Dubbed a No-hoper

Eventually, she said it was passed her bedtime and he sighed and said it had been lovely chatting to her.

"Where are you heading for the day after tomorrow, when you leave Jenny's side?

Lionel had used the lure for sympathy on Jenny when first coming to London, and believed it might work again.

"Tomorrow I being looking for a dosshouse (cheap lodging accommodation) that doesn't have bed bugs."

"Omigod, I'm not having that. Come and live with me as I have a spare bedroom. Omigod, what am I saying?"

Lionel's inner voice urged him not to allow her to withdraw the offer.

"That's mighty noble of you, Naomi. I accept. May I take you out for dinner tomorrow evening."

"Yes, I mean no; no I mean yes," she spluttered.

He gave her 20 seconds to unlock her stalled brain and said jovially, "Has Jenny mentioned that I might by a good companion for you?"

"No, oh heavens, I mean yes."

She was panicking. She required softness and reassurance.

"We can just co-exist as friends. It doesn't have to be a sexual relationship as well."

"Give me a moment," she said, breathing heavily.

"Lionel, I need a male friend and it's been so long that I almost forget what having sex was like. There, I've said it. And I have you where it would be great for me if you'd come to live with me, because I'm slipping toward becoming a recluse. Even my mother says that's not good."

"Naomi, I'd love to live with you as my impression is that you're such a quality person with a need to be gently drawn out of your rather fragile shell but above all I don't wish to be left without a close female companion."

"Omigod."

"Indeed. Perhaps and angel is looking upon us benevolently?"

She asked in surprise was he Catholic and he said he was not religious, but he'd been exposed to films and books where characters had deep beliefs about angels and miracles.

"It's a miracle to me that I've been talking to you like this so openly," she marvelled.

"Think about that and also what I can do for you."

"What can you do for me."

"Good night, sweet Naomi," he said gently and cut the call.

Lionel sat back, dabbing a sleeve over his forehead.

He thought yeah, mate. That's the longest telephone conversation you're ever had. Your father's declaration, clearly with your mother's support, that you being a no-hopper now lies buried in your past.

Lionel made tea for two and took the mugs into the dining room where Jenny was working on monthly household accounts.

"Ah, tea. What have you been doing?"

"Gently seducing Naomi via my phone."

"I hope you tip-toed and didn't talk to her as you sometimes used to do when asking bluntly, did I want to fuck."

"Horses for courses."

"Oh yeah, you've become a lot smarter since you came to live with me, and a lot smoother as well."

"Agreed, and thanks for your tremendous input in straightening me out. I'm taking her out to dinner tomorrow night and invite you to join us."

"I think not; I'd only be in the way."

"On the contrary, you charming lady. Regard it as a graceful handing over of me because on my final day here, I'm off to live with her."

"Omigod, how did you manage to accomplish that? Ah, I guess you'll claim with skill."

"Correct, with subtle manipulation until she made the offer."

"Omigod and yet I can believe that. Okay, I'll join you two for dinner to symbolically hand your over and I'll leave early to give you opportunity flirt with her lightly. Just don't rush her but you'll have come to that conclusion already."

* * *

Lionel's residency with Naomi took a big hit during the first week of living with her that he'd expected to be semi-permanent.

At first, she appealed, "Go easy on me; I'm quite small down there."

Lionel's exploration 'down there' indicated that Naomi had been a little astray in her assertion. His probing fingers and dimensions to the entrance of her pussy appeared about average, compared with others that he had encountered in recent years.

Then in the second week came the complaint that he was mauling her breasts and she wanted that to cease.

But where was the 'mauling'? All he did was to lick, suck and fake attempting to swallow each of them whole, that he considered was part of normal part of fore-play. He never bit the breasts or chewed the nipples.

Then disaster.

Naomi said she felt they were having too much sex, which usually was when Lionel initiated it, He waited with a rising feeling of dread and she announced she would prefer sex once or at the most twice a week.

He thought fair enough but that frequency was way short of his expectations. That indicated there was little room for negotiation. His erection shrank, as did his interest in Naomi.

He moved out and yes, to a boarding house with the fear of bed bugs and authoritarian control on his habits and movements.

He'd explained to Naomi that something had come up, without explaining what and she hadn't asked. Lionel thought that indicated her interest in him had largely expired, as had his in her. Perhaps she possessed a device that brought her to the level of passion that she obviously enjoyed, screaming, but at the frequency she preferred.

They did kiss sadly went he was leaving, and she wept and he swallowed hard and acknowledged they were just not well-matched as a couple.

Ah, well. An intelligent amount of thoughtfulness may have advanced his thinking beyond the expected joy of licking her sizeable tits. Clearly, he was just an animal when it came to women.

