All Comments on 'Each Day is Valentine's Day'

I’m not sure I understood totally what happened, but I enjoyed it.

Could have been longer and more informative, but well-played.

not really a story

Where's the story?

What's to like? Too short and empty to rate higher than two.

Short but poignantly sweet.

Thanks A_Bierce

He didn't take up with a lawyer ever again!

5

Sultry tale taking place in a speakeasy it’s sophisticated with a Mickey Spillane feel to it ! I kept half expecting cigar smoking man in a fedora to subtlety walk in with a violin case in one hand and a dozen red roses in the other and as he places the roses on the table he opens the case and pulls a tommy gun from its depths and laughs as he says “‘This is curtains for you Pam , you dirty cheater , you shoulda never sucked the chrome off Louie the Legs ball hitch baby , just cause Freddie got fingered didn’t mean you could too! Say goodbye to my little friend Tommy 45 ——-Rat-a-tat-tat”

5 stars! If i could have given more, i would.

I would like to have read a much more fleshed out story but as it stands, i still loved it.

Very nice!

this is too vague

The setting was beautifully written and would be difficult to carry throughout a longer work but the ending was so abrupt that overall it felt somewhat anticlimactic. It's not horrible by any means but I can understand others feeling unsatisfied.

very nice indeed ur best tbh some weird ass tags though

Clever

For those of you that didnt get it after his wife became a partner with the law firm she works for she started having sex with other people so he dumped the stupid whore

I feel like a diner in the restaurant sitting just out of earshot range of these two (three?) characters.

Obviously, something of great import has occurred, but I'm left to speculate about most of it.

The story has a very nice flow, but not much of substance.

Really good writing!! A fun trip around the dance floor!! Thanks

This was horribly overwritten, apparently in a wooden attempt to generate a "Mickey Spillane feel". Almost unreadable. Certainly no humor, eroticism, or emotional impact. 1 star.

5* Plus a learned a new word (for me that is), "greige". Even the spell check was thrown for a loop on that one.

Why does his dialog on the phone switch between italics and straight text? It's all him speaking.

\

Obviously his wife had been having an affair. I assume she didn't know that he knew? So why not have him hit her with it? The fun in these stories is the conflict, and there was none here.

backstory?

????? Was there a story here? Like the old lady said years ago in the burger commercial, "Where's the beef?" Lots of eloquent words and phraseology, not much more.

Great short story. 4*

Boring and over-written

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 I like the flow and writing style of this story, it was like a smooth cool drink going down, as we the readers enters at the tail end of the MC’s interim journey. No heavy emotional highs on this one filled with the 5 stages of loss. We enter this tale after the protagonist has reached acceptance. He has picked himself up and actually found someone else who loves him, and we like the other guests enjoying their meal, music and ambiance have a front row seat on valentines night to an ending of a toxic affair and the beginning of a hopefully wonderful one.

An unusual little story, in the sense that the author allows his readers to choose their own villain.

Should it be the wife, whose neglect of hubby in favor of career has driven him into the arms of another woman?

Or, should it be the husband, who uses his wife's focus on career to excuse his dumping her for another woman?

Either choice might be considered reasonable, considering the story's dearth of relevant details. So, this is a "pick your own poison" kind of story for each reader. But it's interesting that the husband seemed to have wasted little time finding his wife's replacement.

Generally don't like these short tales but this one was very well done and presented. Short and sweet as they say.

That was fun. There is no indication of why he put up with it for so long, but it was still fun.

Don't understand some of the comments. Thought this was a great short story. Thanks for the effort.

Nice flash.

Great stuff. Unlike some, I don't believe "more typed words" are required for a story to be complete. From what IS typed here, it's clear that wife has been cheating for a long time, and hubby pulled the plug on their tenth anniversary, in their fave restaurant, and mgmt, waiter, and new girlfriend knew all about it. It's also obvious that his well-planned surprise attack likely included all the financial steps, and he's prolly also essentially moved out while the narcissist wife was totally clueless that hubby knew full well she was cheating. Or, at least, so spineless as to put up with it. It's an excellent story, fully expressed, with no doubt as to what has been going on, the planning done, the consequences, and the fact that hubby now has a brighter future. Brave A_Bierce.

😭😭😭 what is this? This wasn't really a story. It was short and a little confusing

You set a great scene in an interesting location, then failed to actually HAVE the scene,. Left wondering all sorts of things, unless your point is “marrying a lawyer is so fucked up I shouldn’t have to explain what went wrong.” /sigh

Classy dump.

Any story beginning with, "LAWYERS BELIEVE TRUTH is fungible," caps lock on in a shout, announces to the world that the author is a windbag who believes he's the smartest person in every room. Step down from your ivory tower to mix with the rabble? Don't bother.

