Dungeons and Dicks Ch. 01

Geri cracked a smile. "Besides, I haven't had this armor for more than a minute. Give me some time to design it in my head, then come up with a really good way to describe it."

Well now, that had been... way more than I had dreamed. Geri was my new hero... and my dick's new obsession. We had also consumed way more time than I had thought that this little vignette would.

I looked at my watch. My planned last scene would push us long past our desired stopping point.

And I was in no mood at that moment to go late into the night playing D&D. I looked at Tess, and she seemed to have the same thoughts I was experiencing.

"On that high note," I declared, "I'd say we're done for this week. Let's cut things here."

We usually hung around and rehashed shit once we 'put down the dice' for the night, but Craig and Anne, and Tess and I were all uniformly ready to head out. Geri and Mark were similarly ready to see us go. "I'll wash the serving pieces you brought tonight, guys," Geri uncharacteristically volunteered. "You can retrieve them next week."

Tess and I were in our car and heading home in minutes. Two turns away from their house, Tess turned to me. "I suppose you are satisfied," she growled at me.

I laughed. "Fuck yeah. I loved it."

She let out a soft harumph and crossed her arms.

"You loved it too," I smirked.

"I was mortified!"

"Uh huh. But you loved it. You egged it on! You loved Geri's act too. And she loved performing it."

"She was even more mortified. She will never forgive you."

"Bullshit."

She harrumphed again. After that, we were uncharacteristically quiet on the way home, but I was tingling in anticipation...

Despite my desire to get home, I drove carefully all the way there. I had such a hard-on, if we got into an accident, I knew the seatbelt would snap my dick in two.

I was going to fuck the shit out of my wife when we got home... if, from the look on her face, she didn't fuck the shit out of me first.

*

The next week, the rotation had us playing at our house. That always a tiny bit of a pain in the ass for me, as Tess uses the opportunity to dragoon me into cleaning all sorts of shit that our guests are never going to see, 'just in case.'

The group text chain that we use to take care of logistics was unusually quiet that week, with only a brief flurry of excitement when Tess asked for menu coordination and Anne said she was bringing her brisket. That brisket is always so damned good...

But I admit, I spent more than one day leading up to game night anticipating the evening with an organ other than my stomach. Tess had mostly let the whole sexiness matter lie, as had I, once we had raced each other to bed and fucked each other senseless upon arriving home the prior week. But as we were setting up for game night that afternoon, she turned to me. "You've been on your computer a lot this week. Working on tonight?"

"Yeah," I said casually, "I've been rejiggering different things here and there. Last minute ideas. You know how I get sometimes." I worked hard to keep the evasiveness out of my voice as I arranged chairs.

"Uh huh," Tess said in desert dry amusement. "I do. So you are enjoying how this dungeon has been going?"

My sheepishness could not be kept inaudible. "Yeah... Yes I am," I said, growing a pair and sounding assertive by the end. I looked at her archly for a moment before putting my eyes back on the furniture. "Don't keep trying to pretend that you aren't too."

Tess let herself giggle for a moment. "Maybe just a little bit," she admitted, holding up thumb and forefinger very close together. We worked in silence for a bit, then she turned and said earnestly. "But you do need to show some restraint. I mean, you left last week's game with Geri set up to have to embarrass herself all over again, and probably right off the bat."

"Hey! It's not my fault that she chose to extend her moment in the spotlight with a cliffhanger! That's on her."

Tess paused at that. "She did kind, didn't she? Do you think she actually meant to?"

"I don't know," I said honestly. "At first, I thought that she was just looking for an out. But over the week, I've started to wonder if she hadn't actually meant to lead everybody on..."

"I wonder..." Tess said, "Who did she mean to tease more, Mark or Craig?"

"Well, she's doing a helluva job teasing me!" I joked.

That earned me a cushion to the head. "Still, once she's paid the price for making you neanderthals drool so much, I do think you ought to lay off her for a bit," she said compassionately.

"Of course! I'm not cruel," I said defensively. Then I added softly, "Besides, she's not the only player, you know..."

Tess looked at me... hard. "I already made a fool of myself in your little game with my cleavage description. You aren't getting another one of those!"

"And thank you for that, by the way. Besides how hot you were all on your own, you really inspired Geri to reach great heights."

