All Comments on 'Echoes from a Bitter Past'

by Kezza67

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  • 37 Comments
AllosaurusRexAllosaurusRexalmost 14 years ago
Thank you

A wonderfull tale, I was bourn in Birmingham & it reminded me of places that i new before i left brum in the 60s.

WILLACWILLACalmost 14 years ago
If only!

If only all lives and marriages could be lived to this conclusion the world would be a much more lively and happier place. I was divorced 27 years ago. She was my best friend and partner but life got to us. I just never felt the real desire to let another into my heart (trust issues). Thanks for your story.

bruce22bruce22almost 14 years ago
Beautiful Story

The rhythm was excellent and the word pictures of his father, Mavis and his mother excellent. I was especially taken by his father stating that in their social class there that "like" was more than enough for a marriage!

curioussscuriousssalmost 14 years ago
A wonderful little love story

I almost wept at the emotion here revealed.

A lovely lovely story - thank you.

jasonnhjasonnhalmost 14 years ago
Very enjoyable

Simple story about simple people but very gripping. He wasn't a hero, just a good man doing what he needed to do and then a little bit more. She made a mistake and paid a price for it. But they got together and lived a good life. I wonder how many people just live a good life, maybe thinking it's not such a big deal, and when they get to the ending, like him, realize how special it has really been. I know it was a good story because I felt her loss. Nice work.

Risq_001Risq_001almost 14 years ago
*Sigh* I'll happly stay in the minority on this one....

I understood this to be a "romance" story, and as such things like common sense and consistency need not apply. I don't mean that as an insult to you, but just that the goal of these stories are to create a situation that "gets" resolves in such a way that the end result is a happy ending. And that usually happens by any means necessary need to accomplish that goal.

But having said that....

For me here's the comment that tainted your story:

"It wasn't mine and I would be buggered if I were going to take on another man's child. At eighteen years of age I was selfish and didn't want to take on the responsibility of marriage. There was a modicum of jealous anger in me as well."

With the divorce rate what it is, with "children" barely able to take care of themselves (by that I mean barely working a job that will support themselves, let alone a ready made family), let alone children getting married before they truely understand what marriage is, the first part of your story suggest to me that because your main character didn't want to marry his girlfriend who got "impregnated" by another man that he was then painted as selfish, petty, and spiteful.

Not to mention that he tried to sleep with her first, but she protected that same chastity that she gave away to another man as something she felt was basically inconsequential to her, and if she had never gotten pregnant the main character would never have found out about it.

Wow!

Just Wow!

And then the story tried hard to suggest that they were lost soul mates, passing ships in the night, and that if wasn't for his earlier selfishness she would have had a better life, that all the grief she had to put up with as basically a single mother was due to his actions of not rushing out and marrying her when he first found out she cheated and was pregnant.

I guess to me that is too far fetched to be seen as romance for anyone, when your girlfriend is having another man's baby, that she really doesn't know all that well, and your portrayed in the story as a prick for not stepping up and shouldering the responsibility when the other man, who's already had his fun, wants to skate and find someone else to be with and so now your left holding the bag.

-Risq

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 14 years ago
Wonderful

Great story, I absolutely loved it. Very well told. Thank you for this.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 14 years ago
Good Story

The story flowed and that would have been enought. I had my "buddy", who was also my wife, for over 55 years, and 6 1/2 years later I miss her, not with tears but remembering the many adventures those years provided - her warm and smile still warms me. Your story gave me some moments of reflection.

ephraimephraimover 13 years ago
Great Story!

Well told with feeling. I actually shed a tear as I could relate well with Richard and Mavis. Excellent characterization very good structure and word flow. I really felt that I knew the characters. Even though we are an ocean apart you have touched me deeply.

0649d0649dover 13 years ago
I think this is a romance story in a very different context

If you read the story, he could have knocked her up but his heart wasn't in it so he didn't get his jollies off from her because he'd risk social chastisement - so he used sluts instead. It's a very strange thing but I can only conclude that they weren't in an exclusive relationship so he felt using other girls was okay, and she thought that she could get what he wasn't giving her, from some other man.

