Dying Wish Ch. 03

"Like what?' I asked.

"It started simply enough. I knew David never approved of some of the lifestyle choices I made and, frankly, I've been looking to turn over a new leaf too, and so I unburdened my soul to him. Every man and woman I've slept with, every wild sex party I've been to, and everything in between... I laid it out all on the table for David's handsome eyes to see. He was so consoling and gentle, even loving about it, and the more I thought about my life the more realized that all I wanted now was to be with the right man for the years I have left. And then I knew that man was already with me, staring back intently as I spoke."

"But for you to want David of all people," I asked. "Literally anyone else would be a better choice."

"And I would say literally anyone else would be a worse choice," Ana countered back with a chuckle. "There's no man I could love more than David and vice versa, just as I'm sure you'd say about James. I actually see a lot of parallels between our situations even if you choose not to."

"Let's keep the discussion on you and David, please," I said uneasily.

"I'm sorry, Paula. It's an uncomfortable subject, as it should be. For most mothers and sons it probably a huge mistake, you were right to more or less say so before. But I also believe there are exceptions like me and David and, if you're ever willing to open your eyes, you and James as well."

"I don't know why you keep mentioning my son in this," I huffed back. "He's nothing like David anyway. Your son is twenty-five and, from what you told me, been in a number of relationships already. Mine is barely eighteen, and I'm pretty sure a virgin at that."

"And as good looking as his mom ever was," Ana added with a small chuckle. "I've spoken to James a few times, seen those beautiful eyes of his when they weren't trying to ogle my tits, and even flirted with him a little. He's a lot more like you than he is his father. And he seemed to be doing more than an adequate job filling those shorts he was wearing that day. So what if he's a virgin? All that means is he needs a woman with an experienced, confident hand, one that can make him feel at ease and show him how to do it right. Anyone you know that fits the bill, Paula?"

"Ana..." I said, becoming really irritated now.

"I'm sorry, Paula. Fine, back to me and David, although if I've made any case at all for you and James please don't hold it inside the way I tried to do with my son. Alright, back to David. I had just poured out my soul to him, and was practically in tears as he took me into his arms to console me. I felt the soothing love passing back and forth between us, and I knew it wasn't just the love of a mother and son, but a man and a woman. I had bared my soul to him, confessed all my sins. The last words I had spoken to him had been lamenting how I wished I could have had the right man to make an honest woman of me."

"I looked up at David from our embrace, surprised at how his lips were only inches away from mine. He knew I was talking about him, I could see it in his eyes. I wanted him so badly to kiss me, to take me however he pleased. My entire body, mind and soul were ready for him to make that honest woman of me in whatever fashion he desired. I looked into David's eyes again, doing everything I could to silently convey to him that I was his woman and that I desperately needed him to consummate that bond between us now. But it never happened. I thought about kissing David instead, but instantly recoiled at my sudden lack of confidence. I'd never been this bashful with anyone else before, but this was David, my David, and I couldn't proceed with anything that would change our relationship so radically unless I was certain that he wanted it too."

"Just when I felt certain that he'd take the initiative and kiss me he pulled away. I don't know what caused it - fear, a change of heart... all I knew was that I was devastated. I ended up alone in my bedroom, balling my eyes out as I lamented what could have been. I know it sounds silly, like some teenager crying over being rejected, but the feelings cut much deeper than that. If you've ever wished your love for your son could grow into something more the way I have with David then you'd know exactly what I was going through. He was the perfect lover for me, and every part of my mind, body, and soul desperately wanted him."

"I can't get over the way you're talking about all of this, Ana. Its incest... doesn't that matter at all to you? And then to keep mentioning James and me as well... it's all so wrong."

"You've been married for what, almost twenty years, Paula? And I was married for twenty-seven. Both of us loved our husbands in our own way, but both of us have also known that something in those relationships was seriously lacking. I dealt with it my way, and you've dealt with it with yours, but we both have a lot in common here. That's why I can understand you not wanting to have an affair, but I also think if the opportunity ever arose of having one with James then you'd be crazy to turn it down."

