All Comments on 'Eat Your Fuckin Cake!'

I very much enjoyed this, thank you.

Jack blew those fucker up, nice plot and a damn good story. Saxon beware the haters will be out soon. 5 stars

Well done Saxon, this was a very funny entertaining story. I am glad to see you back writing again. And I really enjoyed how you name dropped the various Band members throughout your story and laughed at the part about where 'Justin bieber'' was disbard for shagging male clients. 5 stars all the way from me. Thanks for writing.

every highway, road and street needs maintenance, TK U MLJ LV NV

Torch the bitch and all wimps.

It wasn't the torch the bitch mentality, it's the inconsistency of the story. It jumped around like a crack fiend looking to score. It was the contempt the author showed for anything literary. The author abused the English language so bad, charges should

Filed against him.

Great story, but I got lost at the end with the change of narrator. I imagine that you did it to confuse as to who Jack wound up marrying at the end, but ... as I said - i got lost. 5/5

I PRESUME ALL THE NAME DROPPINGS WERE IN THE SPIRIT OF THE COMPLETE STORY, YOU SEEM TO HAVE DEVELOPED QUITE A HABIT IN THIS DISCLOSURE, RESPECTFULLY tk u mlj lv nv

I for one would love to hear the alt ending...Also would like to see a part 2 to Merry Little Christmas while your at it...

With all the fetish cuck dribble posted by others this is a fun bit of balance to the world.

The humor was a pleasure. I laughed several times. That was the good part. It sort of rambled around and some of the plot really stretched my ability to suspend disbelief. All in all, I enjoyed it, but with some cleaning up, it would have been excellent. Thanks for the work and for posting it for us readers.

The cuck got his innings in and the twists along the road were sudden. The conspiracy against the poor guy was quite thick. By the way the discussion of how a city looks from the point of view of its maintenance crews was really interesting.

The writer gets off on using abusive language to describe women. He's probably gay.

"This guy really hates women"

It isn't 'gayness' which causes a hatred for women. The contrary if anything. Gay men have...options.

Too many unbelievable settings (judge, therapist, swing club in derelict building) and more-than-weird opinions (in short: "Bruce and I fuck all week, you get a pity-fuck once a week, but stay faithful, because I love you! - why can't you accept that?"). And a little less of language-abuse would have been better for the reader...

3* for your effort

No , I take that back. With the quality of Stang's stories slipping to the point where they aren't worthy of comment. Saxon is writing BETTER then his mentor. This story wasn't all bad & had a very strong introduction as in 5 star quality. This is a trademark of this author but then the plot started to wobble.

The tone of the story was farce. I can appreciate thar. No one misses Hard Day's Knight absence from Loving Wives more then me. There were some jewels in terms of fairly innovative ideas that kept me reading .

The narrator using his city position to drown the man who cuckolded him in a quicksand of regulations & red tape struck a grim chord. Likewise the twist of the judge being in carnal cahoots with the marriage counselor . There was real potential for this story.

The multiple 'Point of View' switches coming at the end of the story derailed the story . Also, the exposition developing the neighbors so Brenda could hook up at the tail end with Narrator was flabby & unfocused.

In end analysis : thus story could have been worse . Alas - the tantalizing talent of this author didn't quite gel in terms of writing a full blown masterpiece akin to Stang or HDK at the top of their Loving Wives game. Maybe next time. Credit is accorded to the author for his ambition & effort. Full credit, however ....maybe next time.

Dude, this was as boring they come. All that was missing was some Martians to make it more realistic.

Thanks for posting. You wrote a fun tale. The "revenge by red tape" or "pencil-fucking" was a humorous twist.

This was a good story and Jack is a great character who I would like to see more of in the future.

I was totally engaged right up to where the story changed abruptly to Robin's POV. That was so jarring and unnecessary. It added nothing to the story except confusion. Another POV change to Brenda felt like a contrivance to pull off the twist at the end. I loved the plot, I loved Jack, I was delighted so see Jack and Brenda hook up at the end, but I didn't like the sudden POV changes at all.

Still...well deserved 5*

Good job on the story. Over all good storyline. Some over the top but what the hell its your story and I am along for the ride.

Liked the ending with hooking up with Brenda!