Brilliant. I loved it from the first sentence.

Pity it was so short. Not because it needed more, just because I was enjoying it.

Worthless tags. Day, night store, road, then, subject, hot, cold, cherry .

Yes, that's how you can design a Valentine's Day. To each his own!

Weird -- but a good weird; 5* from me!

Not only are you a terrific writer, you also have great taste in music.

Well-written with a lot of flowery scenery hiding the absence of any story.

His wife was a lawyer and was named Lilith. How appropriate since Lilith was the first wife of Adam who left the Garden of Eden and became the mother of demons and the supreme empress of Hell.

It was a nice start....if this is it, I can only give it a 2

I enjoyed it.

A_Bierce always gets an extra point from me because he’s obviously a fan of The Great Northern. But alas, Lit only allows 5. Great story from the Great Northern!

there was nothing here....what did you do.....write this while sitting on the can? waiting for a bus? A commercial during a football game? No story...no plot...nothing......can't rate this above a two.

It is hard to breathe without atmosphere.

I liked it.

Green-something

I really enjoyed it. Very properly handled. I liked the no discripily sex scenes. Many of my clients have been female attorneys, they've all had attitudes. My daughter in law is a great attorney that had her weekly radio talk show. She has given me 5 grand babies that are as close to perfect as possible. We love her. It's great her husband finally stood up to her.

Was this an attempt at a 750 word story that went a little long. If it was, it deserves the 4 stars i gave you for a single scene story.

Otherwise it was woefully short. She was a hotshot lawyer. What did he do? Was he living off her income until he decided her cheating was worth it?

Just the revenge part? D

I would have loved to see more! But full marks for a short story that covered all the basics.

Just pay attention to the writing.

It's all explained.

She was being a bitch, screwing others, behind her husband's back.

He set up the entire scene for her to be served, including a requested song, in "tribute" to his still, loving wife.

He was already aligned with Meisha. She already had him in her heart and Meisha was already his.

Just beginning the final scenes of their wedding.

Lilith being absolutely certain that her husband knew everything that was going on, and she had no idea.

She presented her with her divorce papers, which had already been filed. She was sure that her life would never be the same again... At least, not like it used to be.

Offer 4 stars. He was fast, practical and to the point.

Maybe Karl can get Lilith a good shot of brandy... Maybe help her numb and hope it wasn't all just a nightmare... But I don't think so.

And well... as I always write: this is just my opinion.

Short and nice. Thanks.

Quite a lot packed into this little vignette! As Popeye was known to say "It's all I's can stands I's can'ts stands no more!" The MC took it from Lilith until he didn't any more. You would have thought Lilith could understand the problem he had regarding their marriage and seen this as an opportunity for both of them. Instead she responded with vitriol in keeping with the sense of entitled arrogance she had adorned herself with. She could do what she wanted; keep him waiting, treat him as an inferior partner, belittle him with words. He had better watch himself and treat her with respect, he didn't even pull her chair out for her! Nice compact story. - TANSTAAFL

1 Star

Trash.

-26thNC

That is how setting a scene should be done.... a quick, smoky deluge of Literotica prime.

Short, dense with meaning, and to the point.

_Very_ well done.

Well, sometimes an idea should simply stay that, an idea. That is of course until it is fleshed out into an actual story. This was simply a snippet of a story. I'm sorry but it seemed very forced. Sadly the BTB crowd will fawn over it and declare it the next great novel.

Not a very entertaining quarter page.

Just a scene, not a complete story. Well written as it is, it draws the reader in to want to know more about the characters, and alas that is lacking.

reads like somebody is working through something and had a revenge fantasy

Style over substance is not my cup of tea but to each their own

Thank you. Very enjoyable!

Bierce, good to see you writing again. Another story short and to the point. Until your next one, 5 stars.

Yea, yea… it’s all there in the subtext. And it is elegantly written…

But you know how you occasionally go to a fancy schmancy restaurant and have a fabulous, amazing meal… but the portions are so unbelievably tiny that it is overall unsatisfying and you grab a cheap, greasy cheeseburger on the way home?

That’s how I feel about this story.

Except no one gave me a cheeseburger so I’m pretty salty about that.

Left me wanting more. What's there is very well done. 5*

Seriously swank.

Thx 😎

A thinking man’s story perhaps? 5 thingys.

Well written Flash story, a beautifully captured moment in time and just enough of a twist at the end.

Not enough to judge. From your story Meisha get a 5 for her score.

Dripping with pretentiousness, but that's par for the course with this "writer".

Excellent flash story!

For a single page well written, but alas, the rest of the story is missing. 4*

Too bare bones to say it was great or even very good.

That said, it wasn't bad, its just there really wasnt enough for it to really roll.

The byline is kinda misleading.

