All Comments on 'Eat Your Fuckin Cake!'

Writing characters who are insipidly stupid allows them to slide seamlessly into stories with the same kind of plotlines. If OP tried to write a tongue-in-cheek Gonzo piece, this mostly works. However, treating its wholly unlikely plot twists and action as if it were serious undoes the lighthearted leaning. Thus, you have a piece that reads like the other eight-thousand stories with the same plot. The sad part about this one is it had a few funny lines that raised our hopes, only to have them dashed at the end.

Excellent. & hilarious. Luv all the music jokes. Have to say, preferred the first ending though.

I like the second ending better, if I read correctly that would be the original. But either way it’s a really good story, nice to see a bunch of hypocritical assholes get it shoved up it and broken off. Thanks for the story, S_H, it was great.

5 stars

Someoneother summarized the cliche-ridden plot well enough. New ending with the Brena twist is better than the original. Robin was a head case, gullible, easily manipulated, and massively delusional.

Except for watching the Rockies, this was a great story. Go D Backs.

Jack was a hoot....his response to acheating wife was great......happy for Brenda

I liked both endings. keep up the good work.

Standard plot:

1. Wife tries to cuckold husband;

2. Husband is wonderful guy and good lover;

3. Wife “loves” husband but wants bigger cock;

4. Bull gets preferential treatment;

5. Husband rejects cuckold offer and moves out;

6. Divorce judge requires counseling which is handled by a pro-wife nincompoop;

7. Wife has disastrous life after divorce; and

8. Husband finds a beautiful and younger wife who had secretly been lusting for him, and they live happily after.

Even though one knew exactly where the story was headed, the execution was well-written, engaging and funny.

The only part I didn’t care for was when Jack warned the psycho psychologist about their upcoming exposure. I would think letting them be “Live at 11” would be better revenge, but that’s just me.

" pulling ball hair out with pliers " is an image I'm still trying to get over;;

Excellent use of David Crosby, Graham Nash, and Justin Bieber. 5*.

This should have been in the humor section.

A simple man with a temper but good character …….a young women, insecure….now educated and self confidence increasing AND dedicated to her husband….also good character. Should be a good and permanent match for each. An important point…..sex between them ……because of their intense feelings for each other ……will always be their maximum possible ……the subjective nature of sex makes them the best possible experience there can be for each of them. A lesson that sluts and lothsarios can never understand or experience as they lack the character. These two both gladly place the other before themselves….its that simple but often that hard to find R. H.

There were some laugh out loud great passages in this story. Five stars.

Hilarious main character ;-)

I’ve enjoyed some of your other stories. Not this one.

Terrible character development

A good story, but it would have been better without the gratuitous anti-LGBTQ+ “jokes." Bigotry is not funny. It casts a bitter, intolerant shadow over the plot's development. Authors can hold whatever prejudices they choose, but their writing will always suffer if they publicize them in their work products.

ei62 is just pissed because they are using your whore hotel for city storage now. Damn it must suck having to go back to your chair by the bed instead of your seat at the bar of sodom. You poor worthless bastard.

For some stupid reason, I pictured Jack as Frank Grillo and even read his lines in his voice in my mind!

Loved this, well written and the sarcasm is hilarious. Some unique twists here and the revised ending is a bit better.

5 stars

Total crap ,dont give up your day job

Some very nice hilarity in this one, Thanks for the leafs.

Decent story.

Good job.

After reading this story I am now retarded! THANKS A LOT SAXON_HART : )

Maybe its my wicked sense of humour but one of the funniest stories ive ever read on here, still lmao.

You couldn't get Joe Brown or Judy?

Okay story well worth 5/5

Great story and I loved both ending Its like seeing from both sides

So much testosterone. So little brain. Human life in all its wonderful disfunctionality. Just ridiculous enough to be hugely entertaining.

LA

Was about to give this a low rating when I though Jack took back his ex, glad to see it was a fake-out. 5 stars.

5 Stars on a good story .. Thank You for this Story .

I like your early ending the best! That WAS the second ending right? ;) Either way, you are still on the top rung of the genius ladder!