So please keep writing and submitting and I will keep reading! Yes 5 stars

Thank you!

you hit all the right people the right way. good read. would prefer you did not use people we know for names though, but what the hell.

Thanks for sharing.

I liked the story and the ending but would like to have the alternative ending.

sprkpnko@dccnet.com

so... aftr all 5 pages of this... WHY did he throw her out and crush her only to take her back and move to Wyoming?

anyone ? anyone at all?

Bueller ?

He moved to Las Vegas (which is not in Wyoming) with the hot body from the pool!

I get a chuckle over your names and some of your plot set ups. The therapist that's an apologist for cheating women. The judge that gives women everything in their divorces and forces counseling to screw them over. The sex club. It's all over the top but the tone of your writing is light and whimsical. I guess I look at it like accepting the improbabilities of a science fiction story.

I also love Jack, the simple but clear thinking town worker. He gets revenge neatly and believably. Now Brenda is a gift from God because she is far better than a private detective with her timely videos. But Jack uses them beautifully. Jack's revenge was effective and complete although I wish he had kicked Bruce in the balls a few times. Deserting the still clueless Robin in a hotel room was pretty funny.

But Robin and Bruce are just too much. Robin is happily fucking Bruce and has zero understanding that this would be a problem. Bruce doesn't either. Why, Robin even says Bruce will allow her to fuck Jack a couple times a week so Jack should have no complaint. Bruce has zero credibility as a dominant that will control their sex life. He's a hypocritical marshmallow.The old lady whacking in the huts with her cane is a perfect summation of Bruce, sleazy and weak. I could believe Jack could be a dominant. Bruce? No way! The whole discussion with Robin trying to convince Jack to be a willing and happy cuckold is sickening and stupid. Neither Robin nor Bruce have the chops to pull it off and Jack is definitely no pushover. It wasn't funny. Robin and Bruce are painfully obtuse. The situation was cruel and humiliating to Jack and it was unconnected to the whimsy of the rest of the story. You tried to embed a piece of Edward Sissorhands in the middle of Mary Poppins.

please send my altnetive ending to Nyminus@yahoo.com

a little over the top but a nice story just the same. one of the few revenge stories where justice is done to a cheating spouse. good story on a corrupt judge and cohorts getting there due.

But it doesn't come close to one of his better stories. A decent editor would take care of the grammar/spelling/word choice errors, but the storyline itself needs a bit of work. Others have already pointed out the POV issues at the end, and some of the character inconsistencies. The plot being so over-the-top is fine for a farcical romp, but the overall tone is just too torch-the-bitch for my taste. Not that Robin didn't deserve to lose, but too much of it was just petty meanness, rather than justified retribution.

Where is the "erotica" in the lit? Everyone has sex but Jack! I suppose that throws a boner in the guys who like beer and guns and revenge more than pussy, but other than references to sex, there wasnt any. But her gets the job, the house, the money, the vengeance and the laughs. And Butter Face.

Great, witty, and 5*, but seriously, should have been in non-erotic. And I really never advise category changes.

Enjoyed the satire and play on words/names. A few writing errors and agree with others that the ending was weak. Good marks for originality. Four stars, thanks for writing.

One of the few on this site more insulting and stupid and clueless than Harry.

A character who swears as much as I do! Well I never!

The story dealt with a serious theme in a humorous way. It was Over The Top, but that was part of its charm.

I pissed myself when I realized that Jack left the whore in the motel in Wyoming. I felt a bit sick though when I thought they had reconciled, especially since you blast the RAAC wimps on here. When I realized Brenda was the wife I had to give you five stars my man!

A good revenge story that is fast paced and an enjoyable read.

Thanks for the story.

Not so much for the ending, but for the many humerous passages. Gotta love the "make them suffer" attitude. For once we have a macho type who doesn't subscibe to the "Cheaters handbook".

Loved especially the part "Where whoever came up with the It's only sex" saying should have his head caved in by cinder blocks. Laughed so hard. Great passage!!

Saxon, the writing could have been better, but for me, this story made my day! Have been chuckling ever since. I wouldn't publish the alternate ending. Maybe clean this one up and publish a rewrite. Good job anyway.

...Stang Star's wacked out fantasies are enough for a section of lit that gets less erotic and more juvenile every year. Do you ever rewrite before submitting?