"You're welcome... Wait, what do you mean?"

"Didn't you see her while you were going overboard with waving your boobs around?" I asked, amused.

"I wasn't watching her."

"Well, let me tell you, she was on a high simmer watching you steal her spotlight there for a while."

"Really? That little minx," Tess preened.

"Wait," I said, "you say you weren't paying attention to her. I know you didn't even look my way once. Who were you looking at while you were showing off?"

Tess slumped down on our couch, crossing her arms irritably. I like when she does that because it naturally lifts and displays her boobs. It dawned on me suddenly, wrapped up in my own plots for the dungeon that night, I had missed the fact that Tess's wardrobe choice for this week was another wrap-around blouse, but unlike last week's, this one really did rock some nice actual cleavage, not just a suggestion of it. It wasn't a very deeply open V, but with Tess, it didn't need to be.

"Just watch yourself," she said tartly. "You are going to push someone too far."

"Come on!" I scoffed affectionately. "What's 'too far'? We're role playing. Everyone can do what they want, and not do what they don't."

"Push too hard, and somebody's going to find a way to embarrass you back. That's all I'm saying," Tess said, but with no real worry in her voice, only humorously dire warning. "Just, watch yourself," she said again, bouncing up from the couch to check her veggies in the oven.

"Nah," I retorted in a drawl. "I've got better thing to watch," I said, as my eyes followed her ass into the kitchen.

I turned and racked the balls on my white regulation-sized pool table, adjusting them carefully on the red felt in the forlorn hope somebody in our group would decide to actually play with me. I have friends who do like playing pool, but these are not those friends.

The bell rang a few minutes early and I opened it to see Anne and Craig. Craig was laden down and struggling with Anne's brisket and several containers of accoutrements. Anne demurely held a thin folder with their character sheets and a bag of dice in one hand. She cooked. Craig carted. I for one was happy with that arrangement. I didn't not care about Craig's level of satisfaction.

After placing their food on the sideboard, Craig and I grabbed two beers and got into it about the Cubbies' needs for the rest of the season. I wanted them to go for a starting pitcher to make a run possible this year. Craig, the dirty quitter, wanted to unload a couple of impending free agents and reload. Sometimes Craig sucks.

Anne and Tess surprised us both by going for glasses of rosé. Usually everybody drinks beer during D&D. I guess Anne's next level food inspired them to class things up a bit. The two of them were fun to look at as Craig and I talked. Anne had also chosen a little more, um, tasty clothing than usual. Her usual cargo shorts were replaced with a tight pair of cut-off jeans, just long enough to cover the bottom curves of her ass. Barely. Up top, she sported a plaid long-sleeved shirt, cuffs rolled up to the elbow, shirt-tails untucked and tied together low on her belly, leaving a tragically limited amount of bare, toned stomach to see. She left just enough buttons unfastened to make it interesting without making it blatant. Our two wives had both decided to play the cleavage game.

At some point in our conversation, we caught each other looking, and Craig and I clicked our beers together. Our wives were well and truly blessed. And so were we. No harm in appreciating each other's good fortune.

It was fifteen minutes after the usual start time, and Mark and Geri were still not yet in evidence. We all pretended not to notice, but we were all clearly beginning to get the niggling feeling that they might not show up.

Had Geri chickened out? Had Mark gotten weird?

They wouldn't ghost us, though, would they? Not without calling?

The doorbell brought big smiles to us all, and Craig bounded over to let them in. Mark entered first, carrying a big wicker basket that smelled delicious. Despite the still cool weather, he was wearing his usual workout shorts, along with a Superman logo blue shirt.

Behind him, Geri entered. She was... she was wearing a pink, fluffy, footied onesie, with a hood and rabbit ears. She looked ridiculous. Cute, but ridiculous. Nobody could help but laugh.

"What the hell is that?" Anne asked, the first to catch her breath. "It's almost April. You must be dying from the heat!"

"It actually breathes surprisingly well," Geri replied good-naturedly. Then she glowered at Mark. "And since someone I know forgot to use detergent when he did the laundry this morning, I had limited options to choose from."

Mark hung his head extravagantly. Geri patted him reassuringly. "It's okay, honey. I told you this would at least get a laugh."

