Dungeons and Dicks Ch. 01

Marks swore a little at their sudden enforced idleness, but Tess seemed like she was on the verge of a precipice. I frowned. Then she took a breath and looked at me with an expression I know very well as akin to 'I told you so.'

What the fuck. Why was I feeling like I was supposed to regret this?

"Renault," she said, turning to Mark and using Shanora's haughtiest of voices. "You are my hero!"

Then she leaned over and kissed Mark full on the lips. His eyes widened, and he froze.

Tess didn't stop kissing him. I heard a gleep from Anne. But I also heard a quiet, "Ooooh," from Geri that held no anger, only amusement, and maybe something more.

Mark heard it too. As soon as he did, he started kissing my wife back. It did not take but a few seconds before their silly performance morphed into a seriously hot and bothered exploration of each other's mouths. Tongues were definitely in play.

I felt my fists ball up as I sat there dumbfounded while one of my best buds practically tongue-fucked my wife's mouth.

But...

It was role-playing, right? It might be crazy over the top, but that's just role-playing at its best.

Right?

Matt wasn't french kissing Tess--Renault was frenching Shanora. It was a bullshit, but somehow an important, distinction. As long I kept up that fiction we'd been building on the last few weeks, all was well.

Moreover, Tess was clearly hoisting me upon my own petard, and I was damned if I was going to give her the satisfaction of getting upset and proving her right!

Finally, well... I was so fucking hard I couldn't sit straight. It looked so fucking hot, watching her kiss Mark.

The comedy DM in me wanted desperately to mention something about Kobold hat aftertaste now in both their mouths, but I knew if I did, they, good role-players that they are, would have broken off the kiss. I was shocked to realized that I actively did not want that to happen yet. That is a high-level revelation, people.

Honestly, I had never really recovered from how worked up I had gotten when Geri had done her little bikini reveal. Any time I had started to calm down, my eyes had passed over that bikini again, and I was back to low-level horniness. I seriously doubt it was much different with the other guys. And apparently with my wife too.

Tess and Mark were flat-out making out in front of the rest of us now, and we were all leaning in and watching in rapt attention.

Again, it was not Tess and Mark, but Shanora and Renault who were making out. The distinction that this really was still part of the game was becoming easier to internalize. As a group, we had almost from the beginning done little skits, or otherwise just acted things out sometimes. Often it was for the humor of it, sometimes to make a point very clear, and sometimes just to stretch the participant's legs. This was pretty much par for the course in a way... just with a layer of suddenly desperate horniness overlaying everyone. It was just a fun addition to the game.

Right?

I watched as Mark's hand came to rest on Tess's breast, caressing it tentatively at first, but when no protest came from either me or Geri in the peanut gallery, he began to squeeze it gently. Tess just pressed her chest against him at first, still kissing him. But after a moment, she broke free of their kiss. Making no move to dislodge Mark's hand, 'Shanora' exclaimed, "You take liberties, Renault!"

Renault grinned. "I am a thief. I take what I want!"

Several of us laughed at that, including Tess. She kissed him again lightly, then went on. "Well, while I did, of course, kill most of them myself, your timely entrance did indeed save me. These miserable creatures likely have no more than five coppers among them, and you deserve a better reward than that!"

With that, my wife smiled and sank to her knees in front of Mark.

My eyes must have been wide as saucers. I sat there frozen. Tess resolutely did not look my way. This had been my rocket ship, I was indeed to be made to experience the consequences that could come with the ride. She did share a quick glance with Geri as she knelt. Geri simply looked back with an expression of what I'll call horrified glee. One of her hands was idly massaging her breast through the chainmail of her bikini.

It wasn't quite permission, but it wasn't a denial, that was for sure. Mark again froze as Tess ran her hands up the front of his black shorts. He was clearly already hard. She tugged the elastic waistband loose and down to his knees, and his cock bobbed up before her.

Mark may embody one Asian dude stereotype in owning a martial arts dojo, but he quite thoroughly does not comply with a certain other. I have a nice, solid, top-of-the-average six inches when excited. My friend had to be a minimum of seven inches long, with a scimitar-like curve to his shaft. And he was shaven bald down there. I had certainly not seen that wrinkle coming.

"My..." I heard Anne gasp gently.