* * *

After a week of having the elderly hawkeyed and skinny landlady eyeing him occasionally and apparently speculatively, initially he thought that might be related to having sex with him, but he then modified that to something more realistic and that would be she was thinking how to screw him for more money for his bed and breakfast accommodation. He was becoming paranoid about bed bugs and had seen a rat in the hallway and, all in all, was ready to move on.

The next day he gave Mrs Roper notice of termination of occupancy at the conclusion of staying the minimum of one month as per the tenancy agreement. That meant not forfeiting the advance payment of two week's rent and giving him time to find a more satisfactory abode.

He followed up a notice on a board in a local café and a Mrs Stewart took him in as one of two boarders with their own bedroom and the rent included breakfast and dinner. He was informed that the other boarder was Miss Arthur, a clerk in her fifties who shuffled along with a walking stick.

"Sorry about your fellow boarder is a little disabled and virtually a recluse," said chatty and matronly Mrs Stewart, a widow. "However, the couples living on each side of us have daughters living at home roughly around your age."

Eh?

"The three young ladies appear promiscuous, but don't they all these days? You could strike it lucky with one or all three of them."

Lionel speculated, together?

Mrs Stewart didn't elaborate.

On Sunday mid-morning, Lionel stood on the back lawn looking up at the sky for something to do when he heard a scuffling sound behind the boundary wooden fence with the O'Neil's. He looked across and saw two fairly plain females in their early twenties.

"Hi," said the younger one. "I'm Cindy."

"She's the flighty one. I'm Cara, the stable one with the brains?"

"Good morning girls, you both appear pleasant neighbours."

"Yeah, but what about you?" Cindy giggled. "You're the youngest boarder that Mrs Stewart has had for yonks, and you are male. Usually she only takes in females."

"You are good-looking," Cara said. "What do you do for a crust?"

"I'm in training to sell prestige used cars for resale."

"That sounds important but I guess it isn't."

"You're absolutely right, Cara."

"Omigod, you remembered my name?"

"Doesn't everyone you are introduced to remember your name?"

"Females do."

Cindy giggled, "What's my name and my bra size?"

Cara snorted and told her sister not to be so common.

Lionel said, "Cindy and 34b."

Cindy stared at him in astonishment.

Mrs O'Neill called, "Girls, I'm off to the Street Market now if you wish to come."

"Bye, um... it's Lionel, Lionel Hilton, Cara."

"Nice name. Are you coming, Cindy?"

"Yes, give me 30 seconds."

She whispered, "How did you know the size of my bra? I didn't notice you starting at my tits."

"I see everything, Cindy. Thanks for being so friendly to me."

Lionel went down to the pub for a pint (beer) and pie (pork pie) at 12.30 and then looked around the local shopping area and strolled around the Street Market that was beginning to wind up for the day.

Mid-afternoon , Lionel was on the back lawn, reading one of Mrs Stewart's Sunday Newspaper when he heard a female behind the rusting sheet-iron boundary fence with the James family, mumble, "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

What the fuck?

He looked over the fence and sucked in heavily. It was a babe, back-on to him but what a body. She had the side of her dress caught in the door of a garden shed that she must have just shut. She was swivelled around stretching, but couldn't quite reach the nob to open door to release herself.

"Hi, do you need help?"

"Yes, please."

He vaulted the low fence and hurried to her, and clasping a hand around her unnecessarily in fake support, he could feel the softness of her breasts against his arm. Reaching back and twisting in the other direction around her, Lionel opened the door to free her.

He also made a direct pitch.

"Gee, you smell beautiful."

She looked at him with naked surprise and said, "What a gallant rescue although by doing that you missed a lolly show as I had just figured I should remove my dress."

"Are you wearing underwear?"

"Should you be asking a lady such a thing?"

"I'd like to know what I have just missed."

She laughed and said wasn't he something and thanked him sweetly.

"I'm Anna Goode."

"I hope the surname is ends with an 'e'."

"It does. My goodness, aren't you coming on to me."

"And why not, Anna? I'm Lionel Hilton..."

"Yes, I know, Mrs Stewart's new boarder who arrived two days ago. My father said a good-looking male jerk had moved in next door and so I must stop walking across from my mini-flat to the house scratching my bum."

"How rude and what a spoiler he could be."

"Both apply to my dad but he's okay. Mum is the boss in our house. My older brother is away living with his girlfriend. When he was here, from his early teens, he kept mum under control. Why did you grab me around the body, presumably knowing that was unnecessary?"

"I haven't touched a female for some weeks and so seized the opportunity for a sneak grab in coming to your assistance."

She laughed and said at least he told the truth.

"I was going across to have afternoon tea with the folk. Come with me."

"I really don't think..."

"Come on, don't be rude turning down my invitation."

"Okay, and thanks. Um, you are great looking and a little bossy. What do you do?"

"I'm twenty-four and teach English to lower form students. I can be firm, but never bossy, okay?"

"Yep, firm but never bossy."

