by chilleywilley
Who says this needs more of an ending? This works for me as written. If you leave your partner for an hour, expect some consequences. Lost phone? Sooo sorrry; was there when I left. Should have checked back sometime.
As the author states, Dwayne and he both got lucky.
I would not waited an hour to leave. I would have been gone after their third dance!!
I don't like very lonb stories, but this one's too short. The story could've been a bit longer & more developed with an actual pre-ending, so we'd know what happened after the dance & overnight.
I love short vignettes of life like this. Note to other reviewers- short stories like this don’t need an ending. 4 stars.
Not a bad start, but it looks like a writing exercise or the first chapter. Short story doesn't mean without an ending.
I loved what he did to her and how he did it. He's not her butler. It's her responsibility to watch over her own valuables. Anyway, she had sex with Dwayne. Have him buy you the phone. Make sure you're worth it. Glad he dumped her as cold as she abandoned him.
I probably would have left her shit with the bartender just to avoid calls like he just got but otherwise I would have done the same. No excuse for that kind of disrespect.
trying to scam something out of her self-inflicted mis-fortune, TK U MLJ LV NV
for love in all the wrong places.
One of the most important skills a young man can develop is clarity when it comes to separating wife material from all the rest of them.
She deserved what she got, nothing more nothing less. She will learn a less after that.
I might not have left her stuff like that, but otherwise i was totally on board. Five.
Jedd Clampett (carvohi)
. . . after reading an anonymous comment you made on Mainefiddlehead's most recent story posted on 7/23/16, and I'm glad I did. I like your writing - clear, concise, with quite a bit of humor. Thanks very much. I've got to read all your old stories now. Great way to spend an intensely hot day when all you can do is stay inside.
Would be interesting to see how his enstallment plan option would have worked out. She could become a stalker and/or Dwayne could be a problem.
Could be a nice morality tale. :o)
Good scenario, unfortunately it kind of brings back memories. News for you, that was back in the early eighties so it sounds like the dating game hasn't changed that much. In my case, we had been dating for a couple months. We went to a club and she ended up going home with someone else. Almost in the same way as this story except they left first. I didn't have a clue until my friends told me they saw her walking out the door with some guy. A few days later when I saw her she said she was sorry if I thought we had that type of a relationship. Hmmm. You know the saying: The more things change the more they stay the same. Thanks for the flash back.
It's lucky he found out early what her standards were. Its almost worth buying her another phone because she would have cost him more down the line. Hey ! The key word being 'almost'.
especially when the tough love will be wasted. TK U MLJ LV NV