Tess, no, Shanora, stroked his length for a moment, and he shivered. Mark, not Renault, stared at me, his eyes as wide as mine.

I could have easily stopped this. Everybody in the room probably expected me to, including myself. I could say something--virtually anything, and the spell would break, we'd all laugh, and the evening would continue, just with the sexual overtones ratcheted up about ten notches.

Geri could have stopped it too, of course. But for some reason, it was like everyone looked to me

But I said nothing. I only looked at Mark's face, smiled goofily, and shook my head, not in denial, but in bemused wonder.

Suddenly his expression changed and he whoofed a little. Tess had sucked him in past her lips and was immediately bobbing her head up and down on his shaft. His eyes shifted from mine downward to the top of Tess's head. As if she sensed he was now looking at her, she tilted her head to look back up at him. In the stunned silence of the room, the slurping sound of her efforts seemed loud. She held his gaze until he trembled, then she bent back down to take him deeper.

My wife is really good at giving head, by the way. She already had mad skills when I had first met her, and she had enthusiastically honed her craft in the ensuing years. I am pretty sure that I may've boasted of her expertise in general terms once or twice, in the rare times it was just us guys talking. You know--as one does.

Mark was getting to know the reality of my boast, as I could tell Tess was really giving it her best.

She is quite proud of Shanora. It made sense that Tess would ensure that her character would give great head, too. The sorceress did everything great.

Shanora released Renault's cock from her mouth for a moment, worked her jaw a little, then sucked him back in. I could hear a little gurgling and then a quiet, "Shiiiit..." from Craig as she slowly, inexorably slid every last inch of Renault's seven past her lips and into her throat. You could see her neck distend slightly where it reached. Just a little.

So this is what she looked like, doing her thing. Fucking fuck, my wife was hot.

Pride? I was feeling pride at my wife's sucking on my good friend's dick...

Deep throating wasn't particularly hard or uncomfortable for Tess, though it wasn't really her favorite part of giving head. She usually reserved the feat for Special Occasions, or maybe when I surprised her with something nice. That said, she was really going to town with the experience at the moment.

Saving Shanora's virtue from perverted Kobolds appeared to be a Very Special Occasion...

Still, the display soon ended, and she let what seemed like miles of cock slide free from her mouth. Shanora gasped for air for just a moment, taking hold of Renault's dick as she did so. She looked down at his smooth, hairless balls. I was pretty sure that Tess had never seen a pubeless man in person, and she was clearly curious. With her free hand, she stroked at his balls for a moment, before bending down and kissing them lightly. Then she licked them. Then she sucked one ball into her mouth, slowly working his cock with her hand.

Mark just shuddered.

"This is some mighty fine knife work, to make yourself so smooth, my thief," Shanora said, letting his scrotum free from her lips.

"I... uh... a thief must be good with a knife," stammered Renault. "And I... often have some help," Mark added sheepishly.

"Lucky tavern wench," murmured Shanora, sucking his head into her lips once more. Geri stifled a powerful giggle.

I could tell that Tess was done fooling around and showing off. She actually intended to make Mark come... now. Her hand began to work him hard, her other cupping his balls, tugging gently at them. She only had a couple of inches of him inside her mouth, which I knew from experience and I could see from the way her cheeks moved, meant that her tongue was utterly torturing his head in there.

Mark wobbled unstably. "I'm... Look... I'm... I'm gonna," he warned Tess almost incoherently. She only clamped her lips down harder and squeezed the base of his shaft, bobbing her head swiftly.

And I watched as my buddy shot his wad into my wife's mouth, right in front of me and his own wife...

It seemed like quite the load too. Ought to have been. I knew what he had just been treated to. I was practically coming in my pants in sympathy. Shanora's throat flexed as she swallowed, then swallowed again. Her hand slowed, and Renault's shoulders slumped involuntarily. She sucked audibly on him, running her hands up his shaft to milk him of every drop. With a final lick, she stood and kissed him again with open mouth.

Mark had just learned what I knew from long experience, if you were going to come in Tess's mouth, you were going to taste what you'd provided, soon after.

Heaving a deep breath, standing there with her arms lightly on Mark's shoulders and his softening dick bouncing between them, she asked, in Shanora's voice, "Where are the others?"