"Yeah, letting a stranger get into my pants, terrible idea... letting my son do it, perfectly okay," I said mockingly back. "I think you've finally lost your mind, Ana."

"Actually, I think it's terribly romantic. You've cock blocked all these other men with ease over the years but if James wanted you badly enough then you'd be unable to resist him. James is not some random guy, he's the man in this world that you love the most. There's something really beautiful knowing that your love is so strong that wouldn't deny him anything, including your bed, if his passions demanded it from you."

"Ana, please," I countered, "James is barely eighteen..."

"If you mean he's too innocent for something like that, then you need a little education on the mind of the eighteen year old male," Ana laughed back. "Trust me, he's a little horn dog with sex on his mind 24/7. I talked to him for fifteen minutes with the tiniest bit of flirting and could already tell how much he was dying to fuck me. And if you mean he's too innocent to be any good in bed, then that's where you come in. I'm sure you'd be the good mama and teach James everything he needs to know."

Luckily, Ana went back to talking about her David, as I'd been genuinely off put with the way she'd spoken about the two of us, but deep inside I knew much of it had struck a chord with me, especially with regards to my feelings of emptiness when it came to my relationship with your dad. Everything we had, the money, the houses, and cars... of course I appreciate everything Bryan did to get them, but none of it really matters if you aren't being fulfilled emotionally.

So yeah, I could have been like these other rich wives and fucked my tennis instructor behind my husband's back- he was nice and handsome with a more than healthy bulge in his shorts and had already made a few attempts to get inside my pants, but that's not the life I wanted. So the more I thought of Ana's crazy solution, the less insane it sounded. And listening Ana talk about David, even sharing her sexual fantasies about him... it was hard not to get caught up in all the passion, the love, the unadulterated lust. It felt weird, and I knew it was wrong, but there was no doubt that it excited me too.

In the days that followed, Ana kept me up to date with what was happening with her and David. It sounded more and more like she was right and that David had gotten cold feet the other day rather than rejected her for other reasons, and she was trying to figure out a way to solve the problem.

"If you're so sure David feels the same way about you, then why not take the initiative?" I asked. "It's not like you to hold back like this anyway."

"You mean I should barge into him room and demand that he fuck me?" Ana chuckled back. "Maybe with someone else I would, but this is my David. He's sweet, and soft, and sensitive... the perfect lover I need in my life right now. Not that I think he's above throwing me on the ground and fucking me senseless too, which would be more than fine by me, but I'd rather let him make that call. It's our first time, Paula. I need to be careful about this, make sure it all feels right and good and natural, for both of us."

"So, do you have any ideas then?" I asked.

"I've been suggesting to David that we do something together, you know, get out of the house, and the other day he asked if I wanted to go this movie I've wanted to see for some time now. Maybe that will help set the stage a little, especially if it has a 'date' feel to it."

A few days passed and Ana spent much of it talking about her big "date" with David. Her excitement was real, and she went all out for it, getting her nails and hair done for the event. I helped her pick out an outfit to wear, and even spent an afternoon with her at a lingerie shop helping her choose something to wear for later on in the evening. The coral red bra and panty set she bought featured a remarkably beautiful embroidery pattern and the deep V neck showed off Ana's amazing boobs perfectly.

As for me, as much as I first tried to deny it my enthusiasm over the big day was also rapidly growing as the date drew nearer. I was still very reluctant to admit that I had similar feelings towards you, but had come to terms that Ana's relationship with David was something I found both intriguing and exciting even if hadn't totally accepted it from a moral point of view. On the big day I went to visit Ana one last time.

"Ana," I said sheepishly. I knew Ana would be the last one to judge me, but I still felt more than a little uncomfortable talking about what I was feeling inside when it came to this topic. "I... well with everything going on with you and David I felt the urge to put some of those feelings to paper and, well.... here, I made these for you."

