by Mr Story Teller
Very well written, not too long not too short, and totally hot. I wish I knew both of you!! Guess I better take up morning swims...
zhounder
agree with last comment... not too long... good quick action with plenty of detail...
thanks
really enjoyed it, was also nice to read a story in REAL english. thank you
"his hot cum shot into my mouth"
and he took the sperm balst into his mouth and got the wonderful feeling of guy guy lust.
This story got me very hard
One thing I want to say about dialogue is don't overthink it. In the begining when the guys are chatting it seemed a bit too formal. For a longer piece you might want to give people a speech pattern but for something like this lose the formality. You wouldn't likely say "thank you very much", youd probably just say "thanks". Imagine yourself in that situation, casual converation, people tend to say as few words as possible when they speak. I loved the story, but you dont need to talk about the imagery in the story, we all already get the imagery :) i wishit was longer so I could have cum..usually takes about 3 pages ;) nice work!