Almost every therapist becomes a therapist because they are messed up and need massive therapy!

Great story. 55555

BUT, authors DO NOT write this type of nonsense: "I do order marriage counseling Mr. Ericson. You ARE ordered to attend and pay for no less than four sessions with a court appointed therapist."

It. Never. Happens. Never.

It would seem to me that the spouse who wants counseling should have to pay for it.

/

"Mr. Ericson I see you are the 2nd, but no son is listed. Might I ask how this came to be?" - What does being the 2nd have to do with having a son?

/

Odd that Jack wanting Robin to be faithful is "archaic," but Bruce wanting Cheryl to be faithful is just fine.

/

Who cares how they met? They must have, or we wouldn't be here. The only pertinent info is that she was impressed by his package. That could have been handled in two sentences.

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"Mr. Ericson, it seems that many happily married couples enjoy multiple partners." - She means wives enjoy multiple partners, of course, not husbands.

/

Both endings are okay. I do like the revised one better, but if I had never read it, I wouldn't have had a problem with the original.

Great BTB story with also getting revenge on the pastor, the judge and the counselor. I was glad to see Jack with Brenda and the happily ever after they got. Well Done. 5 stars

Weaving in the non-sequitur lines, along with naming all the characters after musicians or...worthless SCOTUS justices, is BRILLIANT... Bonus of 5 Stars awarded!

I like your sarcastic sense of humor. This story had me laughing a few times. I thought the original ending in Jack’s POV was better.

I loved both endings, great story.

I loved it! Sooo funny.

Far too much rubbish cut out the crap and keep to a shorter story. long winded but reasonably good marks out of 10. 3 AT THE BEST.

"I'm not tossing our marriage out. We can stay married. I'll just have sex with Bruce. I just love the way his cock feels in me. I don't love him, just his cock. He says I can come take care of your needs once or twice a week."

Just a`snippet to show what kind of stupid is coming after it.

lee5456 you need to read it again ,he never took the cheating whore back .

StangStar dropped names into his stories. Dr. Abby Landers, you have to be of a certain age group to understand those names. Nice of you to drop her off in Longmire territory, lots of horns to hang up that way. Signed: BTW

Why did this story go on and on and on?

It should have stopped after page 1

Nothing more of interest or substance was added in the remaining 4 pages.

CRAP

How did you get all of those singers from the 60s to appear in your story? He took her back? Just another ball-less Wonder

I've known therapists, judges, lawyers, and town crew, but none of them were like that! So, it was fun! Who needs reality when fiction is better? Well told.

still great for some laughs.

Paul in Oklahoma

Read the story enjoyed the story

One of my favorites by Saxon Hart. Just as good he second time through. Covers all the bases for me.

After years of reading stories from LW on this site, I can't believe that I've only just found your collection of stories. So glad that I finally found them.

He made her pay in the end ..

I agree the change in view point does allow a bit more “Surprise” to the end, but...

...it also totally telegraphs it way too much. At least for me, it’s like a soft drum roll starting in a musical or movie, that gets louder and louder. Or I suppose in a movie, it’d be the scary organ music near the end and there had been no other scary music to “boy that cried wolf” you several times elsewhere in the movie.

As soon as the view point changed, in your story, I thought ‘Oh-oh, it’s not Robin.’ Then I just had to figure out who it could be. My number one pick was Brenda. A close second, immediately, was Cheryl, but then I thought he was pretty disgusted with her and her attitude of cheating probably wouldn’t change, so she goes to the bottom of the list. So from third becomes second is Jeri, but she’s too ugly, solid with Tom, and Jack didn’t chase married woman. So she’s checked off the list. Then who? Maybe a complete X-factor, like someone from work. That would be a real surprise, but not very fummy, but still...

That all took about 5-seconds. So as I finish the last 25 paragraphs, I’m thinking, “It’s either Brenda (70%), someone from work from Colorado (14%), Robin (9%), or Cheryl (4%), Jeri (2%), or someone totally out of rightfield (1%). And, Voila, it’s Brenda.