They entered the kitchen and Anna said, "This is my new friend Lionel Hinton. Lionel this is my mother, Muriel Goode and my father, Brett Goode."

"Ah, the guy from next door," Brett said, standing and holding out his hand. "You didn't waste time before hitting on my daughter."

"Brett!" called Mrs Goode sharply,

"Dad!" Anna yelled, looking angry.

"Good one Brett," Lionel laughed, slapping him on the shoulder. "That got them going."

"Sit down, mate," Brett said jovially. "Ladies, coffee for our guest and a slice of apple tart."

It was all smooth sailing from there.

Lionel got the ball rolling by saying, "Your front flower garden will have most of the ladies in the street looking at it enviously, Mrs Goode."

"Mate, you have a good eye; call me Muriel," she laughed and lively conversation was underway.

Forty-five minutes later, when Lionel was leaving via the front entrance, Brett asked, "Are you going to kiss Anna? Her current boyfriend needs replacing."

"Brett," Muriel said weakly.

Lionel appeared paralysed.

Anna kissed him, crisis over. Even more so, when she added sweetly, "Bye, we must go out for a drink soon, very soon."

Delighted, Lionel leaped from the veranda to the path, missing out the three steps, strode five paces, placed a hand on the post of the gate of the picket fence swung himself over on to the street footpath and was off, not looking back.

He felt like yelling to the sky that Anna was a ripening beauty and that, fingers crossed, he might become her new boyfriend, if her father was to be believed

"Oh, Lionel," she called, standing at the gate.

He returned quickly and she gave him a dazzling smile and asked to hand her his phone.

"Same one as mine," she cooed as she punched her contact details into his phonebook.

"Dad's correct, I do need to replacement my bone-lazy boyfriend."

She handed back his phone, leaned forward and Lionel kissed her gently and without haste.

"Omigod," she whispered. "Squeeze a boob so I can make sure I'm not dreaming."

* * *

The days of training to be a salesperson went by quickly and meanwhile Lionel handled Anna slowly, not wishing her to think that he was only interested in pussy.

After two weeks they were regularly dating and he was being permitted to bared a boob and suck the nipple. At the movies on the most recent two visits, Anna pulled his free arm (the other was supporting the hand cupping her left boob) down on to her twat, and he felt her legs open and she pulled her panty leg aside. He performed as he assumed what he was required to do and dipped in a finger and worked her clit with his thumb.

Both times she eventually whispered, "Gorgeous" and soon after that breathed, "Oh fuck" and climaxed over this hand, heaving her mid-body as if she were actually fucking enthusiastically.

Two days before he completed his training when his Vehicle Sales Certificate for which he'd studied and sat an examination paper successful, was to come into effect, they were walking home after spending a couple of hours in a local pub when Anna complained, "When are you going to fuck me?"

"Probably sometime next week. I thought we first ought to get to know one another well. I mean, it will be a big step for us."

Anna scoffed and said, "What big step? It's not as if we intend living together and to even marry."

Lionel didn't answer and Anna turned and looked at his face under street lighting and gasped, "Omigod, you have been thinking about a longer-term relationship and possibly even marriage?"

He nodded and emphasised, "Just tentative thinking."

"And when did you intend to disclose your tentative thinking to me. After our first fuck?"

"Yes."

"Well, being fair, I can't fault that strategy although I feel rather left-out of something that really affects me."

"I understand and all the time at the back of my mind was I shouldn't rush you."

"So, Lionel, that's why there's been no sex, no handful of fingers attempting to penetrate me, no invitation from me to suck you off or to press my little finger into your butt."

"Correct," he wheezed, appearing a little dazed.

"But that's likely to change if that's what I'd like to happen?"

"Absolutely."

"And why have you declined my invitations to visit me into my one-bed conversion of the old garden shed?"

"I fancied it would give the garden shed a romantic place to have our first fuck if that was to happen on the first occasion that I visited you there."

"Omigod, you romantic darling. I cannot be critical of you for harbouring that thought and keeping it from me. Darling, come with me to the old garden shed right now."

"Right now?"

"Yes, my panties are already becoming damp and I feel very romantic as well as horny."

"That's incredibly romantic Anna. Here, feel this."

"Omigod," she gasped. "We should hurry, darling and keep that thought of us living together in the front of your mind. I really like that thought. Being fucked legless almost every day at this stage of my life is No. 1 on my wish list. Just make it happen, and soon, buddy."

They walked quickly, Lionel with an arm around sexy darling, a hand cupping a boob, and thinking he was now far removed from being a no-hoper and his mum would be gobsmacked by Anna from the moment she first clapped her eyes on her. Then family reunification would occur seamlessly. And within days, he'd have money really rolling in as he'd already sold six vehicles under the watchful eye of his tutor who, described him as a natural. Oh boy, happy days!

The End