LW stories are becoming more juvenile because the most vocal part of the LW readership is becoming more juvenile. Why would HDK, ohio, jack, winterfoxx, KK, etc submit a thoughtful well-crafted story to LW these days? Do you cook filet mignon or hot dogs when your hillbilly relatives visit on July 4th?

over the top but funny as hell. Yeah some of the plot being unrealistic is true but far worse corruption happens irl.....the hypocritical preacher is spot on,the religious right are some of the most fucked up people out there which they mask with a mask of purity.I loved the line about bruce couldn't run from a nazi that took balls to write in this pc age.

At first that I thought: What the hell kind of ending is this? He caved and took her back? I was surprised! Very nice ending after all. Great Story!

This had one of the very few unpredictable endings on this site. Can you name another author here who doesn't end with the protagonists fucking their brains loose?

Ha, Ha, Ha Good twist for Brenda. Good humorous story 5 stars from me. I prefer the Second Chance epiloges.

Very good Romantic and Modern Figaro Type mixed Revenge story, full of humor. I would have taken the epiloge to common child(ren), but it does not matter. Thank you for increasing my brain cells transmitter levels by laughing.................

Reign=period of governance of royalty ; rein=control straps of horses or oxen;

Rain=water from the sky. "rein in your client!"

Wave=move hand up and down OR motion of water or gas ; waive=forgive a requirement

Generally speaking, the writing mechanics are adequate. There are few places of ambiguity, except those which are intended as such. Sweetie's initial 'betrayal' is hard to explain until her history is included, much later. Then, Hubby's surprise is amazing, and the hard-to-understand part is Hubby marrying Sweetie in the first place! Good ending!!!

4*

It was nice as far as simple revenge stories go.Compared to really great stories on Literotica it would, of course, only have warranted 2 Stars, but I see this 'Cheating Whores Revenge Stories' as a Category with its own rules.

What cost you the 5th Star was definitely one hand that the plot was only so-so and on the other hand that the wife was not very believable: She cheats on him and honestly thinks he will support her for an other man who even gets to make the rule when hubby 'gets some' ? I don't think so, even cheaters have a few brain cells.

The names are very distracting and take away from the story.

i would like to read how your other ending goes and you did do a very good job on this story my address is jcwolk@hotmail.com

You scared me there for a minute... I thought jack actually was thinking/considering taking the slut back.... Worst I thought he turned around & married the whore again.... Oh you totally fooled me... Where can I start, the psychiatrist ( Landers) should be shot, I'm glad she slit her wrist this world doesn't need a sick, deluded, psychotic, perverted whore treating healthy sane people... I absolutely couldn't believe the pure bullshit she was spewing. Omg , the fucking judge! Wow how she gonna try to force the poor men to stay with the utter gutter trash nasty slut? She too should be shot...what can I say about the slut wife, bitch is gonna end up either shot or dead from AIDS! I thought it was fricking hilarious he left her dirty ass in a motel sleep.... Ha! I don't know if I was a man if I'd marry the chic (Brenda) who has been fucking her own blood brother for who knows how long....ewww... I found myself wondering if these people (excluding jack ) was on something... I absolutely loved jack! He was hilarious & he stood up for himself.... Go jack! I see the slut ex wife still hasn't learn her lesson, she got married 2 months after he left her ass sleep in the motel & got caught was again fucking around with bigger dicks.... What kind of stupid man would marry this skank after only 2months? Great story enjoyed it immensely ... Looking forward to more...

*LOVED* it :)

I'd been meaning to read SH's tale, but just kept putting it off. I liked it! A good old fashioned revenge tale. It had its weak points, but it was so much better than so much of the BTB drivel that's been coming out lately.

The good: The humor, of course. So many great lines, I can't pick a favorite. The writing style I liked a lot. I read like the main character thought and spoke. It was rough and ready, rude and crude. And, I don't know, real I guess. I just really enjoyed the actual reading of the story. Also, despite it's roughness, the editing (in terms of spelling, grammar, style, etc.) was good. Obviously a lot of work went into this. I also liked the creativity. You plunged this reader into a very strange, surreal place. It was kind of like a heavy metal David Lynch story. I also kind of liked how you brought up the circumstances of the hubby and wife's meeting later in the story. Also, the little surprise at the end was nice.