So it’s a twist, but not a huge surprise. And to do it you had to totally shatter the view point of the telling of the story.

Maybe if you had kept it from Jack’s view point, and been able to keep the “Surprise” another 5 or so paragraphs (without adding 5 paragraphs to the story - that’d be sort of a cheat, and I think it’d be difficult to do) it could a real surprise. Get the reader more comfortable that this was Robin. Really let the fish swallow the bait, before you set the hook. Following that analogy, reading the second version (the initial all Jack version) I was nibbling pretty well that the woman was Robin, but wasn’t sure yet. I hadn’t yet fully commited/taken the bait. But I was close. Just a tiny bit more and I might have bitten. THEN, once swallowed... Surprise!

Again, following that analogy, in the switched view version, I was pretty sure this was most likely bait; you telegraphed it pretty stongly. I just didnt know for certain what kind, though I was pretty certain it was Brenda. What would have been really tough was to convince me it wasn’t bait at all, somehow. Convince me it wasn’t Brenda, since that’s who I thought of immediately with the switched view point. Then tantalize me with “Who” else it could be. Maybe push Cheryl. Once I’d been taken by the “wrong” bait, set it, and surprise me with the hook.

Yeah it’s over the top, but only when you combine all of the elements. A preacher who’s a pervert? Fairly common. Crooked judge who takes advantage at parties, then lies about it? Hell now they’re on the Supreme Court! Psychologist with questionable ethics? Nobody’s surprised at that. City workers sticking together? Some call it a union. Cheating size queen wife... anyone surprised?

It’s a fun read. Entertaining.

So over-the-top unrealistic is was ridiculous. I loved it.

Straightforward, no-nonsense writing style, reminiscent of Just Plain Bob. No food menus or scenery tableaus, just onward with the story. More twists and turns than a crooked mountain road.

Laughed out loud periodically during story. Then at end, threw up my hands and laughed out loud (I'm alone).

One of the better -- and more outrageous -- Loving Wives stories I have read.

Paul in Oklahoma

That was one great story. You hit all the buttons in this one . A classic of the BTB genre. I mean really, you burnt the bitch wife , the preacher lover, judge, therapist, and various spouses. You messed up only by making the big, black, ex football player, a good man. Other than that slip, perfection.

Brenda needed more time to experience life on her own. Dragging her to Las Vegas so he wouldn't be alone seems self serving. And I can't see her parents being happy about it at all. Why would be bail out? He owned his house. He had a good job. Sure he might need some new friends, but over all, after the divorce, things should have been going his way. Colorado for Las Vegas? Seems like a bad trade. And any ending in which he ends up with Brenda seems questionable at best. Lousy endings.

" Dude". (dude)- emphasized with, fucking awesome, and many kudos.

I really enjoyed the story. I read this one to my wife, she whined about to much detail and time spent on the job. But she would bitch if she were hung with a new rope. (Ouch); that's going to leave a bruise, I guess I should have waited until she wasn't watching to comment.

Two words summarize my response: hilarious; five.

Some commentators have said the plot is unrealistic. So what? I loved the use of the names. Tell me that the plot of The Hunt for Red October is plausible, or anything by Stephen King. It's entertaining fiction folks. I smiled throughout.

the slut could imagine that she would be accepted back after pointing out his dick size deficiency is beyond me. Hard to imagine real people like her but there are all kinds.

you know the best thing about this story - Brenda (everything else is kind of flat and nothing unique) and yes to some extent Jack too.

But getting certain things straight would make it even better. Just a couple of for instances. You have Robin going to the club the next night to get dped and then it is that night, you have Cheryl moving to California and then Minnesota but you never mention Minnestoa again only California. I don't know where Minnestoa came from...do you? That and the typical grammar screw ups kinda pull a story down a notch or two. Overall though the story was fun to read!

Your use of celebrity names as characters was a bit off-putting but other than that the story was interesting!

The original ending was good!