I handed Ana a couple of drawings that I'd frantically put together in the last couple of days. "Frantic," in the sense that there was a gauntlet of emotions I'd experienced while creating them including sexual frustration, arousal, love, and guilt. In terms of quality, however, they were among the best drawings I've ever done, with bright colors and startling realism.

"Wow, this is amazing," Ana cooed over the first drawing.

It was an image of her and David standing side by side, holding hands in a rather basic pose, peaking slightly at one another with loving smiles. The big reveal, of course, was that they were both in the nude. David had such a stout, masculine physique and I made sure to angle them both to highlight that contrast between him and Ana's busty, ultra-feminine form, adding an element of eroticism to what I felt was a very pleasing sight.

I titled it, "Our Secret Garden," inspired by the book of similar name, and drew various flowers and other vegetation curled around the edges. There was a sweet innocence and beauty to it that almost brought me to tears, with the erotic elements only shown as undertones one needed to pay close attention before being revealed. It summed up the way Ana had talked about her and David, as well as me and you, a representation of mothers and sons everywhere who not only shared a beautiful love for one another but a secret attraction and lust. As much as I loved the picture with all its subtleties, something inside me knew it needed a follow-up, and so I drew a second one, almost identical to the first, except in this drawing David was sporting a full erection that Ana had circled her fingers around as if she were slowly masturbating him.

"Oh my god, Paula, I love this one so much," Ana gushed when she saw it. "Despite my suspicions about you and I being alike on this subject I was still so scared to bring it up with you, but now I know that you understand, that you feel the same way I do. Do you have a title for it?"

"No, it's a basically a part two of the first one," I replied.

"How about, 'Passions Unleashed?'" she offered.

"It's a gift, so you can call it whatever you like. There is one final drawing however..."

The final drawing had given me the most pause to create, but if there was anyone I could show it to it was Ana. In it, she was lying on her back with her legs pointing straight up, with the far, right leg drooped over David's shoulder and the left leg being firmly held up by him at the ankle. David lay between Ana's legs, his groin pressed up against the bottom of her thighs and with a wild look of desire in his eyes as rode her.

"Are you sure that's spelt right?" Ana asked with a sly wink. "I think that's supposed to be 'c' and then 'u?'"

The caption underneath said, "Mother and Son coming together at last."

"Well it's supposed to be a double entendre," I started before realizing that Ana was teasing me. We both laughed.

"I'm so glad we can talk about this, Paula. You don't know how good it makes me feel to know that I'm not alone. I love this drawing, the raw passion, the pure lust. I admire your skills, even envy them. And when you're ready, I hope you'll use them to create the drawings you really wanted to."

"What, I don't understand?" I asked.

"You and James. As much as I'd like to think that David and I could inspire you this much, in the end I know that we're merely a poor substation of what really drives you."

"What?" I asked, still a little in shock.

"When you're ready to admit it, the lovers in your drawings will be you and James. You can't tell me you could draw images like this without wanting to do the same with you and James. Whenever you're ready to talk about it, I'll be here for you Paula. Remember, you're among friends. But tonight I've got my own seeds to sow, as the saying goes."

Ana put her hand over mine and gently squeezed it, and while I was still unable to respond I knew she right about me having crossed a line with you emotionally that I wasn't going to be able to undo. It would take a while for me to work through the chaotic feelings I was going through, but she had been right about one thing. With all the men trying to seduce me that I had rebuffed over the years, I would not have had the willpower to deny you. Moreover, I didn't want to deny you.

**

"Wow, that's quite the story," I said, bringing Mom back to the present. It did answer a lot of my questions, although it was still bewildering to me that Ana could have had such a strong influence on Mom that she could want to have an incestuous relationship with me.

