All Comments on 'Dyslexia'

Just wow.

Ok, that was different

I suppose I should have mentioned it was an April Fools Day Contest entry.

;-)

Erin

Still humiliating and degrading.

It was gutsy that you took on the issue of domestic violence in gay relationships. That took courage and I commend you for that. The LGBT community prefers to ignore the issue rather than acknowledging it as an actual problem. It's too uncomfortable for us so we push it in the closet. That's a disturbing irony.

I knew from your tags and intro that this was going to be BDSM and Non Consent but it was still disturbing. The fact that it was sexy made it even more uncomfortable to read.

You made me feel the discomfort and embarassment. This was really well written and I actually felt their emotions and behaviors, so good job there. Dana's submissiveness while still being assertive and strong was nicely portrayed. All in all, this was a unique read from what is normally found on Literotica. You're insightful and talented.

Beautiful word play and extremely complex for so short a story. Not really my kink, so I mostly want to take Dana home, give her a shower, and feed her some pizza and cookie-dough ice cream.

It's brave to examine the grey area between craved degradation and intense violation, especially since (for me anyway) deepthroating a strapon is the least objectionable portion of that scenario. Sadly, it's not an unrealistic depiction of the end of an unhealthy BDSM coupling.

Parts of this are exceptionally well-written. You have obvious skill and ability. You're clearly an intelligent woman. Perhaps too intelligent for me.

The sentence work is fantastic. Top of the class. But The Who lyrics? Disjointing and, unless they are useful in some story-critical way that I fail to grasp, bordering on the pretentious. The piece itself is short enough that the prologue seems overly long.

The sex was rough and unapologetic, which didn't bother me one bit. I am not shy to a little bit of pain in my pleasure. I also admired the bravery of the piece. It's unusual. That scores points with me.

But each time I started to settle into it, you'd jerk me out with some superfluous element. You also, as indicated in the AN, seem to have no passion or experience with these kinks. At points it's evident.

This is by no means a bad story. You seem fully capable of writing a much better one, however. Perhaps you already have. This is the first work of yours I've encountered, and it's impressed me at least enough to check out your other work on Lit.

Just in case this pattern holds, though, I'm going to share with you some advice that one of my favorite professors gave to me. Ignore it as you will.

"As a writer, you need to get a hell of a lot dumber. Focus on what matters. Leave the academic gymnastics at the door. I know you're smart. I've seen that trick. Now show me you're human."

I look forward to more from you. Thank you for sharing. Yours is a unique voice in this contest.

Your story is really good, but kind of confusing. Just as I would start getting into it, there'd be a new part and I'd be like woah, what just happened.

impossible for us to fully grasp all the nuances of this story. I imagine that the couple who inspired this devious story got the best wind-up of all of us, since it is seemingly their fantasy (or reality).

Best of all the things I like in erotic stories is hearing the thoughts and emotions of the characters. You've given that wonderfully here. I've deleted 6 or 7 sentences trying to convey what that does for me... I think I wind up relating to things I wouldn't tolerate... or maybe I would...

Well, anyway, thank you for sharing your talents. The story was intense and unpredictable and I enjoyed the ride. Wherever life may take you, I hope you keep writing.

I have to be honest, I nearly stopped reading this, but I did read all the way, and I do like how you ended it.

Very deep, as LCL pointed out, a very fine line to walk.

The writing on the other hand was pretty amazing.