I mean, the lawyers aren't even close to being done - the tramp only got served.

But it's a nice way to end a bad wedding, so to speak.

I'll second a lot of commenters by condemning the author for bypassing all the true fireworks here, but, for what it ended up being... it's quite delightful .

Just a wonderful and wonderfully craft short story.

.

It’s kinda weird how many negative comments this story is getting….even from several respected authors. Maybe it’s the ice cream cone phenomenon — you get handed a one scoop cone, and it’s great! But you wanted 2 scoops or 3. How dare the giver cheat you!!

.

For the unintuitive among commenters — the author provided more than enough info to sustain this short tale. Married 10 years, and husband has long known about the cheating. Instead of impulsively reacting, he took his time to plan his exit. Implicitly it was a long enough time to meet and find a replacement—the piano player 😎. He dropped the papers on her during what was probably one of the last activities the cheating wife still allowed…dinner on Valentines Day/Anniversary at their favorite restaurant. He knew she would, however reluctantly or timely would show up — she was uber arrogant.

.

Would most want tne expanded version? Sure! Give us 3 scoops, please! But this 1 scoop was still top shelf. Bravo!

Short, sweet, and to the point. Thank you

Such descriptions with such an economy of words. I tip my hat and say thank you for the entertainment. I'm sorry more didn't appreciate it as much.

4 stars for a very good middle of a story. Sadly, we do not get to see the start or finish - too bad so sad.

The folks complaining that this isn’t a story are saying far more about themselves than they are about this submission. It has a beginning, a middle, and an end. It has an opening, a frisson of conflict, and a satisfactory denouement. I find it to be a perfectly acceptable story.

I liked it. He was well aware of his wife's fucking around. he had enough of it, so he dropped a Petition for Divorce on her whore ass.

That some of you cried that A_Bierce didn't indulge you voyeurism is completely irrelevant.

Sometimes in stories, as in some marriages, all you need is the ending.

They say less is more, this proves it. Having said that more would not have been unwelcome.

Classy, dumped her on V-Day, while she has felt she was on top of the world.

Now she'll have a very very hard time processing her getting dumped. She probably felt her husband was beneath her, so to have him dump her....and then to leave arm in arm with a better looking woman. Ouch. Her ego just took a massive beating. And despite modern culture calling a male's ego fragile.....we all know how much more fragile a woman's ego is....especially one with a ticking biological clock.

This was a good prelude to a story. Unfortunately, there wasn't a story attached.

So very much information packed into such a tidy package. The only thing missing would be a revelation of photographic evidence of her cheating being made public and the fallout from that. She simply did not suffer and she deserved that.

Thank you for letting us imagine, rather than prechewing everything.

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

That was….elegant. Loved it, even while my curiosity remained on point.

Excellent. a.though it seems the loving husband was also playing away With the piano player. match

Story's so dang short they didn't even order dinner, altho in his 'favorite eating spot'. Kind of sums up the whole thing.....

Bloody genius writing! These two lines were absolutely perfect, both in scope and placement: 'Motte&Bailey Esqs. LLC' and 'Hitchcock would have signed her in a New York minute'. Tongue in cheek, much? Add 'pomegranate douche' in there as an honorable mention! Well-done adhering to both the contest requirements and category!

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5+++++/5!!!

Well chosen cheating wife's name "Lilith" fits her..

Short, pointed and the good guy rides away to fight another day! What more do we need? 5 stars

Dusting myself off, after rolling on the floor, laughing my ass off, in my opinion absolutely superb.

I think it's because the story is so good that many want more.

I'm just a simple guy who would love to hear this story from the wife's perspective. Why did she do it, her reaction to being served and the aftermath. Still a 5 star story.

What happened? Did you get bored? Vague 'story line' then an abrupt ending.

What an awesome tale. Loved the atmosphere and you used one of my favorite lyrics from one of my favorite tune in this short sweet Valentine’s treat. Thank you for writing!

I hope you win!

Helluva good story. Short but sweet and right to the heart of the matter. LP

Pomegranate douche? Ewww, but perfect for the scene. 5*.

OK, we got the what, and the how. You spent A Lot of time on the how. Maybe, someday, you might tell us the Why? Why he married her. Why he stayed married to her for so long? Why she stopped loving and respecting him, if she ever did. And some Who would be edifying. Who was she fucking? Who was Meisha? Who was going to get what from the divorce? Yeah, that takes too long. I get it. But thanks for the effort, what there was of it. And thanks for allowing anonymous comments. That always gets an author an extra star rating, or otherwise lose one. I respond to petty accordingly, not sorry.

Short and sweet and to the point. 4* Peace. (signed ML)

Short, not sweet, but very, very good 5*. Having eaten there I actually recognize the scene and it fit beautifully.