Fun story. Some parts of it are quite similar to another story I read here. The judge conspiring with the man-hating counselor who gets tripped up by irregularities. Maybe you had idea first?

Dykes eat pussy, dikes hold back water at least in common usage.

I remember a girl with face like the Wicked Witch of the West who had the most perfect tits on her skinny body, all natural. Another slightly older perfect body with a huge schnozz. They represent surprising value as they don't feel as entitled as more classic beauties. Many times they are sweeter and that trumps looks for the long haul.

You had me laughing all the way through this. The only thing I didn't really care for were the goofy names of many of the characters.

A fun time, thanks!

...actually, women aren't about connecting at an emotional level. They're about resource gathering. It's a basic survival instinct that our society has, unfortunately, honed in them to a level that is, quite frankly, destructive.

There's a reason why 50% of women married in a recent study were stringing another guy along. They may not have been cheating with him, but they had their back-up wallet in-case the primary wallet ever wised up, or just didn't pass a shit test.

The "Just Sex" excuse is just that, an excuse. Women have been literally trained to believe that men think about sex at a ridiculous level (multiple times a minute? really?). When looking to explain a behavior that even they don't generally understand or, if they do, don't EVER want to admit, they think we'll understand the excuse "It's just sex".

These days it's so cliche that people believe it and thus a lot of writers use it. Keep in mind though that a LOT of women these days ride the cock carousel quite expertly so it may very well be "just sex" in there minds.

As for the tale, I always liked this one for it's absurd over-the-top plot and characters.

Really,, no one could be that selfish. The wife is fucking his "friend" and she get indignant when he mentions perhaps finding another pussy to indulge in himself. Then the wife of the "friend" has the audacity to say that she's a one man woman while being involved in cuckolding our hero. There really can't be anyone that deluded in existence on the planet. I liked the revenge against the enablers though, that was alright. Jail for some, death for others. But in truth..I've been reading this shit now for a couple of months and I could never quite put my finger on what was off with these stories and then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I always wondered about the writers (I'm convinced there only 3-4 of these guys) having the loving wife or girlfriend say something about it only being sex. For the longest time that pissed me off because it made no sense...and then it struck me why it doesn't make sense. Women are so different from men that it's said we're from different planets. Women are all about connecting on the emotional level so for woman to go all out for sex with some strange dick there would have to be a strong emotional connection with the person connected to that strange dick. So much so that she wouldn’t have the connection to the poor husband or boyfriend she has chosen to abandon. She simply would not make these hollow meaningless protestations of deep, unfailing love and devotion for the jilted husband or boyfriend these 3 writers find so compelling.

Bottom line is that the stories are written so obviously from a man's point of view that it makes the story completely unbelievable, just so much hogwash. Men do believe it could be "just sex" because men think with their dicks, the lower head rules the upper head. But women are all about the heart and without that engaged, there really isn't that strong a sex drive, not on the level these 4 writers try to convey. Now if she's transferred the love, then the story makes sense up to the point of all the i love and only you bullshit.

So please, continue to write this shit, just make sure you give the betrayed husband/boyfriend plenty of ammunition to go for the nuclear response when he burns the bitch and her bastard by having the caught slut say something like "yeah, his dick is bigger, he lasts longer, I get a complete meal when I swallow his load and I think I've developed a deeper love for him than I ever had with you...if I ever loved you at all'. Then just go for the all out assault letting the betrayed not be more than fair, to want to deeply hurt the woman I'll probably always love. I think you would have a deeper fan base from the btb crowd if you'd just turn the cuckolds loose to totally rampage that sluts life the way real American men would when faced with that kind of emasculation

to a rise of land that diverts water? I mean, I guess you could but they couldn't let you know could they? Dyke or dike, either one works. As for the story, well the guy did have access to a backhoe and all that stuff. And there were a lot of holes dug during the storm. nuff said.