The bad: While the main character seemed real, the events in the story were outrageously unrealistic. I managed to forget about that, and just enjoy the ride, though, so no real harm done.

The ugly: any LW story, no matter how fantastic or crazy (and this was both) needs to have some basis in reality in terms of human emotion, rationale and logic. The wife's and best friend's behaviors, thinking, motivations and attitudes were so divorced from each other and, well, reality, that I had a hard time buying into the underlying story. The wife is totally in love with hubby, but goes (presumably in about 2 months) to a crazy cuckolding bitch mode without any real explanation (size queen? OK, but that only gets to the tip of the iceberg...). And hubby has no idea that his life-long best buddy is this sex-club swinger pervert etc., etc.; and then that same buddy (and wife) think hubby is going to stand for this? The disconnect makes it pretty much impossible to really connect with the story and the characters.

Nevertheless, I liked this. It isn't storytelling of the highest order, but it is entertaining, it is better than decent writing (for this site), and it is worth the effort.

Thanks for the output, and I hope you write more, and continue to improve.

I just got to this story and I am glad I did. I enjoyed it. He seemed like a hard working guy who at the end got what he deserved i,e., a decent woman who only loved him for what he is and not jst a big dick. It was great to see that his dirtbag ex wife and friend got the shaft. Please submit another one of your great stories soon.

I can't imagine how it could end any better but I would like see he alternate ending.

Leaving the whore in podunk nowhere Wyoming was priceless. You have a gift. Now I gotta go read more of your shit.

Gave it 5 stars, what a hoot. The language attitude and booze - just like my buds and I. Keep it up man.

Justin Bieber was dis-barred because he was discovered to have had sex with a few of his male clients. LMAO!

I didn't even care about the lack of "erotica"! That was some funny shit! Loved the 'no bullshit' demeanour of Jack.. I felt a bit let down when he supposedly gave her a second chance. but you fixed that nicely!

I can't believe the double standard which the women can fuck anyone but the men have to stay faithful.. Could have more retribution for the cheaters but our hero would up happy so that was enough. I hate cheaters.

Loved it. Funnier than most of the humour and satire. Jack's language is earthy and realistic.

Farkin brilliant. Should be in the "Humour" section though. The language and mind set throughout is typical of many a practical bloke.

romp! Wicked wit, non-stop action and a hell-on-wheels lead character who only throws punch lines. A delicious read...take care

What a gash. Your command of the English language is fucking inspirational. A tale told very well.

Simple fun -

Had a while when the legal/psych connection looked like it would beat him - but he did what was right and stood his ground then found a winning way out - there were others way to write that but that one worked wonderfully.

Well constructed and wonderfully executed -

but I knew there was a reason why I don't like government employees.

Good story...until the end. Can't take back that type of person. Too stupid or too easy to manipulate. That kind of woman you leave behind. Way behind.

Poor continuity. Forced ending.

This is classic Saxon Heart - loved it.

Love the death metal references. Especially love how you included Cannibal Corpse. As an aside, I would have personally used several different cannibal corpse songs to describe my actions. The first one is Disposal of the Body.

...and the plot is pretty damned improbable. But it was a really fun read! 5 stars

I like loving wives stories but am not a fan of BTB. However, this was damn good. It could have gotten very dark and depressing but you kept it humorous with your writing skills. Was it "over the top" as some have complained? Hell yeah, but so was "Romeo and Juliet" or "The Great Gatsby". If fiction is not over the top then it is everyday ordinary boring. Sure there were a few mechanical errors but this site doesn't employ high priced editors to catch them. I liked your reference to celebrity names, a good dose of humor. As for the POV change at the end, yes it was a bit jarring at first but really made the ending stand out. This is the first time I have read your work, but not the last. I came to it because of a comment you made on a forum to a new author about writing a story for LW. Thanks for taking the time to write such an entertaining tale.

came back to say SAXON i love your writing!

good Job. 5 *

for a few more commandments, TK U MLJ LV NV

You are a great writer. Keep writing this kind of revenge story, and I will read them.

I still love this story. Jack is the kind of guy I wish I could be like. I have to be in court next week and I'd love to act like him and not get locked up.

...in my opinion. This story had it all and I felt a multitude of emotions while reading.

Thank you for this experience. 5*

Fuckin' AWESOME!