"That it did," I chuckled. "But you layabout laundry losers have us running late. Let's play."

We settled down around the table. I had already set up their miniatures in the same layout as the prior week, with Geri's Frenoria still in the middle... just a reminder of unfinished business. The little figurine was still wearing a ranger's cloak and armor, alas. I'd have to invest in a Red Sonja figure or something. I was not letting Geri replace that chainmail bikini anytime soon!

"Okay. So..." I began.

Craig instantly interrupted me. "Sir Tyrian examines Frenoria carefully in her new armor," he said, firmly cutting to the chase before there could be any chance of things getting side-tracked.

"Really? You couldn't give her five minutes to get into the swing?" Anne asked, no heat in her scolding... and absolutely no surprise. I just looked at Geri for her reaction.

She sat in her chair, arms on the table, fingers drumming as she squeezed her lips together in a grimace at Craig.

"You did kind of cliff-hanger us last week with a promise of a fleshed-out description." To my surprise, that came from Tess.

Geri looked at her. "Et tu, Bruté?" She drummed her fingers one more time. "Fine. Have it your way, you pervs." She pushed herself to her feet, stepped away from the table and turned to us.

I really found that I hated that bunny suit. I was still looking forward to whatever she had cooked up as a description, and she clearly had given it some thought, but hearing her words would not be the same with her standing there in that shapeless, furry suit, instead of a tight, braless teeshirt. Geri had clearly worn the damned bunny suit to deny me... us a view. I had been so ready for some more spectacular pokies...

"They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so I composed a thousand words about my new chainmail bikini," Geri said casually, then in a smooth motion, unzipped the bunny onesie, and let it fall to the floor.

She was wearing a fucking chainmail bikini. A real chainmail bikini. Made from real chainmail.

And it fit her so very... wow.

Unlike her description of Frenoria the prior week, Geri is almost delicately slender. At middling height for a woman, she is actually about even with her diminutive whipcord of a husband. Lithe as she is, she has more than sufficient curves in the chest and hips to hang that little metal confection on most fetchingly. The chainmail was a very fine mesh, though it was steel gray, not sparkling like the Mithril I had described. Our imaginations would have to supply the sparkle. My imagination was supplying quite a lot at that moment. Not that it needed to. The design of the garment was not... modest.

The top was two triangles that wrapped up into a narrow band that caressed the back of her neck. At the bottom, it tucked up under and vaguely supported her breasts, attaching to a silver cord that ran around and tied across her back. The weight of the metal obviously pressed down even Geri's pert, bouncy tits, but the substantial nature of the mail itself made them look actually a little bigger.

An inch-wide band of chainmail draped over and around her flaring hips, with two long triangles hanging down in front and back, the tips dangling almost halfway to her knees. I desperately wanted to know whether the bottom was just a loincloth, of if there were panties built in underneath. And if there were, were the panties chainmail too? My imagination was competing with itself to supply both images, as I found that I could not determine which option I was hoping for. In either case, it was crystal clear that no other underwear was present.

Geri waved a hand out to her side, then placed both hands on her hips, cocking a knee in a game show hostess pose, a broad grin on her face. We'd been had.

"Holy shit," breathed Anne.

"Wow," Tess said softly.

The three of us dudes remain dumbstruck. Even Mark. He had obviously seen it before, but that was hardly damening his excitement. I was betting that they had been late because he'd been trying, and possibly succeeding, in taking it off her before they left. Now, seeing Geri in it, seeing her stripping herself down to only it right in front of the rest of us, clearly had him revved up wildly.

Geri slowly spun around.

Trust Craig to find his voice first, the horndog. He voiced my unspoken question. "Is it a loin cloth, or is there more protection underneath? Sir Tyrian is curious about the martial implications, of course," he added hastily, as if he caught how pervy he sounded at the last moment. His attempt at covering did nothing to reduce the pervy-ness, of course.

I think Anne wanted to smack him, but she also seemed to want to know the answer as much as he and I did.

Geri chuckled, posed even harder, them reached down and briefly brushed the front triangle far enough aside for all of us to see the narrow expanse of chainmail covering the front of her crotch underneath.