The original ending is better though it could stand being fleshed out a bit, the other one with the surprise POV shift is just a cheap bait and switch, and doesn't really add anything to the story except for making the narrative come across as an author that's trying too hard with tricks to prop up his story.

funny and interesting 5*

Please note that the expenses he caused the church would have been paid from church funds, not by the preacher. One can only hope that the church stiffed him a couple months' pay.

Dyke: A derogatory term for a female homosexual.

Dike: A structure, usually of dirt and stone, that protects land from flooding.

this story is very, very special to me.

You should have warned us about the incest!

It would have been easy to make them step siblings.

But as is, I had to quit the story at that point which is a shame because it seemed like it would be ok. But, I wont read incest.

I really can't say I liked the ending/s .

Jack was a great character and I loved his rants ..... all the crap he bought down on his wife and ex best friend were well deserved.

I just knew the judge and marriage counselor were crooked in some way.

Really good read .... great fun ..... but I think there was a better ending than vegas !

4*

Excellent story. This shit was so funny

Gave it a 5.

Too damned crazy and hilarious!

I laughed til I cried. How this story doesn't have a red h is beyond me. Yeah it got. a g tad slow but that was easy to over look. I'm glad I found you Saxon Hart. I will read your whole catalog and hope something new is close.

I have seldom been so well entertained by any story. Thanks for the best laughter, I had to read the story in two sittings. Well done and right on.

TARE:1.the weight of the wrapping, receptacle, or conveyance containing goods.

2.a deduction from the gross weight to allow for this.

3.the weight of a vehicle without cargo, passengers, etc.

So the tare referred to was the difference between the empty vehicle weight and the loaded (sand/rock/gravel) weight charged at $35 a ton delivered.

tare slips, tare sheets etc.? Do you mean time?

Jack is a funny motherfucker. The profanity in the courtroom was bloody hilarious. Definitely had a few out-loud chuckles with this one. Oh, and being worker-drone type most of my life, it was especially humorous to read Jack's take on management. I'm reminded of a Xeroxed sign that was posted (by workers, naturally) around a company I once worked for, pinpointing the problem blue has with white collar:

"Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part".

Jack's take on the excuses deployed by Robin and the like were spot on, too, and also a hoot to read.

especially in their courtrooms. TK U MLJ LV NV

Still love this story. When needing a laugh, just come here and enjoy. FD45, agree with you. Too many great lines in this one. Always a 5 star story written by a very good author. Thanks again for the entertainment.

"Cheryl's fucking cat and parakeet were fair game as well"

That tickles me every time I read it.

Nice town been there. But not my choice for being stranded. Robin must have pissed herself after realizing she had been had and left to her own devices.

Liked both endings.

Good Story. I, however liked the original ending better... good either way.

Sammy

totally unrealistic scenario, but a fun read.

defintely liked the revised ending better than the original. Thanks.

The humor covered up a number of writing flaws.

TAGS: I really zero in on these. I have been trying, for months, to find two stories I've previously read. I have tried all kinds of tags searches. I recently found one of them - three of the author's four tags were absolutely useless. I don't see how I'll ever find the other one since the two most obvious tags (blackmail and MMF) haven't worked. Back to these tags - I would never use any of these to search for this story.

Hilarious! Funny and fit for LW. Both endings were okay. I've read stories in the past wherein a female judge was a closet dyke and had a cuckold husband. She was disbarred as well. Good reading as well as writing. Cheers!

Clever use of names for the characters, and entertaining dialogue. My only criticism, is the incest.

Looks as if you'll have to accept ten typed in ones. One crazy MF for sure, I liked him. Liked the story too, keep writing.

**********

the name gag was the funniest. have to admit I didn't catch the significance of the names of the parents next door together till you did for us at the end. Tom and Jeri, good one!

you did miss one opportunity however. you should have thrown in the three stooges somewhere.

Very good story...Thank you...

To all the lame assholes who want to slam your story and tell you how you should have done it, eat shit and die. I checked, not one of you sorry assholes have written or posted one story. Get a life.

My kind of guy.....take no prisoners. Although, my ex would have suffered far greater consequences.

5* all the way.

It was funny throughout thanks

Four stars