Would such a relationship have worked out if he had married her nonetheless? No. Jealousy would have destroyed a relationship. This could be seen as a case of something like "as God wills" (if the story were true) - because the guy had to see Mavis suffer from spousal neglect to care for her again. If she had been happy then he would have probably taken longer to be happy for her, and they still would not be together!

Those saying "if only all humans could be like this.." are deluded because they did not get together at the first opportunity.. it just wouldn't have been successful. I think it WAS proper that she married the guy she had a baby with. Fornicators and adulterers should try and strike it out together, since they are responsible for their actions. It would not be right for a guy to take on responsibility for a pregnant girl that another man is responsible. It would be synonymous to cuckoldry! Hence the girl should be with the man responsible. What happened afterwards is different; she did finally learn her lesson. Do you think she would have learnt her lesson by burdening the innocent guy with her baby? I don't think so; if this were a true story, I would see this is just in God's divine will..

Also, those saying that he was an idiot for blaming himself for her unhappiness - no, he was not! It was just the conflict in his mind. He did not ultimately blame himself. He was just unhappy that she had given herself to someone else, instead of him, when he had been her closest male friend. He just thought he should have forgiven her.. I think ultimately he absolved himself of guilt, and got back with her when she comforted him when he was orphaned and all his family had died. I think it's just great loyalty in the end, and it does help redeem her eventually.

What Keeza67 seems to write in many stories is that it DOES take years for a proper relationship to heal itself and work because of more mature couples and the fact that the past would eventually be water under the bridge (in the right conditions). I agree with this.. I liked this story because it put the meaning of "historical" solidly. Too often historical means roman times or medieval or in a world war or some other well known era, with characters who are aristocrats or very well-off .. not in a working family lost in the mists of time. This was a wonderful gripping story, thanks for the read!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago

Very touching story, had me in tears at the end.

Karavas41Karavas41almost 11 years ago
I love this story

The stories that work best for me are those with a specific location, and concreteness of detail. This one truly smells of coalsmoke and soot, and the industrial midlands where I have lived most of my life.The characters were people like my family and myself. I don't need stories to be set in my neighbourhood, or my workplace. They can be set anywhereand be about any sort of people in any sort of location, but it must feel like somewhere.

Favourite story, favourite author and, of course, five stars. Kezza67, please come back to Literotica - we miss you.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 11 years ago

Nice to have a UK selection of stories on the site, I have been working my way through your stories and have seen Lichfield, Sutton Coldfield and Derby mentioned so far, all fairly local to me and well know to me and as I lived in Sheldon the Birmingham locations from this story are well known to me

thanks

AnonymousAnonymousover 10 years ago
So well written

This story was so beautiful and moving. I was engaged the entire read through. Excellent job.

kjohns2001kjohns2001almost 10 years ago
Wonderful

Such a wonderful story of friendship, love and devotion. You have rather quickly risen to the top of my favorite authors list.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
wow

I am a 55 year old man who has tears in his eyes ,what a powerful storey

I have lived and loved the same woman all my life and could not stand the thought of losing her,

i've just started reading your storey's and I think they are some the best

thanks again for a great read

Nigel

snathsnathalmost 10 years ago
lovely

I loved your style of story telling, being a fifty six year old, some of the things I could relate to mine, although I am from orient. Thanks

TavadelphinTavadelphinover 9 years ago
The ages make it what it was -

Those years in the UK and US produced a slightly different breed of people - mush more stratified by their, almost enforced, lifestyles in many cases.

Ricky's dad was so typical of so many "company town" people "you lived out pos necessity not love - like her and it will work" was a common enough refrain for too many.

Some of us born in those times were luckier to have "professionals" for parents and could afford the luxuries of life - like having a picnic with extras, and looking for the good life, and well just having the time to try as we got older.

Things so many take for granted now.

Nice ly done - AGAIN

photolvrphotolvrover 9 years ago
Thank you!

Wonderful! Thank you!

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Five Stars

Well done!!

Cassy16Cassy16about 9 years ago
Piognant

Thank you for this wonderful story.