I certainly felt for her; even with the hints I'd been recently getting from her I still had no idea how unsatisfied Mom had felt in her marriage, and that it was only her sense of duty to Dad and myself that had kept her from pursuing other relationships, sexual or otherwise. And as for her shifting her attention towards me? She wanted more than just sex; he wanted love and companionship, something which she and I already shared unconditionally. Undeniably, however, there was a sexual angle to her desires as well. Mom could feel all that she was feeling without wanting to go to bed with me. Clearly, part of her found incest exciting, or at least mother-son incest, and not just in some abstract, fictional sense; otherwise she wouldn't have listened so intently to Ana's desires to bed her own son. I wasn't going to hold that against Mom though, not only because I promised her I wouldn't judge but because I obviously had similar tastes.

Mom had her phone out while I'd taken these last few moments contemplating everything she had told me, and I asked her what she was doing.

"The night of Ana's date with David... she and I texted each other several times, and I still have them on my phone. I was going to let you read them."

"Mom, that's really not necessary..." I uncomfortably began.

"It is necessary, James. What did you call me the other day? 'An incest-loving slut?'"

"I'm sorry, Mom, I shouldn't have talked to you that way..."

"No, you were right to say it, because it's the truth. I am that, and a whole lot more. I can't make up for that, other than to promise you that I won't keep any secrets from you the way I did with Bryan. You demanded total honesty from me, and that's what you're going to have. From my phone to my artwork to the dildos in my nightstand, anything that's mine is yours whenever you want them."

I wasn't looking for the kind of relationship where I was going to be spying on my significant other, but I didn't think that was the spirit of what Mom was getting at either. She'd violated my trust in her, as well as Dad's, and she knew how much it had hurt me. This was her way of trying to get a clean slate again.

"Okay, I'll take a look," I said taking the phone from Mom's hand and settling back to lie down again. "Why do you still have these? I mean, they're six years old."

"I guess they have a sentimental value to me. Ana had wanted David so much to be her lover that it pained her inside, and this was the night it finally happened. Reading them reminded me how excited she was feeling that night, and how excited I was for her too. It's been a long time since I looked at them, but I used to really get turned on reading them. They're more of a memento now than anything else."

Ana: Outfit looks great Paula, thx for your help. D loved it too, his compliments didn't sound like a son talking to his mom at all. Feel so dolled up tonight with hair and nails, but horny too. Like a new bride waiting to get fucked. Lol

Paula: Wow, so excited for you, Ana. Hope all goes well.

Ana: At the movies with D now. He looks so handsome too. Movie we're seeing is rom-com, but rated R. Should be spicy!

Ana: Didn't expect to have nudity/ sex in the movie, but was fun to see D's face when I put my head on his shoulder during a particularly sexy scene. Even better when he put his arm around me too.

Aba: Hot stuff on screen; for a moment thought D would kiss me during one scene but didn't. That's okay, still have rest of night for that. Hope you're still with me Paula.

Paula: Still here. All alone tonight with nothing else to do. Trust me, hanging on your every word here, girl. Lol

Ana: Went to a club for a nightcap and a little dancing. God, D is so hot. I'm so horny right now I'd suck his dick on the dance floor if he asked me to. Could feel the sexual tension rising after a couple of dances. Last one was slow and D had his hands all over my ass. I know he wants me, P.

Ana: Finally happened, P. D kissed me as we danced. I was too excited to say anything, and then D looks me in the eye and says he's taking me home. Not afraid or embarrassed, but taking charge. I love my man so much.

Ana: I'm waiting here for a bit while D gets the car. God, I am so turned on we might not make it home. My son's going to fuck me tonight, P. Even typing the words is making me wet, P.

Paula: Be strong, girl. You said you wanted to do this right, not get laid in the backseat of a car. Besides, you look way too hot in that lingerie to not let D see you in it.

Ana: You're right P, as usual. Love you and so glad you are a part of this.

Ana: Had to do everything I could not try anything in the car. Wanted to suck D off so badly, or at least use my hands on him. Wish you could see D now, P. So turned on, so much fire in his eyes. Can't remember the last time a man looked at me like that. Well, maybe your son did. Lol

Ana: J/k. No one James wants to fuck more than his own mom. Trust me, D is the same way with me, and me with him.