans, T-shirt and a baseball cap. Simple but sexy look. Or maybe it's just sexy for me because it reminds me of the Girl I've loved?

It was so painful too see such reminding me of Her because it adds heartache to the physical pain of my limbs I really should go to home because soon enough I am going to collapse of my bad conditions. Step by step I rushed to the nearest bus stop, trying not to think of Her. And my physical pain helped me not to think. Funny, how pain may help you to overcome your internal problems.

Now I am in the bus which's taking me right to my home. My heart is almost going to blow up. My eyes are closed, my brain doesn't work, everything is hidden under some fog for me. But sitting helps to overcome some pain. When I begin to see, I clear see Her.

I'm sure it's not real Her, but that girl, who's sitting right in front of me, looks almost like a copy of Her. She wears sport sandals, jeans, a T-shirt, baseball cap. She's the same chestnut straight long hair. She has the same brown eyes. I even looked at her fit, they were little dirty. When you wear sandals, it can happen. But when I looked at feet, especially toes of my Beloved One, that dirt didn't look bad, it made her look innocent. She wasn't innocent but I didn't care about that.

And to give even more, there's a little black kitten in her arms. She brought a black kitten at he home after after our separation. Am I going crazy? Is that really, She or the biggest coincidence?

I'm staring at her. Just for a second because my mind doesn't need more than a second to go back to the past. I've just come to her. She's home alone, wearing just a T-shirt and sweet pants.

I took her shirt. She doesn't look shy, I'm not her first one but for me She is the first one. I remember her breasts. They were big, soft with light big nipples. I just use my hand and put her breast right into my arm. I have a lovely feeling.

Another moment and we are both barefoot and topless. I'm lying on a bed, having my legs put on the floor and she's lying right on me, her back on my stomach. I touch her breast and feel her smiling. I ask her if she likes that and she tells me that she likes.

She really loves to smile. Once, when I grabbed her hands and put them at her back, she asked me, smiling: "Am I now your captive?". Of course, not every of my moves she liked. For instance, when my hand went into her jeans right to Her pussy, She took my hand and turn it in 180 degrees around Her body and thus made me grasp her buttocks.

But I remember that Her pussy was wet and hairy at that short moment. Somehow this private part of Her reminded me of erotic movies from 1970s. She was very natural in her look with good shaped figure like an actress from that period. I still didn't understand why she didn't become a model. With her beauty, she could easily come to a podium.

The best moment flashed in my head. It was when we were laying together in bed. I was on my back and she was lying on the left from me. My left hand was hugging her, while my right hand was over my head, grappling by fingers with her left hand. Her right hand was slowly caring my chest and stomach, drawing circles with her fingers around my nipples.

Then she closed her eyes and began to kiss my lips. I closed my eyes too. Just for a very second, I forget about everything in the Universe. There were only her and me, nothing else matter. When we stopped kissing and opened eyes, she told me the sweetest words: "Your eyes look so happy".

I've skipped my bus stop, trying to spent more time in a bus with that stranger who happens to look just like Her. Now she's going out of a bus and I go after her.

I know that I can't turn back time. I know that all of these may be just my imagination, just my wish to see Her again and these dreams would never come true because I've lost my chances. But this lovely sunny day I just want to be happy again one more time. I want to see Her beauty. I want to remember that time when I get hope. I want to feel happiness of Her. Just for this short moment, it's all what I want.

I'll lose Her once again. She may see me gazing at her and then approach to me and ask not to do that. Or instead of that She'll just go faster and I wouldn't be able to come after Her. Even if She doesn't care about me, my health and my pain would prevent of going further. Anyway, I'll lose Her again. I definitely feel that I can't move much, my body consists only of pain, and I'm absolutely exhausted because of heat weather, but I just want to watch Her a little bit more. Only see her, that's all which's left for me. I want to feel happiness again, I want to hear the sweetest words: "Your eyes look so happy". That would be great to be the last words I hear. Or just watch Her who've told me that and that's to be the last thing I see in my life.