Great to see cricket mentioned on Literotica.

Tony NZ

calflashcalflashabout 9 years ago
story

Wonderfully told story. I'm surprised that English laws are so different from American regarding divorce for desertion and required support.

1handslapping1handslappingabout 9 years ago
thats

the laws as they were 50 or 60 years ago, the two systems are closer now

rightbankrightbankover 8 years ago
in the past 60+ years the legal systems on both sides of the Atlantic have changed

"no fault" has radically altered the process and outcome of divorce.

there is no such thing as a company man and job for life any more either.

nor are people as willing to accept "their lot in life" as they used to be.

indoor plumbing and central air were life changers as well.

and those are all good things.

great story.

SampkyangSampkyangabout 8 years ago
Sorry

I see no romance here. basically mavis was a cheating slut and did not deserve anything. she KILLED any chance at true love...all they got was being used to each other...

muze1602muze1602over 7 years ago
One of the best stories I've read

Loved the attitudes expressed and the life descriptions, they feel authentic for the time. Also liked the little history lessons. Did men from those days ever come out and say "I love you"?

Am working my way through your stories list and really enjoying your writing. Thanks.

TheOldRomanticTheOldRomanticover 7 years ago
Dramatic romance.

Good, but drama story.

This is the second romance story without a happy end that's I read from this author.

I don't know why is necessary to kill the wife, when someone of the couple is dead, the romance is finished, and the life of the survivor is destroyed.

For me, the tale was great, unless the end is what I don't agree.

5* for you, but with tears on my eyes.

I apologize for my English, is not my native language.

penneydog55penneydog55over 6 years ago
Again I agree whole heartedly with the previous commenter

What can I say when I've already said it ! I KNOW WRONG ENDING KILLED THE STORY! ★★★☆WOOF

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
What a bunch of bull!

Mavis was best friends with him all of through his young life and rather than have her friend take her cherry, she lets a weasel at work, take it and then gets preganent! What a slut! He should have just left the slut rather than marry her! This isn’t a romance story.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 5 years ago
Contra bull

Some people, including the prior anonymous, are total fools. This is in fact a realistic and quite moving story. The author is (was) a treasure.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 5 years ago
Wonderful evocation of a time and it’s morals.

I grew up in Australia in the 1950s and 60s. I knew a number of “ten pound poms” (migrants from England on an assisted immigration scheme) and their description of the life they left sounded just like this. The story is totally plausible. In those days “nice” girls didn’t, so they never took precautions, but of course they had normal urges. Girls did sometimes fall for the slimy seemingly sophisticated bloke. Especially the “nice” girls, as they were often naive and inexperienced. Having a child out of wedlock was a no no, so shotgun weddings occurred. Sometimes men who were not the father did marry the girl to save her from ignominy, I knew of a couple of cases where this happened. This was seen as a noble thing to do. So yes, his attitudes and actions were very plausible. As for this not being a romance, they ended up loving each other and realising that they loved each other, even if he didn’t say it. There is more than one path to love. All are romantic if it ends in love.

The_OutlanderThe_Outlanderover 2 years ago

A very well crafted story.

I've just reread this and found it to be very moving, but in a real and gritty way.

I was fascinated to learn more about Dr. Beeching and ulterior motives that may have been at play when our railway systems were decimated by his cuts. Smokers have suffered similarly at the hands of the automotive and oil industries.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

A wonderfully crafted story. I've said before, but would like to once again thank you for sharing your talent with us.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Wonderful snapshot of life in those days long gone. I miss the solidarity between families which was so strong then. Great story!

Hiker66BikerHiker66Bikerabout 1 year ago

Good story, and the railway backstory was good and mostly accurate. There was a big gap between wifey moving in and the account of her death 43 years later. I would have liked an epilogue summarising what happened in those years, but it was worth 5 stars and thanks for sharing.

AnonymousAnonymous2 months ago

A sweet-sad story for sure! I definitely enjoyed it. Have not read many stories set in this place and time. Thanks for sharing.

Chimo1961Chimo1961about 1 month ago

Big feelings over this one.

Anonymous
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