5 HUGE Stars!

I enjoyed your story and it was entertaining. I found certain sections to be confusing and excursions from the main elements if the story serving only to draw from the impact of any drama from scene to scene. The story seemed to be longer than necessary to cover the ground that had relevance to the plot. However, the main elements of this story were quite incredible and thoroughly enjoyable.

Finally....a guy who actually owns a set of balls. I've read all the wimp stories I can handle.

I KNEW someone on this site could write a story from a man's point of view. Kudos!

5*

5*

You have a real unique writing style. You really understand how to write a humorous line. Please keep writing. Your skill at word arranging is possibly better than Mickey Spillane's.

If I ever need a lift, I come read your stories. So absolutely fantastic. I love your writings as they tend to be of real men.

Only 1 place for a cheating wife: the curb.

OK, kerb for the Brits. )

'nuff said.

"LW stories are becoming more juvenile because the most vocal part of the LW readership is becoming more juvenile. Why would HDK, ohio, jack, winterfoxx, KK, etc submit a thoughtful well-crafted story to LW these days? Do you cook filet mignon or hot dogs when your hillbilly relatives visit on July 4th?"

I do sympathize, my good fellow cuck. That backwoods rabble and their uncivilized palates can enjoy their hot dogs and hamburger helper whilst we sup on frothy cream pies, perhaps with a Cocktail chaser? Fresh from the source, of course! Teehee!

It is indeed a shame we have to permit their 5 to 10 percent of the stories in this category. I suppose it does give my trusty old tweezers a much needed rest from the serious stroking brought upon by cuck classics from the likes of the aforementioned winterfoxx and his delightfully decadent romp, "Dig Two Graves." I soiled myself during my fifth reading of that first chapter and my loving wife and her burly bull revoked my masturbation privileges for a fortnight! You know how that goes, I'm certain! If only that bull would take me by the horns...am I right?

At least THAT writer knows how to craft an evolved male character. One who knows to let his wife get away with anything, no matter how insane it might appear to the unwashed and unenlightened masses! If your wife and her lover kidnap, assault, torture and maim you, leaving you for dead and abusing her power to try and rob you...the civilized thing to do is make up and be friends. What other option is there? "Burning the bitch?" Pish posh! That would be digging two graves, rather than just the one for his last shred of human dignity and pride as a man.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

In all seriousness, though, excellent story, Saxon. Some of the celebrity names were a bit distracting, but Jack was a great character, and his mutant neighbors were also quite entertaining. The revenge was unique and clever. A man being a man will always rub some critics around these parts the wrong way, no matter how absurd their RAAC version of "reasonable" appears to others.

Cog

The stylized quirky humor is your strong suit.

Dial back on the stupidity of your villains, make the situations a bit more realistic and your writing will be a lot more formidable.

2 star

Your wife is...that is if any woman was stupid enough to marry you.

It was funny throughout thanks

Four stars

5* all the way.

My kind of guy.....take no prisoners. Although, my ex would have suffered far greater consequences.

To all the lame assholes who want to slam your story and tell you how you should have done it, eat shit and die. I checked, not one of you sorry assholes have written or posted one story. Get a life.

Very good story...Thank you...

the name gag was the funniest. have to admit I didn't catch the significance of the names of the parents next door together till you did for us at the end. Tom and Jeri, good one!

you did miss one opportunity however. you should have thrown in the three stooges somewhere.

Looks as if you'll have to accept ten typed in ones. One crazy MF for sure, I liked him. Liked the story too, keep writing.

**********

Clever use of names for the characters, and entertaining dialogue. My only criticism, is the incest.

Hilarious! Funny and fit for LW. Both endings were okay. I've read stories in the past wherein a female judge was a closet dyke and had a cuckold husband. She was disbarred as well. Good reading as well as writing. Cheers!

The humor covered up a number of writing flaws.

TAGS: I really zero in on these. I have been trying, for months, to find two stories I've previously read. I have tried all kinds of tags searches. I recently found one of them - three of the author's four tags were absolutely useless. I don't see how I'll ever find the other one since the two most obvious tags (blackmail and MMF) haven't worked. Back to these tags - I would never use any of these to search for this story.

defintely liked the revised ending better than the original. Thanks.

totally unrealistic scenario, but a fun read.

Good Story. I, however liked the original ending better... good either way.

Sammy