When she reached down, I had honestly believed for a second that there wouldn't be anything underneath, and let myself hope I was about to actually see Geri's pussy. My mind was racing fast enough to wonder if, as with her ranger Frenoria, the carpet matched the drapes. After her quick flash of the coverage underneath, she let it fall back into place.

"The back?" Anne asked almost clinically.

Geri almost giggled, and, now without the slightest hesitation or reluctance, turned her really quite amazingly tight little backside toward Anne, and flipped the triangle aside. I saw Craig's eyebrows shoot up. After a moment, Geri generously turned back toward Tess (and therefore me) and I beheld the thinnest strand of chainmail, barely three links wide, running down the back, disappearing in-between her cheeks. It was a thong!

Before Geri could so much as drop the back panel of the loincloth back into place, she was being peppered with technical questions by Anne and Tess alike.

Yes, it was real metal.

No, it was not lined, but the metal was machined perfectly smooth, so nothing poked or scratched.

"Even down below?" Tess asked as a follow-up.

"Uh, no," said Geri. "There is a tiny patch of soft gray fabric instead of mail down in the crotch. I really don't think you want metal chain rubbing up against your clit all the..." She stopped and blushed. A pause followed that glorious moment of over-sharing, then the questions resumed

The thing had been ordered through Etsy.

Yes, she intended to wear it the rest of the night... and possibly every night from now on.

"So we are a cosplay campaign now," groaned Anne.

"Swell," Tess agreed sarcastically.

But all three women were exchanging looks over the table.

Geri slid gracefully back into her chair. "Can we get going now?"

I am proud to say that I regained my mental facilities first after all that, at least among the guys. I have responsibilities as DM, after all. I led them through the next encounter, which had supposed to have been the prior week's finale. The senile sphinx that could not remember it own riddles was a hit, and we somehow got into a more normal routine for gaming, despite Geri sitting there looking... well...

Look, I'd seen her in regular bikinis before. At least one of those had possibly been even more revealing. As a group, we don't only play D&D together. We are not total nerds. Water parks are one of the occasional alternative Saturday activities we go for in the high summer. Bowling, believe it or not, has always been a favorite in the winters.

I might be 31, and a reasonably normal adult, but I am also a life-long, male, fantasy/RPG nerd, and I was confronted with a seriously hot babe in fucking chainmail bikini armor. Teenaged wet dreams that come to life are extremely hard to work your way beyond mentally, no matter how old you are.

The end result was that I was constantly hovering at a low to medium level of horny, right from the start of the evening, just from Geri sitting there, being spectacular.

My new phase of the dungeon was separated from the older part by a barrier that they had to work hard to penetrate. Beyond were more subterranean passageways. The stone work was curiously clean-cut, though badly stained.

I had several early rooms planned that I now decided to set aside for later, if at all. Simply, I felt like I needed to get to the first of the new opportunities for embarrassment I had cooked up during the week. I had been staring too much at Geri, I felt, and wanted to focus things, especially my own gaze, elsewhere. Guilt and horniness make a potent cocktail.

Not that the timing mattered, Tess was going to kill me for what was coming next, whenever it happened.

A trapped door led to a large room with multiple exits. They fucked up getting through it, to Anne's character Gala's pained displeasure. She was not amused as I described the blooming magic explosion leaving her cleric Gala looking similar to Yosemite Sam after Bugs blocked the barrel of his gun with a finger.

"The chamber is particularly foul," I described, "but the walls were probably once white, and the floor likely has some kind of seemingly beautiful geometric tile pattern under all the filth. The noise of your passage through the door and Gala's bitching fades into absolute silence--silence that you all sense probably just fell in response to your arrival."

"Renault uses his Burglar's Perception to seek threats," Mark snapped.

"Something's out there. It's quiet," I said, rolling some dice as if that meant anything, "and whatever is there is in the darkness is unbelievably numerous."

"Gala prepares to cast a blessing on the party," Anne said. The spell needed a round of combat time to cast. She could still decide to discard instead of cast it later at low cost, if she decided she didn't need to actually invoke it, but from my body language, she probably thought they were going to need it.

"Suddenly, you all hear a rushing and a high-pitched babble of voices and cries all around," I said with an evil smile, "and suddenly hordes burst forth from every entrance of the room, save the one you just came through, which is suddenly impassable backwards due to a deadfall."