"Back in the first chamber," Renault said, jerking upright, "with the rest of the world's supply of Kobolds!"

"We better help," exclaimed Shanora. Tess turned and slid swiftly back into her chair at the table. Mark spazzed for a moment, then pulled up his shorts and slid into his seat beside Geri. She held up her hand to pause everyone and kissed Mark affectionately on the lips, happily, but with no urgency.

Tess, on seeing this, turned and kissed me too, but deeply and with lots of tongue. When she broke off, she and Geri shared a gaze for a moment or two. Then Geri grinned puckishly and asked Tess slyly, "You got it all. What did you think of the taste?"

"Not too bad," I said, "kinda salty." I wiped my lips, still wet from kissing Tess.

Everybody broke up at that.

For the record, yes I could actually still taste Mark in her mouth. After years of marriage to my wife, with her habits, I was very familiar with the taste of cum... though hitherto, always my own. This was different from what the aftermath of my own offerings tasted like, and that was just weird as all fucking hell. But also fucking hot. God damn, but my wife can give head.

"Renault and I burst into the main chamber," declared Tess, getting everyone back on track for me.

"Things are not much changed in here from when Renault left," I said briskly, my responsibilities as DM getting my head back in the game. "Except that there are dead and broken Kobolds stacked and scattered like toys everywhere. The endless supply may be running low, since there are fewer still coming from other corridors."

Craig swiftly moved his, Geri's, and Anne's figurines into a small triangle at the edge of the play space. "The three of our characters are fighting back to back near the entrance where we came in," he swiftly said.

Tess looked at all that wide open space in the rest of the room, filled with most of the Kobolds and smiled thanks at Craig for setting her up like that. "Fire in the hole!" she shouted, raising her arms. Everybody good-naturedly put their hands over their ears.

"Shanora casts a fireball into the open area," I supplied before Tess could even say it. "The overpressure is deafening, but in an instant, you are down to only about ten live Kobolds apiece."

"I decide to stomp my last ten," Anne said, feeling a bit left out of the proceedings, and wanting to add a least a little flair to the story.

"Ooh, let's all do that," chimed in Geri.

"Fine," I said. "You all look like idiots, I mean, like crazed wine makers, as you run around, stomping fleeing Kobolds to paste. Aaaaaand the battle is finished."

"Good, I hate Kobolds," Anne said. "And I'm a little hurt. How come Geri's and my characters didn't get felt up?"

Craig laughed.

"Oh, you both got felt up your fair share," I reassured Anne, mollifying her slightly. "But you both have armor on. It makes it hard for poor little Kobolds."

Anne pointed dramatically at Geri and her 'armor'. "How on Earth does that make it hard?"

I looked at Anne straight in the eye, and in all seriousness said, "If you don't understand how that armor makes things hard, I'm sure Craig can explain it to you."

And with that, the dungeon progressed onward, just like a normal night. No one made a single, fucking, out loud comment about what had just happened. Not one. There was a definite undercurrent though. Jokes were laughed at harder, and people kept getting distracted for no apparent reason. But we were having a ball... with the whole game, I want to stress, not just the crazy highlights.

A little less than an hour later, after several standard monsters and trap sequences, I realized we were coming to my final 'questionable' set piece of the night. I bit my lip inwardly. This room was supposed to be my chance to make Anne uncomfortable and let her have a little flirty fun in turn. But my attempt to give my wife 'a little flirty fun' had ended up with Mark's cock buried in Tess's throat. I found that I still, to my surprise, was okay with what had happened. But if I went with this next scene, after what had happened with Tess, how would Anne react when she realized I was pointing the spotlight in her direction? Would she think I was demanding that she go overboard even a tenth as gloriously as Tess had? Would she resent that?

Would she maybe do that?

How would Craig react? Eh, he had mostly been enjoying the embarrassment of others so far, not feeling much of his own. He would just have to deal. Anne was my concern, but also my target.

I decided that I felt confident that if Anne did not want to be naughty, she knew how to say no. I doubted she'd go full psycho like my wife... But a man can dream. I took a deep breath and turned the page in my notes.

"The corridors change again in character," I said, as they pushed through a door. "The ceilings are higher here, and posses a slight arch. The stone here was also once white, though now stained, and the corridors are much wider now. You realize that this is not, or at least was not, a dungeon at all."

"It's underground and full of monsters and treasure," asked Geri curiously. "What the hell else would it be?"

"This was once a Catacomb," I reply.

"And that is?" one of them asked for all.

I waved the game master's guide idly. "It's a conceit in this game. A catacomb is like a dungeon, except it is filled with good monsters like unicorns and fairies and spokes-leprechauns for cereal companies, and you send parties of evil alignment characters in."

"That sounds fun to try some time," observed Craig.

"But this catacomb must have become overrun by evil," I said.

"Well," intoned Gala. "We must find the source of this evil and dispel it from this holy place!"

Yes, I thought. You go, Anne. This is be the best possible point of the night for you to get all assertive and holy, and you up and get all assertive and holy for me. It could not have happened better if I had planned it... which I had.

"You find yourself in front of huge doors, made of ancient wood. There is a giant tree carved into the surface, along with what once might have been figures of men and maidens all over beneath it. But those images have been defaced badly and they are hard to make out. At least one of the female figures is still undamaged enough to see that she just might have been naked, though."

"Is this supposed to be a comedy dungeon or a sex dungeon?" chirped Anne.

"It is supposed to be what you guys make of it," I said calmly. "Remember, you are the storytellers, I'm just here to set you up."

There was a quiet pause and everybody was probably reflecting on how epic the story had gotten earlier...

While Renault was checking the door for traps, the others examined it further.

"Anne," I said, "Gala realizes that there are religious symbols on the door, arranged to indicate this is probably the entrance to a temple."

"I check closer," she replied. "Can I tell to whom it was dedicated?"

"You are excited to realize that this appears to have been dedicated to a deity in the same pantheon as your own patron, Feyrth, God of the Hunt," I said.

"Who? Which one?" Anne asked, excited.

"You can't tell for sure," I said mysteriously. She flipped me the bird. "Renault finds the door clear of traps. Probably."

"Allow me," Anne said. "First, Gala goes ahead and places a full Blessing on the party. Even if there are no actual monsters inside, we might want it, since we are entering a temple that probably has been desecrated. I want to avoid any curses." I nodded acceptance. "Then I place my hands upon the door, mutter a prayer to Feyrth, and push it open."

"The doors swing wide," I intoned, "revealing a huge chamber with vaulted ceilings. The once alabaster walls are scratched and coated in filth of all natures. The central aisle is wide, and was once flanked on either side by stone furniture that has all been smashed. Looking closely, it doesn't look like the rubble used to be traditional pews, but maybe more like couches or something. At the other end of the room is a raised dais with a huge altar of white marble that is shot through with dark veins. It has resisted much of the filth surrounding it, but still seems dull and worn, even sickly. You can only see it from this far away due to a weak beam of light filtering down from above. Seems like there was once a shaft from the surface that would have been cut to bring sunlight down onto the altar. Now, it is clearly clogged and blocked, and what light makes it through is sickly and filtered with nasty green."

"Oh, this is horrible," cried Anne. "Gala rushes toward the altar to examine it."

"Look out," Craig grumbled, but I shrugged and told her that she reached the altar, well in front of the party.

"Can she now tell who the god it is dedicated to is?" Anne asked.

"Her knowledge is mostly concentrated on her own god, of course," I said, "but she should be able to tell. The altar seems to have retained enough of a residual trickle of power to resist most of the destruction in here, however long ago it happened. You check and see that the symbols are clearly of Feyrth's sister and wife, Greya, the Goddess of Love."

Tess snorted at that.

"Wait, sister and wife?" Geri asked. "Ewww."

"The gods are always doing their siblings," Anne said off-handedly. "Who know what crazy shit they get up to? The Celestial Sphere is like backwoods Mississippi. We mortals just have to roll with it." She pondered for a moment, then grinned. She stood up from her chair, and turned to my pool table. "Gala approaches the altar and kneels to pray," she said, kneeling at the end of the pool table. Since she was wearing those shorts, this afforded us all a very nice view of her round, extremely fit ass. The denim rose up nicely in this position and revealed a bare crescent at the bottom of her hard curves. Without looking back at us, she asked me, "What does the altar look like?"